A kitten. There is a kitten balancing on his forearm. When I first saw my now-boyfriend’s Hinge profile, I stopped in my digital tracks. Clearly this meant that not only did he like cats but that this cat liked him. I’d long yearned for a cat-person partner and along with a photo of him wearing a Peep Show T-shirt, I reasoned that these similar interests were a sure sign we were meant to be together. It turns out I’m not alone in this thinking – but it’s not always ideal for a relationship.

Some 61% of daters use apps to meet people who share common interests, according to research by Healthy Framework.

According to a study by the Pew Research Center revealed that 64% of married Americans believe that having shared interests is very important for a successful marriage. Those surveyed even ranked shared interests as more essential than good sex or shared political beliefs. Why do we think this, and are shared interests really the marker of a lasting relationship?

My boyfriend and I are a year into our relationship now and I can count our mutual interests on one hand (after cats and Peep Show, the other three are pizza, weed and reggaeton, if you’re curious). I like watching reality TV; he thinks it’s drivel and would much rather put on a horror film that’ll make me weep with stress. He is obsessed with finding the most authentic, local food on vacation (the more adventurous, the better), while I find trying new foods anxiety-inducing. My hangover days routinely consist of bed-bound binge-eating, whereas he favours going to the gym – leaving me to consume junk food as though I’m in some sort of solo competition.

“When you first start dating someone, it can be exciting to discover that you have a lot in common,” says relationship expert Carmelia Ray. “However, as time passes, you may find that having too much in common can be just as challenging as having nothing.”

Dating apps like Hinge are built on the idea of finding someone whose likes and dislikes are similar to yours. Hinge’s USP might be getting your personality across with quirky conversation-starters, but we’re scanning them for interests we identify with. We might think, Ah, they’re a drinker – thank God. We examine their photos to see if they might love travelling, partying or the pub. Oh, they like vintage shopping on the weekends? Me too! Searching for commonalities is sewn into the discourse of modern dating and it’s becoming more extreme by the day. Tinder’s 2021 update included the launch of the ‘Explore’ tool to make it easier to find people with the exact same interests as you. Newer apps are even more blinkered: POM claims to match users on the basis of their listening history; Clover allows you to join groups like ‘dog lovers’; Kippo matches gamers based on the games both parties play.

“People often confuse compatibility with being the same,” says relationship psychotherapist Charisse Cooke. “It’s often the differences in relationships that can cause problems and conflict. So we may imagine someone having the same interests as us protects us from misunderstandings or disagreements.”

Perhaps this boils down to a rebellion against the badly matched relationships of our elders? After all, it’s only in the last 50 years or so that we’ve been marrying for love first and foremost. “In previous generations, the main motivation for relationships and commitment was security,” continues Cooke. “Being part of a couple or family unit was imperative for social and economic reasons.” The number of shared interests, or similarities in general, was not part of the decision-making. Cooke believes that younger generations have an “urge to merge” their lives: we want to view the world the same way, hold the same beliefs and do the same things. By doing this, Cooke believes we expect to experience less dysfunction and stress. But are we going too far in our pursuit of a clone-like “type on paper”?

For starters, having different interests from your partner allows you to become a more well-rounded person. “When dating someone with the same interests, there’s less room for growth,” says Cooke. “You may find that you stop trying new things.”

Hattie, a 27-year-old art director based in London, has wildly different music tastes from her boyfriend. But through compromise (yay to adulting!) she’s discovered a surprising appreciation of genres she thought she despised. “I used to be adamant that I hated all music without lyrics,” says Hattie, a lover of indie bands and pop bangers. “But nowadays, if I just have at least one lyric to hold onto, then I can have fun.” She now loves dance festivals like GALA and has swapped Tom Odell for Caribou on her running playlist. In turn, her boyfriend recently discovered a love of Sam Fender and Holly Humberstone – artists typically too mainstream for him – after being dragged to see them at this year’s Glastonbury festival.

“It’s essential to continue exploring new things together so your relationship can grow and change over time,” says Cooke. It’s a bit like the echo chamber effect on social media. We become narrow-minded when we seek out opinions or information that reinforce our existing views.

Different opinions and interests also prevent boredom. Mancunians Lizzie, 27, and Harry, 29, have been together for almost 10 years and note that their differences are what keep the relationship fresh. “There are interests we’ve picked up from each other and do together but it’s the separate ones which allow us to have independence and our own space,” says Lizzie. The couple certainly don’t agree on everything, especially when it comes to what constitutes fun – yoga vs rugby, for example. “You have friends for a reason,” she continues. “They’re who I have the most shared tastes with, and it makes spending time with them that much more fun.”

A sense of separate identity is essential when it comes to the unthinkable relationship breakup. Lana* is a 27-year-old tax advisor who recently split with her girlfriend of two years. “Thankfully I kept most of my hobbies separate during our relationship and this has helped me so much,” she says. “I’ve managed to retain my sense of self and the memory of her doesn’t lurk over all my favorite activities.”

Breakups can be far more traumatizing when every little thing reminds you of them (a brief break from my current partner almost ruined cats for me forever). Cooke even believes that too many shared interests can make relationships last longer than they should. “It can make leaving them that much harder, in fear you’ll never find someone you can share so much with again,” she says.

Shared hobbies can also trigger unfriendly competition. “My boyfriend and I are both really into the outdoors and fitness so when we took up climbing together I thought it’d be a great way to bond and have fun,” says 28-year-old teacher Tanya*. “But he started to get much better, much faster and it knocked my confidence. I felt discouraged, unreasonably angry and stopped enjoying it altogether.” Although she theoretically likes the idea of her boyfriend getting more into running, which is her favorite sport, Tanya anticipates it feeling like he’s encroaching on her identity. “He’s naturally quite an outspoken, dominating character and as I’m much softer, it would probably feel like he’s taking over that side of me,” she continues.

“Society has conditioned us to believe that having similar interests can equate to being romantically compatible — but in reality, having similar interests is not enough for a couple to sustain a happy and successful long-term relationship,” confirms Lisa Fei, founder and CEO of relationship wellness app Clarity. “Having similar values and ethics is what can make or break a relationship in the long run.”

Lana agrees, sharing: “I’ve discovered that having similar value systems is much more important to me. For example, do you make decisions based on the same moral code? If you don’t appreciate each other’s logic and how you get to decisions, then you don’t actually understand each other.”

Respect for each other’s differences is crucial, too. “I’m very spiritually minded,” says Tanya. “And although Jack* might roll his eyes when I say I want to sage the house or set some intentions, he would never belittle my interests because they don’t align with his.” Having different passions doesn’t mean you need to spend time doing them apart either. “My ex and I did a thing called ‘alone time together’,” says Lana. “I would read my book and she would practice on her DJ decks. It felt like we were together but we also got our essential alone time with our favorite hobbies.”

“As long as your values and non-negotiables are aligned, having different interests can be healthy,” continues Fei. “It’s differences in values about fidelity or life goals, for example, that could prove fatal to a long-term partnership,” adds Cooke.

Yes, I enjoy the many cat memes my boyfriend and I send each other. And of course it’s utter bliss when we smoke while eating pizza every Sunday. But I still don’t watch horror movies or get a kick out of trying new foods. My boyfriend is never going to watch Love Island with me or discuss the latest creative director movements in the fashion industry. And that’s fine. I have a whole host of incredible pals to do this with and more. And as for my solo hangover eating competition, it’s wonderful – more junk food for me.

*Names have been changed to protect identities

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There’s nothing like September in New York. A hint of fall is in the air, Hamptons weekends are in the rearview (for now), and come Fashion Week, droves of stylish individuals flock to lower Manhattan for the spring collections. And as much sartorial goodness there is both outside of, and inside the venues, there’s ample beauty inspo to appreciate as well — namely, haircuts of every length, color, and texture that have us texting our stylist, “Girl, you free?”

With the Spring 2026 season finally in full swing, we’ve kept our eagle eyes peeled on incoming street style snaps. The result: All of the most refreshing, effortlessly cool haircuts to inspire you this fall. (Bixie girl summer is still going strong, BTW.)

All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.

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Fashion month is in full swing — with Copenhagen Fashion Week in our rearview mirror and New York Fashion Week officially starting off the season — with inspiring spring/summer 2026 runways. And while the shows look to the future of fashion, we’ve been scouting the streets for what’s hot right now. NYFW attendees have been going all out with their outfits, dressing for cool early-fall days while embracing a fresh spring mentality. And that’s given us a masterclass in transitional-weather dressing.

From rich colors (especially jewel tones) and elevated basics (à la white button-up tops) to strategic layering (a statement coat can make a look), the NYFW street style outfits are the perfect inspiration for your own fall wardrobe refresh. Whether you’re considering styling (or buying) barrel-leg pants, a shaggy coat, knee-high boots, or a statement top-handle bag, scroll on for outfit inspo from the best NYFW looks we’ve seen so far.

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Emmys 2025: Best Dressed on the Red Carpet

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The curtain has closed on the 77th Primetime Emmy Awards, and television’s biggest night delivered in glamour – and in first-time wins. The Pitt emerged as one of the evening’s standouts, taking home Outstanding Drama Series and handing Noah Wyle his first Emmy, along with a Best Supporting Actress win for Katherine LaNasa. Meanwhile, Severance – the top-nominated show – scored major wins too, with Britt Lower taking Lead Actress in a Drama and Tramell Tillman making history as the first Black man to win Supporting Actor in a Drama.

Comedy was ruled by The Studio, which broke records for wins by a freshman comedy series, including Best Comedy Series and a Best Actor win for Seth Rogen. The leading ladies of Hacks also snagged top awards, with Jean Smart taking home her fourth Emmy for her portrayal of Deborah Vance and co-star Hannah Einbinder cinching the win for Best Supporting Actress. Over in Limited Series, Adolescence dominated with multiple wins – including Outstanding Limited Series, Best Lead Actor and Actress, and the unforgettable moment of 15-year-old Owen Cooper becoming one of the youngest Emmy winners in history.

As the spotlight dims, we’re celebrating not just the trophies but the red carpet moments: the evening’s best dressed stars whose styles reflected boldness, star power, and show-stopping flair.

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Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: a elementary school teacher who has a $110,800 joint income and who spends some of her money this week on a $50 donation to a family in need.

Occupation: Elementary school teacher
Industry: Education
Age: 23
Location: Central Wisconsin
Salary: $45,100
Joint Income/Financial Setup: $110,800 (my husband M. works in accounting with a salary of $65,700). All our accounts are joint, and we pay all expenses jointly.
Assets: Checking: ~$4,000 (depending on the time of month); emergency fund: $20,342.86; CD: $16,000; M.’s 401(k): ~$2,000; joint stock account: $13,476.93; Roth IRAs: ~$56,000 combined.
Debt: $0
Paycheck Amount (Biweekly): After taxes and insurance are taken out, my paycheck is about $1,300 every other week; M.’s is about $1,800.
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: $1,300 for our one-bedroom apartment.
Loan Payments: $0
Streaming Services: $29.99 (HBO, Hulu, Disney+).
Utilities: ~$120
Car Insurance: $210.39 (for two cars).
Charity Donations: $275
Phone Bill: $89 (paid to M.’s dad for our part of the family plan).
ROTH IRA Contributions: $475 each, $950 total.

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes. It was always expected that my siblings and I would either go to college or trade school. I attended an in-state university and my parents paid for all my expenses. My husband M. went to the same college, and he paid for his education through scholarships, jobs, and with a little help from his parents.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
My parents had a lot of conversations with my siblings and me about saving money, living frugally, investing, and planning for retirement. My parents really emphasized good money management habits. As soon as I got my first job, I started contributing to my Roth IRA.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job (besides babysitting local families with my sisters) was as a stocker at a supermarket. I got the job to save money; I was 17 and wanted to have some personal savings before going to college. My parents also encouraged me to get the job so I could contribute to a Roth IRA and so that I could gain work experience.

Did you worry about money growing up?
No, I always felt very financially secure.

Do you worry about money now?
No, I think we are in a good place with our finances and I know we live frugally.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
M. and I got married a few months after graduating from college, and so I never lived in an apartment alone or had to support myself on my own income. I guess I would say I became financially responsible once I graduated from college, but I lived with my parents until I got married.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My parents paid for my college in full and helped me buy my car. M.’s parents helped him with some college expenses and also helped him buy his truck. My grandparents contributed heavily to my Roth IRA (I don’t know the exact amount) once I had earned income as a teenager, and they also gifted me the majority of what is in our stock account over the years. M.’s grandparents have a trust set up for each of their grandchildren, so my husband will receive $200,000 from that at some point, but not until his own parents pass away. So hopefully we are far into retirement before we have access to it.

Day One: Monday

6 a.m. — I wake up to my alarm and get out of bed. I hear my husband, M., showering in our bathroom. I get dressed and wash my face before heading to the kitchen to make breakfast. Today we’re having scrambled eggs and pancakes (I usually make a big batch of pancakes, muffins, or waffles one afternoon a week and then reheat them each morning for us).

6:40 a.m. — We head out to work. M. drops me off at the school I teach at. Most days we’re able to drive to work together because we work similar schedules, which gives us some more time together and also saves gas money.

7:10 a.m. — I arrive at school. I love teaching, and over the weekends I always look forward to seeing my students again. Today they all want to give me a hug and tell me what they did over the last couple days. The majority of my students come from immigrant families and very low income households. Many have parents who are undocumented or are undocumented themselves, so the last year has been uncertain and difficult for a lot of their families. I’m so impressed by these kids’ resilience and kindness despite the circumstances.

10:30 a.m. — After a morning of reading and writing, I sit down to plan. A lot of the students in our school are far below grade level on reading, and my class is certainly no exception. I put together reading groups, books, and activities for our reading block for the next few days. It’s hard for me to place a couple of the students in a group because they are still learning their letter sounds, but I finally decided to put them with my lowest group and see how it goes. I figure that I can have the rest of the group play a reading game during part of the time so that I can give just those two students specific help with letter sounds.

12 p.m. — I eat the lunch I packed: grapes, a cookie, and a homemade yogurt parfait. One of the office staff stops by to tell me that the mother of a student in another class was in an accident. The school is raising money for some gas and food gift cards to the family. I text M. and he says we should definitely contribute. I write a check. $50

3:45 p.m. — M. and I stop at one of our town’s parks on the way home to fish at the dock and play tennis on the public court. It’s a beautiful evening, and I’m sad that we have to leave by 5 p.m. today (we have friends coming over at 6 p.m.).

6 p.m. — We have pasta and meatballs with our friends and play games. It’s so fun (as always) to hang out with them! After they leave, M. reads a spy novel he checked out last week and I text with a high school friend and some of my sisters. My high school friend, S., and I talk about the state of the nation and the idiocy going on around us. Tonight she tells me that some of her church’s members are staying home from mass and church events because there have been deportations outside other churches in her area. It makes me feel sick and helpless, and S. suggests that I join her and her mom next month for a march in support of immigrant rights.

8 p.m. — M. and I watch part of The Italian Job, say prayers, and go to bed around 9:30 p.m.

Daily Total: $50

Day Two: Tuesday

6 a.m. — I wake up, make breakfast (eggs and pancakes again), and get ready. Today I am leaving school as soon as my class is dismissed for the day so that I can go to a doctor’s appointment, so M. is not dropping me off.

7:05 a.m. — I get to school and get myself organized for the day. When the first bell rings, some of the students that I had in my class last year stop by to say hi 🙂 It makes me so happy to hear from them.

2:45 p.m. — The day goes by fast! I quickly pack up and drive to my doctor’s office. When I check in, I see that the charges for an appointment I had last month are showing up on my account, so I pay for that ($171). $171

5 p.m. — I drive to the homeless shelter where M. and I volunteer to serve dinner every month. It’s good to see the familiar faces of the residents, and I feel ashamed of myself when I witness their optimism and gratitude (I think feeling ashamed is probably not the best reaction, but I do think it is good to realize that so many people have basic needs that aren’t met while I’m so privileged in a million ways). Many of them are elderly, walk with difficulty, or have severe dental problems, and I’m reminded of how fortunate I am that I can go to a doctor for help without worrying about the cost. We eat chicken casserole, mashed potatoes, and brownies with the residents and other volunteers once we’re done serving, and then head home.

7:15 p.m. — I pack our lunches for tomorrow and watch the news with M. We discuss our mutual dislike for a certain cabinet member and wonder about where our country is headed next.

Daily Total: $171

Day Three: Wednesday

6 a.m. — I wake up and make (the same) breakfast. The sunrise is coming through our apartment windows, and it is glorious. The Midwest change-of-seasons sunrises and sunsets are absolutely beautiful, and they always improve my mood immensely. M. and I drive to work with the windows down, letting the cool air fill the car as we sing along to my choice of music, a sappy Sinatra playlist.

10:30 a.m. — The first part of the day goes by well. My students are really understanding this unit of math, and I’m so happy. I eat my lunch (yogurt, grapes, chips, and cheese) while looking over their quizzes. My mom texts and asks if M. and I want to meet her and my dad for dinner tomorrow night. My parents live rurally about an hour and a half away from us, so it’s easy to meet them in a town about halfway between our homes.

3:30 p.m. — After school, I walk to a little park not far from M.’s work. It’s nice to move around a little and be out in the beautiful weather, and it’s easier for him to pick me up here anyway.

5 p.m. — Once we get home, I bake some pumpkin bread and cookies (I LOVE baking and cooking, but especially baking!). We go to daily mass at a little church not far from our place. The priest there preaches about loving our neighbors and trusting in God’s plan. After the final hymn, I kneel silently for a while, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere.

6 p.m. — M. and I have fish and rice for dinner and go on a walk. When we come back, I pack our lunches while he sets up some card games for us to play. We talk about our families while we play. We are driving south to see his family (they live about two hours away) this weekend.

8 p.m. — I call one of my sisters while I watch the sunset from our deck. The clouds are becoming darker and heavier, and I see that there is rain in the forecast for tomorrow. I head inside to shower.

9 p.m. — We say prayers and go to bed.

Daily Total: $0.00

Day Four: Thursday

5:45 a.m. — I wake up a little early to wind and rain. When I open the blinds, I see that our parking lot is totally flooded. The storm sewers are literally overflowing!

6:45 a.m. — M. picks me up at the door of the apartment lobby in his truck so that I don’t have to get drenched. The streets on the way to school resemble small rivers, and most cars are driving with their hazards on.

7:20 a.m. — I get to school later than usual, and half my students are missing at the time of the tardy bell. As the weather improves throughout the morning, they start showing up.

12 p.m. — I eat lunch (pumpkin bread, blueberries and yogurt, chips) while reading the news and texting one of my sisters. After lunch, I take my class out for recess. The grass is soaking wet even though the rain has passed, so we tell the kids to stay on the asphalt and woodchips. Suddenly, one of my students calls my name and points at the sky excitedly. I look up, expecting to see an airplane, but it is a huge rainbow, the kind you generally see in photographs or picture books. The other kids have noticed it too by now, and are yelling and pointing in delight. I’m amazed at how bright and clear it is, and a little lump rises in my throat. It is just such a magical moment. We don’t go inside until the rainbow goes away, so we end up staying on the playground for five extra minutes.

3:45 p.m. — After school, I walk to the park again. M. picks me up, and we stop by the store on our way home. We get apples, blackberries, flour, pasta, squash, green beans, fish, meatballs, bread, chicken, hotdogs, toothpaste, and ice cream. $62.43

5 p.m. — After we unload the groceries, we get in the car and drive to meet my parents: we all go out to dinner at a place nearby that does pizza by the slice. My mom tells us all the latest news from her large extended family. Her parents are coming to Wisconsin next week, so we make plans to spend next weekend at my parents’ place so we can see them. They live on a few acres bordering a river and have a huge barn that they’ve recently converted into a gym, so it’s a really fun place to visit. We pay for our slices of pizza. $11.21

8 p.m. — On the way home, M. and I have a little argument about something we disagree on politically. We end up “agreeing to disagree” and riding in silence most of the way. We’ve made a lot of progress since the beginning of our relationship on how we manage conflict but sometimes it’s still difficult.

9 p.m. — We say prayers, make lunches, and pack our suitcases for our visit to M.’s family tomorrow. We always move on from arguments quickly, and we’re both in a good mood by the time I get out of the shower. Even though it’s a little later than usual, we both struggle to fall asleep. I roll over to give M. a hug, and he pulls me close.

Daily Total: $73.64

Day Five: Friday

6 a.m. — It’s the last day of the school week, and we’re driving down to M.’s parents’ house right after work. We have a quick breakfast and drive through another amazing sunrise to work.

10:30 a.m. — During my planning period, I text with M.’s mom. She and I have a really close relationship, and I’m looking forward to seeing her tonight. She updates me on which family and friends will be there this weekend.

12 p.m. — I have a peanut butter and banana sandwich for lunch, along with a Snickerdoodle and some yogurt. The kids are a little antsy today — it’s usually like that on Fridays — and we decide as a grade level to give them 10 extra minutes of recess since it’s a Friday. I play tag with about half my class, and we all have a blast.

3 p.m. — M. picks me up from school and we head to his parents’ house. When we get there, I see M’s five-year-old nephew C. playing in the front yard. M. is godfather to C., and they have a special bond. C. runs to give us a big hug just as M’s brother Z. (C.’s dad) comes out to greet us. Z.’s wife, D., is here too, and she’s holding their new baby daughter, P.! It’s so good to see Z.’s family again; they live in the same town as M.’s parents so we generally get to hang out with them every time we visit. We haven’t seen them in about a month, and it’s amazing how much P. has grown!

6 p.m. — We have a fun night with M.’s family. His younger brother, K., who’s still at home, entertains us with high school drama, and everyone is in a good mood. After a dinner of Italian subs, we go for a walk around the neighborhood. I talk to D. about how her life is going with an infant and a new part-time job.

7:30 p.m. — Z.’s family says a long Midwestern goodbye and heads home for the night. I go to our room to take a shower, and when I come out, the TV is blaring the news and M. and his dad are talking about taxes.  M.’s mom is sitting with them and I know she absolutely hates it when people talk about politics, even if there is no disagreement involved. I suggest we bake something. She readily agrees and pulls out a few new recipes she’s found. We decide to try mini banana cream pies. It’s an absolute disaster but super fun.

9 p.m. — M. and I head to bed. I fall asleep almost immediately.

Daily Total: $0

Day Six: Saturday

6:30 a.m. — I wake up to the delicious smell of coffee cake. M.’s mom makes this absolutely scrumptious coffee cake whenever we’re here because it’s M.’s favorite. M. takes a shower and I go downstairs to hang out with his parents. They ask me about my class and update me on their family and friends. M. and K. join us for coffee cake and scrambled eggs, and then M.’s mom and I go out to work in her garden for a little bit. The final vegetables of the year are ready to be harvested, and we pick some good tomatoes and green beans.

10 a.m. — We meet Z.’s family at the park! There’s a little river that runs through the park, and we go fishing. M. patiently shows C. how to put a hotdog on the hook for bait. C. doesn’t catch anything, but his dad lets him “help” reel in a fish on his pole. It’s catch and release, and C. cries because he wants to keep the fish as a pet.

12:30 a.m. — M. fills up on the way back to his parents’ house. $47.91

1 p.m. — We get home and eat turkey panini and fruit salad for lunch. C. tries to convince us to feed his baby sister cantaloupe. I think he does know that babies that young can’t eat normal food, but he likes the attention and laughs that he gets.

3:00 p.m. — M.’s family is very close with another family that lives about a half-hour away, and they’re coming over for dinner tonight. I help M.’s mom prep appetizers and sides, but our guests are bringing pizza and drinks, which is really nice.

3:45 p.m. — M. and I drive to the local church for a 4 p.m. vigil mass. The church is a beautiful Romanesque building, and the music is incredible. The parish is taking up a collection for the starvation victims in Gaza. I wish I had brought my purse. I lean over and whisper to M. that we should give something; I know he has cash in his wallet. M. gives me the look that means “absolutely not”. The basket is getting closer to us. M. doesn’t look my way and the basket passes us. I feel myself getting pretty angry. I know I’m being stupid, and that I should just give online, but M is emphatically against it because he thinks the money won’t actually go to the people that are starving. I’ve looked it up and I think if we give to the right organization, we don’t have to worry about that. I was hoping that a collection through church would change his mind, but I guess there’s no such luck.

5 p.m. — After church, I give M. the silent treatment for about five minutes before his sad face gets to me. I try to explain to him that this is a cause that’s important to me, but he says he replies that we need to keep our focus on having a fun weekend with family and friends and not worry about this now.

6 p.m. — The doorbell rings, and M.’s family friends spill into the kitchen. They bring pizza, cannoli, martinis, and some weird tropical-flavored wine. I’m excited to see them again! They have four adult children around our ages. The eldest is married and recently gave birth, and the other three are guys around the ages of M. and his brothers. A couple of them bring their girlfriends. We have a blast eating dinner and playing games.

8:30 p.m. — After dinner, the families with kids head home, the parents go sit on the deck, and the rest of us go down to the basement to watch a movie. A couple of M.’s friends are pretty sloshed at this point and an intense debate over which movie to watch ensues. Somehow, our options get narrowed down to Cars 2 or Goodfellas (???). I have to take a bathroom break right before the “official vote” and when I return somehow we’re watching The Princess Bride. I love this movie, so I’m thrilled. It’s even funnier when drunk people are trying to say the lines with the actors.

10:30 p.m. — The movie ends and I’m so tired. M.’s family friends hash out designated drivers and say good night. I shower and fall asleep immediately.

Daily Total: $47.91

Day Seven: Sunday

7:15 a.m. — I wake up later than usual and quietly leave the room. My mother-in-law is awake, and we go for a walk. We have a great time talking about friends and family. She always had a good advice; in some ways, we’re very similar people. She also says she’d like to join me for the march I’m  planning on going to with S. and her mom!

10 a.m. — We spend the morning hiking and the afternoon swimming in M.’s family’s pool for the last time before they close it for the season. We have leftover pizza and cannoli for lunch.

4:30 p.m. — We pack up and leave. It’s a great day to drive with the windows down, and I feel a lot better about things after talking to M.’s mom. We stop by Culver’s on the way home. I get a milkshake and M. gets a burger and fries. $19.52

6:30 p.m. — We arrive home. I’m feeling strangely energized, so I clean the bathroom, put in a load of laundry, and pack lunches for tomorrow. It must be contagious, because M. starts vacuuming and organizing our shoe shelf. When we finish the chores, we eat ice cream and watch Finding Nemo, laughing and reminiscing about how scared we were of it as kids. I feel so lucky to be married to my best friend. I almost fall asleep on the couch but manage to wait until we get to bed.

Daily Total: $19.52

The Breakdown

Weekly Total $$ Spent: $362.07
Food & Drink: $93.16
Entertainment: $0.00
Home & Health: $171.00
Clothes & Beauty $0.00
Transportation $47.91
Other $50.00

Conclusion

“I think we did a good job spending within our budget this week. We don’t eat out very frequently (I love to bake and cook), and our grocery bill was around what it usually is. I was surprised that I only logged filling up on gas once (usually we fill up twice). The doctor’s bills are obviously unavoidable, but it’s not fun to see that expense and know that there are more coming. Recording my week made me realize how lucky I am to live near family and friends, and what an important part of my life they are. It also helped me reflect on my relationship and the disagreement M. and I had about donating. My parents always donated money to causes they believed in, but I never saw them disagree about where to donate, so this is new territory for me.”

And An Update…

“A few days after I finished recording my diary, M. and I had another conversation about donating to a Gaza aid fund. I reiterated that it was something I felt strongly about and really wanted to do, and he agreed that we could, so I donated online to a charity that provides families there with food and medical aid. I am happy that I brought it up again and that he changed his opinion when he saw how important it was to me.”

Money Diaries are meant to reflect an individual’s experience and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29’s point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.

The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more Money Diaries, click here.

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Prior to submitting your Money Diary, please read and consider Refinery29’s Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Submission of your Money Diary does not guarantee publication by Refinery29. Should your Money Diary be selected for publication, Refinery29 may, in its sole discretion, elect to pay you a fee, subject to such further terms and conditions as Refinery29 may deem necessary. Money Diaries that are not published are not entitled to receive any payment. Refinery29 will not remove Money Diaries once published. By submitting your Money Diary to Refinery29, you agree to abide and be bound by the applicable Terms of Use and Privacy Policy linked above. All submissions need to be original to the author (i.e., no AI contributions).

Have questions about how to submit or our publishing process? Read our Money Diaries FAQ doc here or email us here.

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A Week In The New York Tri-State Area On $192,250

A Week In New York On A $125,000 Salary

A Week In Victoria, Canada On $130,264

Cosmic beings, eclipse season doesn’t mess around… and neither should you. The  recent Pisces total lunar eclipse was part one of this cosmic double feature, and now we’re moving toward the sequel: a partial solar eclipse in Virgo on Sunday the 21st.  Eclipses always come in pairs, and this week is like that quiet but restless pause between acts. You might notice your body craving simplicity, your mind craving clarity,  and your heart craving a reset. That’s because we’re in the “dark of the Moon” phase  — the few days before a new moon when the Universe basically hands you a cosmic Swiffer and says, declutter your life, babe. 

Midweek, on the 18th, Mercury shifts into Libra, giving us a breather. Conversations flow more smoothly, debates feel more balanced, and suddenly you might actually want to  hear someone else’s opinion (keyword: might). But just as you’re getting comfy, the  very next day, Venus leaves fiery Leo and enters pragmatic Virgo. If Mercury is passing  you a chilled mocktail and saying “relax,” Venus in Virgo is like, “btw, did you  remember to alphabetize your spice rack?” It’s that classic one-step-forward, one step-back energy, reminding us that eclipse season is not about control, it’s about  surrender, with a side of editing.

And then comes the main event: the Virgo solar eclipse on Sunday. Unlike the  emotional tidal wave of last week’s Pisces eclipse, this one is quieter, subtler, but no  less important. Virgo energy is about the small steps, the daily rituals, the grounding  habits that make big dreams sustainable. You don’t need to launch a 10-point transformation plan this weekend. In fact, you shouldn’t. Instead, pay attention to your  nervous system. Get outside. Touch grass, literally. Drink water. Stretch. Let your body  be the vessel for the fertile intentions that want to sprout in the months ahead.

The blessing of this eclipse? It plants seeds for the next six months, seeds that may  take their time, but will grow with steady devotion. Think of yourself as fertile ground,  not a machine. Virgo wants you to trust that progress happens in increments, not  instant gratification. So this week, as Mercury reminds you to connect with grace and  Venus dares you to simplify your love and money story, know that the real magic is  already germinating under the surface. Your only job is to breathe, release, and prepare  to say yes to what wants to grow.

Read your horoscopes for your Sun and Rising signs for the most in-depth forecast. 

Aries Sun & Rising:

Aries, are you noticing how your relationships are mirroring back your own growth?  Mercury’s entrance into Libra on the 18th activates your partnership zone, and since  this week builds toward Sunday’s Virgo solar eclipse, relationships are the biggest  teachers. Someone close to you could reflect both your best qualities and your blind  spots. Stay open but discerning. Harmony doesn’t mean ignoring your own needs — it  means finding ways to stand tall in your truth while still respecting the rhythm of  another’s. This is especially key because the eclipse is ruled by Mercury, and your  conversations this week can become the seeds of major shifts over the next six  months.

Venus’s shift into Virgo on the 19th points the spotlight to your health and daily habits.  Combined with the Virgo eclipse on the 21st, this is your cosmic nudge to get real  about your wellness routines. Are you running on fumes or giving your body what it  needs? Try not to over-police yourself… you’re not a robot, you’re a human in  transformation. With Mars preparing to enter Scorpio next week, the fire of reinvention  is coming, but right now you’re asked to lay a gentler foundation. Think: nourishment,  boundaries, and remembering that your body is a temple, not a battleground.

Taurus Sun & Rising:

Taurus, love might be asking you to loosen your grip a little. With Venus, your ruling  planet, moving into Virgo on the 19th, right before the Virgo solar eclipse, your heart is  ready for new levels of devotion. This eclipse lands in your zone of creativity, romance,  and fate, making it one of the most magical moments of your year. But here’s the  catch: you can’t control how love unfolds. If you’ve been nitpicking yourself or others,  take a deep breath and choose presence. The eclipse brings breakthroughs in love and art, but only if you resist expecting perfection.

Mercury’s move into Libra on the 18th helps you weave this magic into your daily life.  Libra energy brings more flow into your routines, encouraging you to balance structure  with flexibility. A partnership — romantic or professional — might inspire you to refine  the way you work or create. Venus in Virgo will harmonize with your earthy energy, but  the eclipse amplifies it. So ask yourself: if your inner child could dream up their ideal  romance, project, or creative pursuit, what would it look like? This is the week to plant  those seeds.

Gemini Sun & Rising:

Gemini, the Universe is turning up the volume on your voice. Mercury, your ruler, struts  into Libra on the 18th, highlighting creativity, love, and pleasure. Since the upcoming  Virgo solar eclipse is ruled by Mercury (just like you), your words and ideas are  especially powerful now. Don’t be surprised if a conversation this week reshapes your outlook on love or inspires a creative breakthrough. The solar eclipse on the 21st roots  this inspiration at home, asking: what foundations are you building so your creativity  has room to thrive?

Venus entering Virgo on the 19th ties directly into this eclipse energy. This is your  chance to ground your restless energy into something tangible within your home and  family life. Maybe you reorganize your living space to invite more peace, or maybe you  finally have that heart-to-heart with someone under your roof. Venus in Virgo wants  your love life to feel practical and nourishing, not just fleeting fun. And since the eclipse  falls in this same sector, whatever intentions you set now around your home, security,  and roots will ripple through the next six months.

Cancer Sun & Rising:

Cancer, you’re riding a wave of heightened sensitivity, and yes, it’s a lot. The Pisces  eclipse two weeks ago already stretched your emotional bandwidth, and now the  upcoming Virgo solar eclipse on the 21st takes it further by shining on your zone of  communication and self-expression. You may feel like you need to say something  you’ve been holding in. Mercury’s move into Libra on the 18th pushes you to balance  honesty with harmony, especially at home or with loved ones. Remember: speaking  your truth doesn’t mean spilling every thought. It means choosing words that align with  your higher self.

Venus’s move into Virgo on the 19th sets the tone for the eclipse weekend. This energy  wants you to refine how you communicate in relationships, and the eclipse magnifies it.  You might realize you’ve been editing yourself to avoid conflict, or on the flip side, over explaining to be understood. Venus in Virgo helps you simplify: say less, mean more.  And as the Moon renews in Virgo, this is your chance to plant intentions around writing,  teaching, or even social media use. Just keep an eye on Venus’s shadow: self criticism. Your words are spells, Cancer, so make sure they’re kind and intentional, especially toward yourself.

Leo Sun & Rising:

Leo, the spotlight may feel heavier than usual, but that’s because the Universe knows  you can carry it. Mercury’s move into Libra on the 18th emphasizes your  communication zone, making this a week where your voice can open doors. Conversations you have now carry eclipse-level weight, especially as we approach the  Virgo solar eclipse on the 21st. If there’s a story you’ve been afraid to tell, or a truth  you’ve been hesitant to share, Mercury in Libra encourages you to deliver it with grace,  not fear. Remember: harmony isn’t about silencing yourself… it’s about choosing the  words that best honor your power.

Venus leaves your sign on the 19th, sliding into Virgo and syncing with the eclipse in  your self-worth and financial zone. This is a reality check moment, Leo: how are you  treating your money, and how are you letting it treat you? Venus in Virgo loves  precision, but be careful not to slide into scarcity thinking or nitpicking your progress.  The eclipse magnifies where you’ve been underestimating your value and pushes you  to raise the bar. Think: new opportunities to monetize your passions, healthier money  boundaries, and a fresh relationship with abundance that mirrors your true worth.

Virgo Sun & Rising:

Virgo, you’re the main character this week, and the Universe isn’t subtle about it.  Mercury, your ruler, steps into Libra on the 18th, highlighting your money and values  zone. Because the upcoming solar eclipse in your sign is ruled by Mercury, the  conversations and decisions you’re making about your resources right now are infused  with long-term impact. Pay attention to any shifts in how you earn, save, or spend…  these are clues to the new chapter that Sunday’s eclipse wants you to write. You’re  balancing practicality with harmony, especially in how you share and receive resources  with others.

On the 19th, Venus joins the party in your sign, just two days before the partial solar  eclipse in your sign crowns you with new beginnings. It’s a cosmic reset button for your  identity and how you show up in the world. Venus helps you refine your glow-up, not  just physically, but emotionally, financially, and spiritually too. The temptation may be to  scrutinize every detail of your journey, but the eclipse wants you to surrender control  and embrace your becoming. This is your time to plant intentions around confidence,  relationships, and purpose. Think less about “fixing yourself” and more about  celebrating yourself.

Libra Sun & Rising:

Libra, your season is around the corner, but first you’re being asked to clear the clutter.  Mercury moves into your sign on the 18th, sharpening your voice and reminding you  how powerful your words can be. Since Sunday’s Virgo solar eclipse is ruled by  Mercury, your clarity and charm will influence how you navigate the shifts of this week.  Partnerships and contracts might feel highlighted, and your ability to advocate for  yourself while creating harmony is your magic. Don’t shy away from speaking up —  you’re being called to step into your role as the diplomat and decision-maker.

The eclipse itself, however, takes place in Virgo on the 21st, just two days after Venus  moves into that same sign. This double Virgo influence shines on your zone of solitude,  healing, and closure. Old wounds, patterns, or limiting beliefs may resurface — not to  haunt you, but to be released once and for all. Having your ruler Venus in Virgo for the  next four weeks could tempt you to be overly critical of your healing journey, but  remember: progress isn’t linear. This final eclipse of 2025 is a cosmic cleanse. Plant  seeds around self-compassion, boundaries, and choosing peace over perfection.

Scorpio Sun & Rising:

Scorpio, the cosmos just turned the volume up on your heart’s desires. Mercury’s  entrance into Libra on the 18th activates your hidden world, encouraging you to sort  through your subconscious patterns before you speak or act. With Sunday’s partial  solar eclipse in Virgo being ruled by Mercury, the Planet of Communication, you may  notice secrets, dreams, or inner truths bubbling up this week, asking to be  acknowledged. This isn’t about hiding… it’s about making space for what’s been  quietly guiding you. Your intuition is your compass now, and if you lean into it, you’ll  see the eclipse’s lessons with greater clarity.

Then comes the main event: Venus shifts into Virgo on the 19th, amplifying Sunday’s  Virgo solar eclipse in your zone of friendships, networks, and community. This is your  reminder that you don’t have to walk your path alone. Some Scorpios might welcome  new soul-aligned friendships, while others might gracefully release connections that  have run their course. The eclipse highlights who truly supports your vision and who  drains it. Venus softens the edges, helping you approach these transitions with love,  not resentment. By planting seeds of community now, you’re building a support system  that mirrors your transformation.

Sagittarius Sun & Rising:

Sag, the cosmos is testing just how high you’re willing to aim. Mercury enters Libra on  the 18th, spotlighting your friendships and networks, and reminding you that your voice  holds major influence right now. People are watching, listening, and mirroring your  energy, which is why this pre-eclipse week feels like a sneak preview of the larger plot  twists to come. Be intentional about what you share, and with whom. Align your words  with your truth, and you’ll magnetize the allies who are meant to walk with you into this  next season.

Venus’ move into Virgo on the 19th adds even more weight to Sunday’s upcoming  solar eclipse in Virgo, both landing in your career zone. Think: reputation reset. Whether  you’ve been craving recognition, searching for direction, or considering a pivot, this  eclipse shines a floodlight on your professional path. Don’t be surprised if new doors  open suddenly, or if old ones slam shut with finality. Either way, trust the rerouting.  Venus helps you refine your craft and approach your career with discernment. This is  about building sustainable success, not burning yourself out chasing approval.

Capricorn Sun & Rising:

Cap, the Universe just handed you a giant map… are you ready to follow it? Mercury,  the Planet of Communication, enters Libra on the 18th, illuminating your career zone  for the next three weeks, and since the upcoming Virgo solar eclipse eclipse is ruled by  Mercury, these conversations at work are infused with destiny. You may have to  advocate for yourself in boardrooms or with authority figures, but the clarity you bring  is exactly what’s needed. Balance ambition with diplomacy, and you’ll realize that  sometimes the strongest move is the one that unites rather than divides.

Then comes Venus in Virgo on the 19th, magnifying the Virgo solar eclipse on the 21st  in your expansion sector. This eclipse wants you to take a leap, but in true Virgo  fashion, it’s a calculated leap. Whether it’s higher education, publishing, or international  opportunities, you’re being nudged to break out of routines and chase a dream that’s  been tugging at you. Venus softens the edge, reminding you that it’s safe to dream  bigger while still being practical. This isn’t escapism — it’s self-devotion and  sustainable elevation.

Aquarius Sun & Rising:

Aquarius, the winds of change are blowing straight through your soul, and there’s no  stopping them. Mercury’s entrance into Libra on the 18th turns your attention to  expansion, travel, and philosophy. Since the upcoming Virgo solar eclipse is ruled by  Mercury, the themes of What do you believe? Where are you headed? Who do you  want to become? are taking center stage. Your answers are shifting, and that’s okay.  Eclipses aren’t here to preserve your comfort zone; they’re here to stretch you out of  them.

Meanwhile, Venus, the Planet of Love, enters Virgo on the 19th, syncing with the  upcoming solar eclipse in your intimacy and merging sector. For you, this final eclipse  of 2025 is about depth, trust, and transformation. Who are you letting in, and who are  you keeping out? Venus encourages you to refine how you share your resources, love,  and energy. Sunday’s eclipse could bring breakthroughs in intimacy, financial  partnerships, or even healing generational wounds. Think of this as a cosmic detox:  only what’s real, mutual, and nourishing can stay.

Pisces Sun & Rising:

Pisces, brace yourself… you’re at the heart of this week’s cosmic drama. Mercury’s  move into Libra on the 18th activates your intimacy and shared-resources zone,  sharpening conversations around trust, debt, or emotional bonds. Since the upcoming  Virgo solar eclipse rules this week and directly opposes your sign, these dialogues  aren’t casual — they’re karmic. Expect revelations in your closest bonds. Some will  deepen, others may dissolve. Trust the unfolding.

Venus entering Virgo on the 19th amplifies Sunday’s Virgo solar eclipse in your  relationship zone. For you, this is relationship reset energy. Whether it’s romantic,  platonic, or professional, the eclipse is asking you to plant seeds of honesty and  commitment in your partnerships. Venus softens the lessons, reminding you that love  thrives in the details: showing up, listening, compromising. This is about building  connections that can weather storms. If someone exits your life now, it’s making space  for someone more aligned with your evolving self.

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Ulta’s 21 Days of Beauty sale — one of the year’s most highly anticipated shopping events — is in its final days. From now until September 18, there will be flash sales every day with 50% off different products, from makeup and skincare to hair and beauty tools.

But here’s the exciting twist: Alongside these daily 24-hour markdowns, the retailer is also introducing Weekly Beauty Steals, giving you an entire week to snag discounts on additional cult favorites. In other words, this is the perfect opportunity to score an excellent deal on everything you’ve been eyeing for your beauty cabinet, including investment purchases and holy grail restocks.

With three whole weeks of epic beauty offers, there’s a lot to choose from. Luckily, our team of editors has combed through the entire sale calendar to highlight the deals truly worth your attention — and your money. Expect rare discounts on everything from premium hairstyling tools to signature scents, and first-time savings on new-to-sale brands like Polite Society, Kylie Cosmetics, NARS, Sacheu, and many others.

All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.

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Glow Recipe Just Dropped A "Cactus" Snail Serum

Amika's First-Ever Fragrance Mist Is Here

I’m a pretty active girl. As someone who’s insulin resistant, I walk three times a day, about 30 minutes after every meal, to regulate my blood sugar, and I strength-train Monday through Friday. But you wouldn’t know this from my social media. There are no post-workout selfies or Fitness app screenshots of my step count. Movement just feels like a normal, everyday part of my life — and, to be honest, the faded leggings and stretched-out sports bras I usually wear aren’t exactly Instagram-worthy. But I have been feeling a whole lot cuter since trying Becky G’s Fabletics collection.

Earlier this year, the Mexican-American artist launched a capsule with the active lifestyle brand that’s functional for workouts but also stylish enough for casual, streetwear looks. Inspired by Becky G’s L.A. upbringing and Latina roots, the line is bold, vibrant, and effortlessly cool. The pieces are designed to transition easily from fitness to day‑to‑day life. And, like intended, I’ve been using it for both.

On a recent trip to Thailand, I threw on the Principal Low Impact Bra with the PureLuxe Mini Skirt in buttery yellow for a resort brunch and kept it on for a post-meal cardio session. Another day, I wore the PureLuxe Halter Mini Dress in crisp white for an impromptu photo shoot at the resort’s rooftop boxing gym, followed by a few (very uncoordinated) rounds at the heavy bag. In these pieces, I felt both comfortable and confident.

“Each piece is meant to bring forth a sense of bold confidence, whether walking down the street with your friends and family or in a workout studio of your choice,” Becky G told Women’s Wear Daily back in February, when the capsule first launched.

Since then, the collaboration has expanded with additional drops, including styles made from Fabletics’ PureLuxe fabric, which offers a soft feel with just the right amount of compression. Click through to see the standout pieces I tried and why I’m basically living in them these days.

All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.

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Seven months ago, Aliyah Jones, a 26-year-old creative from Washington, DC, published a documentary on LinkedIn titled “Corporate Catfish” and rocked the professional networking platform. Here, Jones, a young African American woman, created a fake LinkedIn account of a white woman for eight months and found the catfish account had more recruiter enquiries than her real profile. “I was tired of not getting hired and being overlooked,” she explained to Unbothered. “I studied for interviews religiously, showed up on time, got stood up, traveled across cities, made it to the final round, and still got nothing. After a while, it stopped feeling like a coincidence and started feeling like a pattern. That’s when I decided to run an experiment.”

In Corporate Catfish, Jones claimed someone told her she ‘‘wasn’t corporate enough. Expanding on this experience, she says: “Someone on LinkedIn popped into my DMs and sent me a voice memo. They policed my tone and told me I’m ‘not corporate enough’ and should present myself that way if I want to be taken seriously. That moment said a lot. Because what does ‘corporate enough’ even mean? Sounding less Black, real or more robotic? I was showing up as myself, and that made some people uncomfortable. Being corporate should mean being competent, communicative, and respectful; not silencing your personality, culture, or humanity. Corporate culture is still rooted in this outdated blueprint that prioritizes assimilation over authenticity. It’s time we built something better.”

Jones says the response to her documentary has been “mostly positive,” but she still gets “harassed daily via email, LinkedIn DMs, etc”. “But what keeps me going is realising that this wasn’t just my story, as many people have felt unseen, unheard, or undervalued in corporate spaces.”

Sadly, whilst racial discrimination against Black people at the workplace is nothing new (and more at risk in the age of Trump’s DEI policies), AI technology seems to be exacerbating the issue.

As well as being discriminated against via LinkedIn, Aliyah noticed AI-powered résumé scanners on sites like Indeed and ZipRecruiter were “bumping my applications to the abyss,” She explained further that it is “likely because [AI] is trained on a narrow set of keywords and experiences that don’t always line up with the diverse ways Black folks describe our skills. Recruiters also ghosted me after automated video-screening tools flagged my tone or facial expressions as “too informal”, as there are tools that score your smile and eye contact. There were also weird quirks on niche platforms, side-channel recruiter hubs, and even Slack communities where I was tagged as an “outlier” before they even spoke to me. The system isn’t built for all of us yet, and it’s more subtle than “name bias.”

The documentary has also given Jones an epiphany: “I haven’t even looked at a job since releasing the documentary. I was exhausted, so instead, I created my lane. I’m focused on content creation and working as a contractor, helping businesses with video editing and social media strategy. What I learned through all of this is that sometimes the most radical thing you can do is stop begging to be let in and start carving out space where you’re seen.”

Aliyah Jones is still trying to tackle tech discrimination within the job market. “I’m currently raising funds for an extended version of Corporate Catfish. This time, I’m tapping into the stories of other Black professionals across industries who’ve faced bias, erasure, and double standards at work. It’s not just about LinkedIn; it’s about how systemic racism shows up across platforms, hiring tools, “diversity” pipelines that lead nowhere, and everyday microaggressions.” Aliyah is also open to donations to help fund the documentary.

Dr. Adeshola Cole is CEO and Founder of Tritek Academy, a global tech training company that empowers individuals, particularly from underrepresented backgrounds, to break into the tech industry.

Sharing what partly inspired her to enter the tech world over eight years ago, she explains: “The lack of visible support and mentorship, especially for Black professionals in the industry. I wanted to create a space that trains people in technology and surrounds them with a community of encouragement.”

“It often reflects the biases of its creators, which can have real-world consequences for minority communities,” Cole expands, explaining her major concern regarding tech discrimination.“We’ve seen facial recognition systems that misidentify Black faces at a significantly higher rate than white faces. [For example], the case of Joy Buolamwini, a Black computer scientist at MIT, whose research exposed the racial bias in commercial facial recognition software, which couldn’t accurately detect her face until she wore a white mask.”

“Similarly, algorithms used in hiring or healthcare have shown racial bias because the data sets they are trained on are not inclusive. For Black women, that can mean being overlooked, misdiagnosed, or outright excluded in systems meant to serve everyone. This is why diversity and representation in tech development are so critical, not just in users, but in the teams who design and train these systems.”

Speaking on how Tritek Academy considers diversity in training tech experts, Adeshola says: “Our programs are designed with non-tech professionals in mind, and we place a strong emphasis on accessibility, cultural relevance, and real-world readiness. Everyone is supported, regardless of their background, and we have systems to ensure no one is left behind.”

Advising recruiters using online job application platforms, Dr Cole says: “Review your hiring tools and processes through the lens of equity. That means asking whether your job descriptions, screening algorithms, and interview processes are inclusive and free from bias. Avoid language that leans heavily toward one demographic or assumes access to certain opportunities. Use blind screening where possible to minimise unconscious bias, and train your teams to recognise how systemic inequality might appear in a CV, gaps in employment, foreign qualifications, etc. Most importantly, diversify your recruiting teams and challenge traditional notions of “fit.”

Given the prevalence of tech discrimination, how should Black women navigate job application platforms? “Know your worth and don’t shrink yourself to fit into spaces that were never built with you in mind,” Cole advises.“Be strategic, tailor your CV and profile to match each opportunity, showcase measurable achievements, and use keywords that align with the roles you’re applying for. Build your network, as often opportunities come from relationships. If you suspect discrimination, document it. Take screenshots, keep a record of your applications and responses, and raise concerns with the platform’s support or inclusion team. You can also connect with advocacy groups and legal bodies that support fair hiring practices.”

We also reached out to LinkedIn enquiring about their discrimination policy. They pointed me towards ⁠Responsible AI Principles, which reads: “We work to ensure that our use of AI benefits all members fairly, without causing or amplifying unfair bias.” The ⁠Job Policies page includes a clause on discrimination: “LinkedIn prohibits discrimination in job posts based on protected characteristics, including age, gender, gender identity, religion, ethnicity, race, national origin, disability, sexual orientation, and any other basis protected under law. In a jurisdiction where it is legally permissible to do so, LinkedIn may permit language in posts expressing preference for members of certain groups historically disadvantaged in hiring in that location.”

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Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: a software engineer who makes $150,000 per year and who spends some of her money this week on iced black tea.

Occupation: Software engineer
Industry: Technology
Age: 23
Location: Santa Clara, CA
Salary: $150,000
Assets: Savings: $40,000; investments: $20,000; 401(k): $10,000.
Debt: $0
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $3,400
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: $2,000 (I share a two-bed house with my parents and we split the rent 60/40, as I have the bigger room).
Loan Payments: $0
Internet: $20 (my half).
Utilities: $50 (my half).
Phone Plan: $10
Car Insurance: $50 (it’s my parents’ car and insurance went up when they added my name, so I pay the difference).
Renters’ Insurance: $10 (my half).
Health Insurance: $20 (remaining premium is covered by my employer).

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Both my parents attended college, chose STEM majors, and graduated top of their class. It was expected that I would do the same. I majored in computer science at a well-respected university in the field. I also received a merit scholarship that covered my entire tuition for all of my years in college. I only had to cover rent and food. For my first year, my parents gave me money to cover these living expenses. During my second year, I worked a part-time job as a software engineer intern and used that income to cover living expenses. I kept this part-time through the remainder of college.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
Growing up, my parents spoke about spending habits and the importance of saving. We lived extremely frugal lives and tried to save as much money as we could. For example, nearly all my clothes were bought second-hand, and we tuned our diet for the week based on what was on sale at the grocery store. Still, we were never worried about money. My parents made it clear that our frugal lifestyle was not because we lacked money, but rather we wanted to save for rainy days and future purchases, such as my college and their retirement. After I got my first job, my parents taught me about various investment options, such as CDs, treasury bonds, mutual funds, and day trading. Under their supervision, I placed some day trades to gain familiarity with trading and acclimate myself to the associated risk. If I lost money on some trades, they helped me understand my mistakes and gave pointers on how I could offset the loss. For instance, one of their mantras is that if a stock we buy goes into a loss, unless the company is in dire circumstances (e.g., a lawsuit), it’s usually better to hold. “A high tide in the market will lift all stocks, just wait for it and then settle the trade,” they say.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was a part-time software engineering internship I took at college. I took the job primarily so I could show something on my resume when applying for summer internships.

Did you worry about money growing up?
No, I knew my parents had a good grasp on our finances. While our lifestyle was modest, they ensured I had everything I needed. They also reassured me that we had enough for rainy days. I remember there were a couple of months where my dad was out of work, yet they never showed any signs of stress or shared any concerns about money. “This is part of life”, they said, “we have saved enough for such rainy days, so don’t worry. And remember, this time will pass, and it’ll be back to normal.”

Do you worry about money now?
Kind of. I have a solid job, decent savings, and with my frugal/minimalist lifestyle, I am not worried about money in the short term. Long-term is another story. With the rise of AI, it’s uncertain if software engineering is a good, sustainable career. If AI replaces my job or reduces my earning potential, I would definitely be in trouble, and that’s my greatest worry. Consequently, I am constantly worried about saving for the future.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I am still not financially independent. I live with my parents, and while I do pay the bills, I know they will happily cover for me if needed. Thus, I don’t feel the same level of responsibility as someone living by themselves. I do have a financial safety net; I have enough savings to cover my living expenses for a few months. Plus, I know my parents will help me out if needed.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My parents gave me $10,000 when I started college. I used some of that to cover my living expenses the first year of college and put the rest in a savings account.

Day One: Wednesday

7 a.m. — Wake up. I didn’t sleep too well last night. At 2:30 a.m., my dad’s phone rang. Apparently, one of his colleagues was panicking about his job and called my dad for advice. We typically keep our phones on full volume at night, expecting that people would only call us in emergencies at night, and we wouldn’t want to accidentally miss that. So, when the phone rang at 2:30 a.m., it rang loud enough to wake all of us up. To be honest, I was absolutely pissed at the colleague for calling at such an ungodly hour. I am not trying to be mean or belittle his worries. I sympathize with the colleague, but I think he should have waited until morning to call. Anyway, it took me a bit to fall back asleep after that.

8:10 a.m. — I eat plain oatmeal with a NutterButter peanut bar for breakfast and catch up on some emails before heading to the office. I take the bus to the office. The bus stop is a few miles from where I live, so I bike there in the morning. $2.50

12 p.m. — Lunch time!! My company offers free lunches every day, and today, they are serving burritos. I head over to the café with my team and grab two burritos, one for lunch and one for dinner (we often have leftovers and are allowed to take those home; that’s how I got the second burrito). I am very fortunate to work here. Along with a great work environment, the company offers many perks, like free lunches, which helps me keep my costs low.

2 p.m. — It’s the middle of the day, and I am so sleepy. I am literally dozing off on my desk, which is bad ’cause I have an aisle desk so everyone can see me as they walk by. I decide to step outside and take a short 10-minute walk. I stop by a cafe and order some iced black tea, hoping the caffeine in it will wake me up. $3

5 p.m. — The afternoon tea does the trick, and I survive the rest of the day without falling asleep. The next bus home is at 5:30 p.m., so I walk around for a bit. It’s really nice outside. The sun is out, there’s a cool breeze, and the tree leaves are swaying in the breeze. It’s a beautiful view.

5:30 p.m. — I take the bus home. There is a fair bit of traffic today, and the bus is moving at the speed of a snail on the freeway. The stop-and-go traffic gives me a headache, so I try to nap through it. $2.50

6:20 p.m. — I grab my bicycle from the bus and begin the last leg of the journey home. I usually walk home in the evenings.

7:20 p.m. — I reach home. I am a bit late; I am calling a friend at 7:30 p.m., and I need to wash up before the call, so I quickly hop in the shower.

7:35 p.m. — Shoot, I am late! I rush to call my friend and see that she texted saying she is late as well and wants to meet at 8 p.m. instead. Whew, that’s a relief. I heat up the burrito I got from the office for dinner. I also eat another NutterButter peanut bar as dessert. It’s no exaggeration to say that I absolutely love the NutterButter peanut bars.

9 p.m. — The call with my friend goes well. It’s just a casual “catch up on life”-type call. I watch some YouTube videos, mostly random clips from old-time goodies like Friends, Frasier, TBBT and Modern Family. At this point, I feel like I’ve watched entire seasons through scattered three-minute clips. I finally head to bed around 9:30 p.m.

Daily Total: $8

Day Two: Thursday

7:20 a.m. — I wake up and make a quick breakfast (same as yesterday). I forgot to watch the company’s quarterly meeting yesterday, so I watch the first part of the meeting while having breakfast.

8:20 a.m. — I head off to the bus stop to take the bus to work. $2.50

12:30 p.m. — Grab lunch with my team. Today they are serving veg fried noodles and gai lan (Chinese broccoli). I also pack up some leftover kale salad and wild rice for dinner. I took a walk around the office building before lunch. Someone biked past me and dropped their phone. A car was heading towards us and almost ran over the phone. Looking back, I am a little bothered that I didn’t try to pick up the phone as soon as I heard it hit the road. The car was 10-20 seconds away at that point and traveling at 15 mph, so it surely would have stopped for me. For some reason, though, the thought didn’t even occur to me. Maybe I was spaced-out during the walk, so it didn’t register?

4:30 p.m. — I want to head home early today, so I call it a day and take the bus back. $2.50

7p.m. — I am home. I didn’t pack a lot for dinner, so I need to cook something. I think lentils would pair nicely with the wild rice, so I cook some. I eat a banana in the meantime and watch the remainder of the quarterly meeting.

8 p.m. — I am feeling sleepy, but I have some long-running tests whose results I need for work tomorrow, so I need to stay awake until those tests finish. I try to distract myself by playing Scrabble online. I haven’t played in a while, and I am rusty. For some reason, I have no issues coming up with words when writing this diary, but during the game, I was struggling to come up with any words. I give up after a bit of struggle and play solitaire instead.

9:30 p.m. — My tests finally finished. I head to bed. Good night!

Daily Total: $5

Day Three: Friday

7 a.m. — Good morning! I am really excited about today. First off, it’s Friday, the best day of the week, and I am going swimming in the afternoon. I found that there’s a community pool not far from my office and the first hour of swimming is free for newcomers, so I signed up. I used to love swimming as a kid and swam nearly every day as a child. I stopped swimming in middle school (that’s 10 years ago now) so I am excited to go swimming today.

8:20 a.m. — I do my usual commute to the office. $2.50

11:30 a.m. — I plan to swim from 2 p.m. to 3 p.m., and I heard it’s best to eat a couple of hours before swimming, so I head for an early lunch. We have veg fried noodles again. I grab some for lunch and some veg noodles and tofu for dinner. Working from the office on Fridays just feels different. There are a lot of kids at the office today; I guess school hasn’t started yet. The kids certainly lighten the mood, and it’s so fun watching them.

2 p.m. — Swimming time! I walk over to the pool and change into the swimsuit. Ok, it’s clearly been a while since I swam, because besides the swimsuit, I completely forgot everything else required for swimming, including a cap, googles, and even a plastic bag to carry my wet swimsuit afterwards. Still, I have my heart set on swimming today, and I dive in.

3:15 p.m. — It’s a good swim. I was able to do two minutes a lap, which I think is ok considering I haven’t swum in years and was doing breaststroke, the slowest of the strokes. I grab a trash bag for my wetsuit and head back to the office.

4 p.m. — I am hungry again. The swim did a number on me, and I suspect my whole body will be sore tomorrow. I head over to the office cafe to see if there’s any leftovers that I could eat, and I find a PB&J sandwich. I actually didn’t know we stocked sandwiches. Maybe it’s a Friday thing? Anyway, I eat the sandwich and some of the noodles I had packed for dinner.

5 p.m. — I am attending a drawing session someone arranged at the office. I want to make new friends, and I think this is a good opportunity to meet people. Currently, I only talk to my college friends, and our conversations feel distant as we are scattered all over the country and are at different stages in life: some of them are in a master’s program, so they are still in a college mindset. Others are a bit older and are thinking about serious relationships, and yet others are extremely career-minded. I am personally not too career focused. I want a good career, but I am in no hurry to climb the corporate ladder. I have never been on a date and am definitely not looking for serious relationships. Anyway, these life differences are definitely the elephant in the room in my college friend group. We all see it and it’s been getting harder and harder to all meet up, so I am still trying to find a new social group that fits me, with people at a similar stage.

6 p.m. — I am on the bus, heading home. The drawing session was ok. Everyone was focused on drawing, and there weren’t many side conversations. The drawing session was actually a class on shading techniques, so it felt rude to start a conversation when someone was teaching. I am debating whether I should attend the next session. On one hand, the next session will likely also be a lesson, and if so, it will be hard to get to know people and form friendships. On the other hand, friendships take time to develop, and maybe, with each session, we’ll reveal just a little bit about each other. Then after a few weeks, I will have a rough idea if I hit it off with anyone. We’ll see… $2.50

6:30 p.m. — The bus drops me off. I am tired from all the swimming, so I skip the normal walk and bike home.

7:30 p.m. — I watch YouTube shorts by Steve Ho (a ET tech turned stand-up comedian, highly recommend), waiting for bedtime.

10 p.m. — Bedtime! I find it interesting how, as a kid, I hated bedtime, and yet as an adult, I look forward to it.

Daily Total: $5

Day Four: Saturday

6 a.m. — I am surprised I am up this early. I am usually not up until 8 a.m. on the weekends. Yesterday’s hypothesis was right: the swimming did a number on me and my whole body aches today. I want to do some morning stretches, but just as I try to touch my toes, I feel pain going up my entire leg. It’s not a sharp pain, but a dull pain radiating from everywhere. I lie on my bed again and just watch YouTube. YouTube recommends a movie called Ne Zha. It’s free so I’ll give it a try.

8 a.m. — I finish Ne Zha and OMG it was so good. The movie highlights the conflict between destiny, fate and will power, while also touching on the powerful role societal perspectives play in our lives. I definitely recommend watching the movie.

9 a.m. — I have a NutterButter peanut bar for breakfast. No oatmeal today. I also roast some peanuts on the side as I want to try making masala peanuts. I found a recipe for it a few days ago and it looked good. I struggle to follow recipes though as I just want to do my own thing. I read the recipe for the basic ingredients and then come up with my own cooking instructions. For instance, the recipe suggests coating raw peanuts in batter and frying them, but I don’t like oily food, so instead I roast the peanuts first and then dip them in the batter and shallow fry them. I pack up my masala peanuts; this will be my snack over the weekend.

11:30 a.m. — Lunch time. As much as I like the office food and am grateful that it’s free, I do genuinely enjoy cooking. Today, we’ll be making tofu rice.

2 p.m. — Since I stepped out for swimming on Friday, I have some work left. I’ll be working on and off for the next two hours.

4 p.m. — I head out for an evening walk. I stop by the library on my walk. I don’t have a particular book in mind so I just grab the first fiction book I see in the new arrivals section. I check out A Stranger in the Earth by Marcel Theroux.

7 p.m. — I am not too hungry so I have an apple for dinner and rewatch Ne Zha. I enjoyed the rewatch too. This time, I focused on the story of the second protagonist (Ao Bing), noticing how both protagonists are similar in that society forces a destiny upon: Society views the main protagonist (Ne Zha) as a demon and Ao Bing as the hero. However, in the end, Ne Zha comes out a hero because he rebelled against his chosen destiny while Ao Bing submits to destiny and is forced to commit a heinous act.

10 p.m. — I head to bed.

Daily Total: $0

Day Five: Sunday

7:30 a.m. — Wake up. I eat some of the masala peanuts for breakfast. I don’t have anything planned for today. I enjoyed yesterday’s movie, so I search online for the sequel.

8 a.m. — I found a site hosting Ne Zha 2 for free. It’s in Chinese with English subtitles. The subtitles are decent, so I am happy.

12 p.m. — My parents head out on a week-long trip. I am not joining them and am a bit glad. Traveling is not my thing: the planning, the packing, the parading between places is exhausting. By the end, I would need a vacation from the vacation. Plus, now I finally get the whole house to myself, and I know just what I am going to do now: sing my favorite songs out loud (how many of y’all thought party time? Lol).

2 p.m. — I take a break from singing and eat lunch. I make rice and lentils for lunch, and rewatch episodes from random Disney shows like Girl Meets World and Liv And Maddie . I don’t subscribe to any streaming services, so I watch the free episodes posted on YouTube or DailyMotion.

4:30 p.m. — I head out for the usual evening walk.

6 p.m. — I am back from the walk. I spend the rest of the evening reflecting on the week and this year, evaluating my life plan, I guess. Everyone I know seems to have some life plan, even if it’s just getting married or pursuing a career goal, but I don’t have any such plans or goals. Maybe this is just FOMO talking, but I think I should have a vision for life. ​I spend some time writing down pros and cons for various concrete life goals to see if there’s one or two that I can pick for myself.

9:30 p.m. — I don’t feel particularly drawn to any life goals just yet, so I call it a day and head to bed.

Daily Total: $0

Day Six: Monday

8 a.m. — It’s the Monday morning blues. I will work from home today because I got up late, so there’s no way I can catch the bus, and besides, I am not as energetic right now.

8:30 a.m. — I have meetings from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., so I have to prepare something for lunch right now. I default back to rice and lentils since it’s easy to make.

9:45 a.m.  — I just finished my team meeting. I really enjoy this weekly meeting. We start by sharing our weekend, voting on the best weekend story and it’s so fun. It snaps me out of my Monday morning blues. Next, I have a couple of weekly stand-ups, one for each of the projects I work on. I am mostly on track with all my projects, so no pressure.

2 p.m. — Lunch time! I got a bunch of comments on my code and I want to address them all quickly, in hopes that I can submit the code by EOD. So, I munch down lunch quickly and start coding.

6 p.m. — The work day is complete. I had to reorganize a lot of my code to address all the comments, so I have to make sure all the tests still pass. It’s late though, so this is tomorrow’s problem. I head out for an evening walk.

7:30 p.m. — I am back from my walk. I play some songs and sing along for a while to get my mood up. The work day was decent today, but I just don’t feel as energetic or happy as I usually do.

8 p.m. — I snack on some NutterButter peanut bars, read A Stranger in the Earth for a few hours, and then head to bed around 10 p.m.​

Daily Total: $0

Day Seven: Tuesday

7 a.m. — Buzz, buzz, buzz… Buzz, buzz, buzz. ​I tumble out of bed to check on my phone. My grandfather is calling! He just wanted to check in, and I am so happy he called. I catch him up on my week, and he shares some fun little stories of my cousin (my grandfather lives with my cousin’s family).

8:20 a.m. — I head to the office. $2.50

12 p.m. — I have a meeting at 12:30 p.m., so I grab a quick lunch by myself. We have Indian cuisine today: spinach tofu, coconut dal, rice, and naan. As usual, I pack some for dinner.

4:30 p.m. — I am nearly done for the day. I need to run two tests to verify that my feature works, but both tests take over an hour to run. I don’t want to stay in the office that long, so I’ll take the early bus home and run the tests from home. $2.50

6 p.m. — The evening is hot and humid with absolutely no breeze, so by the time I walk home, I am covered in sweat. I definitely regret coming home early; I should have stayed in the office longer, so at least the sun wouldn’t have been out during my walk home.​ Anyway, I start my tests and have dinner.

9 p.m. — I don’t have much else to do today. I can’t find anything good to watch on YouTube, and I don’t feel like reading either. I call it a day and hit the sack.

Daily Total: $5

Conclusion

“From a spending perspective, I did well. I didn’t spend on anything besides bare minimum living expenses. However, I need to find an alternate mode of transportation. With a car, it would only cost me $1 in gasoline to go to the office. The bus costs more than double that. However, I don’t own a car. I pay for car insurance, but that’s insurance for my parent’s car, which I can only use on weekends or in emergencies. Anyway, I need to reduce the transportation cost and either get a car or find someone to carpool with. On a personal level, I need to socialize more and have more fun, especially on the weekend. I am just going with the flow right now, and I worry I’ll end up as a 30 year old saying, “I went through my 20s, the best years of my life, but I forgot to make them the best years of my life.” Joining the art session is definitely a step in the right direction and I’ll stick with it.”

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