Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last penny.

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Content warning: This diary discusses an eating disorder which some readers may find distressing.

This week: “I wrote my first money diary in 2020 when I was living in Edinburgh and still had a couple of years of my undergrad to go. At the time I thought I’d go on to do a master’s degree in health psychology. As it turned out, I discovered that sexology existed as a thing and that I could study it if I left the UK and moved to Australia. I’ve been out here for 15 months now and during that time, I’ve moved from Perth to Melbourne. I knew I was likely to find shifting from a part-time mode of study to a full-time master’s challenging but I couldn’t have predicted how much harder things would be thanks to a hefty dose of mental health challenges. I went back to Scotland for Christmas so I could meet and spend time with my baby nephew and there was a good while where I considered not coming back out to Australia and finishing my course remotely. I gave myself a kick up the arse and decided to uproot my life again to move to Melbourne and I am so incredibly glad that I did. I love the city, I’ve got an amazing housemate (+ two dogs) and I’m feeling wayyyyy better (something I’m struggling to trust/am finding disconcerting honestly). I will be finishing my course in the next couple of months and then plan to move back to the UK sometime before August. I have no idea where I’m going to end up or what I’m going to end up doing but I’m so keen to never study ever again and build a more stable life for myself.”

Occupation: Student/bar worker
Industry: Education/hospitality
Age: 28
Location: Melbourne 
Salary: Variable but on average £360/week + tips 
Number of housemates: One + x2 dogs
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: My share is £528
Loan payments: N/A 
Savings?: I’ve got maybe (?) £3k in a Help To Buy ISA, £1k in premium bonds and £1.25k in tips.
Pension?: Yes — absolutely no idea how much.
Utilities: £38 gas and electric every two months, £10 wifi monthly, £19 phone bill monthly.
All other monthly payments: £26 gym, £4.99 Spotify (student rate), £9 Netflix, £3.50 Substack, £2.99 iCloud, £5 charity (a pathetic amount I know).

Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I studied my undergraduate degree with the Open University and studied my course part-time over the course of five years. My parents covered the costs of my degree in its entirety, for which I am very grateful. After I graduated, I applied for one master’s programme because a) there wasn’t a lot of choice in terms of places that offer sexology as a master’s b) the only other place that offered the master’s was a university in the U.S. and being in the U.S. wasn’t an idea I was keen on. I have paid for the course with money (£26k) my parents have gifted to me over the years (an equivalent amount to that they gave to my sister to help with a house deposit). International student fees here are heftyyyyyy.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
We were comfortably middle class and honestly didn’t really have any conversations about money at all. If anything, my parents discouraged talking about money and were always freaked out by my school friends having knowledge and awareness of how much their parents paid for things. My sister and I both went to private school from the age of 10 so I was always aware of there being people around me who’ve had a silly amount of money, which by comparison, made it feel like we were average-ly well off. I only began to appreciate how well off we’d been growing up when I left school and began actually interacting in/with the real world. Though this appreciation is now firmly in place, I continue to feel like I’m lacking in financial literacy.

If you have, when did you move out of your parents/guardians house?
I was admitted to an eating disorder unit as an inpatient aged 18 and kind of lived between the hospital, university halls and my mum’s house the first year after I left school (at age 19). I think I was 21 before I no longer had (inpatient) contact with the hospital and was ‘allowed’ to move out of home to rent somewhere with flatmates instead.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
I asked my parents to stop sending me a monthly allowance when I was 23. Up until then I’d been working part-time and/or been unable to work because of my eating disorder and had relied upon having their support to cover my living expenses. Tuition fees aside, no other aspect of my financial life is currently covered by anyone but lil ol’ me.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
When I was 15, I worked in a local café in the village we went on holiday to every year. I worked this job in each of the school holidays over the course of a couple of years.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes — because I’m in Australia on a student visa there are restrictions on how many hours I can work. Though I am currently earning more than I need to cover my expenses and even have a wee bit to spare, this is the first time since being out here that I’ve been able to even begin to build a financial cushion. I spent all the money I had to relocate to Australia and then to move from Perth to Melbourne and feel stressed knowing how much I’m going to have to spend again to resettle in the UK. It makes me feel really vulnerable knowing that the money I earn week to week is all the money I have/knowing that I haven’t got savings to fall back on in the event of emergencies.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
Yes, my parents gifted me £26k to cover the cost of my master’s. They gave me this money at the same time as they gifted the same amount to my sister which was actually a good bit of time ahead of when I applied for my course. I’d be lying if I said I felt like tuition fees was the best or most sensible use of this money and I do wonder about a parallel life where I’d used it for something else instead.

Day One

3:30 a.m. — Get home from work and drop almost immediately into slumber.

8:25 a.m. — Rude awakening. Go through the motions of getting myself up and ready for the day and feel yet again the weight of the realisation that my wardrobe is completely and utterly unprepared for the impending cooler/wetter weather.

8:55 a.m. — Bundle out the door looking and feeling like shit and walk four minutes up the road to wait for the tram. I constantly strive to be early when catching Melbourne public transport because, though just as likely to be late, things often arrive earlier than scheduled.

9:07 a.m. — Settle myself down on the tram and watch some YouTube (Anna Newton) on my commute across town, trying to resist the seductive pull of having a lil’ nap.

9:50 a.m. — Disembark from the tram and head to my placement supervisor’s (M’s) house via a café. I’m not familiar with this part of town and today is only the second time I’m here for placement so I reckon I’m going to take it upon myself to try out various cafés for a wee while until I have a favourite. Pick up a cappuccino with almond milk for M and a flat white with oat milk for me. Today isn’t a particularly good example but the coffee prices here are insanely good compared to the UK. I’d almost pay this much for a singular coffee back home I reckon, £6.24.

10 a.m. — Arrive at M’s for placement. This module of the course requires me to do 100 hours (unpaid) with an organisation or business of my choosing. Last week the various forms were finally complete and I started working with M who has a sexual wellness and events brand. I’m coming on board to do anything and everything she wants me to do and am v v v excited about it! Lots of my coursemates are doing more traditional and/or ‘worthy’ type placements but I love that I’m doing something a bit different.

1:30 p.m. — Finish up with M and head home (bus). I spent the morning putting together an email debriefing an event the brand put on last week. The email will be all good to go later in the week once the images are back from the photographer and I genuinely think I’ll feel proud of myself to see it come into my inbox.

12:30 p.m. — Get home, reheat some leftovers (chana masala and cumin-y greens) and get back to the task I started at M’s just before I left, putting together a bunch of companies that might be potential stockists for her brand. This ends up taking me a long time but I want to get it done so it doesn’t seep over into the next day. I’m really keen to only have to work on placement on dedicated placement days (Monday and Friday) so I leave the rest of the week for my other units.

6:15 p.m. — Head out the door again and catch the train to get to my friend H’s house. Catch up with her and her partner whilst they put together dinner (absolutely banging Ottolenghi tacos). I made cookies for the occasion yesterday and today present my offering of the raw balls for us to bake later. H and I are members of the Society of Australian Sexologists which is hosting a talk on the healing power of sexual fantasies tonight. We hook up H’s laptop to the TV and watch the talk with her partner, her house mate and housemate’s partner. Dinner is insanely delicious and I have a moment of feeling really content and lowkey emotional at what a lovely evening it’s been. I had a really tricky first year out in Australia and made the decision to move from Perth to Melbourne to finish my course remotely, hoping that this would help (and my god it has). Tonight is the first time in I don’t even know how long that I’ve had an evening like this which makes me equal parts happy and sad to think about.

10:15 p.m. — Get back home, shower and decide to finish up my placement task so I can schedule it to be sent over first thing in the morning.

Total: £6.25

Day Two

7:50 a.m. — Wake up naturally just before my alarm. I haven’t honestly managed to find my groove with a regular wake up time yet this semester but this is generally around the time I’d get up when I’ve not had work the night before. Have a slow start to the day giving myself the time to watch some YouTube and generally fanny about a bit on the internet.

10 a.m. — Actually get started with my day and spend the morning planning on/getting going with one of the assessments I’ve got looming. It is a weird one that requires us to look at the course learning outcomes for the master’s and address how we’ve achieved each of them throughout the course of our study. It should be a relatively quick and easy assignment to bash out compared to the research-based papers we normally have but I still reckon it will take me the best part of a week to get done.

12:30 p.m. — I was about to go and make some food but got sidetracked making a Google form for another of my modules. Inevitably takes me the best part of half an hour because I’m technologically inept. Manage to then spend the next hour sat on the kitchen floor gabbing away to my housemate, C, and her girlfriend, J. Make scrambled tofu, baked beans and avo toast and munch away on some corn cakes and hummus whilst am cooking.

3:30 p.m. — Book a flight to Sydney for next Friday, £85. My housemate and her girlfriend are driving up on Thursday but I’ve got work and placement so I am going to fly up and then drive back with them on Monday. Really excited to have a little break on the horizon and will be so nice to spend some quality time with C and J and see some of Sydney.

5 p.m. — Managed to squeeze a wee bit more work out then shower and spend far too long trying to find something to wear to look nice but not too nice and casual but not too casual for meeting up with one of my mates (B) (who I used to date and am more than a bit interested in shagging again). Whilst on the bus to meet him I have a call with my uni group to check in on how we’re going with our project and what we’re wanting/needing to do this week on it.

6:30 p.m. — Meet B at a bar and have time for a mini catch up before the comedy gig we’re there to see (he bought the tickets). It’s a preview and the first half was a complete riot but it went a tad downhill towards the end. A good show none the less. B and I walk 15 minutes down the road to an Ethiopian place for dinner, I pay £20.62. He moved from the UK to Australia a few months before I did but we haven’t been based in the same place. He is now preparing to move to Melbourne so we will have a few months crossover before I go back home. Every time we’ve hung out since we dated I’m reminded I don’t want to date him again but that I would like to shag him which I feel like is the perfect place to be, right?! We have a really nice evening together but didn’t feel the time was right to make a move.

10:30 p.m. — Get home (via bus) and fold the pile of discarded clothes I left on my bed. Catch up on an episode of Made in Chelsea, skincare and hit the hay accompanied by the dulcet tones of Stephen Fry reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Total: £105.62

Day Three

7:30 a.m. — Wake up before my alarm again, do my skincare and have a slow start to the day catching up on messages/notifications from friends and family in the UK from overnight.

9 a.m. — Start looking at the next assignment for my sexological education module which requires us to plan out a two-hour workshop for a target group of our choice on a topic of our choice and produce a flyer to advertise said workshop and a rationale to justify our choice of topic. I go between a couple of ideas but settle on sexual difficulties in young women with ADHD because this is also what my group project is on and will allow me to use a lot of the resources I already have.

12:30 a.m. — Take the scenic route and walk along the river to get to the gym where I do a 45 minutes reformer Pilates class and then take the more direct route back home. Walking listening is this week’s episode of Big Small Talk. Shower, hair wash and then reheat leftover tofu scramble and beans and whack on some avo toast.

2:30 p.m. — Check in with B who says he is keen to go to another couple of comedy shows tonight. I pick up tickets for myself, £39.81. Continue doing some reading for the assignment from this morning then do some work on my group project.

6 p.m. — Not feeling particularly hungry but know that if I don’t eat now then I won’t until I get back from seeing B later so I do my classic of opening the fridge and cupboards and grazing on a few bits (corn cakes, yogurt, apple, chocolate). Get changed and head out the door to get the tram and meet B.

7:45 p.m. — Meet B and wander to the first venue. The show is good but the resounding feeling I have coming away from it is that I want to have a smol cry and give the comedian a hug. We head round the corner to the second venue and I pick us up a couple of drinks before the show, £4.80.

10:30 p.m. — Back homeeee. Second show was a very different kettle of fish. Came away from this one quite keen to go down the pub with the comedian and become his pal. Didn’t have much actual chatting time with B tonight because the shows were so back-to-back but we’re going to see each other again on Friday and Saturday. I am determined to make a move of some form at some point. When I get home I do my skincare, clamber into bed and watch some YouTube then put on my Harry Potter audiobook and pass out almost immediately.

Total: £44.61

Day Four

8:25 a.m. — Wake up before my alarm againnnn! Set it a wee bit later today because I’ve got work tonight and I’m not currently in a napping phase of life so won’t catch any extra zzzzz before my shift. Again, I spend too long catching up on messages and notifications from the UK, fannying about on the internet and writing up my money diary from yesterday. Various internet antics accompanied by listening to The News Agents.

9:38 a.m. — Actually get out of bed, do skincare and start my day. Catch up watching the recording of a drop-in session for the group project that I couldn’t attend earlier in the week. End up in a low-level spiral after watching the session and start looking at the information for the next assessment. Create a page for my group and to brainstorm for the next phase of our project and send them over a link.

11:30 a.m. — Make myself a bucket of coffee (I packed my fave mug when I moved here because I’m a lunatic) and scoff a couple of medjool dates with a lot of peanut butter. Do some solo brainstorming work then head out the door and take the scenic route to the gym (listening to Everything is Content) for reformer. I’d ideally like to do more of a balance of reformer classes, strength training and cardio but I’m increasingly leaning way more into reformer purely because it means I just need to rock up and do what I’m told rather than having to actually engage my brain to think out a workout.

2:30 p.m. — Get back from the gym and meal prep food to take to work and make scrambled tofu, beans and avo toast for whatever meal this currently is. If it isn’t already apparent, I’m the kind of person who hyperfixates on a meal, makes it on a loop until I get bored of it and then don’t eat it again until the cycle repeats itself in three months’ time. Cooking and eating is accompanied by catching up on an episode of Married at First Sight Australia.

3:30 p.m. — Cram a wee bit of uni work in then jump on the weekly check-in call I have with my uni group and project supervisor. We have a productive session going through a few ideating exercises to think up potential solutions we could produce to help young women with ADHD who experience sexual difficulties.

5 p.m. — Shower and get ready for work then head out the door to the train station. The journey to work takes me around 50 minutes door to door depending on transport. Forgot my book today so instead do a combo of podcast listening (Fucks Given by Come Curious) and YouTube watching (Lizzy Hadfield).

2:30 a.m. — Pretty average level of busy-ness for a Thursday night. I genuinely really enjoy the job and the place I work. I’m someone who never thought I could work a bar job because I thought the hours or the environment would be too much (I’ve been sober for two years) but I’ve been having a great time. Other than a Friday and Saturday night there is only one member of staff on a time so I’m left to my own devices/to my own thoughts a lot of the time and have ample opportunity for chatting to the regulars, the girls and/or observing the general goings on. I’d never been to a strip club before I started this job but I’m now so keen to go to more, both here and back home, just to see for myself what the differences are (the British girls have told me that they’re stark). Have one customer interaction that wasn’t particularly enjoyable tonight (read: racist, sleezy and misogynistic) but it was totally manageable. Finish the night not feeling too knackered and with £65 in tips. My mate who normally gives me a lift home is away so I get an Uber home instead, £9.29.

Total: £9.29

Day Five

8:30 a.m. — My only window for working out today is early-ish this morning or I’d maybe have stayed in bed a wee bit longer. Out the door I go to reformer.

10 a.m. — Back from reformer via the shop where I picked up a few bits (tomatoes, mushrooms, avo, bread, tofu, corn cakes, hummus, peanut butter), £16.79. I’d normally go to Aldi for fruit and veg and then Woolies for other stuff but I was running short on time today so Woolies it was.

10:15 a.m. — Eat leftover tofu scramble and beans and avo and hummus on toast then do some uni work. Manage to do some half productive stuff and then get totally sucked into faffing about on Canva.

12:15 a.m. — Just got changed and got my stuff together to head out the door for placement when M messages and suggests we work remotely today instead. Get changed back out of clothes and into trackies because duh. SOMEHOW MANAGE TO GET SUCKED INTO CANVA AGAIN. Unbelievable. Genuinely what have I actually achieved today?!

1:45 p.m. — Manage to fall down a new rabbit hole and get sidetracked by engaging in dialogue with ChatGPT on ideas on how to enact my plan to come onto B later. I am truly going to block myself from using ChatGPT after I’ve finished uni but for some reason one of my modules is actively encouraging us to use it. Catch up on writing yesterday’s money diary to make self feel like have done something productive.

2:30 p.m. — Have a call with M to go over tasks for me to work on this afternoon and have a more general chat on upcoming bits and bobs.

4 p.m. — Spend precisely too long going over imagery from the event last week and going back and forth on choosing which ones to include. Have just finished drafting the email when I receive a message from B saying he’s invited along another of his mates tonight. AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH. FML universe. What has a gal to do?!

6 p.m. — Check in with M and confirm I can call it a day. Have a quick shower, change and get out the door to meet B and his mate at a bar. B failed to be explicit in saying that said mate, S, is the same S I know from a camping trip we went on a few months back. A nice surprise! Any feelings I had of annoyance immediately disappear. Excited to have more time hanging out with her because we really got on.

9 p.m. — Comedy show was okkkkk but probably the one I’ve enjoyed least from this week. Head to an Italian place for dinner and order a delish courgette-y, tomato-y, almond-y pasta and focaccia (to share). Is spenny-ish but portion is massive and it feels like a real treat to not be working on a Friday night for a change, £25.52.

1 a.m. — Get back home (via tram). We went to a rooftop bar after dinner and S got the round in. I went up to the bar with her and asked if she knew if B was seeing anyone to which she replied that she thought he was… but she hadn’t got into talking to him about it. Feel disappointed and a tad led on and resolve to address it directly with him tomorrow so I know where I stand. There are mixed signals are flying alllll over the place and I’m BORED.

Total: £42.31

Day Six

7:45 a.m. — Wake up pre-alarm. One of my best mates back home is still awake and we have a call for an hour to catch up and chat shit. Make a hot water, bucket of coffee and armed with a spoon and a few dates, I do some damage on my new jar of PB. Finish up the episode of MAFS from the other day whilst writing up my placement log for uni.

10:30 a.m. — Skincare, get suncream-d up, dressed and pop to the café round the corner to nab a table for B and I for brunch. I have a hojicha late and acai bowl and B pays for us both.

12 p.m. — Head to Salvos to try and find B a few bits for a wedding he has coming up. Secure the goods and manage to restrain self from buying anything (win). Take the scenic route along the river to get to the park where we devastatingly arrive five minutes after the farmers’ market got packed up. Lounge about in the sun for the afternoon photosynthesising.

4 p.m. — Duck back home quickly en route to the pub, quick turn around then out the door again for the evening. I get the drinks in and a portion of chips with gravy and spring onion, £23.98. Whilst consuming said items, the conversation comes round to dating in a tangential way and I finally take the opportunity to ask B what his current situ is. Turns out he has been dating someone since the start of the year. At the time I feel nothing about this which I feel affirms that there were no romantic feelings attached to my desire to shag him.

7 p.m. — S joins at the pub and we get some scran in. S and I share mushroom tacos and vegan chicken wings, £7.67 inc. tip. Head across the road to a bar and again each buy our own drinks, £2.40. Then head across road again to another pub for a birthday shindig situ and each buy our own drinks, £2.40. Go back to the previous bar which has now (supposedly) turned more into a dance-y type venue. Struggle to have a boogie accompanied by pure beats and so call it a night at 11 p.m.

11:30 p.m. — Get home and debrief on the B situ with C and J and catch up on their days. With their encouragement, I text a gal whose number I got at an event last week to see if she wants to meet up to go to a comedy show together next week. This week has solidified/validated certain quibbles I’d historically had with B’s style of communication (or lack thereof) with me and I honestly feel annoyed at myself for having given him as much of my mental energy this week as I have.

1 a.m. — Shower, into bed, episode of Friends and Harry Potter audiobook.

Total: £36.45

Day Seven

11 a.m. — Phworrrrr that’s more like it. I did wake up a good few times from 7 a.m. onwards but I had the perseverance and dedication to get the feck back to sleep again. Catch up on messages from back home, skincare and get to some uni work.

12.30pm — Break to make some… that’s right! Scrambled tofu! Crack on with another couple of hours of work then turn attention to doing a wee bit more on the placement task I started on Friday. Have a phatttt choc chip cookie from the freezer (leftover from the start of the week). Do honestly feel really bleugh in my body after how I’ve eaten this week but trying my best not to let it get to me.

4.30pm — FaceTime with my mum, sister and baby nephew. We generally manage to catch up once a week and it’s something I always make time for regardless of what else I’ve got going on. Get ready for work whilst catching up with them.

6 pm — Head out the door for work. I’d normally make and take food with me but just didn’t have the time or ingredients to pull anything together today. One of the guys at work orders in a few dhals and rice and insists I eat half.

3:30 am — Pretty good night for a Sunday. A few of the regulars are in who I’ve not seen for a while AND I come away with £115 in tips which beats my previous highest record by £7. My mate gives me a lift home from work and I waste noooo time getting tucked up in bed with Harry Potter.

Total: £0  

The Breakdown

“I was talking to my flatmate about this and we agreed we’ve both spent the last week living like we have no responsibilities and an endless amount of money to play with. I cannot state enough how much this is not a typical week at all for me in terms of a) how little I achieved with uni work b) how many social plans I had c) how much money I spent on food/eating out. Even though I feel more than a bit of panic at how the past week panned out because of this, I also feel so grateful that I’ve started to build enough of a financial cushion that I can have weeks like this. A week like this would also have been impossible during either of the previous semesters because the deadline schedule was so insane that — even if I had the money to have a week like this — I simply didn’t have the time. Having spent all of last year feeling like I might as well have been anywhere, I’m really grateful for the place I’m in now with uni, finances and my social life.”

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Time stands still for no one, or so the planet Saturn teaches us. Saturn is leading us into Aries on May 24th for the first time in nearly three decades. As we move onward in life, the austere and reverent cosmic force urges us to be responsible and ambitious as we grow. Along the way, Saturn will present obstacles and it’s up to us to find the best path forward.

Saturn is a dominant planet that likes to take charge and Aries is the zodiac sign that is self-reliant. When the two collide, we may focus on how we can solely advance ourselves rather than on helping others. Saturn is exalted in Libra, which is the opposite sign of Aries, and commits to being a team player. This means that when Saturn is in Aries, the planet is in detriment and urges us to be selfish. As a result, struggles can occur along the way. Saturn in Aries can be a complex combination because the fire sign is impulsive, and the planet itself is known to be strategic. When these two come together, it can make us question how to take action.

Saturn in Aries can be a tad immature. Rather than learning and moving on with the knowledge and insight the universe gives us, we may still chase the same challenges and opportunities (until we decide to move on). Even though we know instinctively that the “white whale” is unobtainable, it’ll still be lingering in our minds until we reach that goal. This could hinder us from growing and evolving into the next stage of life. Aries is a zodiac sign that won’t and can’t stop until it wins; Saturn gives it the extra determination to do so. We can still achieve greatness, it’ll just require extra effort. As long as we’re up for the task, then we should be able to thrive.

Saturn’s stint in Aries is unique because Neptune is transiting the same sign and moving closely with Saturn. The two planets will form a conjunction on February 20th, 2026. This magical time encourages us to reach for the stars and manifest our dreams. Saturn cements Neptune’s aspirations, making it a decisive moment in time. These two planets haven’t aligned in Aries in centuries.

Although the centaur Chiron will be far away by a degree, we’ll still feel the lingering energy in the same sign as Saturn. Chiron helps us heal, and Saturn helps us acknowledge the lesson. We can transcend internally by mending our trauma at this time. The growing pains might be challenging; however, we’ll face our shadow selves and embrace our fears, squashing them as we move toward enlightenment.

Those born on the dates below will be experiencing their Saturn returns, making it a transformative time. For those not in the know, the Saturn return is when the planet returns to the sign and degree it was when you were born, every 27 to 30 years. The first one teaches us how to adult, the second journey urges us to embrace our success, and the third Saturn return is a moment of reflection. Reference the dates below to see if you qualify:

Apr 25, 1937, to Oct 17, 1937

Jan 14, 1938, to Jul  6, 1939

Sep 22, 1939, to Mar 20, 1940

Mar  3, 1967, to Apr 29, 1969

Apr  7, 1996, to Jun  9, 1998

Oct 25, 1998, to Feb 28, 1999

Important Astrological Dates:

May 24th: Saturn enters Aries, pushing us to focus on advancing ourselves.

July 13th: Saturn retrograde commences, urging us to centre our energy and reflect upon our desires.

September 1st: Saturn retrograde re-enters Pisces, taking us back to the last days of April and first weeks of May. Defining boundaries is vital at this time.

November 27th: Saturn turns direct in Pisces, restructuring our lives, while making us accountable for our actions and decisions.

February 13, 2026: Saturn moves forward into Aries, giving us the determination to take control of matters.

February 20, 2026: Saturn and Neptune unite in Aries, allowing us to manifest the impossible dream into reality.

April 12, 2028: Saturn moves into Taurus after completing its cycle in Aries.

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Getting long hair cut is always a little nerve-wracking, especially when it’s taken some sweet time to grow. But there’s also nothing quite like skipping out of a salon feeling fresher, lighter and with a breeze tickling your neck. It was this vision (and a dire need of a refresh for my dry, frazzled strands) that tempted me to take the leap and give the viral ‘midi flick’ haircut a go.

A chic take on the classic mid-length cut, this viral style grazes the collarbone or shoulders and flicks up slightly when styled, hence the name. Not only is it a perfect spring-to-summer transition look, it’s also bang on trend. Dreamt up by hairstylist Tom Smith, the midi flick has amassed millions of views on TikTok. It was also dubbed “the coastal grandmother trend for your hair” while Smith says it’s “so uncool, it’s cool again”. Get your head around that one.

@tomsmithhd

The Midi Flick is so ‘uncool’ it’s cool again!

♬ original sound – Tom Smith

Zendaya, Daisy Edgar Jones and Selena Gomez are just some of the celebrities to have rocked the midi flick. Once thought of as old-fashioned due to its nod towards a Desperate Housewives-esque blowdry, Smith thinks there’s been a shift, with fans drawn to the cosiness and luxuriousness of the look as we head into the cooler months.

While it’s definitely in vogue, the midi flick is nothing new, says hairstylist Joey Wheeler at Richard Ward salon. It’s a cut he’s done hundreds of times, in various iterations. “It’s all about a mid-length cut with a little bit of a grown-out fringe,” says Wheeler. What makes it such a popular and enduring cut, he adds, is that it can be adapted to suit your lifestyle, hair type and fashion aesthetic – consider Jodie Comer‘s beachy midi flick with a tousled edge, for example. It’s also pretty versatile when it comes to styling at home, post-salon.

For that reason, I had to try it. My long hair has a medium thickness to it but as Wheeler pointed out, that’s thanks to a lot of fine hairs. I also have an oval face shape, which naturally suits a more layered look. According to Wheeler, the midi flick works for most face shapes (although square face shapes might prefer a cut that is more one length) and can be adapted to lots of hair types. He stresses the importance of chatting it through first with your hairstylist to get the cut personalised to you.

During our pre-cut chat, we decided to keep the grown-out fringe that will frame the face on the longer side. I was scared that going shorter would make it look frumpy and Wheeler agreed (he’s been my hairdresser for over a decade and knows the temperament of my hair and any attempt at a fringe; on any given day, it will flick out whichever way it so wishes).

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A post shared by Jodie Comer (@jodiemcomer)

Wheeler started by taking some six inches off the length. It was a noticeable chunk but we didn’t go as short as I thought we might. There’s a good reason for this: once the hair is blow-dried or left to dry naturally it will bounce up, creating a shorter, flickier appearance.

“This also makes a huge difference to the level of maintenance required,” said Wheeler. “If you go an extra inch or two inches off, then you really head into bob length.” Again, with the fringe part of this cut, you have to get the length just right and take into consideration your hair’s idiosyncrasies. If you’ve got little kinks, a cowlick, anything like that, you’ve got to be careful about how short you go with the fringe, said Wheeler. “If it’s shorter, you’re going to have to get up every day and style it. But if it’s a bit longer, then you’ll still be able to tie it up and get it off the face yet have a little bit floating down.”

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A post shared by BLUE TIT Hair Salons (@bluetitlondon)

Once Wheeler was happy with the length and worked his way around, creating some soft, subtle layers in the main body of the hair, he spritzed in blowdry spray and began to rough-dry my hair with a hairdryer. He cut the grown-out fringe at a slightly longer length while my hair was damp; once it began to dry, he reassessed how it sat and gave it a finishing tweak.

For a salon finish (apparent in most of the celeb images I’ve shown Joey), a medium barrel brush and a hairdryer are needed (not to mention skill, which I’m severely lacking). Once blow-dried, Wheeler spritzed each section of hair with L’Oréal Professionnel TECNI.ART Beach Waves Texturizing Salt Spray, £19, and pinned it up with big rollers to create volume.

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A post shared by ᴄᴏ-ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴏʀ sᴏᴍɪ♬ (@hairbysomi)

Random sections were then tonged using a curling wand. After all that, my head was tipped upside down and the hair mussed up for a more casual look. Honestly, it takes a lot of effort to look like you haven’t tried hard…

As if seeing the fear in my eyes, Wheeler reassured me that when it comes to styling at home, I can opt for a low-maintenance approach. A texturising spray is a must to get that wavy, scrunched up movement. He recommended at least blow-drying the grown-out fringe section and if I want to make a bit more effort, I could tong sections and then lightly run my fingers through for a subtle look like the above cut by Hair By Somi.

Left to my own devices, a couple of days later, I washed my hair and left it to dry naturally, then I spritzed over some texture spray before hand-scrunching it with my head tipped upside down. You can see how the hair sits naturally after the cut: the layers are visible but subtle and the texture tousled and modern, rather than too polished.

The midi flick is taking over salons everywhere right now. My honest verdict? If I aimed to leave the salon with a bounce in my hair and a spring in my step, then consider it mission complete, my friend.

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Finding a wedding guest dress you feel confident and comfortable in is no small feat. Add the complexities of dressing for summer — hello, wrinkly fabrics and visible sweat marks — and you’ve got yourself a full-blown shopping project. The good news? You don’t have to spend your weekend braving fluorescent-lit dressing rooms to find the perfect summer wedding guest dress. Whether you’re looking for a breezy dress for a beach wedding, a formal gown for a black-tie ceremony, or a slip dress that works across a myriad of dress codes, we’ve got you covered.

Ahead, we’ve rounded up the 28 best summer dresses for every type of wedding — from casual to cocktail — in a wide range of sizes, styles, and price points from Refinery29 reader-favorite retailers like Nordstrom, Anthropologie, and Zara. All that’s left to do? Put on your dancing shoes and raise a glass to the happy couple.

All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.

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“Sorry, can we talk about the price of sunscreen these days?” flashes across my phone screen. It’s a message from a friend who, after discovering her favorite SPF had gone up by 50%, walked out of the store and decided to leave it behind.

She’s not the only one lamenting the rising cost of SPF products lately. A quick scroll through Reddit serves multiple threads comparing 2025 sunscreen prices to those from just a few years ago — and the difference is enough to make anyone question whether they need it. It’s a similar story on TikTok, where beauty enthusiasts are pointing out how expensive 30ml bottles of sunscreen have become.

They aren’t imagining it. Besides product innovation, inflation and the rising cost of living have driven up the price of facial skincare. Add the Trump administration’s tariffs to the mix, and prices are expected to rise even further.

Given that the average adult needs at least one teaspoon (or two finger lengths’) of sunscreen to properly cover the face and neck — and that reapplication is important on hot, sunny days — it’s no surprise many people are skipping sun protection altogether, viewing it more as a costly extra than a daily essential. That’s a problem. The American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) reports that invasive melanoma — a type of skin cancer that can be caused by UV radiation and may spread to other parts of the body — is estimated to be the fifth most commonly diagnosed cancer among both men and women in the US this year. A large proportion of melanoma cases are linked to ultraviolet (UV) exposure, but research shows that using a high-factor, broad-spectrum sunscreen can reduce your risk of developing melanoma. In other words, sunscreen is key to protecting your skin. But what happens when there’s no room for it in your budget?

Why is sunscreen so expensive nowadays?

Other than inflation and tariffs, certain sunscreens are more expensive to formulate than others: “The active agents in mineral sunscreens are more expensive, especially when you’re using coated or micronized UV filters,” explains cosmetic chemist Milan Scott — these are filters that have been processed to improve how they look and feel on the skin.

Scott adds that formulating a good mineral sunscreen can be difficult thanks to the nature of these UV filters, like zinc oxide or titanium dioxide, leaving behind a white cast. “It takes a lot of time and experience to formulate an elegant mineral sunscreen formula, hence the price tag,” says Scott. On the other hand, sunscreens that use chemical filters like oxybenzone and octocrylene tend to be more straightforward to work with, says Scott, and are usually less expensive to formulate.

Both have their benefits. Mineral sunscreens, which reflect UV rays away from the skin, are generally recommended for those with reactive or sensitive skin. Chemical filters absorb UV rays and convert them into heat that dissipates before it can cause damage; they feel lighter and are mostly invisible, making them a better option for darker skin tones. But here’s the thing: a higher price tag doesn’t mean a better sunscreen.

Is there a difference between cheap and expensive sunscreen?

Aj Addae, chemist and founder of SULA Labs, explains that in the US, all SPF formulas — regardless of final cost — must undergo various tests to determine their SPF value. Dr. Julian Sass, Ph.D., a cosmetics research and development consultant, adds that while expensive sunscreens may be texturally elegant, there is no difference when it comes to protection: “SPF 50 is SPF 50, whether you spend $10 or $100,” he explains.

Scott agrees: “Many cosmetic chemists like myself formulate for both high-end and mass market brands, and we often pull ingredients from the same suppliers,” she reveals. Excluding texture and finish, Addae says that sleeker packaging also plays a role in the price of sunscreen. “I wouldn’t always opt for a more expensive formula just because it gives the idea of luxury, though,” adds Scott. “You can have an expensive sunscreen that feels greasy and has a white cast, or you can have an affordable sunscreen that feels amazing.” Instead, she suggests focusing on how it feels on the skin and whether you can see yourself using it consistently.

If you can’t afford sunscreen daily, when should you use it?

Suppose you’ve found the ultimate daily sunscreen and you’re applying it in the right quantity. Is there a smart way to make it go further? Dr. Anjali Mahto, a consultant dermatologist and founder of Self London, an expert-led dermatology, laser, and lifestyle clinic,  says that if cost is a concern, it’s a good idea to focus sunscreen use on days with a higher UV exposure — typically late spring through early fall, or any day with a UV index of three or above.

“The UV index is a simple, accessible tool that indicates the strength of ultraviolet radiation on any given day,” explains Dr. Mahto. She sees it as a practical way to help people make informed decisions, especially when sunscreen is limited or you’re trying to build a consistent routine. “You can google the UV index, or if you have an iPhone, it shows you the UV index in the weather app,” says Dr. Mahto.

Sun protection is advised when the UV index is three or above: “This is the threshold where damage begins to outweigh any incidental benefits,” she adds, “and checking it daily helps you tailor your approach: you might skip sunscreen during a rainy winter day with a UV index of 0, but apply diligently during a sunny April afternoon with a reading of five.”

Do you have to wear sunscreen in the fall or winter?

While UVB levels are typically much lower in winter, UVA, which is responsible for premature aging and skin cancers, is present all year round and can pass through clouds and windows. “That means your skin is still exposed indoors or while driving,” says Dr. Mahto. “If you’re spending long hours outside or sitting near natural light, it’s wise to continue daily sunscreen use,” she adds. “That said, if you’re only outside briefly on a low-UV day, the risk is lower.”

Dr. Mahto says it’s not terrible to skip sunscreen occasionally in winter, but wearing it year-round builds a good habit, so you’re automatically protected on higher-risk days without having to think twice. The most important thing is choosing a broad-spectrum product that protects you against both UVA and UVB, and applying it in the right quantity, says Dr. Mahto. “You don’t need to spend a fortune; a well-formulated sunscreen from a budget-friendly brand is just as effective as a luxury one if used properly.”

She recommends The Ordinary and Garnier Ambre Solaire as budget-friendly options that offer excellent protection: “The same as their more expensive counterparts.”

Can you use sunscreen as moisturizer?

If you need to lose a product from your skincare routine, consider ditching your day cream rather than your sunscreen. “For most people, simplifying your morning routine by using a moisturizing sunscreen is both time- and cost-effective, and it increases the likelihood of consistent daily use,” says Dr. Mahto.

She notes that strides in product innovation mean lots of modern sunscreens are formulated with skincare benefits. Think hydration from hyaluronic acid and glycerin, antioxidants in the form of vitamin C, and brightening agents like niacinamide. “If you have oily, combination, or even ‘normal’ skin, you can often skip a separate moisturizer, particularly in the warmer months,” adds Dr. Mahto.

There’s a reason why CeraVe’s Hydrating Sheer Sunscreen Face and Body Lotion with SPF 30, $17.99, has so many five-star reviews. Alongside broad-spectrum protection, it boasts moisturizing ceramides and niacinamide to keep your skin barrier happy. Also try The Ordinary UV Filters SPF 45 Serum, $19, which is substantially moisturizing thanks to ceramides, and Neutrogena Invisible Daily Defense Lotion SPF 60+, $20.99, with pollution-proofing antioxidants.

What’s the minimum you should look for on a sunscreen label if you can only afford one product?

Beyond skincare ingredients, Scott, Addae, and Dr. Sass recommend opting for a sunscreen with SPF 30 or higher. Better still, make sure it offers broad-spectrum protection (this should be clearly stated on the label) and is water-resistant: “That way it’s something that you can use daily, as well as on the beach or during vacation,” says Dr. Sass.

Most people underapply, which leaves gaps in protection, and what you shouldn’t do is use sunscreen sparingly. “If there’s no ‘period after opening’ symbol on the packaging, sunscreens generally last about a year after being opened,” says Dr. Sass, but Addae notes that UV filters can break down or become less effective when exposed to too much light or heat.

Dr. Sass, Addae, and Scott agree that trying to stretch a bottle by using less is shortchanging your skin: “The industry standard is to use 2mg/cm², so about two to three finger lengths worth on your face, ears, and neck,” says Scott. “Using any less than this means that you’re not adequately protected. Besides sunscreen, Dr. Mahto recommends keeping to the shade, wearing a hat, and covering up with clothes to minimize the amount of product needed on your body.

Happily, the US dropped the sales tax on sunscreen in 2012, making it a little more accessible. If you need a nudge in the right direction, I also recommend e.l.f., Bubble Skincare, and Sun Bum — affordable brands that won’t break the bank. Brands like Sun Bum, Supergoop!, and EltaMD also offer subscription services that give you 10% off your order, while Amazon offers various deals on sunscreen throughout the year, so it’s definitely worth keeping an eye out for the best ones.

Ultimately, the best sunscreen is one you use consistently and that fits your budget — and luckily, there are plenty of options if you’re willing to shop around.

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Welcome to Refinery29 Loves, the monthly news bulletin where you’ll find our editor-approved lineup of the best to shop and see in fashion and beauty right now.

The arrival of the first Monday in May means one thing: The 2025 Met Gala is returning to New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art. The annual fashion event will celebrate the Costume Institute’s newest exhibition —  “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style,” inspired by Slaves to Fashion: Black Dandyism and the Styling of Black Diasporic Identity by Monica L. Miller — and see Lewis Hamilton, Colman Domingo, A$AP Rocky and Pharrell Williams join Anna Wintour as co-chairs, as well as Doechii, Ayo Edebiri, Janelle Monáe, Tyla and more as part of the host committee.

So while we wait to see the evening unfold, we’re turning our attention to the new fashion and beauty launches making waves this month. From a new spring scent to a major designer collaboration, click through the slideshow ahead to learn about everything heading your way this May.

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Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: a science administration/adjunct professor who has a $128,000 household income and who spends some of her money this week on gravel for a retaining wall she doesn’t even want.

If you’d like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we’re not able to reply to every email.

Occupation: Science administration/adjunct professor
Industry: Education
Age: 38
Location: Portland, Oregon
Salary: $88,000
Household Income/Finances Setup: $128,000. My husband L.’s income is around $40,000 a year (he is self-employed and his income fluctuates depending on how much he is working on our home and what kinds of jobs he does). I cover the mortgage and L. covers the daycare bill. We split utilities and some other expenses. We keep separate accounts for everything except one shared vacation/travel savings account, which we each put $50 into every month.
Assets: $11,500 in a HYSA for home renovations; $4700 in a HYSA we use as an “emergency fund”; $2,000 in a joint vacation HYSA; $1,000 in a HYSA for my son (the money was a gift); $144,000 in retirement accounts; $280 in an Acorns account; and I have between $1,200 and $4,000 in my checking account, depending on the month. I have owned my home since 2020 with a 30-year mortgage with 3% interest. We also have a 529 college savings account for our son with approximately $1,300.
Debt: $1350 for our car loan; $20,000 loan owed to my parents (original amount was $30,000). I generally have between $500 and $4,000 on my credit cards at any given time and pay this off once I get my paycheck. I always pay the full statement balance but generally do carry a balance, especially since my son A. started daycare. 
Paycheck Amount (1x/month): $3,600-$4,331.60
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: $1,834 mortgage. I own my home and also paid my parents $250 a month for a loan I took out from them when purchasing the home, however payment on this loan has been on pause since January 2024 due to daycare costs. I live with my husband L. and son S.
Loan Payments: $125 car payment.
Daycare: $1,580 — usually L. writes the daycare check and I pay the mortgage.
Water: Approximately $75 ( $400-$450 every three months, split with my husband)
Gas & Electric: $150-$250 (depending on season; this is my share of bill split with L.)
Internet: $64
S.’s College Savings Account: $25
Garbage & Recycling: $25-$30
Apple TV: $9.99
Hulu: $2.99
Google: $1.99
Apple Storage: $10.00
ClassPass: $21
Spotify: on L.’s account.
Netflix: On my sister’s account.
Max: On a coworker’s account.
Car Insurance: L. pays as I cover the internet bill.
Donations: ACLU: I try to donate around $20 every two months. I used to have an auto-debited donation for ACLU Nature Conservancy but I paused this when A. started daycare, so now I just send a donation if I feel like I can.
Phone Bill: I technically “pay” my mom $100 for L. and my phone bill, but she hasn’t transferred the money to her account in quite a while. I do get a $30 credit from my employer towards my phone bill.
Health Insurance: I pay $514 for a family plan and $40 for dental, which comes out of my check pre tax. I also have $100 taken out of my paycheck pre tax for medical expenses which I can then reimburse for my health spending account. I also have $208 taken out of every paycheck pre tax for childcare, which I then reimburse myself for. 
Savings: I attempt to put $200+ in my various savings accounts every month, but this varies.

Yearly Expenses

Fitness App: $100 (for Sweat or whatever workout app I am using).
Monarch Budgeting App: $50
Nugs.net: $100 (concert streaming subscription).
Amazon Prime: $60 (split full cost L.).
Southwest Credit Card Fee: $149
Alaska Airlines Annual Credit Card Fee: $95
Auto Registration: $120
Portland City Arts Tax: $35
PBS: $60

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, it was always just assumed I would go to college and I can’t say I considered any other options (except for maybe 12 hours when I thought about the Coast Guard because I like boats and the coast and then remembered I also don’t like guns or the military). My mother, father, and stepdad all went to college, my father had a PhD and my mom and stepdad each have a master’s. My mom and step-dad are both teachers and learning was always valued as very important. I really wanted to go out of state for college but luckily my parents convinced me not to saddle myself with that kind of debt. My four-year undergraduate degree was a combination of small scholarships, student loans, my parents paying for portions, and me paying for living expenses. I also took out a private $5,000 endowment loan for a scuba diving three-week study abroad program. My master’s degree was primarily paid for by my employer at the time (a large state university that offered tuition reimbursement for employees), aside from $5,000 which was taken out via an endowment loan. I paid off my student loans in full in 2019.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
I was primarily raised by my mom and step-dad, who did talk to me about the value of saving, and investing and the importance of that (although it fell on somewhat deaf ears). I do remember an eighth grade history teacher adding some financial knowledge to his curriculum. I have struggled with my finances in the past and had a period of $10,000+ credit card debt in my 20s. I worked hard to get out of that and won’t go back down that road.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
At age 12 I started helping my aunt out with her accounting business, and at 15 I started working as a T-ball coach for one summer and at Sonic Drive In as a carhop. I held a variety of service industry jobs in high school and college and almost always had at least two jobs. My jobs in high school were to have spending money and save for college, and my college jobs were to cover living expenses and have spending money. I have a lifelong bad habit of having too many jobs.

Did you worry about money growing up?
I wouldn’t say I “worried” about money but I did understand that things cost money. I knew we took road trips to visit family on the East Coast because it was much cheaper than flying. I knew I stopped horseback riding lessons because it was getting very expensive. I was never worried about having food to eat or clothes, and once I started working at a young age I started paying for things for fun. Before starting college I saved up approximately $7,000 from jobs. I did use some of that money to get SCUBA certified as I knew once I was in college I wouldn’t be able to afford it. I worried about money a lot after I graduated college and during my 20s and early 30s when I struggled to find employment as a biologist and spent a lot of time doing very low-paying or non-paying internships, and would alternate that with working for my aunt’s business to generate income. My first full-time position was at age 26 for $29,000 a year (because: science). Money was a constant source of stress. In addition, L. was convicted of a felony for weed possession (over a decade ago now) which resulted in the loss of his ability to practice law, significant debt, a 10-month stay in prison and then a career change, which caused a lot of financial upheaval and stress for both of us including moving, loss of a vehicle, loss of income, etc. My bank accounts were actually seized by the state government at the time and I lost what I did have and had to take out a loan from my parents to survive. While this was a horrible and traumatic experience this also gave L. the push that was needed to follow me to a more liberal state where his affinity for cannabis would never be an issue again.

Do you worry about money now?
In 2019 I was promoted to a different position at my university and my income raised significantly. I went from constantly worrying about money, having multiple roommates, and not anticipating being able to buy my own home in my new city to having significantly more flexibility with my money and being able to purchase a home in 2020. I moved to the West Coast in 2016 and hustled really hard for four years after I moved here, continuing my past job and doing freelance for a few other universities as I had developed specialized skills in museum collection database management. I did all of this in addition to my main full-time job in order to save up money for a down payment. I am really glad I did this as it paid off but I also was working so much it had a pretty serious impact on my mental health. I have done some real work on understanding my anxiety and my natural instinct to chronically overextend myself and have worked hard in recent years to change that. I do worry about money now, mainly because of the huge cost of childcare, the lack of raises/CLA at my employer, and just the general situation our country is currently in. I do worry significantly less now at age 39 than I worried at age 29 when I was making $29,000 a year and putting living expenses on credit cards and had a partner that was starting over career wise. I have received raises in the past few years  in my current position by taking on additional work, and I think in large part because I showed my value and worth during the pandemic when my job essentially changed overnight and I was working 60+ hours a week as part of the crisis response team. I also teach courses on the side which accounts for $8,000 of my annual income, but if my courses don’t fill with students I don’t end up teaching so I do worry about whether that income will come to fruition, because in the summer when I do not have that income money is much more tight. I also worry about how I will continue to afford home repairs once my inheritance savings are gone (but I hope once my son is out of daycare I can save more). Portland is getting a lot hotter in the summer and we don’t have air conditioning, so that is the primary concern. I also still worry about L.’s significant debt from law school and how that will impact us in the future — especially depending on how the current administration decides to handle student loan debt. I have also struggled to change my spending habits now that S. is in daycare and we essentially have a second mortgage and my husband is self employed without retirement benefits.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
After college I became somewhat financially responsible for myself however I alternated between living at home with my parents and doing internships/field work in my field for several years. During this period I saved up approximately $12,000 to backpack Europe with my best friend, then moved back home and saved another $12,000 to move to Los Angeles. I was able to do this by not paying rent/utilities and living with my parents for “free” and being on my parents’ health insurance (I did contribute to food costs, etc). Once I moved to LA I became fully responsible for myself, however the financial situation in LA did not work for me and I moved back to my home state after one year and moved in with my partner and started a job at my undergraduate university (where I then simultaneously pursued my master’s). Since this time I have been responsible for all my expenses (besides my phone), however my parents have been there for some support if I needed help (like during time L. was convicted and when my dog had a major surgery), and I know they would help as much as they could if something else happened now. I do not plan to rely on that in any way as I know they are going to need their money for their care as they age, especially as my mom’s health continues to decline.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My father passed away in 2019 and I received inheritance of approximately $25,000 in 2021 when his estate was settled. This was very unexpected as he was not really involved in my life and his financial and living situation was a complete mess, however it turned out the property of his former business was worth a lot of money due to its zoning — even though it was in horrific shape — which resulted in some inheritance for me and my siblings. I bought a fixer-upper house as L. is a contractor and we decided to prioritize location (and there wasn’t anything near my university we could afford that was in great shape and I wanted to take advantage of a home buying grant available through my employer). The inheritance money has been extremely helpful as I have allocated this money towards home repairs/renovations, and already spent a significant portion as we have redone the bathroom, kitchen, built a fence and sauna, and painted our house. In addition, my parents did loan me $30,000 when I bought my house so that I could get to a 20% down payment and not pay mortgage insurance. I have paid off $10,000 of the loan and currently owe $20,000. The payments are currently paused due to daycare expense. In addition, my work provided me with a $15,000 down payment grant to buy in the area of my work which essentially gets forgiven over five years (and I just hit five years last month!). I also received a $20,000 Wells Fargo Neighborhood LIFT grant which was also forgiven after five years (I did nothing other than make under $75,000 a year and apply and get lucky enough to get an appointment. My realtor let me know about this program and I am forever grateful it all aligned. I essentially got $35,000 towards my house for free!).

Day One: Monday

7 a.m. — I wake up feeling really tired on this Monday. I spent the weekend on the coast with friends and relaxed, but feel spent. I go in to wake my son S. up and he asks for Daddy, and as Daddy walks in he says “Yay, there he is!” I try to hug him as my husband L. picks him up and he physically pushes me away from him. You would think after some time apart he would be excited to see mom but instead it’s always the opposite. L. makes some eggs and I get the coffee ready. I was gone all weekend and don’t have my usual lunch groceries so I grab a Healthy Choice alfredo chicken and broccoli frozen dinner recommended by a fitness influencer I bought for emergencies and a rice packet. I throw on a sweater, jeans, and my Blundstone boots and we get S. ready for daycare and then I drop him off and head to my office. My commute is really short so I either drive S. then drive 10 minutes to work or bike 10 minutes to work, depending on the day.

9 a.m. — It’s a slow morning, so I catch up on emails, have a quick meeting, then make a quick bowl of Kodiak protein oatmeal and throw in some freeze-dried strawberries. My new hack is to keep freeze-dried fruit in my office, so when I don’t have fresh fruit I can throw in some freeze dried and it rehydrates a bit and almost tastes fresh! After some computer work a vendor comes by and then I drive the supplies they brought up to our science labs. I chat with the bio lab manager for a minute then head back to my office. I see my friend venmo requested me $20 for gas from the weekend trip. I pay promptly. $20

12 p.m. — I don’t normally take a lunch break but lately I have been trying to either go on a quick walk or go to the on campus gym two times a week,  so I eat my frozen meal (not good, won’t repurchase). After lunch I grab my jacket and phone and walk around the pretty area of campus and call my parents. They are in a great mood because they went to the Bonnie Raitt concert last night. My mom is at the beginning of Alzheimer’s and often conversations feel really hard, so it was nice to have a really positive nice conversation.

1 p.m. — I head back to my office, host a committee meeting on Zoom and work on some items for the course I teach. I also prep to be out of the office the rest of the week as I have a training, then I finally get around to buying tickets to a comedian’s show that I meant to buy a few weeks ago… But now the fourth-row price are cheaper than the back rows were in the past! I grab three tickets (one for me, my husband L. and a friend who has already venmoed). I spend a significant amount of my money on concert tickets and comedy shows and I just love it too much to give it up. I send L. a venmo request for his ticket. I used to cover the cost of both our tickets often but recently have been asking him to pay for his own tickets because we go to too many shows for me to cover alone, especially with the added cost of a babysitter. $38

4:30 p.m. — I pick S. up from daycare, and pull up at home. L. is out digging in the yard — in true L. fashion he told me two weeks ago he was going to use up some wood he had stored in his shop to build flower beds in our yard because he wanted the shop space back and because our trip had been canceled due to S. being sick and he had some open days in his schedule (he is a self-employed contractor). But once he had dug up the yard to level the beds he realized it just “made the most sense” to level out the whole yard and build a massive retaining wall. We have talked about eventually building this wall, but it was definitely down the road and after we replaced our single pane windows from 1948… We have a limited amount of savings for house projects and it was a source of tension last week but he got me a window quote and it seems like we can do both with the money I have saved, so I relented and am letting him build his wall. He seems to think I am going to really love a level yard. He tells me he put $104 on my card for supplies. $104

6 p.m. — We head to a friend’s (and our old rental house) for a get-together with their sister and brother in law who are in town visiting. It is St. Patty’s so L. smoked corned beef and my friend made a ton of amazing food. I drink one beer for the holiday. We hang out, have delicious food, and get caught up. It is so nice to see them; S. is on his best behavior and has a ton of fun with the dogs. We head home around 8 p.m., give S. a quick bath and then I attempt to read him stories but he only wants Daddy, orders me out of the room and slams the door behind me. Ouch. I take a quick shower, do my skin care routine (Bioderma moisturizer and eye cream), tidy the kitchen and read my book, Snowglobe. Once S. is down we turn on John Oliver, then I head to bed around 11 p.m., read, and doze off for 20 minutes before S. cries out and I go rub his back. I eventually fall back to sleep myself around 12:40 a.m.

Daily Total: $162

Day Two: Tuesday

6:50 a.m. — My whole body hurts — this usually happens when I skip working out. I head out into the garage and do a full-body strength workout with lighter weights than I normally would use. I am hypermobile and have learned that my body’s best medicine is a consistent strength training routine. I get it done, eat the eggs and toast L. makes, and kiss S. goodbye as L. will drive him to daycare for me today. I take a quick shower and get dressed in a wool sweater and turtleneck as I am attending an offsite training and was warned the room will be cold. I do my skincare and makeup (Bioderma moisturizer, Cetaphil mineral sunscreen, Bare Minerals face powder and mascara). L. gets back from the daycare run and I head out in my car across town while drinking coffee, listening to Up First, and hearing the horrific news about new Israeli strikes on Gaza.

9 a.m. — I arrive at the hotel for the training and I can tell immediately that there will be a lot of wasted time in this training, but oh well. I answer emails as I sit through the training. It takes two hours for the trainer to really even get started. Eeek.

11:30 a.m. — We break for lunch and I head to a local taco shop. It’s taco Tuesday and two for one tacos! I manage to get four tacos for $9 (with tip), charged to my work card. It is exciting to eat different food than my usual routine! As I eat I simultaneously call an online training vendor and argue for my money back. They put me into the wrong online course and I didn’t realize it until I had completed about 35 hours of the training. I couldn’t bear to start over on the online course so I found this (free!) training of the same material. They finally agreed to refund me (this is my third call).  $9.00 (Expensed)

12 p.m. — I head into the Dollar Store next door to the taco shop to kill time. I don’t have a Dollar Store near me and figure there might be a few kid things I could grab. I grab Easter eggs, two sets of bunny ears (one for me and one for S.), a big ocean-themed coloring book, and some kid flashcards to help learn words. I’ve been trying to align my shopping with my politics but totally forgot today until I am on my way out and it’s too late to check… Oops. I get back to training just in time and try to pay attention while simultaneously responding to work emails while eating fruit snacks and chocolate ganache hearts I brought with me. $8.26

3:30 p.m. — I leave training 30 minutes early because I teach tonight. I drive back across town through the rural shortcut while listening to a new Vox Today Explained, and then need a break from news so I start up the Smartless Adam Scott episode. I make it to S.’ daycare by 4:07 p.m., drop him off to L., and drive to campus. I have to run by my office because I forgot my class notes, and then I head to the lab and get set up for my 4:40 p.m. teaching time. My amazing teaching assistant (who I love so much!) and I chat for a bit and then we start lab. It goes quickly without a lot of issues.

6:30 p.m. — I get home earlier than normal since I don’t need to bike, and quickly grab thank you cards I requested off Buy Nothing from my neighbor’s porch. My husband is tired from retaining wall work so I make S. a dinner of sweet potatoes, refried beans, pears, and olives (toddler diets are so weird) and make myself a leftover corned beef Swiss rye sandwich, potato salad, and regular salad. I do a quick one-mile walk around the block to hit my daily step goal and grab some 4T rain pants off a neighbor’s porch (my neighborhood is amazing for kids’ stuff on Buy Nothing!). L. gets in the sauna while I clean up the kitchen and read S. books. L. built a sauna in our house a year ago which helps him with his work fatigue and helps me deal with the gray rainy weather we have for half the year. Having a partner that can build pretty much anything has its perks.

9 p.m. — L. and I queue up an episode of The White Lotus and then can’t resist watching the second one. I fight the urge for snacks during the first episode but during the second I end up having two peanut butter Ritz crackers (we like to steal S.’ snacks), a Godiva ganache heart, and then a small bowl of raspberry chocolate ice cream. We finish watching at 11:30 p.m. and I get in bed and read Snowglobe for a bit before lights out at midnight.

Daily Total: $8.26

Day Three: Wednesday

7:15 a.m. — I do NOT want to get up. I have another day of training across town and because I get to leave home a half hour later than normal I drag myself out of bed and do a quick 30-minute Sweat app upper body workout. Lots of times I end up working out at 8 p.m., so I am taking advantage of being able to have a little more time in the morning this week. After my workout I eat the eggs and toast L. prepared, help get S. dressed — which is much more difficult than it sounds — spray off, and throw on leggings and a cozy sweatshirt since I am not on campus at all today. L. gets back from the daycare run with my car and I take off. I plan to listen to the news but the new Haim song is giving me such great vibes and so I end up back with the Smartless episode.

11:30 a.m. — After several hours of training we break for lunch and I have ambitious plans. I hate going to the Costco near my house: it is the second Costco ever built so it has a super old layout, plus everyone from Washington State comes over the river to not pay sales tax. Plus I just hate wasting my free time to drive 25 minutes to Costco. Lucky for me there is one six minutes from the training. I run through the gas line first then head inside and make two returns ($38.94). Then I power through a quick shopping trip. My original plan was just to grab non-perishables but there are some good sales and I do have my cooler bag with me, so I decide to go for it. I grab Finish Jet-dry, Finish dishwasher tabs, free and clear detergent, AAA batteries, size 5 diapers, new windshield wipers for my car, organic chicken and rice soup, shaved sirloin, grass-fed beef sausages, meatballs, strawberries, mushrooms, coffee, mandarins, pre-made burritos, lentil packets for lunch, a bag of croutons, Dot’s Pretzels, and an ROC eyecream three-pack ($298). As usual it totals way more than I wanted to spend but also it will last a while and I don’t feel like I am going against all my principles to shop there. $336.94

12 p.m. — The Costco food court options are not appealing so I run through a Subway drive-through. I recently rediscovered Subway after a 10-year hiatus. It’s not that bad. I get a turkey sandwich and chips, and ask for ice to dump into my cooler for my Costco stuff. The nice guy even fills it out twice for me. I eat my sandwich while driving back to training listening to Britany William’s Filter Free Friday podcast and am back in my seat just in time! $14.94 (Expensed)

1:45 p.m. — Sitting in training and L. texts me that he ordered 11 yards of gravel for the retaining wall project. I left a credit card with him for these expenses which he charged the purchase to. $721 for gravel — ouch. I have about $11,000 saved up (mostly some inheritance from when my dad died and money I have saved over time) for house projects. I know that this retaining wall is going to raise the value of my house by a lot more than it costs us, but man, a flat yard just doesn’t do it for me the way a hot tub would. In a week I will pull all of the recent wall costs out of my savings and transfer to checking to cover the costs. I listen to training while also looking at my budget on the Monarch platform and responding to work emails. $721

3:50 p.m. — I leave training 10 minutes early so I can get to daycare by the 4:30 p.m. closing time. I listen to a bit of Filter Free podcast, Up First, and more Today Explained about the atrocities happening to Venezuelans being deported from our country. I grab S. and decide to head to the library as I have a past due book. The two libraries near me are closed for renovations so we have to drive a bit further. We get stopped by a train which is annoying but at least S. gets to watch it. At the library we try to pick out a few more books but S. drops a massive smelly poop and I have no supplies so we head home pretty quick and I start unloading all my Costco goods.

5 p.m. — I suddenly remember I planned to make my birthday cake tonight! I don’t normally make myself a cake but I am trying to teach S. about birthdays. I quickly mix up a Bob’s Red Mill gluten-free chocolate cake mix and bake that while I make a Trader Joe’s salsa verde chicken (I basically heat it up) with mushrooms, rice, and steamed broccoli. I realize the romaine I bought a week ago is still good so I also make Caesar salads and use my new croutons. L. runs to the store to get cash and grabs me some cilantro but by the time he gets back I am hungry and just want to eat. My son has sweet potatoes, olives, refried beans, strawberries, and doesn’t touch his chicken and rice.

7 p.m. — I jump on my elliptical in the garage while L. bathes S. and then they frost my cake. I got my elliptical off Buy Nothing last summer after I sprained my ankle and I actually really like having it as I am trying to start adding cardio back into my life. I get 11 minutes in while watching the Love is Blind reunion before S. comes out crying because he really wants to eat the cake NOW. Well, 11 minutes is better than 0. We go inside and do the birthday song to try and teach him about birthdays but he just wants the cake! Wants the bowl! Give me the cake! Oh well we tried. I read S. a few books then jump in the shower and wash my hair while L. finishes story time.

9 p.m. — I pull up the new Liza Shlesinger special and watch it while folding laundry. Half of it I heard when I last saw her perform, but some of it has been reworked. I eat some chocolate cake and ice cream, and around 10:30 p.m. I head to my room to blow dry my hair. I read some weird news about a missing student and the student that was with her and before I know it I am in a Wikipedia wormhole and am somehow reading all about a student who was taken into custody by North Korea years ago and ended up dying. One of my biggest vices is late night Wikipedia wormholes.

11:50 p.m. — I read for a minute then turn off my light but can’t fall asleep and it’s either the blue light or the chocolate cake but either way it is definitely my fault.

Daily Total: $1072.88

Day Four: Thursday

6:40 a.m. — I wake up and immediately notice the lights are on in the living room which is abnormal as I am usually first up. Oh yeah… The gravel truck is coming this morning. Every woman’s dream is a massive truck shooting gravel into her front yard at 7 a.m. on her birthday. I lay in bed for a few minutes and don’t ask me why, but I start thinking about summer plans. I had at one point been thinking about a road trip, then got set on a Hawaii trip, then realized we don’t really have the money for those flights (even though I did manage to find shack-type accommodations for around $1,000 for nine days!). I start scrolling recreation.gov’s app and see there are still some cabins available in August. Then I get out of bed and get S. so he can watch this crazy truck shoot gravel from a giant lever via joystick. I answer some work emails that need to be out before a 10 a.m. committee meeting that I have to miss due to training while the boys watch the truck and then L. makes us breakfast and gives me a birthday card, yay!

8:30 a.m. — I have a 30-minute drive to the last day of training and music cues up when I start the car. I just can’t bear to switch to news, so I listen to a fun mix of Haim, Billy Strings, Greensky Bluegrass, and Doechii. Training starts and I do a mix of listening to the training, editing and submitting a recommendation letter, and responding to emails. I also start looking at the cabins available in August. I had a bear experience in 2020 and if I am not in Oregon or Washington I now want a cabin. No bears sniffing me through my tent again, thank you. It’s also just nice with a two-year-old because he can be contained if needed.

11:30 a.m. — It is lunch break from training and I head to the Columbia Employee Store and return a Mountain Hardwear jacket I got at the tent sale about a month ago. It was a really great deal but unfortunately once I got it home and looked at reviews it seemed like a bad idea. I get $104.99 back. Then I head to a local brewpub that’s part of a chain. I recently got convinced to buy their “Passport” so now I need to get a stamp. I order a half turkey sandwich and beer cheese potato soup and call my mom quickly. It’s a weird conversation: She asks what I am doing with my day as if she knows it’s my birthday and she already texted me, but then she launches into some strange topics. It often doesn’t make sense, can feel depressing, and I just don’t have the energy for it today so I tell her my food has come and we hang up. I eat quickly and head back to training. $14.95 (Expensed)

1 p.m. — Back in training and I work on a summer trip plan while listening. I have a visit to my home state planned and a work trip to Seattle and weekend camping trips, but would also like a few more days off before the fall semester starts which is always a super busy time for me. I mess around with what is available in Montana and Idaho but can’t find anything that works well due to my bear fear. I decide to look around Northern California and see cabins that I looked at a while back in Lassen National Park are still available! Before I know it I have a nice little road trip planned with a few cheap hotels and two nights at a cabin in the park for $167.20. The hotels are on booking.com and you pay when you arrive and cancel really late which is my new mom hack and needed with a kid who always gets sick. I’ve had many, many trips canceled or ruined in the last two years due to my kid getting sick and I am realizing road trips with flexibility are safer with a two-year-old. I spent $700 at the start of this month rebooking flights to Florida as we had to postpone the trip due to S. having a stomach bug, and in October I got hand, foot, and mouth disease in Hawaii — would not recommend! I plan the road trip to correlate with the Tedeschi Trucks Band show we are planning to go to in Bend as we will already be headed south. I don’t buy the concert tickets yet because Bend can be smoky at that time of year, so who knows if any of this will really happen. I also have to talk L. into it. $167.20

3:50 p.m. — Leave training to drive home and the traffic is bad. I listen to Up First and The Daily podcasts and arrive at daycare five minutes late but they are super nice and don’t charge me as we are never really late. Head home and do a literal five-minute workout (big believer in something over nothing) then quick shower, change, and kisses to S. The babysitter arrives and he is so excited he runs up and hugs her! We head to a local bar/restaurant to meet friends before the comedy show for my birthday. L. and I are first to arrive and we order fancy cocktails. I’ve been trying to drink less since my mother’s diagnosis, as Alzheimer’s is correlated to alcohol, and now I track my weekly intake on the Bottle Cap app. I am aiming for less than four drinks most weeks, but also just trying to get an accurate picture of my intake. But birthday = yolo.

6 p.m. — Friends arrive and we order nachos, bao buns, and spuds for the table plus one more cocktail each. This bar is tropical themed, and that is my vibe as a person, perfect for this rainy birthday. Friends arrive and two give me gifts — so unnecessary. I don’t generally do a friend thing for my birthday and this is part of why — I don’t need people to get me gifts! One couple gives me a lovely pair of earrings and my other friend gives me some mushroom string lights. When it is time to head out my husband pays and he walks back to the table realizing it was way too much (they didn’t even show him his total — Portland servers, ugh). We realize he got my two friends’ tab put on his as well, but it’s still too high. Ooooh well.

8 p.m. — Arrive at the comedy show and meet some other friends. L. gets me one White Claw and then we settle in for the show that is eight local comedians. It is reasonably funny — my expectations were low, so I wasn’t hard to impress. I had bought tickets for this weeks ago ($45 total for me and L. but a friend actually venmo’d me to cover my ticket as a gift).

10:30 p.m. — We arrive home and I pay the babysitter in cash. Get ready for bed and I read my book for a bit before lights out. $80

Daily Total: $262.15

Day Five: Friday 

7:30 — It is Friday and I took the day off! Staff get one free day off during Spring Break and since my Florida trip got canceled, I saved the day off for today. I intended to get up and work out but the three drinks last night changed my mind. We don’t rush but pack up the car for our weekend getaway and L. makes eggs, toast, and coffee. We stop by O’Reilly’s on the way out of town for my husband to get oil for my car (he pays) and then of course we run home because we always forget something. It is pouring rain and I drive the two and a half hours to the coast so L. can stare at pictures of rock walls.

1:30 p.m. — We arrive at the Coast Aquarium! I have been so excited to bring S. here as I love the ocean and all sealife. I buy our tickets ($59.90) and a latte ($6.60). My step-mom had venmo’d me $60 for my birthday, so I send her a thank you text and a picture of us at the aquarium and tell her that is what I spent it on! It’s super cold and rainy and S. isn’t very interested. We wonder if he is cold and try the inside exhibits, but he is not feeling it. He is normally so happy and engaged that his behavior feels odd. I run to the car to grab a thicker jacket for him but around 4:30 p.m. we give up and leave. He is also all of a sudden coughing……Uh oh. $6.60

4:30 p.m. — We drive the 20 minutes to check into our yurt at the local campsite. Yurts are my hack for how to travel around the PNW for cheap while still being warm. We decide to drive to a favorite fish and chips restaurant about 25 minutes away so S. has more time to nap in the car. Once we get to the restaurant we each order a beer and the halibut and chips. L. fishes and makes an amazing F&C, so I am very picky, but this restaurant is actually really good and comparable. We end up eating really quickly because S. seems so unhappy and is coughing quite a bit. There is live music so people probably can’t hear, but it’s not great to be the ones with the sick kid in the restaurant. L. pays for dinner.

7 p.m. — We run by the grocery store and I grab two Chobani yogurts, more kids’ ibuprofen, a Pedialyte in case S. starts feeling worse, a lime for beer, baby food pouches since we forgot, and some cold brew and half and half. We get back to our yurt and get set up. S. gets a second wind and seems much happier with his ball and toys and songs and books. I eat some of the amazing gummy candies my sister mailed me for my birthday and open a Modelo but it tastes gross. We eventually get S. settled for bed and sleeping in his travel crib and we chill and snuggle and I read my book until I feel sleepy around 11 p.m. Lights out but S. is coughing so much and waking me up that I have a pretty rough night of sleep with a good amount of time awake. $27.53

Daily Total: $34.13

Day Six: Saturday

7 a.m. — S. wakes up and I get him up and put him in bed next to me watching Trash Truck on my phone. I try to really limit screen time but every once in a while it is very helpful. I rest for a few more minutes and then get him a little breakfast of a grain bar, apple sauce, and strawberries while I eat yogurt and berries. He seems more chipper this morning, yay! Once L. is up and has had some coffee we walk over to the beach off the campground. It’s not raining and relatively nice out. We have a nice little beach walk and then head back to my car to go find breakfast. S. is really coughing so we decide to go to a breakfast spot with outdoor seating. We order coffees and I can’t decide between the biscuits and gravy with poached egg or French toast, and then they blow my mind and let me do both! Chocolate chip pancakes for S. and B&G for L. The food and service are both really good — this might be my new fave spot in this town. I pay for the check. $39.85

12 p.m. — We head to a local lighthouse and I pay the $7 access fee. We check out the visitor center then walk the path to the lighthouse and head down to the beach to do some tidepooling. I see an anemone with a tiny bit of fishing line stuck in it so I pull it to remove it and another two feet and giant knot comes out of the anemone! What!!!! Omg. So trippy to see — sad the trash was there but dang, watching that was AWESOME! I just wish I had a video for my corals class I teach in the fall. S. seems like he’s not loving the tidepooling, so we walk the half mile back to the car. $7

1:30 p.m. — We decide it might be best to cancel our dinner reservation and for S. to have some rest so I drop L. and S. off at the yurt to see if S. will nap. I head to a nearby local point that has a winery I love and order a glass of rosé and read my book in the outdoor garden while inhaling more gummy candies. It’s nice and relaxing, but eventually L. lets me know that S. will not nap after all so I pay my tab and add a cute whale sticker because I can’t resist a good marine life sticker. $15.20

3:30 p.m. — We decide to drive into town and then S. falls asleep in his car seat so I have L. drive me to this building that I really want to check out because it’s been built so you can essentially run up to the roof if there is a tsunami. I walk around and check that out while L. hangs in the car with napping S. After a while we head to the harbor and walk around and show S. the sea lions. We had a fancy dinner planned at our favorite restaurant, but no one wants to sit next to a coughing child so we order the food to go and sit and eat it on the boardwalk and watch all the boats. I pay for the dinner ($81) since my parents just let me know they sent me some cash for my birthday. The sun is out and we have a gorgeous view. S. eats snacks and we drink our beers and eat our takeout. Not ideal, but we made it work — and we saved some money not getting drinks, which is good with my overspending as of late. After a while we pack up, and I grab a quick ice cream cone. $5

6 p.m. — We run back to the grocery store and buy some beer and a thing of honey because I have heard honey can help soothe a cough. It costs $9 and does absolutely nothing for S., but I tried. $22.58

6:15 p.m. — We run through the gas station on the way back to the yurt and then through McDonald’s to get chicken nuggets and fries for S (L. buys). He eats exactly one bite.

7 p.m. — We walk down to the beach and watch the sunset. We got lucky with a beautiful sunset!! We enjoy some time standing on the beach until S. makes it clear he is over it. We head back to our yurt and S. colors, reads books, and plays for a bit. Around 9 p.m. we dim the lights and he is out right away. L. and I drink a beer and chat and look at the beautiful boy we created.

11 p.m. — Just as I am putting my book down S. wakes up super fussy and coughing and feels very hot to the touch. We take his temp — 103.2! Ahh. I call our nurse hotline to make sure this isn’t something he needs to be immediately seen for, we give him Tylenol and we snuggle and try to soothe him, and we all have a somewhat rotten night of sleep as he coughs and coughs. My poor angel. Without fail he gets sick anytime we have a trip.

Daily Total: $89.63

Day Seven: Sunday

7:20 a.m. — S. wakes up and I try to read some stories to him but he won’t have it so we watch a little Trash Truck. I start packing up the car and then walk down to the beach really quick while L. and S. get ready. It’s drizzling and S. clearly doesn’t feel good so we head straight home. We stop at a coffee house and I grab a coffee and breakfast burrito. L. runs into a donut place for some donuts. We drive the two and a half hours home without another stop, and poor S. coughing and coughing and coughing. $12.75

12:30 p.m. — We get home and L. gives S. a steam shower while I unpack everything. We get S. settled on the couch for some TV time. All rules are off when he is sick. I call the nurse hotline to see if there is anything else I can do for his cough because he is coughing non-stop now. I work on laundry, unpacking, cleaning up, and then eventually drive our bags of beer cans and pop cans to the collection point (you get a deposit back), then head to pick up some groceries. I grab romaine lettuce, spring mix lettuce, two things of bananas, Zoi’s yogurt, wheat bread, broccoli, a cucumber, apple juice, and some bubble water that is on sale. I cash out some of our can money because I am way over budget in spending this month — I get a $21 credit and only pay $18.01. I generally use this towards groceries at the end of the month if I am going over my budget. $18.01

3:30 p.m. — I head home and see that our water bill cleared my account. $466.38 for three months of water. Ouch. I ask L to venmo me $238. He is snuggling with S. on the couch and S. wants nothing to do with me so I go out to the garage and do a 40-minute lower body strength Sweat app workout. After that I jump in the sauna we have in the garage and get reallllly sweaty while reading my book. I put batana oil in my hair during the sauna, because post partum, I got influenced to buy it and while I think it does nothing, I want to use it up. Next, time to finally shower and wash my hair.

5 p.m. — I log into my health account and debate filling the new prescription I now have. I met with a psychiatrist two weeks ago to discuss options for anxiety medication after I read there was a correlation between the script I use on an as-needed basis and Alzheimer’s, and I really want to decrease risk, as risk is higher if a parent is diagnosed. I got on Lexapro post partum but then got off of it last May as it had some side effects. Since, I have managed my anxiety (which mainly manifests as bladder spasms late at night) with this other script. After a weekend without a bathroom easily accessible I kind of realized my bladder spasms are pretty bad right now (you notice it more when you are peeing outside on the ground outside a yurt) and I know I probably should get back on a daily med but I also want to not need a med. I put the new med in my cart but then can’t quite get myself to commit and don’t actually fill the order.

6 p.m. — L. makes chicken salads and we eat that. S. wants nothing and looks so miserable and doesn’t seem to want comfort from anyone but his dad. Ouch. I go on a quick walk around the block to get my step count up and some fresh air. Eventually S. falls asleep on the couch and we transfer him to his crib. We cue up the season finale of Severance and then the new episode of The White Lotus and snack on ice cream, Dot’s Pretzels, and mandarins. I eat some of the leftover cake I drove around all weekend without consuming. I also have some mango flavored Kion Aminos because leg day tends to make me really sore and I think it helps? I get in bed around 11 p.m. and attempt to finish my book but can’t stay awake. Unfortunately the sleep is short lived and the night is rough with my poor sick baby waking up coughing continuously.

Daily Total: $30.76

The Breakdown

Conclusion

“This week involved some travel to celebrate my birthday so I ate out more than usual, but I do know I need to stop spending so much on going out with friends to concerts and comedy shows. It is a double-edged sword though — I do feel that I am a much happier parent because I haven’t given up my social life and these types of activities fill my cup. I do want to save for larger travel (and especially for an international trip with my bestie celebrating our 40th birthdays next year) so I have been trying to curb my spending on clothing and shopping and was glad to see that reflected. I have spent the last year looking more closely at my expenses but not necessarily taking action related to the problems, so one of my 2025 goals is to actually try to take action — however I haven’t felt like the year has started off on the right foot. In large part this is because I went ahead and bought our major flights for the year (to my home state this summer, to visit my sister on the East Coast, and to my home state for Christmas) as well as the unexpected expense of recently rebooking a spring trip to visit my uncle due to illness. There is now more pressure to travel to our home state so my son can spend time with grandparents and extended family. The retaining wall was also a large investment for the week (and only got more expensive) but it is really beautiful and I know it has added to the value of my home (however seeing my HYSA lose $6,000 for this project did hurt!). With summer coming up my income will be reduced so I will have to be even more cognizant.”

Money Diaries are meant to reflect an individual’s experience and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29’s point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.

The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more Money Diaries, click here.

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A Week In National Capital Region On $241,000

A Week In San Francisco On $449,000

A Week In San Diego, CA On A $87,600 Salary

Cosmic beings, take a deep breath. You’ve made it. After the emotional exorcism that was the Scorpio full moon, we’re entering a recalibration portal. The week begins with the moon still waning, helping us shed any leftover energetic debris from the past six months. Taurus Season holds us in its earthy arms for just a few more days, reminding us to eat the damn cake, log off early, touch grass, and just be. This final stretch of Taurus Season isn’t about pushing forward. It’s about softening into what is. Trust that there’s power in stillness.

Then, on May 20th, the sun shifts into curious, clever Gemini, and everything gets a little lighter. Gemini Season brings us the gift of perspective. If Taurus taught us to build the foundation, Gemini reminds us that we don’t have to do it alone. Communication becomes our best friend. Words, ideas, and connections come alive — it’s very “bird leaves the nest” energy. Think: wind in your hair, playlist on shuffle, finally ready to tell your story with no shame in your game. It’s a season of creative alignment and mental expansion.

But we’re still holding one last emotional wave. Saturn, the planet of boundaries and maturity, is completing its final week in Pisces after being there since March 7th, 2023. This is huge. Pisces energy had us swimming in our feels these past two years — dissolving illusions, learning deep soul lessons, and confronting our inner martyr. This week, we may feel that vulnerability hangover. But it’s also a powerful threshold moment. Saturn moves into Aries on May 24th for the first time since 1999. A bold new chapter begins.

So let yourself cry and let yourself laugh this week. Reflect on what you’ve outgrown — not with judgment, but with pride. The old version of you got you here. The new version of you? They’re about to soar.

Read your horoscopes for your Sun and Rising signs for the most in-depth forecast.

Aries Sun & Rising:

Aries, you know that feeling when the wind changes direction and suddenly everything smells like possibility? That’s Gemini Season blowing into your communication sector starting May 20th. The first half of the week still has a Taurus vibe — slow and sensual — but by midweek, your inner narrator kicks in loud and clear. This is the time to share your story, pitch that idea, or finally say the thing you’ve been holding in your throat since March. You’re being reminded that your voice is not only valid, it’s powerful. Gemini season wants you to speak boldly, flirt with life, and trust that curiosity leads to connection.

And here’s the big one: Saturn enters your sign on May 24th for the first time since 1999. The final days of Saturn in Pisces are hitting your spirituality sector, stirring up reflections from the past 14 months. What cycles have you released? What truths did you finally stop running from? It’s been quiet work, but it’s laid the groundwork. With Saturn in Aries, the training wheels come off. It’s not about doing it all at once — it’s about taking one aligned step at a time with integrity, courage, and patience. You’ve got this.

Taurus Sun & Rising:

It’s your final week in the spotlight, Taurus, and you deserve a standing ovation. The sun is in your sign until the 20th, inviting you to soak in your growth and honor the ways you’ve been blooming quietly and consistently. Your aura’s still golden. But as the sun shifts into Gemini, your money and values sector lights up. Gemini Season is about owning your worth and your weirdness. Say yes to the bag, the raise, the next level of financial freedom — but say it with playfulness. Abundance flows faster when you’re enjoying the journey.

Meanwhile, Saturn is wrapping up its final week in Pisces, your sector of friendships and community. Since March 2023, you’ve likely learned some major lessons around who gets access to you, and who no longer aligns. Maybe you’ve outgrown certain group dynamics or decided to unplug from performative online spaces. It’s okay to shift how and where you show up. Saturn entering Aries on the 24th moves into your spirituality and healing zone. This isn’t about disappearing — it’s about retreating when needed to hear your own soul again. Your next evolution is internal before it’s external.

Gemini Sun & Rising:

Welcome to your solar return, Gemini. The sun moves into your sign on May 20th, ushering in a fresh wave of lightness, movement, and divine downloads after a heavy Scorpio full moon and a grounding, sometimes slow-paced Taurus Season. For the past few weeks, you’ve been processing things behind the scenes — maybe journaling more, maybe lurking instead of posting, maybe even disappearing entirely to reset your nervous system. All of that has been preparing you for the clarity that’s now starting to shine …

Saturn’s final week in Pisces is a big one for you, Gemini — it’s the last leg of a deeply karmic career lesson that’s been unfolding since March 7th, 2023. You’ve probably had to redefine what success means to you. Maybe you let go of a job that looked good on paper but drained your spirit. Or maybe you had to slow down your climb to make sure you were actually going in a direction you wanted. Now, with Saturn entering Aries on the 24th, your community sector lights up. Start thinking about your legacy not just in terms of what you’re known for, but in terms of what you want to be remembered for.

Cancer Sun & Rising:

Taurus Season helped you feel a bit more grounded in your friendships and your hopes for the future, Cancer… even if it was a bumpy road getting there. You’ve probably done a lot of emotional housekeeping this past month, especially in terms of who gets access to you and who truly reciprocates your energy. But now, as the sun enters Gemini on May 20th, your spiritual and healing sector is activated. It’s your seasonal cocoon moment. Think: naps that feel like rebirths, music that makes you cry, and a lot of emotional processing of what you’re ready to release before your birthday season begins next month.

Saturn in Pisces has been riding through your expansion and belief systems sector since March 2023, and this is the last full week of that transit. You’ve probably learned a lot about the difference between escapism and faith, and you might’ve had to hit some spiritual walls to figure that out. The next chapter, with Saturn entering Aries on May 24th, will bring a more focused push in your career and long-term goals. This is your final lap of learning how to surrender. Let yourself rest, recharge, and reflect on what it means to trust in the best-case scenario. Because that best case scenario is right around the corner.

Leo Sun & Rising:

The past few weeks under Taurus Season were all about solidifying your career direction, Leo, but you may have felt some friction when it came to the “how.” Now, with Gemini Season arriving on May 20th and lighting up your community, tech, and long-term vision sector, the vibes get airier and more future-forward. This is your time to network, launch passion projects, make connections, and remember that you don’t have to do it alone. You thrive when you’re seen — but only if you’re being seen for your authentic self and not for what others expect you to be. Remember that Mars is in your sign until June 17th, so this is literally your time to let your inner child shine.

Since March 7th, 2023, Saturn in Pisces has been gently (or not so gently) guiding you through the dark corners of your intimacy, sexuality, and trust sector. You’ve had to face some fears about vulnerability, debt (energetic and financial), and emotional entanglements. This is the final stretch of a long karmic chapter that taught you how to own your desires and your shadows. With Saturn about to enter Aries and your sector of expansion, your horizons are about to stretch. Let this final week of Pisces remind you of your inner wealth, because it’s only going to keep growing in exciting ways.

Virgo Sun & Rising:

Virgo, Taurus Season gave you room to dream bigger, but it may have also left you feeling like you were caught in a bit of an existential fog. Perhaps you’ve been trying to stay grounded while also confronting long-held beliefs about what’s possible for your life, career, or personal freedom. That paradox softens as the sun enters Gemini on May 20th, activating your sector of career, recognition, and legacy. Gemini Season will bring movement in areas that have felt stagnant, helping you see how your voice is key to your rise. Don’t wait for the perfect moment — pitch the thing, post the thing, say the thing. You may be surprised by who’s been quietly rooting for you. The more you own your multifaceted brilliance, the more the universe meets you with affirming opportunities.

Now, let’s talk Saturn. This is your final week with Saturn moving through Pisces, in your relationship and intimacy sector — a transit that’s been on since March 7th, 2023. Over the past year, you’ve likely experienced deep lessons in boundaries, accountability, and self-worth within one-on-one connections. Maybe you’ve grown more selective about who gets close to you. Maybe someone showed you their true colors, and you had to let go. Saturn in Pisces asked you to be honest about what you need in relationships — and what you’re no longer willing to tolerate. When Saturn enters Aries on the 24th, your focus shifts to energetic and financial mergers. Think: collaborations, shared resources, sexual chemistry, and spiritual contracts. It’s a new chapter of empowered discernment, and it starts with you trusting your gut.

Libra Sun & Rising:

Libra, Taurus Season had you thinking a lot about trust — who earns it, who drains it, and how you share your energy in relationships. Now as the sun enters Gemini on May 20th, you’re in your element again. Air sign to air sign, this shift activates your sector of expansion, travel, and higher knowledge. You’re remembering that you were never meant to stay in one place (physically or mentally). Book the trip. Read the book. Enroll in the class. The more you chase inspiration, the more it lands in your lap. Gemini season is your permission slip to believe in possibilities again — even the ones you shelved back in 2020.

This is also the final full week of Saturn in Pisces activating your sector of wellness and routines. Since March 2023, you’ve likely restructured the way you approach health, work-life balance, and your daily responsibilities. Maybe you’ve slowed down. Maybe you’ve had to face burnout and get real about your limits. Saturn taught you that being consistent doesn’t mean being robotic — it means honoring your capacity. With Saturn heading into Aries next week, relationships are going to demand more clarity and structure. Think of this as the last call to simplify your habits and strengthen your inner foundation.

Scorpio Sun & Rising:

Scorpio, Taurus Season placed the magnifying glass on your relationships — whether romantic, platonic, or professional — and it probably wasn’t subtle. But with the sun entering Gemini on May 20th, your focus shifts from who’s pouring into you to what you’re actually building with the energy you receive. This is your time to merge wisely: Gemini Season activates your sector of intimacy, shared resources, sex, and transformation. The theme? Energy exchange. If someone isn’t meeting you halfway, emotionally, financially, spiritually, that’s your cue to re-evaluate. Keep an eye out for opportunities to collaborate or secure funding; abundance is already circling. You just need to ask, and trust that you’re worthy.

Since March 2023, Saturn in Pisces has been moving through your sector of pleasure, creativity, and true love. You’ve likely gone through some karmic tests around dating, self-expression, and confidence — especially when it comes to inner child healing.

Now that Saturn’s wrapping up this journey, take time to notice how much you’ve matured in your capacity to receive joy and love without fear. When Saturn enters Aries on the 24th, you’ll feel pushed to apply that wisdom toward creating a more sustainable, productive lifestyle. It’s time to show up for your own growth like it’s the main character.

Sagittarius Sun & Rising:

Sag, you’re the zodiac’s freedom fighter, but Taurus Season reminded you that freedom isn’t just about breaking rules, it’s about discipline too. Now as the sun enters Gemini on May 20th, you’ll feel like the fog lifts. Gemini rules your relationship sector, so expect your social life and romantic connections to speed up. People want to talk to you, flirt with you, collaborate with you. Stay open, but don’t lose your discernment. The next four weeks are all about reciprocity — how balanced your bonds really are. If you’ve outgrown a connection, Gemini Season makes it hard to pretend otherwise.

This week also marks the end of Saturn in Pisces’ transit through your home and family sector. Since March 2023, you’ve been working through ancestral healing, boundary setting with loved ones, and maybe even rethinking where or how you want to live. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s been necessary. As Saturn moves into Aries on the 24th, joy and pleasure are back on your agenda. You’re about to be reminded that healing doesn’t always have to be heavy. Sometimes it looks like laughing in the sun, finishing a painting, or letting yourself fall in love again.

Capricorn Sun & Rising:

Taurus Season grounded you in the present, Capricorn, but it also showed you where you’ve been resisting softness. Now as Gemini Season begins on May 20th, the tempo picks up. Your sector of wellness, work, and routine is lit, and so is your desire to reinvent how you get things done. Think of this next chapter as a systems update. You can streamline, simplify, and restructure everything from your sleep schedule to your to-do list. But don’t just optimize for productivity — optimize for peace. Gemini wants you to work smarter, not harder.

You’re also closing out Saturn in Pisces’ journey through your communication sector, a chapter that started in March 2023. You may have learned how to say less, but mean more. Or maybe you found your voice after a period of being misunderstood. Either way, you’ve grown. With Saturn about to enter Aries, your focus shifts to home, roots, and emotional safety. It’s giving “main character builds their sanctuary” energy. Start with one corner of your life and make it sacred.

Aquarius Sun & Rising:

Aquarius, Taurus Season made you face your foundations, your emotional roots, your family dynamics, and what safety even means to you. Now Gemini Season begins on May 20th, and it’s bringing back your spark. Gemini activates your sector of creativity, joy, romance, and pleasure. If you’ve been feeling like life’s beenall grit and no glitter, that’s about to shift. Let yourself flirt with your passions again. This season is about what turns you on — creatively, emotionally, spiritually. What makes you laugh from your belly? What makes you feel seen? Do more of that.

Saturn is also wrapping up its 13-month transit through your sector of finances and self-worth. Since March 2023, you’ve had to get serious about what you value and how you value yourself. Maybe you’ve had money wins, maybe you’ve faced losses — either way, you’ve learned resilience. Now that Saturn’s headed into Aries, your communication style is about to get a glow-up. You’ll find more confidence in how you share your voice, your boundaries, and your brilliance. Stay ready.

Pisces Sun & Rising:

Pisces, Pisces, Pisces… you’ve been riding Saturn in your sign since March 2023, and it’s been a lot. Identity crises, growing pains, spiritual tests — it’s all been part of your evolution. But you’re at the finish line now. Gemini Season starts May 20th and shifts your focus toward home, emotional safety, and rest. Let yourself retreat. You’re in your nesting era. Redecorate your space, call your people back, allow softness to be your anchor. After everything you’ve released under the Scorpio full moon, this season is about choosing peace on purpose.

As Saturn prepares to leave your sign on the 24th, it’s a powerful time to reflect on the commitments you’ve made to your growth — and the ones you’re still resisting. You’ve learned how to say no. You’ve learned how to say “I’m not ready yet.” You’ve learned that boundaries can be sacred. With Saturn entering Aries, your relationship with money and self-worth will take center stage. Let that next chapter be one where your inner values are mirrored in what you receive. You’re ready.

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Your 2025 Money Horoscope Is Here

Your 2025 Love & Sex Horoscope Is Here

Your 2025 Career Horoscope Is Here

It’s been a heavy week online as stories of abuse involving high-profile men and Black women in the public eye have resurfaced and unfolded in real time. On May 13, singer Cassie Ventura took the stand in the federal trial against Sean “Diddy” Combs, detailing the horrific abuse she experienced during their 10-year relationship. Combs faces charges of racketeering and sex trafficking as prosecutors allege that Combs ran a criminal enterprise built on control, coercion, and exploitation. Cassie, who previously filed a civil lawsuit against Combs in November 2023, is now a key witness in the criminal case. In the same week, news broke that Halle Bailey has been granted a temporary restraining order against her ex-boyfriend, rapper DDG (real name Darryl Dwayne Granberry Jr.), following allegations of domestic abuse. She’s now been given temporary sole custody of their son, Halo Saint, with images from her police report circulating online. Also, after rapper Tory Lanez was reportedly attacked in prison this week, Megan Thee Stallion’s case resurfaced. In 2022, Tory Lanez was convicted of shooting Megan in the foot after a party in 2020 and is now serving a 10-year sentence, bringing back memories of the years of public scrutiny, victim-blaming, and online abuse she faced in the aftermath.

While the bravery of these women has been widely applauded, much of the online conversation that has followed is deeply triggering, especially for those who have been victims of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. Social media platforms such as X have become forums for some, men in particular, to dismiss, downplay, or even justify the abuse allegations at hand. As a result, many have been confronted with harmful opinions from partners, family members, and friends as these stories of abuse have unfolded. As one X user shared: “Emphasizing to women, especially the young ones, that a basic litmus test for a man you’re considering dating is to ask him his thoughts on Tory, Diddy, R Kelly, DDG, etc.” ​​

The internet has become an increasingly unsafe space for mature, empathetic discussions about the dynamics between an alleged victim and their abusers. When news broke about Halle Bailey’s restraining order against DDG, the response online was full of skepticism and ridicule. One man on X wrote, “She lyin on him, I don’t even believe this shit. DDG don’t even give off women-beater energy.” This wasn’t an isolated comment. Across social media, similar posts pointed to past allegations by DDG’s ex, Rubi Rose, to argue Halle “should have known better.”

The unspoken message here is clear: because she chose to enter a relationship with someone previously accused of abuse, she should have expected — and therefore deserved — any abuse that followed. Victim blaming always shifts accountability away from the alleged abuser and suggests that a woman’s decision to love or trust someone somehow invalidates her right to safety.

Another X user wrote, “I love Halle, but she’s not perfect. She’s constantly using her female privilege over him, and it’s beyond visible at this point.” It’s a telling comment, one that twists concern for a woman’s safety into an accusation of manipulation. “Female privilege” seemingly implies that women can weaponize their victimhood or control the narrative to their advantage. But the reality, as ironically proven by this tweet, is quite the opposite.

These reactions mirror talking points found in the online manosphere, the network of forums, podcasts, and content creators who frame women, especially Black women, as manipulative and deceitful. As we know, these ideas don’t just stay online; they’re echoed in comment sections, barbershops, and group chats, shaping how some men justify abuse.

Another common theme in online reactions this week is the belief that women somehow invite abuse or shame upon themselves because of their choices around sex and relationships. This kind of thinking frames women as sexual deviants who have brought trouble on themselves. We’ve seen the tweets from men questioning whether Cassie’s husband, Alex Fine, should leave her, as if surviving abuse makes her unworthy of love. Others shame Halle for having a child outside of marriage, as though that decision invalidates her right to safety and dignity. These reactions reflect a deeper, insidious belief: that “good” women don’t end up in these situations, and if they do, it’s because they somehow deserve it.

People online are all too excited to score gotcha moments and throw around moral judgments meant to humble women. It’s really just victim-blaming, and a lot of this is reminiscent of red pill ideology, a belief that paints women as using sex and emotions to control men. In this vein, a woman’s right to safety is always up for debate, conditional, and depends largely on how she behaves.

Many of the online responses that have been so disappointing are, unsurprisingly, rooted in misogynoir — a form of misogyny directed specifically at Black women, shaped by both anti-Blackness and sexism. Misogynoir casts Black women as less innocent, more sexually deviant, and ultimately more deserving of harm. These ideas can be traced back to colonial narratives that hypersexualized Black women, stripping them of the femininity, vulnerability, and presumed victimhood that are more readily extended to white women.

Sona Barbosa, Head of Therapeutic Services at Woman’s Trust, says this kind of language online has real-world consequences. She explains how public narratives can fuel longstanding patterns, telling Unbothered: “The language we are observing reflects a long-standing pattern of idolizing successful Black men, while quickly doubting, diminishing, and demonizing women—especially Black women—who stand up for themselves and reclaim their power in the face of violence and abuse.”

She says this situation puts Black survivors at a “double disadvantage”. In abusive relationships, already-complex cultural and economic pressures are compounded by narratives that sow doubt and shame. According to Sona, “this trend poses an even greater threat, as white men observe the responses of Black men and feel empowered to treat Black women in similar ways.”

All of this has reiterated the need to support women and girls, build a society that’s actually safe for us, and make sure victims get justice, because one person’s success should never come at the expense of others in our community.

Back in 2020, I read Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates and it opened my eyes to something I’ve since seen for myself; misogyny online don’t just stay hidden in obscure corners of the internet like incel forums, Reddit threads and 4chan. A lot of toxicity has filtered into the mainstream, influencing how the boys and men around us talk in group chats, among themselves, and when commenting on high-profile cases like the ones that have filled our news feeds this week.

What we’re seeing online is making many of us look more closely at the men in our lives; listening carefully, side-eyeing, correcting, and for some, even rethinking a friendship or two. For me, the way the men around me speak about or dismiss abuse tells me where they stand, how safe and supported I really am, and whether I can trust them. So it’s no surprise to see Black women online saying they’re cutting ties when certain friends show who they truly are.

To my fellow Black women, this week has been a lot. It’s okay if you need to step back, log off, and take care of yourself.

If you are experiencing domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224 for confidential support.

This article was originally published on Unbothered UK

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Memorial Day is quickly approaching, but the sales are already here. Many of our favorite brands and retailers have launched early MDW deals, and we’ve done the digging so you can shop effortlessly. If you’re in the market for big-ticket items like designer fashion, luxury beauty, and top-rated mattresses, or want to stock up on everyday products, now’s the time to make those purchases for less (and enjoy the long weekend relaxing instead of scrolling).

Read on for your one-stop guide to every worthwhile discount code and markdown from brands from Lululemon and Nordstrom to Wayfair, and many more. We’ll be updating this list as new deals go live — so fill your virtual cart with summer staples while they’re at their lowest.

Best Early Memorial Day Sale Quick Links

Abercrombie & Fitch: 25% off everything with code AFSUMMER
Ann Taylor: 25% off your full-price purchase, plus 30% off suiting
Anthropologie: Up to 30% off select swim, sandals, and beauty
Avocado: Up to 20% off organic mattresses
Awe Inspired: 30% off sitewide
Bellesa: Up to 50% off and a free vibe on $79+ purchases with code FREEAV 
Bloomingdale’s: Earn between a $20 and $1,200 gift card on qualifying purchases of $100 to $4,000
Brooklinen: 25% off sitewide, plus 50% off bundles
Buffalo Jeans: Up to 50% off sitewide
Calpak: 15% off sitewide, and up to 60% off select styles
Calzedonia: Shop select $69 bikini sets, and 50% off select spring/summer collection styles
Castlery: Save up to $500 sitewide and up to 40% off sale picks
Coach: Shop select sale styles
Coach Outlet: An extra 20% off select styles
Color Wow: Take between 20% and 30% off $50-100+ purchases with codes SAVE20, SAVE25, and SAVE30
Cozy Earth: Up to 35% off sitewide with code REFINERY29
Cupshe: Between 10% and 20% off the more you buy
Dolce Vita: 20% off sitewide
Dr. Scholl’s Shoes: Up to 50% off, plus free shipping
DSW: 30% off select sandals, and a free gift with a $75+ purchase
Eby: 25% off sitewide 
Essentia: 25% off sitewide and get free gifts with a mattress purchase 
Farmacy Beauty: 20% off sitewide 
Gap: 40% off sitewide 
Good American: 30% off sitewide with code MAY30 
Gooseberry Intimates: Take $25 off $150+ purchases or $50 off $250+ purchases 
Great Jones: 25% off sitewide with some exclusions
Havaianas: 25% off select styles and 40% off sale styles
HigherDose: 20% off bundles
Hollister: 20% off almost everything
Home Depot: Shop select Memorial Day sales, including up to 30% off select patio and outdoor decor 
IGK Hair: 25% off sitewide
Innisfree: 20% off sitewide, plus loyalty members get an extra 5% off
Intimissimi: 30% off select bras, plus shop seven panties for $35
Jack Black: 20% off sitewide with $100+ purchases
JCPenney: An extra 30% off select women’s apparel 
J.Crew: 40% off all shorts and packing picks
L’Agence: 25% off select styles and all sale items with code MDW25
Lands’ End: 40% off full-price styles with code FROSTING 
Lelo: Up to 50% off and get a free gift 
Lovehoney: Up to 50% off select toys, lingerie, and bondage 
Lo & Sons: Up to 40% off select styles 
Lululemon: Shop sale styles from the We Made Too Much selection
Madewell: 40% off select womenswear
Made In: 25% off select cookware
Merrell: Up to 50% off select styles
MeUndies: 50% off select styles
Miraclesuit: Enjoy 2-day shipping with code 2DAYSHIP
Naadam: Up to 30% off sitewide 
Nectar: Up to 50% off mattresses and 66% off bundles 
Nordstrom: Up to 25% off select beauty 
Nordstrom Rack: Up to 75% off new markdowns 
Nori: 25% off sitewide
Outdoor Voices: 40% off all SolarCool styles with code OVSolarCool 
Parachute: 30% off almost everything, plus up to 75% off sale styles 
Parade: BOGO 50% off all swim
Patchology: 25% off all kits 
Peace Out: 25% off sitewide (excluding bundles and kits)
PinkCherry: Up to 80% off clearance, and 40% off sitewide with code FLASH
Pistola: Up to 70% off sale items 
Purple: Save up to $700 off select mattresses and bases 
Quay: BOGO free sunglasses
Raymour & Flanigan: Up to 30% off sitewide
Ruggable: 20% off sitewide with some exclusions, with code MEMDAY
R+Co: Get a free travel-sized bundle on $65+ purchases with code VACAY
Saatva: Up to $600 off select mattress purchases 
Saks Fifth Avenue: Between $100 and $300 off purchases from $400 to $1,200 with code GETMAYSF 
Saks Off 5th: BOGO 50% off designer sunglasses with code BRIGHT 
Saucony: An extra 25% off select styles with code SUMMER25
Showpo: 30% off select styles
Skims: 30% off sitewide (with some exclusions) 
Society6: Up to 30% off wall art, and 20% off almost everything else
Soma: Shop $29 bras and free shipping 
Stoney Clover Lane: Up to 60% off select styles
Sunday Citizen: 30% off bedding 
Sundays: Up to 30% off sitewide
Supergoop: 20% off sitewide, including new arrivals
Tecovas: An additional 20% off all markdowns, plus an increased 20% military discount
Tempur-Pedic: Save up to $500 on select mattresses and get free accessories 
The North Face: Up to 25% off select styles
Thinx: 20% off sitewide 
True Botanicals: Free full-size Body Butter with $150+ orders
Ulta: BOGO 50% off mix and match suncare, plus get a free gift with select $35+ suncare purchases 
Vera Bradley: Up to 50% off select styles, plus an extra 20% off select rolling luggage and full-price Adair Collection items with code ADAIR20
Wayfair: Up to 70% off select products 
Womanizer: Up to 50% off and get a free toy on $199+ orders 
YSE Beauty: 20% off sitewide
Youth To The People: 25% off sitewide

Best Memorial Day Fashion Sales

Abercrombie & Fitch Sale

Starting May 21, take 25% off almost everything with code AFSUMMER. 

Ann Taylor Sale

From now through May 18, take 25% off your full-price purchase. Plus, through May 16, 30% off suiting.

Anthropologie Sale

For a limited time, take up to 30% off select swim, sandals, and beauty products.

Awe Inspired Sale

From now through May 30, during the Blue Moon Sale, take 30% off sitewide.

Bloomingdale’s Sale

From now through May 18, earn a $20 to $1,200 gift card on qualifying $100 to $4,000 purchases (products labeled “GIFT CARD OFFER”).

Buffalo Jeans Sale

From now through May 28, take up to 50% off sitewide.

Calpak Sale

Starting May 16, take 15% off sitewide and up to 60% off select styles.

Calzedonia Sale

Starting May 22, shop select $69 bikini sets, and 50% off select spring/summer collection styles.

Coach Sale

For a limited time, shop select sale styles.

Coach Outlet Sale

Starting May 21, take an extra 20% off select styles.

Cozy Earth Sale

Starting May 16, take up to 35% off sitewide with a Refinery29-exclusive code REFINERY29.

Cupshe Sale

Starting May 23, take an extra 10% off two pieces, 15% off four pieces, or 20% off six pieces sitewide.

Dolce Vita Sale

Starting May 20, take 20% off sitewide.

Dr. Scholl’s Shoes Sale

Starting May 21, take Up to 50% off, plus get free shipping.

DSW Sale

From now through May 18, take 30% off select sandals. Plus, get a free weekender bag with a $75+ purchase with code NAVY.

Eby Sale

Starting May 22, take 25% off sitewide.

Gap Sale

From now through May 16, take 40% off sitewide (with some exclusions).

Good American Sale

From now through May 31, take 30% off sitewide (with some exclusions) with code MAY30.

Gooseberry Intimates Sale

Starting May 24, take $25 off $150+ purchases or $50 off $250+ purchases.

Havaianas Sale

Starting May 23, take 25% off select styles and 40% off sale styles.

Hollister Sale

Starting May 23, take 20% off almost everything.

Intimissimi Sale

Starting May 22, shop 30% off select bras, plus shop seven panties for $35.

JCPenney Sale

From now through May 18, take an extra 30% off select women’s apparel. 

J.Crew Sale

From now through May 19, take 40% off all shorts and packing picks. 

L’Agence Sale

Starting May 20, take an additional 25% off select styles and all sale items with code MDW25.

Lands’ End Sale

From now through May 21, take 40% off full-price styles with code FROSTING.

Lo & Sons Sale

For a limited time, take up to 40% off select styles.

Lululemon Sale

For a limited time, shop sale styles from the We Made Too Much selection.

Madewell Sale

For a limited time, take 40% off select womenswear.

Merrell Sale

From now through May 28, take up to 50% off select styles.

MeUndies Sale

From now through June 2, take 50% off select styles. 

Miraclesuit Sale

From May 18 to May 19, enjoy 2-day shipping to arrive by Memorial Day weekend with code 2DAYSHIP.

Naadam Sale

Starting May 20, take up to 30% off sitewide.

Outdoor Voices Sale

From now through May 26, take 40% off all SolarCool styles with code OVSolarCool.

Nordstrom Rack

For a limited time, take up to 75% off new markdowns.

Parade Sale

Starting May 22, shop BOGO 50% off deals on all swim.

Pistola Sale

Starting May 22, take up to 70% off sale items.

Quay Sale

Starting May 16, shop BOGO free sunglasses deals.

Saks Fifth Avenue Sale

From now through May 16, get $100 to $300 off purchases between $400 and $1,200 with code GETMAYSF.

Saks Off 5th Sale

From now through May 19, shop BOGO 50% off deals on designer sunglasses with code BRIGHT.

Saucony Sale

Starting May 16, take an extra 25% off select styles with code SUMMER25.

Showpo Sale

Starting May 23, take 30% off select styles.

Skims Sale

During the Bi-Annual Sale, take 30% off sitewide (with some exclusions).

Soma Sale

From now through May 19, during the Bra Event, shop $29 bras and enjoy free shipping. 

Stoney Clover Lane Sale

Starting Make 22, take up to 60% off select styles.

Tecovas Sale

Starting May 23, take an additional 20% off all markdowns, plus an increased 20% military discount.

The North Face Sale

From now through May 26, take up to 25% off select styles.

Thinx Sale

Starting May 21, take 20% off sitewide. 

Vera Bradley Sale

Starting May 20, take up to 50% off select styles, plus an extra 20% off select rolling luggage and full-price Adair Collection items with code ADAIR20.

Best Memorial Day Beauty Sales

Color Wow Sale

Starting May 22, take between 20% and 30% off $50-100+ purchases with codes SAVE20, SAVE25, and SAVE30.

Farmacy Beauty Sale

Starting May 23, take 20% off sitewide, and get free gifts the more you spend.

HigherDose Sale

For a limited time, take 20% off bundles.

IGK Hair Sale

From now through May 27, take 25% off sitewide.

Innisfree Sale

Starting May 18, take 20% off sitewide. Plus, loyalty members get an extra 5% off.

Jack Black Sale

Starting May 23, take 20% off sitewide with $100+ purchases.

Nordstrom Sale

From now through May 17, take up to 25% off select beauty products.

Patchology Sale

Starting May 22, take 25% off all kits.

Peace Out Sale

Starting May 22, take 25% off sitewide (excluding bundles and kits).

R+Co Sale

Starting May 19, get a free travel-sized bundle on $65+ purchases with code VACAY.

Supergoop Sale

From now through May 19, take 20% off sitewide, including new arrivals.

True Botanicals Sale

Starting May 22, get a free full-size Body Butter with $150+ orders.

Ulta Sale

Starting May 18, enjoy BOGO 50% off mix and match suncare deals, plus get a free gift with select $35+ suncare purchases.

YSE Beauty Sale

Starting May 23, 20% off sitewide (with some exclusions).

Youth To The People Sale

Starting May 22, take 25% off sitewide.

Best Memorial Day Home & Furniture Sales

Great Jones Sale

Starting May 19, take 25% off sitewide (with some exclusions).

Home Depot Sale

From now through May 28, shop select Memorial Day sales, including up to 30% off select patio and outdoor decor.

Made In Sale

Starting May 16, take 25% off select cookware.

Nori Sale

Starting May 19, take 25% off sitewide.

Raymour & Flanigan Sale

From now through June 2, take up to 30% off almost everything sitewide.

Ruggable Sale

Starting May 19, take 20% off sitewide (with some exclusions) with code MEMDAY.

Society6 Sale

From now through May 27, take up to 30% off wall art, and 20% off almost everything else.

Sundays Sale

From now through May 27, take up to 30% off sitewide.

Wayfair Sale

Starting May 16, take up to 70% off select products.

Best Memorial Day Mattress & Bedding Sales

Avocado Sale

Starting May 19, take up to 20% off organic mattresses.

Brooklinen Sale

From now through May 27, take 25% off sitewide, plus 50% off bundles.

Castlery Sale

From now through May 18, save up to $500 sitewide and 40% off sale picks.. Plus, get an extra $50 off $1,500+ orders with code MDAY25.

Essentia Sale

From now through May 31, take 25% off sitewide, plus get free gifts with every mattress purchase.

Nectar Sale

Through May 16, take up to 50% off mattresses and 66% off bundles.

Parachute Sale

For a limited time, take 30% off almost everything, plus up to 75% off sale styles.

Purple Sale

For a limited time, save up to $700 off select mattresses and bases.

Saatva Sale

For a limited time, save up to $600 on select mattress purchases.

Sunday Citizen Sale

For a limited time, take 30% off bedding.

Tempur-Pedic Sale

From now through June 3, save up to $500 on select mattresses. Plus, through May 19, get $300 worth of free accessories on select mattress purchases.

Best Memorial Day Sex Toy Sales

Bellesa Sale

During May, take up to 50% off sitewide, and get a free AirVibe on $79+ purchases with code FREEAV.

Lelo Sale

From now through May 31, take up to 50% off and get a free Sona 2 Travel vibe with $199+ orders.

Lovehoney Sale

From now through June 22, take up to 50% off select toys, lingerie, and bondage.

PinkCherry Sale

For a limited time, take up to 80% off clearance and 40% off sitewide with code FLASH.

Womanizer Sale

Through May 31, take up to 50% off select products, and get a free Womanizer Toy on $199+ orders.

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