I’m a naturally nosy person. I enjoy eavesdropping on conversations in restaurants, stealing glances at WhatsApp messages on the Tube and eyeing up other people’s lunches in the office. But as R29’s deputy beauty director, I’m most intrigued by everyone’s beauty routines, specifically those that take place in the private moments before bed.

Lately, I’ve been drawn to “get unready with me” videos over GRWM. Dermatologists have recently extolled the virtues of evening showers over morning ones, while beauty enthusiasts have popularized the concept of the “morning shed”: removing the skin, hair and other beauty products that they slept in the night before. (Heatless curls need to be unravelled, lip tints peeled off and fake tan rinsed away.)

Whether you consider yourself a minimalist or a maximalist, the self-care advantages of a bedtime beauty routine aren’t to be sniffed at. With that in mind, I asked R29 staffers to share theirs with me. From the benefits of an unctuous lip mask to the underrated appeal of a water flosser, here’s everything the team uses before bed.

Karina Hoshikawa, senior writer

My nighttime beauty routine starts in the shower. After washing my hair and body, I like to anoint myself with a few drops of Aromatherapy Associates’ De-Stress Muscle Bath & Shower Oil and breathe in the relaxing notes of lavender, rosemary, and ginger. My skincare routine comes afterwards: I remove my makeup with a cleansing oil — right now I’m using SON&PARK’s Beauty Water Cleansing Oil — then use the Dr. Barbara Sturm Enzyme Cleanser to gently exfoliate. Then, I use Tatcha’s Texture Tonic and Lenox & Sixteenth’s Laser Serum, which has been my hero serum ever since I interviewed the founder, Amy Peterson. I moisturize with Sofie Pavitt Face’s Omega Rich Moisturizer — another incredible launch from earlier this year that I’m utterly obsessed with.

Depending on the time of the year, my skin will get a bit dry even after applying skincare, so I keep a bottle of Nocturnal’s Polar Night Renewal Serum, which helps my skin rejuvenate while I catch some beauty sleep. This is also when I apply lip balm to help hydrate my lips overnight — my favorite is Summer Fridays’ Lip Butter Balm in Sweet Mint. I absolutely swear by silk pillowcases, which make my bed feel like a sanctuary. I recently got married, so right now my husband and I are snoozing on monogrammed ones by Slip. I also got a sleep mask from Drowsy, a British brand, and it’s like a little pillow for your eyes. Bliss. My last sleep essential is my Oura ring, which has really helped me home in on my biometric stressors and encourage better sleep hygiene. The first thing I do every morning is check my Sleep Score, and nothing starts my day better than getting a crown (Oura-speak for above-average performance). What can I say? I’m just a Virgo who loves the satisfaction of a job well done!

Jacqueline Kilikita, beauty director

I can’t get into bed without washing the day off. In a bid to be more eco-friendly, I shelved my plastic body puff (which should be changed frequently and only ends up in landfill) for a silicone loofah, which can be cleaned and reused time and time again. It’s also replaced my physical exfoliating scrub. When it comes to shower gel, nothing beats Dove Pamper Body Wash With Shea Butter & Vanilla. The lather is rich and creamy and the smell is so comforting, I’m convinced it helps me fall asleep. When I’m dry, I slather my legs in Vaseline’s Gluta-Hya Flawless Glow Serum In Lotion, which absorbs in seconds, and apply foot cream. If I’m washing my hair, I reach for Typebea’s Strength & Length Shampoo and Strength & Length Conditioner, which I’m convinced have significantly boosted my slow hair growth, followed by what is the best hair oil of all time: Kérastase Elixir Ultime. Nothing makes my hair as soft and shiny.

For my hair, all I need to do is rough-dry it for a few minutes with the Shark FlexStyle, and it’s smooth and frizz-free. I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s changed both my hair and my life. Gone are the days of painstakingly blow-drying or straightening it before bed.

I always double cleanse to remove every single scrap of makeup and sunscreen; I love Dr. Idriss’ Soft Wash Complete Daily Cleanser, which is gentle on my reactive skin but cuts through even waterproof foundation and mascara. The evening is when I ramp up my skincare with retinoids to keep my hormonal skin in check. (I always floss and brush before applying my skincare so as not to rinse it away accidentally.) I’ve been using The Ordinary Retinal 0.2% Emulsion but recently I’ve graduated to tretinoin (a stronger prescription retinoid), recommended by consultant dermatologist Dr Alia Ahmed through Get Harley, an online dermatology service. I practice the sandwich method using a substantial moisturizer (currently Aestura Atobarrier365 Cream), putting one layer of face cream, followed by the retinoid and then another layer of face cream. Lastly, I apply a little cuticle oil to encourage stronger nails (L’Occitane Shea Nail and Cuticle Nourishing Oil) and turn out the light!

Venus Wong, senior writer

I can only fall asleep knowing that my skin and hair are sparkling clean, pillowy soft, and smell amazing — and I entrust a suite of products, primarily from Japanese and Korean brands, to help me achieve this goal. First, I double cleanse, starting with the Haruharu Wonder Black Rice Moisture Cleansing Oil, which is great at melting off my SPF and makeup without stripping my skin barrier, followed by Innisfree Cherry Blossom Glow Jam Cleanser. The latter leaves my face fresh but not too dry and I love the fruity-floral scent and rich lather. I’m all about heavily perfumed body washes and LUSH’s Sleepy Shower Gel never fails to help me unwind; the rich tonka and lavender scent is so soothing. My hair routine is pretty basic: I gravitate towards products that maintain hydration without weighing my hair down, and Living Proof’s Perfect hair Day (PhD) Hydrating Shampoo and Conditioner is my favorite combo lately. The proprietary ingredient mimics the benefits of silicone (without the buildup on the scalp), leaving my hair bouncy and squeaky clean without weighing it down.

The rest of my routine has been drastically pared down lately, as it’s been so hot, and I really can’t be bothered. When I get out of the shower, I spray Curél’s Deep Moisture Spray all over my body. Curél is a Japanese drugstore brand I’ve relied on since my teens and I’m really happy to see it become available everywhere now. Its products are rich in ceramides, which help repair the skin barrier and keep it supple and hydrated. I also like that this product can be sprayed upside down, which helps me reach the dry patches on my back. For the face, I do a “mini mask” by placing Mediheal’s Teatree Facial Toner Pads on my cheeks for several minutes. This was a skincare discovery I wrote about after a trip to Seoul last year; it’s a popular K-beauty hack for calming redness and acne, thanks to the tea tree essence. I follow with a sleeping mask so I can wake up with supple skin without doing tons of work. My nightly staple is Erno Lazlo’s Hydra-Therapy Memory Gel Sleep Mask, which has a fun, jello-like texture and plumps the skin with moisturizing vitamin E and prickly pear extract. On the weekends, I pamper myself with Dr. Barbara Sturm’s Everything Eye Patches as a treat for my under eyes, or use Dr.Jart+ Ceramidin Skin Barrier Moisturizing Mask if my skin has been particularly dry. For fragrance, I love the clean and feminine scent of Elizabeth Arden’s White Tea Eau Florale Eau de Toilette and douse myself in it before climbing into bed. I also spray Gisou’s Honey Infused Hair Perfume onto my ends, which provides me with sweet, comforting whiffs of honey when I toss and turn at night.

L’Oréal Blackett, Unbothered editor

My evening routine is all about relaxing before bed, scrubbing away the grime of the world, and plucking rogue hairs out of my chin. It’s not pretty, but a very functional routine to help me maintain my zen. I always start by getting my hair out of my face; the method varies depending on whether I have a sew-in or I’m wearing a half-wig or clip-ins. I usually take out my clips and hairpins, then put my hair into messy chunky twists to help prevent tangling, tie them back in a bobble, wrap with a silk scarf and cover with an extra-large bonnet I got at my local Afro beauty store. If my scalp needs it, I will add a hair serum (currently Cécred’s Nourishing Hair Oil) to tide me over until my next wash day or weave takedown.

Next up, I double cleanse to remove my makeup. I prefer a balm cleanser, such as Elemis’ Pro Collagen Cleansing Balm, then I go in with my trusty Simple Moisturizing Facial Wash. It’s non-drying, helps remove any lingering makeup and is affordable. I’ve used it since I was 12 — that’s my definition of a holy-grail product! I floss with dental picks, scrub my teeth with an electric brush and gargle with mouthwash — you know the drill. In the shower, I also double cleanse my body; I just don’t feel right without a good, long soak. First, I use a bar of antibacterial soap by Dettol. My grandma introduced me to Dettol baths as a kid, helping to keep acne on my chest and back clean, and it’s still a step I refuse to skip. For a good lather, I go in with Dove’s Deeply Nourishing Body Wash with an African net sponge made from nylon — they are really easy to keep clean and sanitary in your shower.

If I’m in the mood, I shave my legs, pits and bits to save me from doing it in the morning. A shower oil comes next. I’ve recently run out of the popular almond shower oil by L’Occitane, so I switched to ESPA’s Restorative Bath and Body Oil and it is perfect for before bed. You either add it directly to your bath or directly to your skin while wet, and the scent mix of essential oils makes me so sleepy. After hopping out of the shower, I speed through my skincare routine. Depending on the last time I dermaplaned, I will go in with my Venus dermaplaner to get rid of some of my peach fuzz (be careful, I’ve sliced my finger open with this thing multiple times).

Irina Grechko, senior content director, fashion

I often work out at night, so the first step in my nighttime routine is to shower. If I am washing my hair, I use the L’Oréal Paris Elvive Dream Lengths Shampoo and Conditioner, made for those with long, fine hair. I follow it with a nourishing amika Soulfood Nourishing Mask, applied with a detangling wet brush. I leave the mask on as I wash my body with Nivea’s Basil & White Tea Shower Gel and “floss” my teeth with a waterproof Waterpik because I still haven’t figured out how to use it without getting water all over the floor.

After a shower, I use a microfiber-towel turban to let my hair slightly dry, before using a Yves Durif Vented Brush (my hairstylist Olya Iudina got me hooked on it; you can use it on both wet and dry hair). I will then moisturize my body while it’s still damp. I’m in love with the body oil from Officine Universelle Buly, the French brand that has gone viral for its personalized lip balm. It smells divine and is the best body oil I have ever used. It nourishes the skin without leaving it oily.

I alternate my skincare routine. Every other day, I start my nighttime prep by washing my face with a Dieux Baptism Gel Cleanser. It foams beautifully, leaves my skin feeling clean, and smells so good. I use the Glossier Milky Oil Makeup Remover to get rid of any eye makeup that may have lingered. The biggest issue that my skin faces is dehydration, so I don’t apply any serums or creams without spraying my face with Mario Badescu’s Facial Spray first to create a base layer of moisture. I will then follow it with Sunday Riley’s A+ High-Dose Retinoid Serum. Because my skin is on the drier side, face oils work best for me at night. Since it’s summer, though, I currently use a lighter Révive Moisturizing Renewal Oil, which leaves my skin plump without feeling too heavy or greasy in the heat. Once a week, I will switch the face oil for the Summer Fridays Jet Lag Mask and leave it on overnight.

Less is more when it comes to keeping my skin looking clear, so on alternate days I will strip my skincare routine down to three steps with Vintner’s Daughter’s The Ultimate Set: a gentle cleanser, an essence (which replaces my face spray) and a botanical serum (which I use as a face oil). While not cheap, Vintner’s Daughter is the GOAT; over the years, I’ve come back to its cult serum again and again for the way it makes my skin glow unlike anything else on the market. I also use a red light therapy mask from Solawave three times a week to even out my skin texture and calm any hormonal breakouts or irritation.

Esther Newman, affiliate writer

I love a good routine, especially when I’m preparing for bed. I like to shower at night so I can wash away the day and flush any unwanted energy down the drain. I like to make this a self-care ritual, so I’ll light a candle and add some soothing essential oils to the bottom of the shower. You can’t beat Neal’s Yard Remedies’ Women’s Balance, which is an intoxicating blend of patchouli, geranium, rose, and frankincense. It instantly soothes my mind and grounds me.

I’m typically pretty low-key when it comes to beauty and body care. If I’m wearing makeup, I’ll first cleanse with Bioderma Sensibio H2O Micellar Water on a reusable cotton pad. Once in the shower, I’ll double up with La Roche-Posay Toleriane Dermo Cleanser, which is perfect for my dry, sensitive skin. For my body, I also like a gentle and moisturizing body wash, and my latest favorite is the Naturium The Booster Hyaluronic Acid Body Wash. My skin doesn’t feel tight or itchy afterwards, and the hydration really lasts. I don’t even feel like I need to double up with a body cream, so that cuts out an extra step. If I’m washing my hair, I like the MONDAY Haircare Moisture Shampoo and Conditioner; my go-to since reviewing them back in 2021. I love the easy-to-use packaging (a must as a glasses wearer who struggles to see in the shower) and the hydrating, lightweight formula that doesn’t weigh my fine hair down. It leaves it bouncy and glossy.

Once out of the shower, I’ll throw my hair up in a microfiber towel to minimize frizz. In terms of skincare, I try to keep it simple, too. My hero product is the Tower 28 SOS Daily Rescue Facial Spray, which has transformed my skin, reducing bacteria and eradicating the stubborn texture along my chin and white spots around my nose. Once this dries down, I’ll follow with a hydrating serum (the Medik8 Liquid Peptides), and then slather on my favorite moisturizer, Charlotte Tilbury’s Magic Cream, and a LANEIGE lip mask.

Finally, it’s time to brush my teeth. After being told by my dentist that my usual electric toothbrush is adding too much pressure to my teeth, I’ve switched to a SURI Toothbrush, which is powerful but a lot more gentle — and quieter than other models.

Tanyel Mustafa, senior writer

No matter what time I go to bed — whether it’s 10 p.m. after an evening at home or 4 a.m. after going to a club — I will always wash my face and body. There’s nothing better than climbing into a clean bed, also feeling clean. I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth, cleanse my face, then shower. I use Emma Hardie Moringa Cleansing Balm or Naturium Purple Ginseng Cleansing Balm to remove my makeup. The Emma Hardie one is perfect for my dry skin as it cleanses without stripping moisture or irritating my eyes, but it is definitely a treat due to the price point. The Naturium one is a cheaper option that also works well with my skin. I’m not a double cleanser; I feel if a product can’t do it in one, it’s not a very good cleanser (controversial, I know).

If it’s a Sunday, I’ll apply a mask while in the shower. The two I currently have in rotation are The Outset Purifying Blue Clay Mask if my skin needs a deep cleanse and Tatcha Violet-C Radiance Mask for something a bit more gentle. Weekdays I skip the mask and go straight in with Nécessaire Eucalyptus The Body Wash, which has a relaxing scent and is gentle on skin. I go in with facial skincare immediately after drying off. First, it’ll be a serum of some kind, like The Ordinary Lactic Acid 10% if I want gentle exfoliation, or a high-strength vitamin C. Sometimes I skip this step and go straight to moisturizer. My favorite nourishing one is Charlotte Tilbury Magic Cream in the winter, and The Ordinary Natural Moisturizing Factors + HA for warmer weather. Both give my skin what it needs without feeling heavy, oily or clogging. I’m not an oil fan. Post-shower, I need to moisturize my body, which I thoroughly hate doing as it’s so boring but it’s good for reducing my seasonal eczema flare-ups. Aveeno Daily Moisturising Lotion does the job. Then I slather my lips in Glow Recipe Plum Plump Hyaluronic Gloss Balm. Finally, it’s time for bed with a silk pillowcase, which is a recent investment I’ve made as it’s better for skin and hair!

Victoria Montalti, associate fashion writer

My nighttime routine always starts with a shower and while none of the steps is particularly out of the norm, I do like to occasionally throw in a lavender shower steamer tablet to help unwind from stressful days. Afterwards, I spray It’s A 10 Miracle Leave-In Lite onto my hair and comb it through with my fingers to serve as a heat protectant before I dry it. But first, while my skin is still moist, I spray Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs Tanning Water all over my body! I’ve just started using Jergen’s Natural Glow Face Moisturizer on my face at night and in the morning, too, so I’m not two completely different shades. Next, I move on to drying my bob-length hair, which actually takes longer than you may think since I section it off for a nice blowdry (or else my hair will be super flat and get oilier quicker).

For my skincare routine, I typically keep it very minimal (a face mist and lip mask), but when I’m going all out, I’ll use Futurewise’s Slugging System (a three-step routine consisting of a hydrating face mist, barrier repair moisturizer, and moisture-locking slug balm). I just keep the slugging balm below my bangs so I don’t make them greasy. I finish off my routine with Laneige’s original Lip Sleeping Mask and Bouncy & Firm Sleeping Mask, which I use on my neck for some extra hydration. (And on the occasion that I have a stubborn breakout, I like using e.l.f’s Blemish Breakthrough Stick It to Zits Pimple Patches overnight, which is always super pleasing to remove the next morning.)

All that’s left to do is turn down for bed. I’ve been sleeping on satin pillowcases for years and I simply can’t turn back. They’re so silky smooth and cooling, and I find that I don’t wake up with crazy creases on my face, like you sometimes do with standard cotton pillowcases. To sweeten the deal, I spray ThisWorks Sleep Plus Pillow Spray onto my pillows, which makes them smell like lavender and chamomile and helps relax me even more for a good night’s rest.

This story was originally published on Refinery29 UK.

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As Addison Rae blasts in our headphones, hot dogs sizzle on the grill, sand collects in beach bags, and European vacation plans get finalized, we’re deep in summer mode. And at Refinery29, that means leaning into the good vibes (and hot temps) with fashion that matches the mood.

Right now, we’re all about our go-to denim shorts and easy summer dresses, plus heat-wave-ready accessories like comfortable sandals and and baseball caps — the kind that instantly pull a look together. We’ve also included the travel MVPs making it into our packed bags to build the best vacation outfits. Think: Foldable ballet flats, blister-proof socks, water-resistant anklets, and so-fun matching sets.

Ahead, find 27 editor-approved pieces we’re wearing on repeat — from reader-favorite brands like Lululemon, Madewell, and Vivaia to new discoveries like Chord, Shezza, and Anonymous Copenhagen.

All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.

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I used to be the person who bought a new journal every time I needed to “get my life together.” Think sleek leather covers, crisp white pages, and maybe a cute matching pen. I’d start writing with a burst of motivation, filling a few pages with deep thoughts, a list of goals, or perhaps even a poem. I told myself that this would be the journal I finally stuck with, where I’d finally get consistent about checking in with myself. Inevitably though, life got busy. The journal remained half-finished and forgotten, gathering dust on my desk, until the next booklet caught my eye. At some point, my collection of unfinished journals turned into a running joke — proof that even with the best intentions, sticking to a habit of self-reflection can be harder than it looks.

As relatable as my abandoned journals may be, the reality is that self-reflection can sometimes feel inaccessible and rigid. Therapists have long recommended journaling as a way to process emotions, track personal growth, and untangle mental clutter. When I did manage to sit down and write, it felt like I was releasing a weight I hadn’t even realized I was carrying. Still, I know from my own experiences and from watching those around me that traditional journaling isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution.

Some people struggle to put their thoughts into words, while others prefer having multiple ways to express themselves. Some days, I wanted to pour out all of my thoughts through my pen, driven by a stroke of poetic inspiration; other days, I simply wished I could vent verbally, capturing all the small details as if I was speaking to a friend.  And then there were moments when words didn’t feel right at all. I’d reach for my colored pencils or watercolors, letting the shades speak instead: calming greens on peaceful days, chaotic reds when I felt overwhelmed, and bright yellows when something made me smile. Through those different forms of expression, I realized that there was no single way to journal.

That’s when the idea of Reflexion was born.

I created an app that makes journaling more accessible and flexible, adapting to people’s unique and everchanging ways of expressing themselves. Reflexion, which will soon be available in the Apple App Store, offers seven different input methods so you can journal in a way that best suits your needs on any given day. If you prefer writing, there’s of course text journaling. On days when speaking feels easier, you can voice record to express what’s on your mind or choose a video diary entry. For visual thinkers, you can draw freely on a built-in canvas using adjustable brush sizes and a variety of color palettes, including warm tones, pastels, neons, and more to match your mood. You can also upload handwritten notes; the app automatically scans the image and recognizes any text, to save it in the database. That way, even if you prefer to journal by hand on some days, you still have all your reflections in one centralized place. You can also upload photos and images that capture a reflection of your mood or moment, like in the early days of Instagram. And when your time or energy is low, there are mood sliders so you can quickly log how you’re feeling with just a few taps.

All of these reflections, no matter the format, are stored in the “Entries” page, creating a centralized place where reflections are kept together. This flexibility means you don’t have to choose one format over another; you can switch from a voice note one day to a drawing the next, and Reflexion will keep everything organized. Each entry is tagged with one of five moods: joyful, calm, energetic, stressed, or sad. These moods are either selected by the user or suggested by the app’s AI-powered mood detection, with the flexibility to override the AI’s choice.

Accessibility is woven throughout Reflexion’s design. The app supports various input methods to accommodate different abilities, offers adjustable font sizes, light and dark modes, and a clean interface that makes it simple and intuitive for users to navigate. There’s also an insights feature that allows you to look back, identify patterns, and track progress.

Looking ahead, I hope Reflexion continues to grow alongside the cultural shift we’re seeing in how we talk about mental health, which has grown to be more open, less stigmatized, and built on small everyday moments of awareness rather than crisis response. Mental health tools need to feel personal, intuitive, and grounded in the way we actually live, especially for younger generations, like me, who spend so much of their lives online.

One-size-fits-all solutions rarely work, especially when it comes to the nuances of our individual mental health needs, and tools like Reflexion reflect the complexity and fluidity of how we experience our emotions, whether that’s through words, voice, visuals, or other moments of quiet self-awareness. That’s the vision behind Reflexion, and it’s one I’m excited to keep building toward. I’m currently working on improving the app’s AI-powered mood detection, creating more personalized prompts, and refining accessibility so that everyone, regardless of background or ability, feels seen and supported.

What began as a solution to my graveyard of half-finished journals became the foundation of what I believe technology should be: not something that demands consistency or perfection, but something that honors the imperfect, nonlinear yet beautiful ways we experience our emotions. Reflexion is just the beginning — and it’s taught me that creating something meaningful starts with keeping at heart the people it’s meant to serve.

Michelle Han is a passionate developer and researcher who puts accessibility and inclusive design at the core of her work. She began her coding journey and discovered the joy of being able to translate ideas into tools that make a difference at Kode With Klossy, where she now serves as an Instructor Assistant. Her app Reflexion was recognized in the 2025 Apple Swift Student Challenge, and she currently conducts research at MIT Media Lab’s Fluid Interfaces group, where she explores affective computing systems within human-computer interaction. This fall, Michelle will begin her undergraduate studies at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), where she plans to major in Computer Science, Economics, and Data Science.

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In an ideal world, I’d never wear a strapless bra again. No hate to them, but with summer finally here, I can’t think of a more unappealing undergarment when it comes to tiny-tank-top-and-strappy sundress season — the marks that it leaves on the hot skin, the constricting material, the underboob sweat marks, the constant slipping… As if my phone was listening to my innermost thoughts (I’m not convinced that it isn’t, for the record), my social feeds started to get flooded with ads for Cakes, a brand of nipple covers that has intrigued me since first making rounds on TikTok over a year ago.

After first becoming popular for its Grippy Cakes, adhesive-free nipple covers, the brand has more recently unveiled the heat wave-friendly Sticky Cakes, which have a tacky, adhesive layer to offer more support (and peace of mind). Cakes’ nipple covers come in a few different sizes ( “itty bitty” for AAA-A cups, “OG” for B-DD cups, and “+” for DDD cups and up), skin tones (Honey, Caramel, and Cocoa), and shapes (circles and triangles).

I’ve had mixed success with nipple covers in the past. While the objective is to create a smooth surface underneath tight and/or sheer clothing, some of them made my breast outline even more pronounced as a result of thicker material or uneven edges, defeating the point entirely. Others made an early exit (this happened during my wedding reception, and I didn’t realize until the after-party — oops!) and fell off.

With summer finally here, and strapless bras out until fall, I set out to find out if Cakes, with their $33 price point — which hovers just above many of its competitors — were the real deal. (Although they are on 30% off right now, BTW.) From white tees to bikini tops (yes, bikini tops!) to backless dresses, I put Cakes Grippy Circles, Grippy Triangles, Sticky Circles, and Sticky Triangles, all in the “OG” size and Honey colorway to the test. Ahead, my thoughts.

Grippy Cakes Circles, $33 $23.10

First up, I tried the Grippy Cakes Circles. The silicone was smooth and soft, with the contoured shape thickest in the center and gradually thinned out on the exterior. As with any nipple covers, I applied them to clean, dry skin. I probably could’ve sized down in the circles because they nearly covered my entire breast. This is not necessarily a good or bad thing, especially considering that nipples and breasts vary in size and shape, but something to be aware of if your breasts are on the smaller side of the brand’s range.

The brand recommends wearing this style under tight clothing to help the Cakes stay in place, but I wore mine under a loosely fitting white T-shirt, and they were not only undetectable as advertised but felt secure all day, even in summer heat. After wearing them for a full day, I gently removed them, rinsed them with warm water, and patted them dry. According to the brand, if you follow these instructions, Grippy Cakes are reusable since they use your body’s heat, not adhesive, to naturally cling onto the skin. (Buying fewer, better things? Here for it.)

The circle-shaped “style” was most similar to other nipple covers I’ve tried in the past, but I found that these held up better with sweat and seamlessly blended with my skin (none of those uneven-edge issues I’ve experienced in the past). I would definitely wear these again with a sheer blouse or a plain white tee.

Grippy Cakes Triangles, $33 $23.10

Later that week, I gave the Grippy Triangles, which have an elongated, pointed shape that offers coverage for trickier styles, a try; since they have a sleeker profile, they work for low-cut or V-neck styles that the Circles may have peeked out from. What’s more, Cakes says you can wear these with swimwear (and for working out, but I tend to need more significant support if I’m doing anything more intense than walking). To test this theory, I threw on a triangle bikini and hopped in the pool. I was honestly impressed that the covers stayed in place through swimming and then laying out in the sun; water and sweat didn’t affect the grippiness of the silicone whatsoever.

Would these make it through surfing in Montauk? Probably not. But a little dip and/or playing mermaids is more than fine for these. I probably wouldn’t wear it again under swimwear because I look for styles that already have light padding in them. However, I appreciate having the option for sweat-filled days, and would recommend these for brides who want to dance the night away without worrying about a wardrobe malfunction like mine or, worse, a nip slip.

Sticky Cakes Circles & Triangles, $33 $23.10

Lastly, I tried the new Sticky Cakes, which are nearly identical to their grippy counterparts in look and feel (they come in the same silicone material) but are coated in a thin layer of medical-grade adhesive. I’ll admit, sticky-front bras have been in my wardrobe arsenal for years now, providing light support and lift in backless, strapless designs, but I’m always on the hunt for something better, whether that’s in terms of comfort, performance, or both. (Cakes just released their version, called the Cleavage Bra, which I am eager to try.)

Sticky Cakes are a nice middle ground between going braless and the aforementioned sticky bras. The design has a small divot in the center (called a “nip nook”), so you don’t get adhesive anywhere near the delicate nipple area. When compared to Grippy Cakes, these felt more secure. The adhesive was tacky enough to stay in place (even in 90°F summer heat) but wasn’t so sticky that it hurt to remove it at the end of the day. Per the brand, the sticky versions can be worn at least 10 times with proper care and storage, which involves gently rinsing with warm water, air-drying, and storing in the included pouch. I would save this style for my backless summer dresses on the hottest days of the season or an outdoor summer music festival.

Final Thoughts

So, is Cakes worth the hype? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t impressed. The grippy styles are great from a sustainability perspective. To me, the triangle shapes are a game-changer thanks to the way you can rotate them 180° in either direction to make even the trickiest neckline work. I also felt like these were the most seamless, invisible alternative to bras I’ve tried so far. Out of all the combinations I tried, the sticky triangles ended up being the winner in my book, since the shape was a universal fit for any tricky wardrobe situation, and I like having the adhesive as an insurance measure.

Bonus: The brand is dedicated to supporting women’s health via Cakes Cares, the brand’s philanthropic arm, which has donated over a million dollars to breast cancer research and support programs. (As the daughter of a breast cancer survivor, I love this.)

Now that I’ve got a full wardrobe of Cakes at my disposal, I feel that my search for the perfect nipple cover has ended. From future wedding dance floors to music festivals and other sweaty, bra-unfriendly scenarios, I may never wear bras again — or at least for the summer.

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To ship or not to ship — that is the quandary of the New Moon in Leo. The lunation brings an unexpected intensity, forcing us to consider our future. With our hearts on the line, we’ll find that the dramatic approach is the only way to make a point and capture attention. Being thirsty won’t help matters. Instead we’ll find out that having the strength to let go of certain connections and start fresh is the best move because it empowers us to take control of our lives. To embrace the New Moon in Leo energy, we must reclaim our love for the MVP in our world: the person looking right back at us in the mirror. Who else would it be?

The day before the New Moon sets the vibe: on July 23rd, Venus in Gemini and Mars in Virgo square off, creating an intense internal energy. Finding the right ways to deal with inner frustrations might be difficult. Since Mars in Virgo can be repressive and Venus in Gemini is more expressive, we might be unsure of the best actions to take in relationships, with both signs’ mercurial nature adding to the uncertainty. It’ll be hard to immediately figure out what we yearn for, but we can think things over and gather information that informs our decisions in time. Trust the process and give yourself a moment.

On July 24th, the day of the lunation, Saturn retrograded in Aries, Neptune retrograded in Aries, Uranus in Gemini, and Pluto retrograde in Aquarius, are in aspect with the New Moon. Saturn retrograde brings emotional intelligence to the mix, allowing us to approach the situation maturely (even if we do not know how to). Neptune retrograde increases our sensitivity to the circumstances we’ll be feeling from Pluto retrograde, which will create power struggles and triangular dynamics in certain relationships. Uranus awakens us, clearing the haze and helping us see the areas of our lives that require change — particularly in the romance department.

This doesn’t spell doom for love matters. We may desire space from a friendship, partnership, or situationship to figure out our sentiments and uncover if we wish to deepen the connection or move on. There will be a push and pull between our heart and mind, and our needs and wants. We will find ourselves caught in the middle: unable to be delusional and ultimately compelled to accept reality. The cosmos is giving us a wake-up call to gather and process integral information to enlighten and improve our options. Along the way, there will be confusion due to Mercury retrograde in Leo, which is currently underway.

We can use this New Moon to our advantage by digging deep to understand our motives and triggers. Finding out the psychological reasons that cause us to react in a particular manner will provide an understanding of our role in dealing with conflict and our feelings. We may even use this as a motivational time to speak up and assert ourselves. No matter what we do, we must evolve and transform. The old ways of handling matters aren’t working and should be adjusted. Growth is challenging but necessary. Who we are becoming is a person of beauty, independence, and the freedom to make their own choices. For better or worse, we are leaning into our core values and beliefs to manifest what we deserve.

All in all, the intention we must set is one of self-love. Whichever path we take, the most important thing to know is that we are worthy of respect, kindness, and empathy. Receiving is just as important as giving and we should ensure that balance. Don’t overextend yourself too much to make someone else happy. The person in need of TLC is you. When you honor and respect yourself, others will too. But it starts with you: look at your fierce self in the mirror and blow a kiss to your image. Write love letters to yourself. Buy yourself a treat or gift. Talk to yourself like you would your best friend. When asked who loves you, bb? You’ll know that you do!

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Cancer Season 2025 Is Here

Your July 2025 Horoscope Is Here

Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: an occupational therapist who has a $354,000 household income and who spends some of her money this week on chili crisp (for both personal use and gifting purposes).

If you’d like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we’re not able to reply to every email.

Occupation: Occupational therapist
Industry: Healthcare
Age: 31
Location: Seattle, WA
Salary: My rate is $60 an hour — last year I made $101,000.
Household Income & Financial Setup: $354,000. My boyfriend, M., outearns me pretty significantly and we are still navigating how to share that divide. Currently, I pay him rent and we split groceries and utilities 2:1. We have no joint accounts but know all of each other’s numbers and are both generous with covering meals and small expenses. He does often pay for the nicer meals or bigger house purchases. We split travel evenly, but are discussing if we should change that. We use a lot of points and don’t reimburse each other for those.
Assets: 401(k): $22,585; IRA: $51,401; Robinhood: $18,166; rollover IRA #1: $5,353; rollover IRA #2: $5,643; Acorns: $2,271; Ally HYSA: $15,141; local credit union checking: $1,378; local credit union savings: $800; car: $4,500.
Debt: $2,488, all in student loans.
Paycheck Amount (Monthly): $8,400 pre tax and retirement, but this varies.
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: $1,100 paid to M., who owns the house. We live with a dog (who does not pay rent).
Loan Payments: $476.15 every two weeks towards student loans.
401(k): 15% of what I make monthly with a 4% company match.
Roth IRA: $583.33
Gym: $99
Phone: $42.50 paid toward family plan.
Utilities: This varies but around $200 for my portion of water, trash, and electricity.
Donations: $250 reoccurring and usually an extra $100-$400 in mutual aid or Go Fund Me.

Annual Expenses

Car Insurance: $650
Credit Card Fees: $680 aggregate (high, but we use the perks well).
Costco: $65 for my half.

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, college was always expected. My parents never really talked us through other options and I was a high-achieving student at a low-achieving school, so all my teachers expected it as well. I knew I wanted to go into healthcare or social work so it was always an assumption that I would get at least a master’s degree. I applied for a needs-based scholarship in middle school that got me through most of undergrad. It wasn’t enough for my final year but I was able to graduate early to offset the extra costs of a tuition raise. My parents paid for the rent and end of undergrad for me. Graduate school was extremely expensive. Therapy is a very high debt-burden-to-income ratio. I paid my first semester in cash and only took out loans for tuition. I worked almost full time during which is unusual for a professional program and was extremely stressful. I graduated with around $100,000 in debt and paid extensively during COVID-19 so I am almost done, but it is pretty frustrating to see reimbursement rates stagnant as debt burdens increase.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents were incredibly frugal and I picked up on a lot of that. They gave us very small allowances (literally starting with three nickels but then increasing to six) and had us split it between give, save, and to have fun with. It was negligible to pay for much, but did get the point across for budgeting. We never talked about stocks or investing or the reality of taking on so much debt for school. My parents continue to be very frugal, but I think are sometimes unrealistic about how much potential things like longterm care could cost.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was nannying at 11 years old. I made $5 an hour to watch a five and six year old for 42 hours a week. It seems archaic now, but I had that job for several summers. At 16 years old, I worked as a server at a retirement home. I kept this job through the end of high school and during early college breaks. I got the jobs to pay for any extra curricular and social activities that I wanted to participate in. My friends were all more affluent and it felt like a necessity.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Yes. Money to me was freeing and my parents never gave us money for social activities. We always had the necessities and I never worried about food or housing. We were very lucky how present our parents were and both often worked part time to be with us, but we rarely had more than the necessities. I was the only upperclassmen on my school bus for example — the rest of my rural-ish community gave kids cars at 16 years old. My dad lost his job when I was in high school and my family was very stressed about it, but I didn’t know much about the realities of how that changed their finances.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes and no. Having gone to grad school I feel very behind in savings and investing as I didn’t start truly working beyond paying rent and food until 25 years old. My career is also pretty capped in pay, which is frustrating. I have a very supportive partner and a very in-demand job which helps with stability. I’ve also made significant progress in saving and paying down debt which increases my comfort level.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
At 22. My parents retired and I got kicked off their health insurance at that point, as well as losing any support for rent and schooling. I think they would likely help me if I needed it, but I would turn to my partner or sister first. I have a large extended family so I would always have somewhere to live.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Yes. My parents supported the end of undergrad and gave my sister and I each $5,000 when our grandmother died. This started my Roth IRA.

Day One: Monday

6:40 a.m. — Wake up before my alarm. I have been in and out of sleep for a while so I decide to get up. Kiss M., my boyfriend, and Q., our dog, who are both still snoozing. Make coffee and look through emails for the day. Put on sunscreen. M. had Q. before we met and does most of the dog care while I take the heterosexual dad approach (I know where the vet is and refer to it as babysitting when I have him for the weekend). If not mentioned, know that Q. gets four walks a day, minimum.

8 a.m. — M.’s mom is staying with us and I help her with breakfast things while M. finishes some work. They leave around 10 a.m. to go for a hike. I make and eat a quesadilla between meetings.

12 p.m. — Normally I have no gap between meetings and treating, but my first two kids are out for Spring Break so I take time to run, shower, and eat lunch. I have salted cucumbers and a salad with vegan chicken nuggets. Q. returns from his day dog walker in time to share my cucumbers.

2:15 p.m. — Head out for my first non-cancelled kid for the day. I have two teenage girls in a row who are both absolutely wonderful and totally different. Both I love hanging out with.

5:35 p.m. — Get home from my kids. M. is on the couch and we share Chex Mix my mom made us for our Passover/Easter basket. I make ratatouille and polenta for dinner. M.’s mom mentions she doesn’t make a lot of stews and I have to confess I make ratatouille like the rat not like the original dish.

6:45 p.m. — Eat and clean the kitchen. I have leftover carrot cake a friend made for Seder dinner. It’s good for gluten free. M. and his mom take Q. out for his evening walk and I send some emails and document for the day.

10 p.m. — Brush teeth, retinol, sleep.

Daily Total: $0

Day Two: Tuesday

5:55 a.m. — Wake up with my alarm and move to the couch. Read the news and make coffee. I prep for my sessions and clean out my backpack. I grab some oranges and a granola bar but will get something during a gap so I don’t try super hard.

7:15 a.m. — Say goodbye to M. and Q. and M.’s mom, who is heading to the airport while I’m at work. Sunscreen in the car. Chat about self-advocacy and making good choices in class with my first friend and make a little visual for it.

8:30 a.m. — My second kid is out so I go to Starbucks and get a matcha oat latte and a falafel wrap ($10.41 on a gift card). Going to Starbucks in the Seattle area is pretty embarrassing, but they consistently have a place I can work. Answer emails and complete notes.

9:30 a.m. — Hang out with my next two little friends. Lots of executive functioning and social emotional stuff. The first one radiates joy and is one of my favorites. Not that I have favorites.

11:20 a.m. — Drive to my next school. Feeding therapy kid. His teacher tells me that he has continued to eat a particular food that we mastered last session. We make a mess with couscous and snap peas. Hope the teachers continue to like me. I have another big gap, although my last kid blessedly moved up. I stop by our house to send emails, document, and take a 15-minute coffee nap.

2:55 p.m. — Last kid of the day. We work on handwriting and nose blowing. He tells me I’m his favorite teacher. We are having too much fun so he probably is almost ready to be done with therapy.

4 p.m. — Drive to kick boxing. It’s a short class, but enjoyable. It’s a balmy day for Seattle and I get lured into an Indian cafe and get M. and I mango lassis. $11.01

5 p.m. — Give M. his snacks and check in about the day. I am doing a big screening tomorrow so I spent the evening printing and preparing.

7:30 p.m. — Make rice, Cantonese soft tofu, and roasted broccolini for dinner. We are low on chili crisp and it’s cheaper to order three so I do. They make good gifts. $44.97

10 p.m. — I am having trouble settling down (couldn’t be the news that I’m reading on my phone in bed) so I get up and trim and thin my hair and do a face mask. I tell M. so he can pretend to have noticed and he tells me how good it looks. Stretch, warm water, and read (On Looking by Alexandra Horowitz). I fall asleep sometime around midnight.

Daily Total: $55.98

Day Three: Wednesday

6:30 a.m. — Up and double check all the materials for screenings while my coffee drips through the pour over. Several families have added, even though the deadline is well in the past.

8:30 a.m. — I take a meeting over the phone while driving to the school (and putting on sunscreen). I am screening any child pre-K to 5th grade with another OT at a private Catholic school. I take another meeting at the school and then start pulling kids.

2:45 p.m. — All done! I had a granola bar and green juice earlier, but we didn’t get a break for lunch and I’m starving. Pack up all the materials and head to a grocery store I’ve been wanting to try. I commit the cardinal sin of grocery shopping hungry, but don’t spend too outrageous an amount. I get honey butter chips, mango sago, salmon ongiri, pok choy, pea vines, seafood mushrooms, pork and vegetable dumplings, vegetable buns, spicy rice crust crackers, peach ice cream, curry rice balls, and rice vinegar. All the meat and seafood is for M. only. $65.67

3:45 p.m. — Get home, unpack, and answer emails. I eat the honey butter chips, apples, bell peppers, and two curry rice balls. I answer emails and other therapist questions I missed.

6:15 p.m. — Grab a bell pepper each (leaving behind the bell pepper tax for Q.) and walk to trivia at a local bar. M. orders himself chili and me a beer. We split fries. The four of us there have a pretty even split in knowledge areas but there is a disproportionate amount of French knowledge on this one. We get third place.

8:30 p.m. — Home. I eat some rice chips and drink a ton of water. My sister facetimes to try to use our Amex codes for an LCD Soundsystem concert presale. We split the mango sago and a peach ice cream while talking to her.

Daily Total: $65.67

Day Four: Thursday

5:30 a.m. — Wake up with the light. I make coffee and water. I answer emails and start some laundry.

9 a.m. — I meant to go for a run earlier, but got caught up in work. M. and I both leave for runs. I do a quick hill workout and head back and shower. Make a strawberry banana smoothie before my first meeting.

10 a.m. — Meet with another therapist. We meet over the phone so I’m able to pack for my sessions during. I also take Cheez-Its, peppers (this is a mistake and I get seeds all over the driver seat), apples, and granola bars. I will eat these during my drives. First session is water beads, fidget creation, and self-care.

12:30 p.m. — Drive to our clinic and see three kids back to back in a group. Lots of fine motor and emotional regulation.

3:30 p.m. — Drive to a home session. I see two brothers back to back. All the other therapists have dropped them due to behaviors, but I adore them. I think that I have easier sessions because I always let my kids know how happy I am to see them.

5:45 p.m. — Drive to a park session closer to my house. My mom calls on my drive to tell me that I diagnosed her nerve entrapment correctly. I love being right.

7:45 p.m. — Home from my final session. I am starving. M. brought me an eggplant parmesan sandwich. He is an angel. I eat half with rice chips and water. We are supposed to do a strength workout but I’m so tired. I work on notes in bed, but fall asleep at some point.

Daily Total: $0

Day Five: Friday

1 a.m. — Wake up. M. has tucked me in, put away my computer, and turned the lights off. I brush my teeth and go back to sleep.

7 a.m. — Awake for real. Emails, coffee, water. M. and I check in about the weekend. We are having a water tap error on our dishwasher. I have already replaced all the hosing and the air gap so we need to replace the seal. I try to close the dishwasher at the correct angle several times before admitting defeat and hand washing.

9:45 a.m. — Head to kickboxing. I go grocery shopping after because I need peanut butter. I get strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, bell peppers, vegan corn dogs, dried beans, jalapenos, blue cheese, and peanut butter. $45.46

11:30 a.m. — Home and make cookie dough and start sourdough bread. I am making miso peanut butter and gochujang sugar cookies. I eat a “corndog” and all three berry types. The afternoon is a rotation of reports, emails, meetings, and stretch and pulls.

6:45 p.m. — I have baked the cookies. I don’t know if I like the peanut butter miso. This is very sad. They are very pretty cookies. We head to our friend’s house. M. brings lots of Passover snacks. We watch questionable movies and eat more questionable snacks, including durian Pocky. I like it. M. hates it.

11:30 p.m. — Arrive home. I am starving and finish the rice and broccolini with chili crisp. Brush teeth and immediately to bed.

Daily Total: $45.46

Day Six: Saturday

6:30 a.m. — I get up and shape the bread. I am making one jalapeno cheddar, two plain, and one cinnamon walnut. I spend the morning cleaning and fixing the dishwasher successfully.

12 p.m. — I have a medieval king lunch of cheese, nuts, and fruit. I catch up on a bit of work and start baking the breads. We have a friend’s dog for most of the day and M. takes them on a long adventure.

3 p.m. — M. and I leave on a bike ride to drop off bread to several friends. Two of my friends just had babies so we do porch drop-offs until the babies are old enough to start getting vaccinated. The bike lanes are pretty abysmal along our routes.

5 p.m. — Final bread drop off and we decide to get Vietnamese food with this friend. She is also an OT and a lovely human being. S. (our friend) gets a vermicelli bowl, she and M. split wings, and M. and I both get pho and bahn mis. M. pays for all of us but I would guess it was a hundred something. We take most of the wings and the bahn mis to go to eat later.

7 p.m. — It is getting dark and we didn’t bring lights so we light rail to a more protected route. I pay for both. $6

8:30 p.m. — Home safe. M. takes the dog out and I take a hot shower. We chat and hang out until bed once he’s back.

Daily Total: $6

Day Seven: Sunday

10 a.m. — I sleep in. I got woken up multiple times; the church next to us started services at 2 a.m. I am irritated because I wanted to run this morning and this cuts into it. Coffee, water, straighten up, and prepare for the day, which includes making croutons and grabbing stuff for mutual aid.

12:30 p.m. — M. and I head out to meet friends for coffee. We were supposed to be individually meeting our best friends but combined it into one meeting. I pay for coffee for my friend A. (cold brew), M. (cortado and raspberry oat bar), and me (matcha latte). M.’s friend hasn’t arrived yet so I’m not just blatantly not paying for him. Tip 22% because 20% is not an option. $20.76

2:30 p.m. — Hang out at the coffee shop and then go try to get our brows threaded. I appreciate having men in my life who aren’t so caught up in toxic masculinity. The wait is super long so we end up not going. M. takes a power nap in the car.

3:30 p.m. — Head to mutual aid. M. and A. offer food and support to RVs and I man the hot drinks. We also have food, water, Gatorade, medical supplies, and harm reduction. I venmo A. $20 for my part of the Gatorade (the coffee wasn’t enough). The rain and wind are picking up and I am getting puffs of cocoa powder on my hands as I make drinks. $20

4:45 p.m. — Head home. We listen to Amy Poehler’s podcast on the drive back. M. does dog duty and I put together a panzanella with three kinds of tomatoes, cucumbers, pickled red onions, and the croutons I made this morning.

5:30 p.m. — Pick up some friends and head to a third’s for dinner. We eat an Ecuadorian Easter soup, panzanella, pea vine salad, various meats and scallops (that I don’t eat), yucca, and the most beautiful pavlova I’ve seen. Wine, cocktails, espresso, and political discourse flow and before we know it it’s nearly midnight and we need to say our goodbyes, take dishes and borrowed books, and head home.

Daily Total: $40.76

The Breakdown

Conclusion

“This feels like a relatively representative week for me and matches well what I value, food, friends, and supporting others. I would say it’s actually low on food spending. We really value nice groceries and spend a lot at Costco. M. also covered more of my meals than is typical (we try to trade off more). I read the diary to him and he commented that he looked good for that. I got annoyed at my debt after writing this and paid off the rest of my loans with my next paycheck. My biggest reflection is more how poor my sleep hygiene is, especially as a therapist and it’s something I’m working on. While grad school was a huge burden and I feel behind, I’ve been really lucky to have a supportive partner and generally good health and make up for lost time. It was a fun exercise overall. I am excited to see how things change without the burden of loans.”

Money Diaries are meant to reflect an individual’s experience and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29’s point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.

The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more Money Diaries, click here.

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A Week In Denver On A $36,000 Salary

A Week In Houston, TX On A $170,000 Joint Income

A Week In Seattle On A $377,000 Household Income

Breakups are hard, but what comes after is harder. The heart-in-your-throat sadness, denial in the form of scrolling past their story like you didn’t already watch it three times (six if you count the times you told your friends to stalk their page), and the sporadic bursts of anger looking back at past conversations. Finally, there’s acceptance. And for a lot of Black women, healing often means change, and that usually starts at our roots with a hair transformation.

The breakup hair change is more than a cliché. For Black women, it’s a ritual. A reset. A quiet rebellion. Whether it’s a buzz cut, blonde box braids, a fresh silk press, or a full return to natural kinks and coils, the post-breakup hair transformation says more than any goodbye text ever could.

Hair has always been loaded for Black women; it’s political, personal, and oftentimes policed. So it makes sense that in moments of emotional chaos, we turn to it for clarity. Changing our hair isn’t just about aesthetics, it’s about healing. 

Unbothered has explored the intimate connections between breakups and hair transformations through the lens of Black womanhood. We hear from Black women about the choices they made after breakups — the drastic cuts, the color changes, the protective styles — and what those choices meant. Some wanted to shed the version of themselves that was in the relationship. Others wanted to feel seen again. For many, it was simply about starting fresh, and there’s something undeniably Black about turning heartache into a beauty statement you have complete ownership of. Because sometimes, the most revolutionary thing a Black woman can do after heartbreak is decide who she wants to be next.

Lydia, 27, London: “Dyeing my hair made me feel daring.”

Lydia’s breakup had forced her to confront something bigger: how little she had been willing to settle for. “I realized I was waiting to be chosen instead of choosing myself,” she says. That clarity sparked a chain of events. She quit her job, applied for a teaching role abroad, and moved to Thailand—all within weeks. “That hairstyle became symbolic of a whole new chapter.”

“I just didn’t want to look at how I was feeling,” says Lydia, reflecting on the moment she walked out of the short but emotionally significant relationship. Instead of spiraling, she booked an appointment and chose something she’d never done before, long, burgundy soft locs.

“It was my first time getting that style and going that color,” she says. “It made me feel cute. It made me feel good, like new hair, who this?”. Lydia wanted to feel like herself again because she says she was beginning to look unfamiliar. “I’d been living safely, comfortably. But dyeing my hair that color made me feel daring. I was finally doing something I’d only talked about.”

For Lydia, the hair came first, but the woman who emerged after was completely transformed.

Tahirah, 34, Brooklyn, New York: “Cutting my hair was the most empowering thing to do.”

“I just went balls to the walls, full Britney Spears buzz cut because it was the easiest thing for me to do at the moment,” says Tahirah.

After a painful six-year relationship that was a huge part of her youth, Tahirah found peace in the impulsive decision to cut her hair late at night with a pair of red scissors. “I was feeling really insecure and neglected… cutting my hair was the most empowering thing to do.”

For her, the buzz cut was about regaining control over her life. “Cutting my hair and going into that buzz cut moment was allowing me to have visibility,” she explains, highlighting how her identity as a Black woman shaped her relationship with her hair. “My beauty is not defined just by my hair; it’s about my aura, how I choose to show up.”

Through her cut, she gained renewed confidence, attracting both new opportunities and compliments. “I felt power. It was a moment of release, but also a power move for me. I didn’t care about the hair because it always grows back,” says Tahirah. This candid reflection highlights how, for most Black women, hair is deeply intertwined with their identity and, in some cases, defines who they are, shaping how they are seen, understood, and received by the world.

Remi, 31, Milton Keynes: “Red is loud and signifies a new chapter.”

“Red is loud,” says Remi, staring into the camera during our video chat, “but it was also me playing it safe because red was the only color that my hair had ever been when I was younger, other than my natural hair color.” She hadn’t worn the color since her early twenties, a time when she was a freer and more joyful version of herself. After a major breakup in her late twenties, she returned to the familiar deep red to signal a new chapter.

 It was more than just color; she opted for a leave-out weave, a drastic shift after years of wearing braids. The color “reminded me of a time in my life where I just enjoyed my experience and the things that I was doing and the way that I was living,” says Remi.

Everyone processes a breakup differently; some burrow into deep, dark depression, and some snap out of it in the blink of an eye, like the relationship never happened. For Remi, it wasn’t only the hair change that helped her move through her emotions, but writing about it was also an unexpected emotional release. She surprised herself by writing and sharing a deeply personal project called Crying Over Breakfast on her Instagram.

Split into three parts —heartbreak, hurting, healing— the series gave her space to reflect on the relationship, her emotions, and her growth. “The heartbreak was very raw and very honest and very unfiltered. And then the hurting was more me settling into where I was at, based on what had happened. Not so much the impulsive like being upset, but  just sorting through the whole relationship and everything that happened, and then the healing part was just focused on, okay, what was I doing to heal myself?”

Her hair change was just one piece of healing. She also focused on trying new foods, going out with her friends, and going to art galleries. The weave and red color marked a change, not because they were new, but because she chose them for herself.

Ray, 32, London: “My blonde bob has brought a different energy.”

Ray had locs for five or six years; they were a part of her identity, but they carried the energy of two major relationships. Following the end of her most recent one, she felt the weight of what hadn’t been processed. “Your hair carries energy,” she explained, “and I knew I needed to do something.”

With the help of her mother, Ray spent three daunting days carefully unraveling over a hundred locs. Each strand unwound like a thread from the past, the process becoming both ritual and release. “It was a labour of love,” she said, thinking back on the memory. Funnily enough, this exact process was spoken into existence by her ex-boyfriend’s mother. “She’s been trying to get me to brush out my hair because we broke up,” says Ray. “She’s very spiritual and she’s always like, you need to go into your next stage of life, and this will be great for your mental health.”

Locs are a serious commitment; they take time and care, they’re not something you choose to start lightly. So, what does a woman who had them for over five years choose as her next hairstyle post-breakup? A custom blonde bob wig, that’s what. “I’m a Bob girl,” Ray says with a smile. “It commands respect. And I needed to remember I was the planet, not the moon.” This was significant because she had shared that she had made her ex-boyfriend her entire planet, forgetting she could be one herself.

The blonde wig was Monroe-esque and glamorous. “I felt fully in alignment. That blonde bob brought a different type of energy, attention, and confidence.”

Ray’s hair transformation mirrored her emotional one. Post-breakup, it wasn’t just about changing her look — it was about a complete return to form.

Nuna, 32, London: “Shaving my hair off was like, you can’t tell me anything anymore.”

Fresh off a year abroad in Toronto, 22-year-old Nuna returns home to London reeling from her first serious relationship. A toxic on-and-off two-year experience that left her feeling lost. The breakup prompted a dramatic change where she shaved her head completely. “I went down to the skin, it wasn’t even a pixie,” says Nuna. This act wasn’t just about aesthetics; it marked a turning point in how she saw herself.

“I grew up in Peterborough, which is predominantly white. I remember going to my friend’s houses after school, and they’d do my hair, and it never looked right.” Nuna often mimicked European beauty standards, straightening her hair excessively and relying on damaging slick-backs. In her relationship, this cycle of trying to fit a specific look persisted due to her partner’s critical comments. “I was constantly trying to look how he wanted me to,” she says. “Shaving it off was like — you can’t tell me anything anymore.”

The haircut was a gateway to self-discovery. She began experimenting with wigs and even learned to make her own after a disappointing salon experience. “I was spending £400 on bad wigs. I had to learn to do it myself,” she explains. Over time, this led her back to protective styles like braids and a deeper understanding of her hair.

Now in her early 30s, she reflects on the haircut as a pivotal step. “It didn’t solve everything, but it started something,” she says. For her, the big chop was both an act of release and reclamation — a way to cut ties with damaging ideals and step into a more authentic version of herself.

Tolu, 32, Walthamstow, UK: “The mullet is a symbol of my freedom.”

“I just felt relieved,” says Tolu, remembering how a blonde mullet wig unexpectedly became her post-breakup armour. The relationship had run its course, and while the end wasn’t devastating, the transition still called for change. While many would expect heartbreak to bring on tears, Tolu’s reaction was the opposite. “I really didn’t give a fuck. I was so happy it was over.” The mullet was a symbol of freedom. “It felt like coming back to myself,” says Tolu.

Having always used hair as a form of expression, she wasn’t new to switching up her style, but this was different. The wig was unlike anything she’d worn before. It was short, in your face, blonde, and defied the age-old myth that dark-skinned women “can’t pull off blonde.” She could, and she did. “It just marked the end of something and the beginning of something else,” says Tolu reflectively.

Though she rarely wears the wig now, what it represents still holds weight. “I don’t hate it, but it sits in a weird space of time. It reminds me of the past,” says Tolu. The wig wasn’t about reinvention; it was about alignment. She didn’t need to reclaim agency; she already had it. The mullet simply echoed what she already knew, she was ready to move on — and she did.

Liz, 26, Manchester, UK: “I needed to let go.”

After ending a toxic relationship, Liz bravely chose to cut off her hair completely. “Hair holds a lot of energy,” she says. “I needed to get rid of it.” The breakup coincided with a move back to Manchester, and the timing felt right to start over. “I’d been neglecting my hair for so long. Letting go of the hair was like letting go of something that no longer felt like me,” says Liz.  She was 22 when she met her ex and 25 when the relationship ended.

Sitting in the barber’s chair, she felt lighter spiritually and emotionally. “It was one less thing to think about while moving on.” We met in the middle of lockdown, and over those two and a half years, I grew up fast. Mentally, I changed so much. Leaving felt like a Phoenix-rising moment,  like I was finally coming back to myself,” says Liz.

As a Black woman, the decision to cut her hair came with extra scrutiny. “People asked what my boyfriend would think. I didn’t have one anymore—wasn’t that the point?” she says. Her hair had always felt like a performance. She relaxed it to fit in, braided it during the natural hair wave, and even wore wigs, though she hated wearing them. Now, for the first time since childhood, she’s growing her hair naturally and learning how to care for it without trends dictating her choices.

Her relationship with her hair mirrored her relationship with herself; both had suffered. “I wasn’t eating or sleeping well. My hair was fucked. I wasn’t happy.” Shaving off her hair put the power back into her hands. “Everything felt out of control, but this one thing was mine.”

Romana, 30, Birmingham, UK: “Cutting my hair was like a spiritual purge.” 

Two weeks after her breakup, Ramona walked into her hairdresser’s salon and asked for the chop. Not a trim, not a bob. A full reset. “I wanted to shave it all off and do a proper Britney Spears,” she says, half-joking, “but I thought that might be a bit too radical.” Instead, she opted for a shaved-back bowl cut.

The decision wasn’t spontaneous – she’d been thinking about cutting her hair for over a year. But it took the unraveling of her relationship to make the move. “I didn’t lose myself,” she says. “I betrayed myself.”

Cutting her hair felt like “a spiritual purge”, says Ramona. “There was so much trapped in it that I needed to let go of it”.  Watching her hair fall was scary and safe all at once. The terror that settled in while she was in the hairdresser’s chair shifted and made space for newness.

Post-breakup, she looked in the mirror and saw a version of herself that felt powerful. The haircut didn’t give her confidence; it revealed it. “Hair grows back,” she says. “You can start over as many times as you need to. There are no rules.”

This article was originally published on Unbothered UK

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Trigger warning: The article discusses rape, sexual violence, assault and harassment. 

Alex Cooper, of the Call Her Daddy podcast, recently alleged in her new documentary, Call Her Alex, that she was the victim of sexual harassment during her time at university, at the hands of her soccer coach. The coach, being a woman, would interrogate Cooper about her sex life, her relationships, repeatedly instigate moments so that they’d be alone, and would comment on her looks, Cooper claimed. Since then, other women have come forward about sexually inappropriate behaviour that took place within that same soccer team, again with the abuse allegedly happening at the hands of a (different) woman. Boston University will now conduct an external review into the claims, all these years on. If the idea of a woman being a predator is difficult to swallow, think again. There are plenty of reasons these stories rarely come to light. A small study sample used for research on female-perpetrated sexual violence found that often people don’t disclose what’s happened to them, and they struggle to label it as sexual assault until retrospect kicks in.

When women report acts of rape, assault and harassment, most times, we’re talking about male perpetrators. Although the statistics show men are far more likely to incite this kind of violence than women, that doesn’t mean women aren’t assaulting women.

By outdated definition, rape involves a penis. As a lesbian who experienced rape by another woman while at university, Harriet* (name changed to protect identity), 28, struggled to make sense of what happened to her. It was only seven years later that she felt able to call it what it was. The fact that a woman that had done this to her left Harriet confused as to how to define it. “I was 18 and having the time of my life, getting drunk, partying and having too much fun. There was a girl on my course who was a little bit older than me. We flirted from time to time and had kissed on a night out, but that was it really,” says Harriet. “One night we bumped into each other at the bar on campus and spent the evening hanging out, drinking and eventually making out.” The bar closed so they went back to one of their flats. “I hadn’t been there long before I passed out from being too drunk,” continues Harriet. “I had laid down on her bed fully dressed, with everything fastened correctly but when I woke up my top was lifted and my trousers were unzipped and the waistband of my pants was twisted, like someone had tried to pull them up. My vagina also ached internally. When I realized, immediately I felt gross and very anxious but also very conflicted. In my heart I knew something wrong had happened, but she’d always seemed so sweet and gentle, so I tried to persuade myself that this was okay, that she wouldn’t do anything violent toward me.”

For the next three years, Harriet had to see this woman frequently. “She was always friendly and acted like nothing had happened,” she says. “If she had violated me, surely she wouldn’t be acting like this? This happened 10 years ago, then last month she sent me a friend request on Facebook.” Harriet only processed what had happened to her three years ago while in therapy after struggling with disassociating during sex, something that began, she was able to pinpoint, after that act of violation. “My therapist affirmed I had been raped, which in a strange way was comforting to name it but also completely horrifying. I’d never named it that, mainly because she was a woman, but I was penetrated without consent within the framework of how I have sex as a lesbian, so what else could it be?” Even so, Harriet still sometimes feels as though the word “doesn’t belong” to her. She still gets heart palpitations. “I make myself believe that she didn’t realize she’d raped me, because how could she when she’d looked me in the eye and smiled in my face for the three years afterwards? When she seemed a bit confused when I withdrew from her? But when the delusion thins, I do get flickers of rage.” It took Harriet many years to tell people what she experienced, including her wife. She was afraid that friends might minimize her experience because her abuser didn’t fit the classic profile associated with these crimes. “She’s quite petite, smiley, knew lots of people… she didn’t give off the vibe that this would ever be something she’d be capable of.”

In 2023, a Springer Nature journal published a piece focused on the Republic of Ireland, in which researchers wrote: “Female-perpetrated sexual assault is under-represented in sexual assault research, and indeed possibly an underreported crime.” Of those studied to inform this research, many knew their attacker already. They might have even been friends. This is common in cases of male-perpetrated sexual violence, too.

When rape or sexual assault happen at the hands of a woman, it can be very disorientating for the victim. Ana Flores Reis, a therapist specializing in trauma and abuse, says gendered assumptions can play a huge role in how someone might process their assault. “Most dominant cultural narratives frame men as perpetrators and women as victims, and while this reflects the majority of cases, it leaves little room for alternative experiences,” she explains. “As a result, when women do perpetrate abuse, their actions are often minimized, dismissed, or reframed as less harmful, playful, or even flattering. These reactions are rooted in gendered assumptions about harm, power, and agency in sexual violence.” Victims can end up isolated, holding the belief that what happened “doesn’t count”, Reis adds. “Many may internally minimize the abuse because it doesn’t match mainstream representations of sexual violence. In LGBTQ+ contexts, this can be further complicated by concerns about reinforcing harmful stereotypes or being disbelieved within one’s own community.”

When someone’s experience of sexual assault isn’t validated for years, there are many ways it can play out. It can affect their mental health, how they view the event and themselves. Possible outcomes include internalized doubt, shame, compounded trauma, low self-trust and worth, depression, grief, dissociation and anxiety. This goes no matter who perpetrated the crime. However, imagine coming to terms with not only what happened, but the added confusion of processing who enacted this.

Of the limited research out there on female-perpetrated sexual violence, much of it references child abuse. Frankie* (real name withheld), 36, from Northern Ireland, experienced this at the hands of her aunt, aged four to 10. Her aunt was around the age of 18 at the time. When acts of sexual assault were instigated, her aunt would refer to it as “playing that game”, which involved being touched and kissed. Frankie didn’t realize what exactly happened to her until her teenage years, when she confided in a friend who had also experienced child sex abuse. “It made me question my sexuality as a teenager, not in that I was attracted to women, but because a woman had done this to me,” says Frankie, who is heterosexual. “It made me have a lot less respect for myself with sex. I definitely slept with a lot more people than I would have liked to through university. I think a lot of that was almost like for me to try and reclaim it for myself.” Frankie also went on to experience sexual assault at the hands of men, because her perception of “normal” had been skewed before even understanding sex. She at one point joined a sugar daddy dating app and was having sex for money, because sex had such little personal and psychological value to her at that point in time.

“I feel annoyed that she would never be assumed to be a perpetrator,” Frankie says. When she told her parents what had happened, she wondered if her mum would have been more sympathetic had it been her uncle instead of her aunt. Her dad was more sympathetic and still wants her to go to the police about what happened, but for Frankie, “there is still that shame attached to it, I think, because it is a woman.” She isn’t confident she’d be taken seriously.

Public perceptions of sexual violence go completely against what these women describe. Sherianne Kramer, PhD, author of Female-Perpetrated Sex Abuse, says we implicitly are taught that men are aggressors. As a result, “a lot of people who are victimized by women don’t necessarily see it as sexual”. When Kramer started researching in this field in 2008, there were only 14 articles on the subject worldwide. Although much of that research claims that 1-8% of sexual violence cases are perpetrated by women, Kramer believes it’s closer to 25%. “It’s very difficult for people to fathom a raping woman,” she says. “I’ve worked with people who were victims of both male and female-perpetrated sexual violence and they tended to report the male sex abusers rather than the female ones.” This was because people didn’t have the language for what had happened when it was done by a woman, and they feared police wouldn’t believe them. “The system validates that feeling,” says Kramer, “because of those [that I worked with] who did report it, the police laughed and said that wasn’t possible.”

Kramer had spent some time working in correction facilities in South Africa between 2009 to 2016, and what she witnessed there reinforced how widespread these attitudes are. When women were there for sex crimes, they were often given “gender realignment therapy”, because the act of committing rape was unwomanly. Instead of targetting the issue of sexual violence, the system works within the constructs of gender, “invisibilizing the possibility for women to be sexually violent.” There’s this idea Kramer has witnessed that if you experience sexual violence at the hands of a woman, it can’t be anywhere near as damaging as having experienced it by a man. The repercussions can deeply impact a person’s psychological wellbeing. “Once someone is abused sexually, it is likely to happen again,” Kramer adds, which is why it’s so vital that people who go through it at the hands of a woman are validated and understand the reality of what’s taken place.

“It’s really important to me that we talk about sexual violence as something that can happen to anyone by anyone — anyone can hurt anyone else using sex as a mechanism. That way, no victims get left out,” says Kramer. That is the very least we should be taking away from the conversations Cooper’s documentary has sparked. We owe it to all the women whose experience of sexual violence happened to be instigated by another woman.

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

If you have experienced sexual violence of any kind, please visit RAINN.

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This is the week we say goodbye to Cancer season’s tender tides and step boldly into Leo’s blazing light. The sun shifts into Leo on July 22nd at 9:29 a.m. EST, and two days later, the Leo New Moon hits on July 24th at 3:11 p.m. EST. That’s a lot of fire. And while Leo energy is often focused on the self, self-expression, self-celebration, self-love, it’s arriving at a moment in history when the world is screaming for collective attention. Pluto in Aquarius is watching. The tension between the self and the system is real. We’re seeing injustice unfolding everywhere — from Congo to Haiti to Palestine to the United States and its brutal immigration and incarceration practices — and the question becomes: how do I stay connected to my truth while staying plugged into the world around me?

This week, the answer isn’t to turn away, but to choose one thing you can act on. Leo reminds us that courage is personal. That leadership begins inside. So whether it’s posting about a cause you’ve been too afraid to speak on, signing a petition, organizing a fundraiser, confronting your boss, correcting your friend, or saying no to someone abusing their power… this week is about showing up where it matters most to you. You don’t have to do it all. You’re not meant to fix everything. But silence is no longer an option. Not in this Leo season. Not while Mercury is retrograde in Leo and Pluto is dismantling old systems in Aquarius. You want change? Be the spark. Speak up. Say the thing. Start the shift.

The first half of the week is the dark of the moon, and with that comes a heaviness. Not just emotionally, but cosmically. We see the shadows more clearly now: In ourselves, in society, in each other. The urge to be loud, to be right, to be “seen” might feel amplified, but check yourself. Is it ego, or is it impact? Leo Season isn’t about proving. It’s about embodying. Especially with Mercury retrograde already in full swing, this is not the time to call people out just to feel powerful. This is a time to call yourself in. How are you showing up in conversations, in care, in conflict? Don’t forget, we just left Cancer Season. That softness still lives in your body, so bring it with you. Don’t let Leo’s fire turn you rigid. Let it turn you radiant.

By the time the Leo New Moon arrives on the 24th, the second half of the week becomes fertile ground for visioning and rebirth. This lunation is your invitation to get bold, get real, and get unapologetically loud about what you want to create, in your life, your art, your relationships, your platform. Leo governs the heart, so ask yourself: What has your heart been trying to say all year that your mind has silenced? This is your time to bring it to the surface. Whether it’s a creative project you’ve buried, a dream career you’ve feared pursuing, or a part of yourself you’ve dimmed to make others more comfortable. Let it out. Let it shine. Mercury retrograde in Leo isn’t blocking your power, it’s helping you remember the parts of yourself you’ve been postponing for years. This next six-month cycle could change your life if you let your joy lead.

Read your horoscopes for your Sun and Rising signs for the most in-depth forecast.

Aries Sun & Rising:

Aries, this week starts with a humbling pause that you didn’t ask for, but you probably needed. With the dark of the moon creeping through your fellow fire sign Leo, your sector of creativity, romance, and inner child is activated, and not in a fireworks way. It might feel like your usual zest is dimmed or redirected inward, like you’re questioning what (or who) actually sparks your joy. Maybe a project you were once obsessed with suddenly feels stale. Maybe you’re side-eyeing your current situationship like, “Wait… is this even fun anymore?” That’s the Leo shadow: craving to be seen or validated, but unsure if you’re even aligned with your own desires. Don’t freak out. This phase is here to help you reflect on what you’ve been pretending to enjoy versus what your heart is actually craving. And the beauty of this contrast? By Thursday, when the Leo new moon lands, you’re reborn, not in some dramatic, phoenix-from-the-flames kind of way (okay, maybe a little), but in a way that reminds you what passion feels like when it’s real and yours.

Once the Leo New Moon strikes on July 24th, it’s go time, but it’s not about the hustle. It’s about the heart. This is your moment to set intentions around what lights you up from the inside out. You’re done creating for clout or chasing people who don’t reciprocate your fire. Mercury’s retrograde in this same sector is your cosmic cue to slow down and fine-tune what you want to say, make, love, and share. Be bold about your artistry. Let your romantic standards rise. Redefine what joy looks like for you and make sure it’s not performative. This isn’t about returning to the old you. It’s about getting clearer on the true you that’s always been trying to emerge beneath the noise. Your creativity, your pleasure, your voice? They deserve a front-row seat in your life now.

Taurus Sun & Rising:

Taurus, Leo Season has officially entered the chat, lighting up your sector of home, roots, and emotional safety. But before you start romanticizing a full-blown nesting era, the week begins with the dark of the moon in this same sector, asking you to confront the shadows that linger behind the walls you’ve built, literal or emotional. You might feel unusually introverted or moody, suddenly second-guessing where you feel most safe and who feels like “home.” That’s not a sign that something’s wrong; it’s a sign that something’s ready to evolve. Are you holding on to outdated family dynamics or ways of caretaking that drain you more than they fill you? This is your pause. Let yourself feel all of it. And as the Leo new moon approaches, a new vision of what safety looks and feels like will start to emerge, one built around you, not obligation.

Once the Leo New Moon lands on the 24th, the energy shifts from emotional fog to intuitive clarity. This is your cue to set intentions around your living space, family relationships, and what belonging really means. With Mercury also retrograde in Leo, don’t rush to fix or change everything. Instead, revisit past patterns and ask, “What am I recreating out of habit, and what am I consciously choosing?” Maybe it’s time to reimagine your home environment, heal ancestral wounds, or finally prioritize rest without guilt. Your inner world is getting a whole glow up, Taurus, just make sure your nervous system is leading the way.

Gemini Sun & Rising:

Gemini, Leo Season’s arrival turns your focus to communication, curiosity, and expression. All the things that make you feel most alive. But the week kicks off with the dark of the moon in this sector, and instead of being your usual bubbly, quick-witted self, you might feel like you’ve momentarily lost your voice or like no one’s really hearing you. Don’t panic. This shadow phase is teaching you how to listen… to others, sure, but mostly to yourself. What truths have you been glossing over or leaving unsaid? Is your mind moving faster than your spirit can follow? Slow it down. This is a divine reset for your nervous system. It’s also a reminder: you don’t have to share every thought to be valid. Sometimes, the most important conversations happen in silence — or in your journal.

When the Leo New Moon rises on the 24th, it brings with it a fresh wave of mental clarity and inspiration. If you’ve been wanting to write something, launch something, or finally speak your truth, this is the moon to plant those seeds. Just remember: with Mercury retrograde in Leo too, the goal isn’t perfection, it’s alignment. Double-check details. Reflect on past ideas you abandoned too soon. Reclaim your voice, not for applause, but because you’ve got something real to say. You don’t need a viral moment to be impactful. You just need to speak with intention, from the heart.

Cancer Sun & Rising:

Cancer, Leo Season is here to remind you of your worth. But before you go manifesting new income streams or flexing your talents, the week begins with the dark of the moon in your sector of self-worth and security. This might bring up some “Am I enough?” type thoughts, or feelings of comparison, especially if you’ve been hustling without seeing immediate rewards. Take a breath. This phase is here to help you shed the false narratives that make you undervalue yourself. What are you doing just for external validation? What would it feel like to root your confidence in being instead of constantly doing? These are the questions to sit with as the Leo new moon approaches. Let the doubts come. They’re not the truth, just outdated echoes.

By the time the Leo New Moon strikes on the 24th, you’re being asked to reset your entire money mindset. Yes, this lunation can bring financial opportunities, but more importantly, it invites you to claim your inherent abundance, the kind that starts from within. Mercury retrograde is also in this zone, which means money convos, contracts, and career pivots require extra discernment. Don’t rush… Reflect. What past idea or talent are you ready to monetize on your own terms now? This is your chance to build a new relationship with value: Yours, and the value you offer to the world. You don’t have to prove anything, Cancer. You are the proof.

Leo Sun & Rising:

Leo, welcome to your season. There’s so much to celebrate: your solar return, a new moon in your sign, a chance to step fully into your main character moment. But first, you’ve got to wade through the shadows. The week kicks off with the dark of the moon in Leo, meaning your sector of identity and self-image is up for review. You might feel more insecure than expected or even question your path, don’t gaslight yourself into ignoring it. This is your annual ego cleanse. Let the doubts surface. Ask yourself: are you embodying the real you, or are you still playing a role someone else cast you in? This quiet before the new moon is sacred. Let it soften you. Let it strip away what isn’t aligned. That’s how your radiance gets real.

Once the Leo New Moon hits on the 24th, it’s your time to plant seeds for the next six months of personal evolution. Who do you want to be, Leo? Not for the ‘Gram, not for your family, but for you? With Mercury retrograde also in your sign, it’s a perfect moment to reclaim pieces of yourself you left behind. Maybe a creative dream, a relationship with your younger self, or simply the confidence to say what you mean. You don’t have to shout to be seen. You just have to show up as yourself, fully, unapologetically, even when you’re unsure. This is your cosmic birthday wish. Make it count.

Virgo Sun & Rising:

Virgo, Leo Season is your deep retreat zone, and honestly, you’re not mad about it. You’ve been doing the most for others lately, and the stars are now giving you full permission to opt out, out of social obligations, of toxic cycles, of overthinking. But the week starts with the dark of the moon in this very sector of solitude and healing, so you might feel an eerie mix of peace and discomfort. Maybe old memories creep in, or dreams get weirdly intense. That’s the shadow work kicking in. You’re not broken, Virgo, you’re just finally slowing down enough to feel. Let it come. Let it pass. This isn’t about isolation; it’s about regeneration. And by the time the Leo new moon arrives, you’ll know exactly what your spirit needs to be replenished.

The Leo New Moon on the 24th invites you to set sacred intentions behind the scenes. This isn’t about making big announcements. It’s about choosing silence as a strategy, rest as rebellion. Your ruler Mercury is retrograde in Leo too, helping you untangle past karma, past wounds, and past dreams you maybe filed away as “impractical.” What if they’re not? What if this new moon is the reset button your soul has been whispering for? Start small: a new meditation practice, better sleep habits, or simply forgiving yourself for what didn’t work out. You don’t need to figure it all out. You just need to trust the quiet voice inside… it’s louder than you think.

Libra Sun & Rising:

This week begins with a call for discernment, Libra. Leo Season has officially arrived, activating your sector of friendships, social networks, and collective causes. But as the dark of the moon lingers in this same area, it may stir some unspoken tensions or illuminate where you’ve been pouring into others without being replenished. You may start questioning who actually sees you, supports you, or even knows the real you. That clarity might feel unsettling at first, especially for someone as harmony-driven as you, but it’s also empowering. Trust what’s revealed in the quiet moments. You’re clearing space for more reciprocal relationships and truer community ties. Not the performance of connection, but the real thing.

Then comes the glow-up. The Leo New Moon on July 24th brings a surge of radiant, magnetic energy that helps you attract the kinds of friendships, collaborators, and dreams that align with your next era. This is a powerful time to plant seeds for long-term visions — especially ones that uplift others and bring people together around shared values. But with Mercury still retrograde, don’t rush to send invites or make grand declarations just yet. Let this week be about inner alignment before outward expansion. If you’ve been dreaming about joining or starting a movement, this new moon whispers: start small, start from the heart. You don’t need a massive audience to create massive impact.

Scorpio Sun & Rising:

Scorpio, Leo Season begins this week, meaning it’s your time to shine, especially professionally. It activates your sector of career, public reputation, and long-term purpose. But the week begins with the dark of the moon in Leo, and that might hit a little differently. You could feel burned out, disillusioned, or unclear about why you’re pursuing what you’re pursuing. Are you building this life for yourself, or for the applause? Pride, pressure, and ego wounds might all bubble up, especially if you’ve been hiding behind your work or achievements. This is your midyear checkpoint. You’re allowed to ask, “Is this still what I want?” and be honest with yourself if the answer has changed. Even ambition needs rebalancing.

Once the Leo New Moon strikes on July 24th, clarity comes rushing in. You might have a sudden realization about a project, purpose, or pivot you’re ready to claim. And while Mercury’s retrograde means the rollout might be slow, don’t underestimate the potency of your ideas. This is a perfect time to revise your website, realign your goals, or take a social media sabbatical to tune out noise and tune into truth. You don’t have to grind for the title or push for visibility, the recognition will come naturally when you’re acting from purpose. This lunation supports you in defining success on your own terms, not society’s.

Sagittarius Sun & Rising:

Welcome to Leo Season, Sag! The sun in Leo is hitting your sector of expansion, adventure, and higher learning. But with the dark of the moon happening in this same area, things may feel less like a road trip and more like a delayed departure. You might be questioning your beliefs, doubting your path, or wondering why that “next level” still feels out of reach. That’s okay. You’re recalibrating what freedom really means to you. Is it about running away from responsibilities? Or about building a life that reflects your soul’s actual truth? Give yourself room to revise your philosophies, and know that doubts are part of growth, not signs of failure.

The Leo New Moon on July 24th reignites your fire. You may feel a pull to enroll in a course, plan an international trip, start writing a book, or speak your truth more boldly. This lunation is here to remind you: the world is still wide, and it still wants you in it. That said, Mercury’s retrograde cautions you to double-check your itineraries, revisit old passions before diving into new ones, and most importantly, trust divine timing. You’re not behind — you’re re-aligning. Set new moon intentions this week that reflect your evolving beliefs, and let your desire to learn and grow lead the way.

Capricorn Sun & Rising:

Capricorn, Leo Season is here, activating your sector of intimacy, transformation, and shared resources. And this week’s dark moon in Leo asks you to sit with what’s been hard to admit. Maybe it’s the control you’ve tried to maintain in relationships. Maybe it’s financial fears you haven’t spoken aloud. Or maybe it’s grief, slow-burning and unprocessed, that’s surfacing now. The dark of the moon reveals the hidden contracts you’ve been upholding: the silent deals, the power dynamics, the fears you keep tucked away. But here’s the truth, you don’t have to carry it all alone. This week is an invitation to unburden, reflect, and reclaim your energy.

And then the Leo New Moon on July 24th turns the page. Think of it as an energetic inheritance: the ability to release what’s no longer working and invest in deeper, more nourishing bonds. Whether it’s with a partner, collaborator, or your own self, this lunation supports rebuilding trust, sexual healing, and financial regeneration. Yes, Mercury is still retrograde, so contracts and shared money matters require caution, but the emotional clarity is undeniable. You don’t need to do everything “perfectly” to receive abundance. You just need to know that you’re worthy of it. Let this new moon be your moment of soft power: deep, quiet, and lasting.

Aquarius Sun & Rising:

Aquarius, Leo Season highlights your sector of partnerships, and while that might sound romantic, the dark of the moon in this same area might feel more like a reckoning than a honeymoon. You’re seeing patterns in your relationships: where you overcompensate, where you avoid confrontation, where you compromise too much or not at all. This isn’t about blame; it’s about noticing. With Pluto in your sign, transformation is already underway, and this dark moon asks: are you bringing your full self to your connections, or a curated version of you? Let the emotional discomfort guide you, not to run, but to recalibrate.

The Leo New Moon on July 24th offers a chance to rewrite your relationship stories. Whether single, dating, or partnered, this is your time to decide what kind of connections you want moving forward, and what you’re willing to do (or stop doing) to cultivate them. This isn’t about perfection or performance; it’s about showing up with honesty. With Mercury still retrograde, miscommunications are likely, so slow your roll, clarify intentions, and don’t take things too personally. The new moon wants to help you build something real. But first, you have to name your needs, clearly, lovingly, and without shame.

Pisces Sun & Rising:

Pisces, Leo Season wakes up your wellness sector, and the dark of the moon in this same area might start off by showing you where things feel off-balance. Have you been ignoring signals from your body? Stretching yourself too thin? Or maybe you’ve been feeling disconnected from your routines, unsure of what your body and spirit even need to feel good. The first half of this week invites you to pause and tune in… Let the silence be diagnostic. It’s not about fixing everything overnight, it’s about listening to your systems (emotional, physical, spiritual) without judgment.

By the time the Leo New Moon arrives on July 24th, a wave of clarity begins to form. You might feel inspired to recommit to a movement practice, reset your sleep schedule, journal more often, or say no to burnout culture once and for all. This is a prime time to set intentions around your lifestyle and your habits — but make them joyful. Leo energy isn’t here to shame you into discipline; it wants you to shine from the inside out. With Mercury now retrograde in Leo, ease into new routines rather than forcing change. And remember: the most sustainable systems are the ones built with love.

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Cancer Season 2025 Is Here

Your July 2025 Horoscope Is Here

Love Island USA needs to figure out what it wants to be before returning for Season 8. Sunday night’s finale was proof. Amaya Espinal and Bryan Arenales’ historic win felt like the best case scenario for an ending featuring a break up (Huda and Chris), a couple brought together by production and audience influence (sorry, Nicolandria truthers), and a couple that seemed to be folks’ least favorite despite getting enough votes to make it to the finale (Iris Kendall and Pepe Garcia).

Season 7 of Peacock’s No. 1 reality dating show was a hot mess, naturally, but it also felt like an identity crisis. And Sunday night’s two-hour season finale was a reflection of a series of questionable production decisions, weird audience engagement tactics, overzealous parasocial relationships, and problematic behavior. None of which are unique to this show, but this season’s record-breaking success played a huge role in both the peaks and pits — as contestant Nic Vansteenberghe would call them — of the stateside franchise.

Let’s review.

Love Island Season 7: There Were Some Peaks.

Amaya and Bryan became the first Latine couple to win Love Island USA. Them winning over fan adoration was a late twist as the two bombshells entered the villa at different points during the season and formed a connection a week prior to the finale. Their victory was largely due to Amaya’s popularity which rose astronomically throughout the season despite her sometimes over-the-top theatrics (LOTS of crying) that in the past have turned audiences off of contestants.

Once the season hit a point where there weren’t many couples with a genuine connection to root for, her authentic energy, bubbly personality and consistent one-liners made it easy to see that she would win it all no matter who she was paired up with. Bryan stepped in to defend her during the tension-filled “Standing on Business” challenge. This set him up to couple up with Amaya.

Season 7 earned record-breaking viewership with it becoming the second most-watched streaming original title, The Wrap reports, with new viewers making up for 39 percent of its audience. The show garnered over 1.2 billion minutes viewed across nine episodes in just its second week, according to Luminate’s streaming data. That was reflected on social media as well with a 232 percent increase in TikTok engagement compared to last season. Its success created waves beyond virtual spaces, too, with numerous watch parties popping up across the country.

Love Island Season 7: The Pits Were Aplenty. 

Out of the gate, it was evident that the show was chasing its own success after the happy accident of casting the perfect set of singles that made Season 6 a cultural phenomenon — so much so that the cast earned a spinoff, Love Island: Beyond The Villa. Many of the Season 8 contestants were content creators with sizable followings before they headed into the villa. Many islanders left social media handlers to take over their accounts while they were on the show, disconnected from the outside world.

The beginning of the six-week experiment felt like any other season packed with attractive singles, steamy conversations, jealousy and challenges that remind you why this show isn’t on cable. But viewers had an unprecedented amount of power this season, dictating which bombshells would break up couples and digging up old videos and posts of contestants —  Yulissa Escobar and Cierra Ortega — using racist language.

Audience influence was partly to blame for a lukewarm finale. None of the original couples from the show’s early days made it to the end. Amaya and Bryan were the only remaining couple who committed to each other. Only three of the eight contestants — Nic, Olandria Carthen, and Huda Mustafa — were islanders who entered on Day 1 with a majority of the finalists being bombshells.

One of the most talked about moments from the episode was Huda and Chris Seely breaking up during their final, hard to watch date. Their 11th hour split was a first for the show — though predictable for the rocky relationship that began after Casa Amor. Chris slept in Soul Ties instead of in the bed with Huda the final night, which may also be a first for the show.

While the drama was entertaining enough, it’s not the direction the show should be headed in. The show is, after all, called LOVE Island and this season lacked the thing the reality series is sold on: singles finding genuine connections and romance. We know most of these couples don’t last, but the final three couples from Season 6 are still going strong and part of the joy of that season was watching their relationships blossom. If producers and the audience had their way last season, who knows if Leah Kateb and Miguel Harichi would be together?

What Should Change For Season 8? Less Viewer Intervention

The truth is that Season 7 just did too much. In an attempt to make this season bigger and better, production pulled out all of the stops. They sent the girls to Casa Amor for the first time, which was fine. But bringing everyone back from Casa into the main villa and having 24 people in the villa at the same time was chaotic and nearly impossible for viewers to remember who was who.

What really set off a spiral was producers giving viewers the ability to couple up bombshells with whomever they pleased. This created a canon event that split up Huda and Jeremiah Brown and gave the islanders the unspoken validity of kicking off those lucky enough to find someone they like enough to be with for more than a few days. Love Island became more about exploring everyone possible until the options were depleted (maybe also a reflection of real world dating). And if those decisions were based on strategy, it didn’t work for anyone hoping to make it to the end.

The audience had a lot of say outside of the voting windows as well, which led to only Yulissa and Cierra’s departure despite other contestants posting and reposting derogatory things about other races. There seemed to be a double standard in who was getting punished and who wasn’t.  Moving forward, producers have to do a better job of vetting show candidates while also clearly defining what they find unacceptable. Love Island’s official stance on what moral standard their contestants need to meet isn’t clear since they have never explicitly stated their policy  on racist comments and actions and only left viewers to assume.  Plus, given the show’s history with racial bias — and this season’s edits — their Black singles and other contestants of color have gotten the short end of the stick.

Audiences stereotyped Olandria and Chelley Bissainthe as mean girls based off of editing bias and harmful tropes. Just last week, Buzzfeed Tasty shared an Instagram post stating that they would give Chelley a “knuckle sandwich,” promoting violence against a Black woman. If Love Island is going to stand up against bullying, then they need to be specific and call it what it is with their whole chest: racism.

A big appeal for viewers isn’t just the real-time factor of the show, but that they have a say in what goes on in the villa. And though this may be just a show to those watching at home, there are some real ethical questions it brings up as we’re ultimately playing with these people’s feelings with the click of a button. The producers already have enough of that power. Maybe it’s best to keep the voting process very straight forward in the future.

Amaya and Bryan’s victory — as well as Kordell Beckham and Serena Page’s win in Season 6 — are indicative of what kind of stories win big on Love Island USA. It’s those that are between authentic individuals who have a genuine connection. Though most Love Island couples typically don’t stay together long after, it is, after all, the kind of escapist entertainment that should make us feel more positive emotions than negative, not the other way around.

My hot take is that Love Island USA should take a year off and figure its shit out before coming back. But after its most successful season to date, that’s very unlikely. Besides, the islanders could barely get out of the villa before the Season 8 call to audition was posted.

Like last season, viewers will get a chance to find closure with a Season 7 reunion, airing on Peacock on August 25. It will be hosted by Ariana Madix and Andy Cohen. Hopefully by then, we’ll know a little bit more definitively what the hell we just spent the last six weeks watching.

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