I’ll admit that I’m not the biggest AI enthusiast. Among writers like me, AI is sort of like the big bad (unspoken) wolf that threatens to rob us of our livelihoods. So when I was given the chance to create my own bespoke ‘dream scent’ with the help of AI robots, you’d best believe I approached the experience with a healthy dose of skepticism. But as someone who’s always struggled to find her signature scent, and who has a very personal relationship with fragrance through synesthesia (I can see what some perfumes smell like), I was also intrigued — and up for the challenge.
Enter: Algorithmic Perfumery by EveryHuman, which allows users to create their unique fragrance with the help of AI. The brainchild of Anahita Mekanik — who had previously worked alongside perfumers at various fragrance brands — and ‘artist-technologist’ Frederick Duerinck, it’s self-described as “The first global AI-guided scent-making platform.” The duo’s driving motivation? To democratize the fragrance industry so anyone can become a creator. “Our mission is about creative agency,” Mekanik tells me. “We believe every human is a creator and should be able to create something that reflects them, especially something as intimate and historically exclusive as perfume,” adds Mekanik.
It might sound ironic, but despite being an AI brand, the team insist Algorithmic Perfumery was also developed to bring more of a personal touch to perfumery: “The platform is an enabler to create something truly personal and not something marketed to you,” Mekanik explains. “You borrow the algorithm and collaborate with it.”
The process felt, admittedly, like a strange fever dream. But it also had me hooked.
The algorithm they speak of? It’s one I now have firsthand experience with. The process starts with setting up an account with EveryHuman, followed by a series of (increasingly unexpected) questions designed to match you to scent combinations that are just right for you. These include multiple-choice prompts such as, ‘I answered these questions…’ with options like ‘to impersonate my favorite character,’ or ‘from the perspective of one of my multiple personalities’. Then there are more specific questions about the kind of scents you like (florals? Woody notes? Smoky scents?). You also rank yourself on a sliding scale for queries like, ‘Do you want your perfume to be more night or day?’, and ‘How would you describe yourself: analytical or intuitive?’
This part of the process felt, admittedly, like a strange fever dream, and I wondered what the relevance of which shapes I prefer or how emotionally stable I consider myself was to the creation of a perfume. But it also had me hooked: as someone who has a level of synesthesia, where one sense (like smell) automatically sparks a reaction in another (like sight or taste), I openly embrace the creative connection between smell, memory, emotion, and personality.
After completing my weird-yet-wonderful questionnaire, I waited for my three personalized scent vials to arrive by mail. Intrigued to see how well a computer programme could truly know what my nose liked, I was unsure what to expect when I pulled back the sleeve of my box. In true Goldilocks and the Three Bears style, when I smelled my scents, it turned out to be a case of too much, too little and just enough.
While my perfume reminded me of certain scents I’d already owned and loved, there was something I couldn’t quite put my finger on about placing the smell of this, most likely because it was a completely bespoke creation.
The first, a fruity, floral concoction blending clean white musk, spring-like apple blossom, and neroli (a lightweight, citrusy floral), was just too strong for me. Both apple (or orange) blossom and neroli are two notes I actively dislike because they are very potent florals that can overwhelm other ingredients, so I wish there’d been space within the questionnaire to mention notes you want to avoid. The next, with rose, peach, and again, more white musk, smelled old-fashioned to me and didn’t give me much.
Luckily, my third creation, a woody, smoky elixir combining incense (1.6% perfume oil) and tobacco (16.7% perfume oil), was perfectly up my street. It smelt rich and seductive when sprayed onto the skin, but the powdery and soft, delicate blush notes added a touch of sweetness when it dried down on my skin. While it reminded me of certain scents I’d already owned and loved, there was something I couldn’t quite put my finger on about placing the smell of this, most likely because it was a completely bespoke creation — something that made up for it not coming in a fancy bottle.
I loved that the fragrance lingered on not only my skin, but in the air and on my clothes when I sprayed it, which meant the 5ml size (FYI, you can buy individual 30ml and 50ml bottles, too) lasted much longer. This one really felt like my own personal secret scent that smelled expensive, cool and, of course, unique. I couldn’t wait to wear it out and answer, “Oh, I created it myself,” to anyone asking where it was from.
My favorite part of the process was the 20-minute follow-up one-to-one ‘scent coaching’, essentially a Zoom call, which all users have access to as part of the £45 experience that includes three creations. Speaking with a perfumer at the brand, you have the opportunity to tweak your fragrances in tune with your preferences and then receive your new options in the mail several days afterward. Alternatively, you can change certain concentrations yourself online if you’d prefer to skip the call. We decided the fruity, floral scent — labelled 01 — needed to lose the blossom and white musk, and integrate florals I preferred, whereas we agreed my favorite, 03, would benefit from being a little more powdery. The personal touch this added to the process was a surprise to me, as I always insisted that I’d hate anything touched by AI.
This is one of the brand’s biggest selling points — and a key appeal of AI’s role in perfumery overall. Instead of taking away the intimacy and individuality of perfume making (by handing it over to a robot), it actually opens the doors for more: “More people want fragrances that feel personal; something beyond what they’ll find on a department store shelf,” says perfumer Gustavo Romero. “They want to smell like themselves, or like a specific moment in their lives. AI makes that kind of custom approach more accessible.”
AI perfumery brands — along with several industry insiders — also agree that this introduction can complement the work of top perfumers. Recent examples of this — in the mainstream, no less — include the creation of Prada’s Paradoxe Virtual Flower fragrance. Master perfumers Nadège Le Garlantezec, Shyamala Maisondieu, and Antoine Maisondieu worked alongside AI as a ‘creative partner’ to develop their AI jasmine accord.
Thibaud Crivelli, founder and creative director at perfume brand Maison Crivelli, says that although he doesn’t use AI in his creative process, it allows perfumers the freedom to use it if needed: “The talent of the most renowned perfumers relies on the duality between science and artistry,” he tells me. “If AI becomes a technical tool supporting the creative process, it could complement the artistic approach of perfumers and not replace it.”
For Alex Wiltschko, founder and CEO of Generation by Osmo, a fragrance house backed by Olfactory Intelligence (OI), AI is democratizing the fragrance industry for brands and creators of all sizes — and making it far more efficient. “It has streamlined fragrance creation, automating repetitive tasks, which allows perfumers to spend less time on manual toil and more time on crafting bespoke fragrances,” he tells me. The future, he says, is limitless: “There have only been 100,000 fragrances ever made because the traditional process is costly and time-consuming, but I want that number to be millions.”
The downside? The more manufactured ‘bespoke’ fragrances there are out there, the less individualistic — and appealing — they become. “Ironically, the more people crave something unique, the more they seem to value the human touch behind it,” believes Romero. The double-edged sword doesn’t stop there. Amanda Carr, a fragrance writer and trend forecaster, points out that there is real concern within the fragrance industry that while AI systems could improve efficiency, they may also result in job losses for the humans they are replacing. This ultimately could lead to a loss of personalized creativity, notes Crivelli.
I agree that the greatest tool for finding your signature scent is your nose, not a computer. But AI systems are now helping to put us on the right track and to verbalize what we actually like. Whether the complexities of AI perfumery are of concern to you or not, one thing we can all agree on is that brands like EveryHuman — and their Algorithmic Perfumery system — are bringing something new to the table, which allows us to become the perfumers. These developments also serve as a reminder that within the world of beauty, technology continues to be at the heart of modern innovation — and it shows no signs of slowing down.
This story was originally published on Refinery29 UK.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
I’m a naturally nosy person. I enjoy eavesdropping on conversations in restaurants, stealing glances at WhatsApp messages on the Tube and eyeing up other people’s lunches in the office. But as R29’s deputy beauty director, I’m most intrigued by everyone’s beauty routines, specifically those that take place in the private moments before bed.
Lately, I’ve been drawn to “get unready with me” videos over GRWM. Dermatologists have recently extolled the virtues of evening showers over morning ones, while beauty enthusiasts have popularized the concept of the “morning shed”: removing the skin, hair and other beauty products that they slept in the night before. (Heatless curls need to be unravelled, lip tints peeled off and fake tan rinsed away.)
Whether you consider yourself a minimalist or a maximalist, the self-care advantages of a bedtime beauty routine aren’t to be sniffed at. With that in mind, I asked R29 staffers to share theirs with me. From the benefits of an unctuous lip mask to the underrated appeal of a water flosser, here’s everything the team uses before bed.
Depending on the time of the year, my skin will get a bit dry even after applying skincare, so I keep a bottle of Nocturnal’s Polar Night Renewal Serum, which helps my skin rejuvenate while I catch some beauty sleep. This is also when I apply lip balm to help hydrate my lips overnight — my favorite is Summer Fridays’ Lip Butter Balm in Sweet Mint. I absolutely swear by silk pillowcases, which make my bed feel like a sanctuary. I recently got married, so right now my husband and I are snoozing on monogrammed ones by Slip. I also got a sleep mask from Drowsy, a British brand, and it’s like a little pillow for your eyes. Bliss. My last sleep essential is my Oura ring, which has really helped me home in on my biometric stressors and encourage better sleep hygiene. The first thing I do every morning is check my Sleep Score, and nothing starts my day better than getting a crown (Oura-speak for above-average performance). What can I say? I’m just a Virgo who loves the satisfaction of a job well done!
DashDividers_1_500x100
Jacqueline Kilikita, beauty director
I can’t get into bed without washing the day off. In a bid to be more eco-friendly, I shelved my plastic body puff (which should be changed frequently and only ends up in landfill) for a silicone loofah, which can be cleaned and reused time and time again. It’s also replaced my physical exfoliating scrub. When it comes to shower gel, nothing beats Dove Pamper Body Wash With Shea Butter & Vanilla. The lather is rich and creamy and the smell is so comforting, I’m convinced it helps me fall asleep. When I’m dry, I slather my legs in Vaseline’s Gluta-Hya Flawless Glow Serum In Lotion, which absorbs in seconds, and apply foot cream. If I’m washing my hair, I reach for Typebea’s Strength & Length Shampoo and Strength & Length Conditioner, which I’m convinced have significantly boosted my slow hair growth, followed by what is the best hair oil of all time: Kérastase Elixir Ultime. Nothing makes my hair as soft and shiny.
For my hair, all I need to do is rough-dry it for a few minutes with the Shark FlexStyle, and it’s smooth and frizz-free. I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s changed both my hair and my life. Gone are the days of painstakingly blow-drying or straightening it before bed.
I always double cleanse to remove every single scrap of makeup and sunscreen; I love Dr. Idriss’ Soft Wash Complete Daily Cleanser, which is gentle on my reactive skin but cuts through even waterproof foundation and mascara. The evening is when I ramp up my skincare with retinoids to keep my hormonal skin in check. (I always floss and brush before applying my skincare so as not to rinse it away accidentally.) I’ve been using The Ordinary Retinal 0.2% Emulsion but recently I’ve graduated to tretinoin (a stronger prescription retinoid), recommended by consultant dermatologist Dr Alia Ahmed through Get Harley, an online dermatology service. I practice the sandwich method using a substantial moisturizer (currently Aestura Atobarrier365 Cream), putting one layer of face cream, followed by the retinoid and then another layer of face cream. Lastly, I apply a little cuticle oil to encourage stronger nails (L’Occitane Shea Nail and Cuticle Nourishing Oil) and turn out the light!
DashDividers_1_500x100
Venus Wong, senior writer
I can only fall asleep knowing that my skin and hair are sparkling clean, pillowy soft, and smell amazing — and I entrust a suite of products, primarily from Japanese and Korean brands, to help me achieve this goal. First, I double cleanse, starting with the Haruharu Wonder Black Rice Moisture Cleansing Oil, which is great at melting off my SPF and makeup without stripping my skin barrier, followed by Innisfree Cherry Blossom Glow Jam Cleanser. The latter leaves my face fresh but not too dry and I love the fruity-floral scent and rich lather. I’m all about heavily perfumed body washes and LUSH’s Sleepy Shower Gel never fails to help me unwind; the rich tonka and lavender scent is so soothing. My hair routine is pretty basic: I gravitate towards products that maintain hydration without weighing my hair down, and Living Proof’s Perfect hair Day (PhD) Hydrating Shampoo and Conditioner is my favorite combo lately. The proprietary ingredient mimics the benefits of silicone (without the buildup on the scalp), leaving my hair bouncy and squeaky clean without weighing it down.
The rest of my routine has been drastically pared down lately, as it’s been so hot, and I really can’t be bothered. When I get out of the shower, I spray Curél’s Deep Moisture Spray all over my body. Curél is a Japanese drugstore brand I’ve relied on since my teens and I’m really happy to see it become available everywhere now. Its products are rich in ceramides, which help repair the skin barrier and keep it supple and hydrated. I also like that this product can be sprayed upside down, which helps me reach the dry patches on my back. For the face, I do a “mini mask” by placing Mediheal’s Teatree Facial Toner Pads on my cheeks for several minutes. This was a skincare discovery I wrote about after a trip to Seoul last year; it’s a popular K-beauty hack for calming redness and acne, thanks to the tea tree essence. I follow with a sleeping mask so I can wake up with supple skin without doing tons of work. My nightly staple is Erno Lazlo’s Hydra-Therapy Memory Gel Sleep Mask, which has a fun, jello-like texture and plumps the skin with moisturizing vitamin E and prickly pear extract. On the weekends, I pamper myself with Dr. Barbara Sturm’s Everything Eye Patches as a treat for my under eyes, or use Dr.Jart+ Ceramidin Skin Barrier Moisturizing Mask if my skin has been particularly dry. For fragrance, I love the clean and feminine scent of Elizabeth Arden’s White Tea Eau Florale Eau de Toilette and douse myself in it before climbing into bed. I also spray Gisou’s Honey Infused Hair Perfume onto my ends, which provides me with sweet, comforting whiffs of honey when I toss and turn at night.
DashDividers_1_500x100
L’Oréal Blackett, Unbothered editor
My evening routine is all about relaxing before bed, scrubbing away the grime of the world, and plucking rogue hairs out of my chin. It’s not pretty, but a very functional routine to help me maintain my zen. I always start by getting my hair out of my face; the method varies depending on whether I have a sew-in or I’m wearing a half-wig or clip-ins. I usually take out my clips and hairpins, then put my hair into messy chunky twists to help prevent tangling, tie them back in a bobble, wrap with a silk scarf and cover with an extra-large bonnet I got at my local Afro beauty store. If my scalp needs it, I will add a hair serum (currently Cécred’s Nourishing Hair Oil) to tide me over until my next wash day or weave takedown.
Next up, I double cleanse to remove my makeup. I prefer a balm cleanser, such as Elemis’ Pro Collagen Cleansing Balm, then I go in with my trusty Simple Moisturizing Facial Wash. It’s non-drying, helps remove any lingering makeup and is affordable. I’ve used it since I was 12 — that’s my definition of a holy-grail product! I floss with dental picks, scrub my teeth with an electric brush and gargle with mouthwash — you know the drill. In the shower, I also double cleanse my body; I just don’t feel right without a good, long soak. First, I use a bar of antibacterial soap by Dettol. My grandma introduced me to Dettol baths as a kid, helping to keep acne on my chest and back clean, and it’s still a step I refuse to skip. For a good lather, I go in with Dove’s Deeply Nourishing Body Wash with an African net sponge made from nylon — they are really easy to keep clean and sanitary in your shower.
If I’m in the mood, I shave my legs, pits and bits to save me from doing it in the morning. A shower oil comes next. I’ve recently run out of the popular almond shower oil by L’Occitane, so I switched to ESPA’s Restorative Bath and Body Oil and it is perfect for before bed. You either add it directly to your bath or directly to your skin while wet, and the scent mix of essential oils makes me so sleepy. After hopping out of the shower, I speed through my skincare routine. Depending on the last time I dermaplaned, I will go in with my Venus dermaplaner to get rid of some of my peach fuzz (be careful, I’ve sliced my finger open with this thing multiple times).
After a shower, I use a microfiber-towel turban to let my hair slightly dry, before using a Yves Durif Vented Brush (my hairstylist Olya Iudina got me hooked on it; you can use it on both wet and dry hair). I will then moisturize my body while it’s still damp. I’m in love with the body oil from Officine Universelle Buly, the French brand that has gone viral for its personalized lip balm. It smells divine and is the best body oil I have ever used. It nourishes the skin without leaving it oily.
I alternate my skincare routine. Every other day, I start my nighttime prep by washing my face with a Dieux Baptism Gel Cleanser. It foams beautifully, leaves my skin feeling clean, and smells so good. I use the Glossier Milky Oil Makeup Remover to get rid of any eye makeup that may have lingered. The biggest issue that my skin faces is dehydration, so I don’t apply any serums or creams without spraying my face with Mario Badescu’s Facial Spray first to create a base layer of moisture. I will then follow it with Sunday Riley’s A+ High-Dose Retinoid Serum. Because my skin is on the drier side, face oils work best for me at night. Since it’s summer, though, I currently use a lighter Révive Moisturizing Renewal Oil, which leaves my skin plump without feeling too heavy or greasy in the heat. Once a week, I will switch the face oil for the Summer Fridays Jet Lag Mask and leave it on overnight.
Less is more when it comes to keeping my skin looking clear, so on alternate days I will strip my skincare routine down to three steps with Vintner’s Daughter’s The Ultimate Set: a gentle cleanser, an essence (which replaces my face spray) and a botanical serum (which I use as a face oil). While not cheap, Vintner’s Daughter is the GOAT; over the years, I’ve come back to its cult serum again and again for the way it makes my skin glow unlike anything else on the market. I also use a red light therapy mask from Solawave three times a week to even out my skin texture and calm any hormonal breakouts or irritation.
DashDividers_1_500x100
Esther Newman, affiliate writer
I love a good routine, especially when I’m preparing for bed. I like to shower at night so I can wash away the day and flush any unwanted energy down the drain. I like to make this a self-care ritual, so I’ll light a candle and add some soothing essential oils to the bottom of the shower. You can’t beat Neal’s Yard Remedies’ Women’s Balance, which is an intoxicating blend of patchouli, geranium, rose, and frankincense. It instantly soothes my mind and grounds me.
I’m typically pretty low-key when it comes to beauty and body care. If I’m wearing makeup, I’ll first cleanse with Bioderma Sensibio H2O Micellar Water on a reusable cotton pad. Once in the shower, I’ll double up with La Roche-Posay Toleriane Dermo Cleanser, which is perfect for my dry, sensitive skin. For my body, I also like a gentle and moisturizing body wash, and my latest favorite is the Naturium The Booster Hyaluronic Acid Body Wash. My skin doesn’t feel tight or itchy afterwards, and the hydration really lasts. I don’t even feel like I need to double up with a body cream, so that cuts out an extra step. If I’m washing my hair, I like the MONDAY Haircare Moisture Shampoo and Conditioner; my go-to since reviewing them back in 2021. I love the easy-to-use packaging (a must as a glasses wearer who struggles to see in the shower) and the hydrating, lightweight formula that doesn’t weigh my fine hair down. It leaves it bouncy and glossy.
Once out of the shower, I’ll throw my hair up in a microfiber towel to minimize frizz. In terms of skincare, I try to keep it simple, too. My hero product is the Tower 28 SOS Daily Rescue Facial Spray, which has transformed my skin, reducing bacteria and eradicating the stubborn texture along my chin and white spots around my nose. Once this dries down, I’ll follow with a hydrating serum (the Medik8 Liquid Peptides), and then slather on my favorite moisturizer, Charlotte Tilbury’s Magic Cream, and a LANEIGE lip mask.
Finally, it’s time to brush my teeth. After being told by my dentist that my usual electric toothbrush is adding too much pressure to my teeth, I’ve switched to a SURI Toothbrush, which is powerful but a lot more gentle — and quieter than other models.
DashDividers_1_500x100
Tanyel Mustafa, senior writer
No matter what time I go to bed — whether it’s 10 p.m. after an evening at home or 4 a.m. after going to a club — I will always wash my face and body. There’s nothing better than climbing into a clean bed, also feeling clean. I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth, cleanse my face, then shower. I use Emma Hardie Moringa Cleansing Balm or Naturium Purple Ginseng Cleansing Balm to remove my makeup. The Emma Hardie one is perfect for my dry skin as it cleanses without stripping moisture or irritating my eyes, but it is definitely a treat due to the price point. The Naturium one is a cheaper option that also works well with my skin. I’m not a double cleanser; I feel if a product can’t do it in one, it’s not a very good cleanser (controversial, I know).
If it’s a Sunday, I’ll apply a mask while in the shower. The two I currently have in rotation are The Outset Purifying Blue Clay Mask if my skin needs a deep cleanse and Tatcha Violet-C Radiance Mask for something a bit more gentle. Weekdays I skip the mask and go straight in with Nécessaire Eucalyptus The Body Wash, which has a relaxing scent and is gentle on skin. I go in with facial skincare immediately after drying off. First, it’ll be a serum of some kind, like The Ordinary Lactic Acid 10% if I want gentle exfoliation, or a high-strength vitamin C. Sometimes I skip this step and go straight to moisturizer. My favorite nourishing one is Charlotte Tilbury Magic Cream in the winter, and The Ordinary Natural Moisturizing Factors + HA for warmer weather. Both give my skin what it needs without feeling heavy, oily or clogging. I’m not an oil fan. Post-shower, I need to moisturize my body, which I thoroughly hate doing as it’s so boring but it’s good for reducing my seasonal eczema flare-ups. Aveeno Daily Moisturising Lotion does the job. Then I slather my lips in Glow Recipe Plum Plump Hyaluronic Gloss Balm. Finally, it’s time for bed with a silk pillowcase, which is a recent investment I’ve made as it’s better for skin and hair!
DashDividers_1_500x100
Victoria Montalti, associate fashion writer
My nighttime routine always starts with a shower and while none of the steps is particularly out of the norm, I do like to occasionally throw in a lavender shower steamer tablet to help unwind from stressful days. Afterwards, I spray It’s A 10 Miracle Leave-In Lite onto my hair and comb it through with my fingers to serve as a heat protectant before I dry it. But first, while my skin is still moist, I spray Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs Tanning Water all over my body! I’ve just started using Jergen’s Natural Glow Face Moisturizer on my face at night and in the morning, too, so I’m not two completely different shades. Next, I move on to drying my bob-length hair, which actually takes longer than you may think since I section it off for a nice blowdry (or else my hair will be super flat and get oilier quicker).
For my skincare routine, I typically keep it very minimal (a face mist and lip mask), but when I’m going all out, I’ll use Futurewise’s Slugging System (a three-step routine consisting of a hydrating face mist, barrier repair moisturizer, and moisture-locking slug balm). I just keep the slugging balm below my bangs so I don’t make them greasy. I finish off my routine with Laneige’s original Lip Sleeping Mask and Bouncy & Firm Sleeping Mask, which I use on my neck for some extra hydration. (And on the occasion that I have a stubborn breakout, I like using e.l.f’s Blemish Breakthrough Stick It to Zits Pimple Patches overnight, which is always super pleasing to remove the next morning.)
All that’s left to do is turn down for bed. I’ve been sleeping on satin pillowcases for years and I simply can’t turn back. They’re so silky smooth and cooling, and I find that I don’t wake up with crazy creases on my face, like you sometimes do with standard cotton pillowcases. To sweeten the deal, I spray ThisWorks Sleep Plus Pillow Spray onto my pillows, which makes them smell like lavender and chamomile and helps relax me even more for a good night’s rest.
This story was originally published on Refinery29 UK.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
As Addison Rae blasts in our headphones, hot dogs sizzle on the grill, sand collects in beach bags, and European vacation plans get finalized, we’re deep in summer mode. And at Refinery29, that means leaning into the good vibes (and hot temps) with fashion that matches the mood.
Ahead, find 27 editor-approved pieces we’re wearing on repeat — from reader-favorite brands like Lululemon, Madewell, and Vivaia to new discoveries like Chord, Shezza, and Anonymous Copenhagen.
All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.
“I bought these Lululemon shorts last year… and then again this year in more colors because I wear them nonstop. I recently picked up the black with white piping — they’re lightweight, breathable, and technically designed for tennis and running (I do neither). The mesh liner keeps me cool in 95-degree heat, and they work just as well with a comfy T-shirt and they do with a nicer top for work.” — Lisa Dionisio, Newsletter Director
Lululemon Court Rival High-Rise Short 3″, $, available at Lululemon
Onitsuka Tiger Mexico 66 Sneaker
“I’ve wanted these sneakers forever, and I’m so glad they’re finally in my summer shoe rotation. Famously worn by Uma Thurman in Kill Bill, the Mexico 66 silhouette is slim and sexy — and even better in this shiny silver hue. I added yellow hiking laces (a nod to the OG yellow pair), and now they make a statement with every single outfit.” — Alicia Lansom, Culture Editor
Onitsuka Tiger MEXICO 66 Sneakers, $, available at FarfetchPhoto: Courtesy of Alicia Lansom.
Tree of Life Peace Angel Dress
“I have never felt as pretty — or more myself — than I did in this dress. I truly felt like a fairy princess at a recent wedding, especially when I found a rose garden to twirl about in. It’s from Tree of Life, an Australian brand that creates the ethereal, boho clothes of my dreams. The corset-like cinch hugs my curves beautifully, but is fully adjustable, so it’s super comfortable (perfect for post-dinner bloating or dancing all night). Made of breathable cotton, it kept me cool even on a sweltering day. FYI: My dark purple version is no longer available, but the brand just launched this gorgeous chocolate brown iteration (and more colors are always dropping).” — Esther Newman, Affiliate Writer
“I’m extremely practical about summer shoes: I want lightweight sandals with real arch support and secure straps, preferably with a little lift. This pair ticks all the boxes. The heavily cushioned midsole weighs next to nothing and keeps my feet comfortable even after a whole day of walking around in the city. The tortoiseshell buckles look polished with some of my dressier outfits, and the slip-resistant outsole has come in handy during sudden British downpours.” — Venus Wong, Senior Writer
Lulu Resin-Buckle Leather Back-Strap Sandals, $, available at FitFlopPhoto: Courtesy of Venus Wong.
Aerie Good Day Button Down Shirt & Short
“I’ve been living in this matching Aerie set all summer long. The oversized button-down top and elastic-waist shorts don’t cling in the heat — a major win. The nautical stripes are a vibe, and while it’s my go-to beach coverup, I’ve also worn it to festivals and packed it for trips.” — Victoria Montalti, Associate Fashion Writer
Aerie Good Day Button Down Shirt, $, available at Aerie
Aerie Good Day Short, $, available at AeriePhoto: Courtesy of Victoria Montalti.
Ece London The Aphrodite Baroque Pearl Ring
“If you want jewelry that looks like it came from a Pirates of the Caribbean treasure chest, put Ece London on your radar.Think molten gold that looks washed ashore, mythological motifs, raw gemstones, and delicate hand-carved details. I picked out this baroque pearl ring to fulfill my fantasy of being a secret, landlocked mermaid (blame the solid diet of The Little Mermaid, H20: Just Add Water,and Aquamarine movies that I grew up on).” — Esther Newman, Affiliate Writer
Ece London The Aphrodite Baroque Pearl Ring, $, available at Ece LondonPhoto: Courtesy of Esther Newman.
Farm Rio Off-White Fresh Table Midi Skirt
“A scroll past this Farm Rio skirt on Instagram, and I was instantly enchanted, immediately knowing it was the one for my birthday. The picnic-inspired print is joyful and unexpected — a standout in a sea of florals and palms. It’s part of a matching set, but I prefer styling it solo with a bright cotton tee so the print gets all the attention.” — Venus Wong, Senior Writer
Farm Rio Fresh Table Lenzing Ecovero Euroflax Midi Skirt, $, available at Farm RioPhoto: Courtesy of Venus Wong.
Vivaia Round-Toe Satin Sneakerina
“Charli XCX made me do it. I saw her wearing these blush pink sneakerinas with denim shorts at a festival, and was instantly fixated. They’re super padded, unlike a lot of ballet flats, and actually comfortable. I wear mine with black capris because I’m not as insouciantly cool as Charli, but still feel on point.” — Susan Devaney, Lifestyle Director
Vivaia Round-Toe Satin Sneakerina, $, available at VivaiaPhoto: Courtesy of Susan Devaney.
Summer Away Deia Shorts
“Okay, I’m decidedly not a shorts person. And yet — here I am, inching my way out of my comfort zone. And what better gateway than a zany green striped short? The mid-thigh length feels polished enough to dress up, while still delivering carefree summer fun. Also: no chafing (bless). Styled with an oversized button-down and low heels, I’m somehow comfy and feeling myself. A new era.” — Laura Lajiness Kaupke, Contributing Editor
Summer Away Deia Shorts, $, available at Summer AwayPhoto: Courtesy of Laura Lajiness.
Chord Ivory Bouclé Cap
“I have plenty of baseball hats, but I’ve long struggled to find a quality, minimalistic one without a logo that actually fits well. This high-end brand nails the details: luxe hardware, leather strap closure, and, most importantly, a brown sweatband that hides makeup stains. While the brand offers styles in a range of fabrications from cotton to denim, I love this textured bouclé version that I’ve worn nonstop since it arrived.” — Irina Grechko, Fashion Director
Chord Ivory Bouclé Cap, $, available at ChordPhoto: Courtesy of Irina Grechko.
Anonymous Copenhagen Sessi 40 Hand-Braided Heel
“I’ve had a horrific time finding a smart summer shoe. I live in loafers and find the idea of wearing sandals in the city the stuff of nightmares. But the rise of braided ballet flats and kitten heels in my feed felt like a sign. This pair from Anonymous Copenhagen is exactly what I was looking for: buttery-soft leather, a block heel for height without pain, and handcrafted quality (these are by skilled artisans in Portugal and Italy). These are my date-night, special-occasion, and summer-wedding shoes.” — Alicia Lansom, Culture Editor
“When in doubt, I always go back to this outfit formula: white skirt, red top, red ballet flats. It’s sweet, timeless, and just feels like summer — fresh berries, picnics, classic gingham, and listening to Lana Del Rey on repeat. (Don’t ask me why, but she’s a red-and-white vibe to me.)” — Esther Newman, Affiliate Writer
& Other Stories Alpaca-Blend Knitted Cardigan, $, available at & Other Stories
Nobody’s Child Broderie Anglaise Maxi Skirt, $, available at Nobody’s ChildPhoto: Courtesy of Esther Newman.
Jenny Bird Dane Anklet & Dhani Anklet
“I wear Jenny Bird jewelry on the regular, and these anklets are my latest obsession. The Dane is like an ankle bangle — sleek, oval-shaped, and water-resistant. The hidden closure is genius. I’ve been pairing it with the chunky chainlink Dhani anklet in the 10-inch sizes for a fresh, stacked look.” — Victoria Montalti, Associate Fashion Writer
Jenny Bird Dane Anklet, $, available at Jenny Bird
Jenny Bird Dhani Anklet, $, available at Jenny BirdPhoto: Courtesy of Victoria Montalti.
Madewell Poplin Smocked Maxi Dress
“I’m a dress girl through and through. Correction: I’m a long dress girl. Come summer, the only viable option on the hottest days is a non-clingy cotton style — and this one from Madewell is my ideal. The length? Perfection. The smocking? Skims the body just right without feeling suffocating. And the red? The exact punchy shade I reach for in the summer.” — Laura Lajiness Kaupke, Contributing Editor
Madewell Poplin Smocked Maxi Dress, $, available at MadewellPhoto: Courtesy of Laura Lajiness.
Toms x Jamie Mizrahi Alp FWD Slip-On Sneaker
“So soft, so comfy, so vibrant. These are the ultimate everyday summer shoes. I usually need time to break this shape in, but these felt perfect from the get-go. The bright purple feels so summery and fun, adding color without being over the top. They look like flower petals and feel just as gentle on my feet.” — Tanyel Mustafa, Senior Writer
Toms x Jamie Mizrahi Alp FWD Slip-On Sneaker, $, available at TOMSPhoto: Courtesy of Tanyel Mustafa.
Gap × Dôen Eyelet Top
“I was so excited for the second Gap x Dôen collab and shopped early to snag this cotton eyelet top. It’s a signature Dôen silhouette — airy, embroidered, and easy to style with jeans, skirts, or even office trousers. A perfect summer staple.” — Lisa Dionisio, Newsletter Director
Gap x Dôen Eyelet Top, $, available at GapPhoto: Courtesy of Lisa Dionisio.
Vagabond Vivian Pumps
“I just can’t hack heels anymore. I’ve become that girl walking barefoot home from events — someone I vowed never to be. But then I wore these Vagabond courts to a wedding and didn’t want to take them off. Yes, I felt short at 5’1”, but these shoes were so cute, it didn’t matter. They work for everything — office, date nights, travel — and the block-y shape adds edge and polish to any look.” — Kelly Washington, Senior Social Editor
Vagabond Vivian Pumps, $, available at VagabondPhoto: Courtesy of Kelly Washington.
Levi’s High Rise Baggy Linen+Denim Lightweight Shorts
“These are easily some of the most comfortable shorts I own — the linen-denim blend is breathable, lightweight, and made for hot days. They’re not stretchy, but the mid-thigh cut and wider hems offer coverage without riding up or chafing. I’ve been reaching for them daily.” — Victoria Montalti, Associate Fashion Writer
Levi’s High Rise Baggy Linen+Denim Lightweight Shorts, $, available at Levi’sPhoto: Courtesy of Victoria Montalti.
Rothy’s The Square Mary Jane
“I got these Mary Janes at the end of last summer and they’ve been my go-to for every warm-weather moment since. They’re incredibly comfortable and a must-pack for trips — they bend easily and tuck into any suitcase crevice. Plus: The bright red adds the perfect pop to my otherwise minimal summer looks.” — Irina Grechko, Fashion Director
Rothy’s The Square Mary Jane, $, available at Rothy’sPhoto: Courtesy of Irina Grechko.
Maison de Sabré The Sabrémoji Lime Fruit Charm
“I’m a big Maison de Sabré fan — their (sold-out) Little Miss Bad charm lives on my work bag. This lime fruit style is the latest star of my bag charm collection. It’s summery and fun, complements my Kelly green shoulder bag, and is surprisingly functional — it fits an Apple AirTag.” — Victoria Montalti, Associate Fashion Writer
Maison de Sabré The SABRÉMOJI Fruit Charm, $, available at Maison de SabréPhoto: Courtesy of Victoria Montalti.
Minka Dink London The Esme Blouse
“I’ve been into oversized shirts for ages, but needed a switch-up for summer. This ruched blouse from Minka Dink is fitted in all the right places, has the sweetest sleeve frills, and features mother-of-pearl buttons. While it looks like it could be tight and uncomfortable, the 100% cotton is super breathable — perfect for work or play. (Bonus: It now comes in a lemon yellow).” — Alicia Lansom, Culture Editor
Minka Dink London The Esme Blouse, $, available at Minka Dink LondonPhoto: Courtesy of Alicia Lansom.
Shezza Lace Socks
“My Dr. Martens 1461 Bex Oxfords have gathered dust for two years because they destroy my ankles — until now. Shezza socks have built-in heel padding, and they’ve totally changed the game. These lace ones look great with my Docs, ballet flats, and Mary Janes. I also got the black crew socks for Glastonbury — fingers crossed they save my feet from festival miles.” — Esther Newman, Affiliate Writer
Shezza Lace Socks, $, available at ShezzaPhoto: Courtesy of Esther Newman.
Dr. Scholl’s x Favorite Daughter Heartbreak Sandal
“Dr. Scholl’s clog sandals were already iconic — now they’re even better, thanks to this new Favorite Daughter collaboration. The croc leather uppers and kitten heel give them a more evening update. I went with the chocolate brown, and I’m obsessed. Paired with a mini skirt, dress, or capris, they make me feel like I stepped out of a ‘90s rom-com or early-aughts episode of Sex and The City.” — Victoria Montalti, Associate Fashion Writer
Dr. Scholl’s x Favorite Daughter Heartbreak Sandal, $, available at Dr. Scholl’sPhoto: Courtesy of Victoria Montalti.
Paige Dani Short
“I’ve been hunting for denim shorts with a flared, A-line silhouette that aren’t uncomfortable — and these are it. The denim is soft and lived-in, making them great for travel, and the contrast stitching and pintuck pleat give off a ’70s vibe I love, especially with a brown leather belt. I’ll be living in these all summer.” — Venus Wong, Senior Writer
PAIGE Dani Short, $, available at PAIGEPhoto: Courtesy of Venus Wong.
Birkenstock Florida Fresh Nubuck Leather Sandals
“I live, laugh, love in my Birks. My OG Arizonas have lasted six years, but I wanted a pair that felt a little more refined for everyday wear — enter the Florida Fresh. The slimmer straps and soft sage hue are a perfect match for light denim and summer whites.” — Esther Newman, Affiliate Writer
Birkenstock Florida Fresh, $, available at BirkenstockPhoto: Courtesy of Esther Newman.
Sach Atelier Hail Belt
“Sach Atelier has been flooding my feed lately, and for good reason. This handmade, non-leather belt blends South Asian jewelry traditions with Y2K energy. The mirrored silver threading adds a bold touch to floaty skirts or jeans — I’m deeming it my pop princess concert fit essential. — Alicia Lansom, Culture Editor
Sach Atelier Hail Belt, $, available at Sach AtelierPhoto: Courtesy of Alicia Lansom.
Peachaus Striped Ethical-cotton Pyjama Shorts
“These boxer shorts have become my top pick from Peachaus’s lightweight cotton set. I wear them for nearly everything — sleeping, working from home, lounging in the garden, even brunch with a chunky knit and biker boots. I’m already planning to grab a few more colors for summer.” — Esther Newman, Affiliate Writer
I used to be the person who bought a new journal every time I needed to “get my life together.” Think sleek leather covers, crisp white pages, and maybe a cute matching pen. I’d start writing with a burst of motivation, filling a few pages with deep thoughts, a list of goals, or perhaps even a poem. I told myself that this would be the journal I finally stuck with, where I’d finally get consistent about checking in with myself. Inevitably though, life got busy. The journal remained half-finished and forgotten, gathering dust on my desk, until the next booklet caught my eye. At some point, my collection of unfinished journals turned into a running joke — proof that even with the best intentions, sticking to a habit of self-reflection can be harder than it looks.
As relatable as my abandoned journals may be, the reality is that self-reflection can sometimes feel inaccessible and rigid. Therapists have long recommended journaling as a way to process emotions, track personal growth, and untangle mental clutter. When I did manage to sit down and write, it felt like I was releasing a weight I hadn’t even realized I was carrying. Still, I know from my own experiences and from watching those around me that traditional journaling isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution.
Some people struggle to put their thoughts into words, while others prefer having multiple ways to express themselves. Some days, I wanted to pour out all of my thoughts through my pen, driven by a stroke of poetic inspiration; other days, I simply wished I could vent verbally, capturing all the small details as if I was speaking to a friend. And then there were moments when words didn’t feel right at all. I’d reach for my colored pencils or watercolors, letting the shades speak instead: calming greens on peaceful days, chaotic reds when I felt overwhelmed, and bright yellows when something made me smile. Through those different forms of expression, I realized that there was no single way to journal.
I created an app that makes journaling more accessible and flexible, adapting to people’s unique and everchanging ways of expressing themselves. Reflexion, which will soon be available in the Apple App Store, offers seven different input methods so you can journal in a way that best suits your needs on any given day. If you prefer writing, there’s of course text journaling. On days when speaking feels easier, you can voice record to express what’s on your mind or choose a video diary entry. For visual thinkers, you can draw freely on a built-in canvas using adjustable brush sizes and a variety of color palettes, including warm tones, pastels, neons, and more to match your mood. You can also upload handwritten notes; the app automatically scans the image and recognizes any text, to save it in the database. That way, even if you prefer to journal by hand on some days, you still have all your reflections in one centralized place. You can also upload photos and images that capture a reflection of your mood or moment, like in the early days of Instagram. And when your time or energy is low, there are mood sliders so you can quickly log how you’re feeling with just a few taps.
All of these reflections, no matter the format, are stored in the “Entries” page, creating a centralized place where reflections are kept together. This flexibility means you don’t have to choose one format over another; you can switch from a voice note one day to a drawing the next, and Reflexion will keep everything organized. Each entry is tagged with one of five moods: joyful, calm, energetic, stressed, or sad. These moods are either selected by the user or suggested by the app’s AI-powered mood detection, with the flexibility to override the AI’s choice.
Accessibility is woven throughout Reflexion’s design. The app supports various input methods to accommodate different abilities, offers adjustable font sizes, light and dark modes, and a clean interface that makes it simple and intuitive for users to navigate. There’s also an insights feature that allows you to look back, identify patterns, and track progress.
Looking ahead, I hope Reflexion continues to grow alongside the cultural shift we’re seeing in how we talk about mental health, which has grown to be more open, less stigmatized, and built on small everyday moments of awareness rather than crisis response. Mental health tools need to feel personal, intuitive, and grounded in the way we actually live, especially for younger generations, like me, who spend so much of their lives online.
One-size-fits-all solutions rarely work, especially when it comes to the nuances of our individual mental health needs, and tools like Reflexion reflect the complexity and fluidity of how we experience our emotions, whether that’s through words, voice, visuals, or other moments of quiet self-awareness. That’s the vision behind Reflexion, and it’s one I’m excited to keep building toward. I’m currently working on improving the app’s AI-powered mood detection, creating more personalized prompts, and refining accessibility so that everyone, regardless of background or ability, feels seen and supported.
What began as a solution to my graveyard of half-finished journals became the foundation of what I believe technology should be: not something that demands consistency or perfection, but something that honors the imperfect, nonlinear yet beautiful ways we experience our emotions. Reflexion is just the beginning — and it’s taught me that creating something meaningful starts with keeping at heart the people it’s meant to serve.
Michelle Han is a passionate developer and researcher who puts accessibility and inclusive design at the core of her work. She began her coding journey and discovered the joy of being able to translate ideas into tools that make a difference at Kode With Klossy, where she now serves as an Instructor Assistant. Her app Reflexion was recognized in the 2025 Apple Swift Student Challenge, and she currently conducts research at MIT Media Lab’s Fluid Interfaces group, where she explores affective computing systems within human-computer interaction. This fall, Michelle will begin her undergraduate studies at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), where she plans to major in Computer Science, Economics, and Data Science.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
In an ideal world, I’d never wear a strapless bra again. No hate to them, but with summer finally here, I can’t think of a more unappealing undergarment when it comes to tiny-tank-top-and-strappy sundress season — the marks that it leaves on the hot skin, the constricting material, the underboob sweat marks, the constant slipping…As if my phone was listening to my innermost thoughts (I’m not convinced that it isn’t, for the record), my social feeds started to get flooded with ads for Cakes, a brand of nipple covers that has intrigued me since first making rounds on TikTok over a year ago.
After first becoming popular for its Grippy Cakes, adhesive-free nipple covers, the brand has more recently unveiled the heat wave-friendly Sticky Cakes, which have a tacky, adhesive layer to offer more support (and peace of mind). Cakes’ nipple covers come in a few different sizes ( “itty bitty” for AAA-A cups, “OG” for B-DD cups, and “+” for DDD cups and up), skin tones (Honey, Caramel, and Cocoa), and shapes (circles and triangles).
I’ve had mixed success with nipple covers in the past. While the objective is to create a smooth surface underneath tight and/or sheer clothing, some of them made my breast outline even more pronounced as a result of thicker material or uneven edges, defeating the point entirely. Others made an early exit (this happened during my wedding reception, and I didn’t realize until the after-party — oops!) and fell off.
With summer finally here, and strapless bras out until fall, I set out to find out if Cakes, with their $33 price point — which hovers just above many of its competitors — were the real deal. (Although they areon 30% off right now, BTW.) From white tees to bikini tops (yes, bikini tops!) to backless dresses, I put Cakes Grippy Circles, Grippy Triangles, Sticky Circles, and Sticky Triangles, all in the “OG” size and Honey colorway to the test. Ahead, my thoughts.
First up, I tried the Grippy Cakes Circles. The silicone was smooth and soft, with the contoured shape thickest in the center and gradually thinned out on the exterior. As with any nipple covers, I applied them to clean, dry skin. I probably could’ve sized down in the circles because they nearly covered my entire breast. This is not necessarily a good or bad thing, especially considering that nipples and breasts vary in size and shape, but something to be aware of if your breasts are on the smaller side of the brand’s range.
The brand recommends wearing this style under tight clothing to help the Cakes stay in place, but I wore mine under a loosely fitting white T-shirt, and they were not only undetectable as advertised but felt secure all day, even in summer heat. After wearing them for a full day, I gently removed them, rinsed them with warm water, and patted them dry. According to the brand, if you follow these instructions, Grippy Cakes are reusable since they use your body’s heat, not adhesive, to naturally cling onto the skin. (Buying fewer, better things? Here for it.)
The circle-shaped “style” was most similar to other nipple covers I’ve tried in the past, but I found that these held up better with sweat and seamlessly blended with my skin (none of those uneven-edge issues I’ve experienced in the past). I would definitely wear these again with a sheer blouse or a plain white tee.
Later that week, I gave the Grippy Triangles, which have an elongated, pointed shape that offers coverage for trickier styles, a try; since they have a sleeker profile, they work for low-cut or V-neck styles that the Circles may have peeked out from. What’s more, Cakes says you can wear these with swimwear (and for working out, but I tend to need more significant support if I’m doing anything more intense than walking). To test this theory, I threw on a triangle bikini and hopped in the pool. I was honestly impressed that the covers stayed in place through swimming and then laying out in the sun; water and sweat didn’t affect the grippiness of the silicone whatsoever.
Would these make it through surfing in Montauk? Probably not. But a little dip and/or playing mermaids is more than fine for these. I probably wouldn’t wear it again under swimwear because I look for styles that already have light padding in them. However, I appreciate having the option for sweat-filled days, and would recommend these for brides who want to dance the night away without worrying about a wardrobe malfunction like mine or, worse, a nip slip.
Lastly, I tried the new Sticky Cakes, which are nearly identical to their grippy counterparts in look and feel (they come in the same silicone material) but are coated in a thin layer of medical-grade adhesive. I’ll admit, sticky-front bras have been in my wardrobe arsenal for years now, providing light support and lift in backless, strapless designs, but I’m always on the hunt for something better, whether that’s in terms of comfort, performance, or both. (Cakes just released their version, called the Cleavage Bra, which I am eager to try.)
Sticky Cakes are a nice middle ground between going braless and the aforementioned sticky bras. The design has a small divot in the center (called a “nip nook”), so you don’t get adhesive anywhere near the delicate nipple area. When compared to Grippy Cakes, these felt more secure. The adhesive was tacky enough to stay in place (even in 90°F summer heat) but wasn’t so sticky that it hurt to remove it at the end of the day. Per the brand, the sticky versions can be worn at least 10 times with proper care and storage, which involves gently rinsing with warm water, air-drying, and storing in the included pouch. I would save this style for my backless summer dresses on the hottest days of the season or an outdoor summer music festival.
DashDividers_1_500x100
Final Thoughts
So, is Cakes worth the hype? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t impressed. The grippy styles are great from a sustainability perspective. To me, the triangle shapes are a game-changer thanks to the way you can rotate them 180° in either direction to make even the trickiest neckline work. I also felt like these were the most seamless, invisible alternative to bras I’ve tried so far. Out of all the combinations I tried, the sticky triangles ended up being the winner in my book, since the shape was a universal fit for any tricky wardrobe situation, and I like having the adhesive as an insurance measure.
Bonus: The brand is dedicated to supporting women’s health via Cakes Cares, the brand’s philanthropic arm, which has donated over a million dollars to breast cancer research and support programs. (As the daughter of a breast cancer survivor, I love this.)
Now that I’ve got a full wardrobe of Cakes at my disposal, I feel that my search for the perfect nipple cover has ended. From future wedding dance floors to music festivals and other sweaty, bra-unfriendly scenarios, I may never wear bras again — or at least for the summer.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
To ship or not to ship — that is the quandary of the New Moon in Leo. The lunation brings an unexpected intensity, forcing us to consider our future. With our hearts on the line, we’ll find that the dramatic approach is the only way to make a point and capture attention. Being thirsty won’t help matters. Instead we’ll find out that having the strength to let go of certain connections and start fresh is the best move because it empowers us to take control of our lives. To embrace the New Moon in Leo energy, we must reclaim our love for the MVP in our world: the person looking right back at us in the mirror. Who else would it be?
The day before the New Moon sets the vibe: on July 23rd, Venus in Gemini and Mars in Virgo square off, creating an intense internal energy. Finding the right ways to deal with inner frustrations might be difficult. Since Mars in Virgo can be repressive and Venus in Gemini is more expressive, we might be unsure of the best actions to take in relationships, with both signs’ mercurial nature adding to the uncertainty. It’ll be hard to immediately figure out what we yearn for, but we can think things over and gather information that informs our decisions in time. Trust the process and give yourself a moment.
On July 24th, the day of the lunation, Saturn retrograded in Aries, Neptune retrograded in Aries, Uranus in Gemini, and Pluto retrograde in Aquarius, are in aspect with the New Moon. Saturn retrograde brings emotional intelligence to the mix, allowing us to approach the situation maturely (even if we do not know how to). Neptune retrograde increases our sensitivity to the circumstances we’ll be feeling from Pluto retrograde, which will create power struggles and triangular dynamics in certain relationships. Uranus awakens us, clearing the haze and helping us see the areas of our lives that require change — particularly in the romance department.
This doesn’t spell doom for love matters. We may desire space from a friendship, partnership, or situationship to figure out our sentiments and uncover if we wish to deepen the connection or move on. There will be a push and pull between our heart and mind, and our needs and wants. We will find ourselves caught in the middle: unable to be delusional and ultimately compelled to accept reality. The cosmos is giving us a wake-up call to gather and process integral information to enlighten and improve our options. Along the way, there will be confusion due to Mercury retrograde in Leo, which is currently underway.
We can use this New Moon to our advantage by digging deep to understand our motives and triggers. Finding out the psychological reasons that cause us to react in a particular manner will provide an understanding of our role in dealing with conflict and our feelings. We may even use this as a motivational time to speak up and assert ourselves. No matter what we do, we must evolve and transform. The old ways of handling matters aren’t working and should be adjusted. Growth is challenging but necessary. Who we are becoming is a person of beauty, independence, and the freedom to make their own choices. For better or worse, we are leaning into our core values and beliefs to manifest what we deserve.
All in all, the intention we must set is one of self-love. Whichever path we take, the most important thing to know is that we are worthy of respect, kindness, and empathy. Receiving is just as important as giving and we should ensure that balance. Don’t overextend yourself too much to make someone else happy. The person in need of TLC is you. When you honor and respect yourself, others will too. But it starts with you: look at your fierce self in the mirror and blow a kiss to your image. Write love letters to yourself. Buy yourself a treat or gift. Talk to yourself like you would your best friend. When asked who loves you, bb? You’ll know that you do!
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Welcome toMoney Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.
Today: an occupational therapist who has a $354,000 household income and who spends some of her money this week on chili crisp (for both personal use and gifting purposes).
If you’d like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we’re not able to reply to every email.
Occupation: Occupational therapist Industry: Healthcare Age: 31 Location: Seattle, WA Salary: My rate is $60 an hour — last year I made $101,000. Household Income & Financial Setup: $354,000. My boyfriend, M., outearns me pretty significantly and we are still navigating how to share that divide. Currently, I pay him rent and we split groceries and utilities 2:1. We have no joint accounts but know all of each other’s numbers and are both generous with covering meals and small expenses. He does often pay for the nicer meals or bigger house purchases. We split travel evenly, but are discussing if we should change that. We use a lot of points and don’t reimburse each other for those. Assets: 401(k): $22,585; IRA: $51,401; Robinhood: $18,166; rollover IRA #1: $5,353; rollover IRA #2: $5,643; Acorns: $2,271; Ally HYSA: $15,141; local credit union checking: $1,378; local credit union savings: $800; car: $4,500. Debt: $2,488, all in student loans. Paycheck Amount (Monthly): $8,400 pre tax and retirement, but this varies. Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses Housing Costs: $1,100 paid to M., who owns the house. We live with a dog (who does not pay rent). Loan Payments: $476.15 every two weeks towards student loans. 401(k): 15% of what I make monthly with a 4% company match. Roth IRA: $583.33 Gym: $99 Phone: $42.50 paid toward family plan. Utilities: This varies but around $200 for my portion of water, trash, and electricity. Donations: $250 reoccurring and usually an extra $100-$400 in mutual aid or Go Fund Me.
Annual Expenses
Car Insurance: $650 Credit Card Fees: $680 aggregate (high, but we use the perks well). Costco: $65 for my half.
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? Yes, college was always expected. My parents never really talked us through other options and I was a high-achieving student at a low-achieving school, so all my teachers expected it as well. I knew I wanted to go into healthcare or social work so it was always an assumption that I would get at least a master’s degree. I applied for a needs-based scholarship in middle school that got me through most of undergrad. It wasn’t enough for my final year but I was able to graduate early to offset the extra costs of a tuition raise. My parents paid for the rent and end of undergrad for me. Graduate school was extremely expensive. Therapy is a very high debt-burden-to-income ratio. I paid my first semester in cash and only took out loans for tuition. I worked almost full time during which is unusual for a professional program and was extremely stressful. I graduated with around $100,000 in debt and paid extensively during COVID-19 so I am almost done, but it is pretty frustrating to see reimbursement rates stagnant as debt burdens increase.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances? My parents were incredibly frugal and I picked up on a lot of that. They gave us very small allowances (literally starting with three nickels but then increasing to six) and had us split it between give, save, and to have fun with. It was negligible to pay for much, but did get the point across for budgeting. We never talked about stocks or investing or the reality of taking on so much debt for school. My parents continue to be very frugal, but I think are sometimes unrealistic about how much potential things like longterm care could cost.
What was your first job and why did you get it? My first job was nannying at 11 years old. I made $5 an hour to watch a five and six year old for 42 hours a week. It seems archaic now, but I had that job for several summers. At 16 years old, I worked as a server at a retirement home. I kept this job through the end of high school and during early college breaks. I got the jobs to pay for any extra curricular and social activities that I wanted to participate in. My friends were all more affluent and it felt like a necessity.
Did you worry about money growing up? Yes. Money to me was freeing and my parents never gave us money for social activities. We always had the necessities and I never worried about food or housing. We were very lucky how present our parents were and both often worked part time to be with us, but we rarely had more than the necessities. I was the only upperclassmen on my school bus for example — the rest of my rural-ish community gave kids cars at 16 years old. My dad lost his job when I was in high school and my family was very stressed about it, but I didn’t know much about the realities of how that changed their finances.
Do you worry about money now? Yes and no. Having gone to grad school I feel very behind in savings and investing as I didn’t start truly working beyond paying rent and food until 25 years old. My career is also pretty capped in pay, which is frustrating. I have a very supportive partner and a very in-demand job which helps with stability. I’ve also made significant progress in saving and paying down debt which increases my comfort level.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? At 22. My parents retired and I got kicked off their health insurance at that point, as well as losing any support for rent and schooling. I think they would likely help me if I needed it, but I would turn to my partner or sister first. I have a large extended family so I would always have somewhere to live.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. Yes. My parents supported the end of undergrad and gave my sister and I each $5,000 when our grandmother died. This started my Roth IRA.
Day One: Monday
6:40 a.m. — Wake up before my alarm. I have been in and out of sleep for a while so I decide to get up. Kiss M., my boyfriend, and Q., our dog, who are both still snoozing. Make coffee and look through emails for the day. Put on sunscreen. M. had Q. before we met and does most of the dog care while I take the heterosexual dad approach (I know where the vet is and refer to it as babysitting when I have him for the weekend). If not mentioned, know that Q. gets four walks a day, minimum.
8 a.m. — M.’s mom is staying with us and I help her with breakfast things while M. finishes some work. They leave around 10 a.m. to go for a hike. I make and eat a quesadilla between meetings.
12 p.m. — Normally I have no gap between meetings and treating, but my first two kids are out for Spring Break so I take time to run, shower, and eat lunch. I have salted cucumbers and a salad with vegan chicken nuggets. Q. returns from his day dog walker in time to share my cucumbers.
2:15 p.m. — Head out for my first non-cancelled kid for the day. I have two teenage girls in a row who are both absolutely wonderful and totally different. Both I love hanging out with.
5:35 p.m. — Get home from my kids. M. is on the couch and we share Chex Mix my mom made us for our Passover/Easter basket. I make ratatouille and polenta for dinner. M.’s mom mentions she doesn’t make a lot of stews and I have to confess I make ratatouille like the rat not like the original dish.
6:45 p.m. — Eat and clean the kitchen. I have leftover carrot cake a friend made for Seder dinner. It’s good for gluten free. M. and his mom take Q. out for his evening walk and I send some emails and document for the day.
10 p.m. — Brush teeth, retinol, sleep.
Daily Total: $0
Day Two: Tuesday
5:55 a.m. — Wake up with my alarm and move to the couch. Read the news and make coffee. I prep for my sessions and clean out my backpack. I grab some oranges and a granola bar but will get something during a gap so I don’t try super hard.
7:15 a.m. — Say goodbye to M. and Q. and M.’s mom, who is heading to the airport while I’m at work. Sunscreen in the car. Chat about self-advocacy and making good choices in class with my first friend and make a little visual for it.
8:30 a.m. — My second kid is out so I go to Starbucks and get a matcha oat latte and a falafel wrap ($10.41 on a gift card). Going to Starbucks in the Seattle area is pretty embarrassing, but they consistently have a place I can work. Answer emails and complete notes.
9:30 a.m. — Hang out with my next two little friends. Lots of executive functioning and social emotional stuff. The first one radiates joy and is one of my favorites. Not that I have favorites.
11:20 a.m. — Drive to my next school. Feeding therapy kid. His teacher tells me that he has continued to eat a particular food that we mastered last session. We make a mess with couscous and snap peas. Hope the teachers continue to like me. I have another big gap, although my last kid blessedly moved up. I stop by our house to send emails, document, and take a 15-minute coffee nap.
2:55 p.m. — Last kid of the day. We work on handwriting and nose blowing. He tells me I’m his favorite teacher. We are having too much fun so he probably is almost ready to be done with therapy.
4 p.m. — Drive to kick boxing. It’s a short class, but enjoyable. It’s a balmy day for Seattle and I get lured into an Indian cafe and get M. and I mango lassis. $11.01
5 p.m. — Give M. his snacks and check in about the day. I am doing a big screening tomorrow so I spent the evening printing and preparing.
7:30 p.m. — Make rice, Cantonese soft tofu, and roasted broccolini for dinner. We are low on chili crisp and it’s cheaper to order three so I do. They make good gifts. $44.97
10 p.m. — I am having trouble settling down (couldn’t be the news that I’m reading on my phone in bed) so I get up and trim and thin my hair and do a face mask. I tell M. so he can pretend to have noticed and he tells me how good it looks. Stretch, warm water, and read (On Looking by Alexandra Horowitz). I fall asleep sometime around midnight.
Daily Total: $55.98
Day Three: Wednesday
6:30 a.m. — Up and double check all the materials for screenings while my coffee drips through the pour over. Several families have added, even though the deadline is well in the past.
8:30 a.m. — I take a meeting over the phone while driving to the school (and putting on sunscreen). I am screening any child pre-K to 5th grade with another OT at a private Catholic school. I take another meeting at the school and then start pulling kids.
2:45 p.m. — All done! I had a granola bar and green juice earlier, but we didn’t get a break for lunch and I’m starving. Pack up all the materials and head to a grocery store I’ve been wanting to try. I commit the cardinal sin of grocery shopping hungry, but don’t spend too outrageous an amount. I get honey butter chips, mango sago, salmon ongiri, pok choy, pea vines, seafood mushrooms, pork and vegetable dumplings, vegetable buns, spicy rice crust crackers, peach ice cream, curry rice balls, and rice vinegar. All the meat and seafood is for M. only. $65.67
3:45 p.m. — Get home, unpack, and answer emails. I eat the honey butter chips, apples, bell peppers, and two curry rice balls. I answer emails and other therapist questions I missed.
6:15 p.m. — Grab a bell pepper each (leaving behind the bell pepper tax for Q.) and walk to trivia at a local bar. M. orders himself chili and me a beer. We split fries. The four of us there have a pretty even split in knowledge areas but there is a disproportionate amount of French knowledge on this one. We get third place.
8:30 p.m. — Home. I eat some rice chips and drink a ton of water. My sister facetimes to try to use our Amex codes for an LCD Soundsystem concert presale. We split the mango sago and a peach ice cream while talking to her.
Daily Total: $65.67
Day Four: Thursday
5:30 a.m. — Wake up with the light. I make coffee and water. I answer emails and start some laundry.
9 a.m. — I meant to go for a run earlier, but got caught up in work. M. and I both leave for runs. I do a quick hill workout and head back and shower. Make a strawberry banana smoothie before my first meeting.
10 a.m. — Meet with another therapist. We meet over the phone so I’m able to pack for my sessions during. I also take Cheez-Its, peppers (this is a mistake and I get seeds all over the driver seat), apples, and granola bars. I will eat these during my drives. First session is water beads, fidget creation, and self-care.
12:30 p.m. — Drive to our clinic and see three kids back to back in a group. Lots of fine motor and emotional regulation.
3:30 p.m. — Drive to a home session. I see two brothers back to back. All the other therapists have dropped them due to behaviors, but I adore them. I think that I have easier sessions because I always let my kids know how happy I am to see them.
5:45 p.m. — Drive to a park session closer to my house. My mom calls on my drive to tell me that I diagnosed her nerve entrapment correctly. I love being right.
7:45 p.m. — Home from my final session. I am starving. M. brought me an eggplant parmesan sandwich. He is an angel. I eat half with rice chips and water. We are supposed to do a strength workout but I’m so tired. I work on notes in bed, but fall asleep at some point.
Daily Total: $0
Day Five: Friday
1 a.m. — Wake up. M. has tucked me in, put away my computer, and turned the lights off. I brush my teeth and go back to sleep.
7 a.m. — Awake for real. Emails, coffee, water. M. and I check in about the weekend. We are having a water tap error on our dishwasher. I have already replaced all the hosing and the air gap so we need to replace the seal. I try to close the dishwasher at the correct angle several times before admitting defeat and hand washing.
9:45 a.m. — Head to kickboxing. I go grocery shopping after because I need peanut butter. I get strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, bell peppers, vegan corn dogs, dried beans, jalapenos, blue cheese, and peanut butter. $45.46
11:30 a.m. — Home and make cookie dough and start sourdough bread. I am making miso peanut butter and gochujang sugar cookies. I eat a “corndog” and all three berry types. The afternoon is a rotation of reports, emails, meetings, and stretch and pulls.
6:45 p.m. — I have baked the cookies. I don’t know if I like the peanut butter miso. This is very sad. They are very pretty cookies. We head to our friend’s house. M. brings lots of Passover snacks. We watch questionable movies and eat more questionable snacks, including durian Pocky. I like it. M. hates it.
11:30 p.m. — Arrive home. I am starving and finish the rice and broccolini with chili crisp. Brush teeth and immediately to bed.
Daily Total: $45.46
Day Six: Saturday
6:30 a.m. — I get up and shape the bread. I am making one jalapeno cheddar, two plain, and one cinnamon walnut. I spend the morning cleaning and fixing the dishwasher successfully.
12 p.m. — I have a medieval king lunch of cheese, nuts, and fruit. I catch up on a bit of work and start baking the breads. We have a friend’s dog for most of the day and M. takes them on a long adventure.
3 p.m. — M. and I leave on a bike ride to drop off bread to several friends. Two of my friends just had babies so we do porch drop-offs until the babies are old enough to start getting vaccinated. The bike lanes are pretty abysmal along our routes.
5 p.m. — Final bread drop off and we decide to get Vietnamese food with this friend. She is also an OT and a lovely human being. S. (our friend) gets a vermicelli bowl, she and M. split wings, and M. and I both get pho and bahn mis. M. pays for all of us but I would guess it was a hundred something. We take most of the wings and the bahn mis to go to eat later.
7 p.m. — It is getting dark and we didn’t bring lights so we light rail to a more protected route. I pay for both. $6
8:30 p.m. — Home safe. M. takes the dog out and I take a hot shower. We chat and hang out until bed once he’s back.
Daily Total: $6
Day Seven: Sunday
10 a.m. — I sleep in. I got woken up multiple times; the church next to us started services at 2 a.m. I am irritated because I wanted to run this morning and this cuts into it. Coffee, water, straighten up, and prepare for the day, which includes making croutons and grabbing stuff for mutual aid.
12:30 p.m. — M. and I head out to meet friends for coffee. We were supposed to be individually meeting our best friends but combined it into one meeting. I pay for coffee for my friend A. (cold brew), M. (cortado and raspberry oat bar), and me (matcha latte). M.’s friend hasn’t arrived yet so I’m not just blatantly not paying for him. Tip 22% because 20% is not an option. $20.76
2:30 p.m. — Hang out at the coffee shop and then go try to get our brows threaded. I appreciate having men in my life who aren’t so caught up in toxic masculinity. The wait is super long so we end up not going. M. takes a power nap in the car.
3:30 p.m. — Head to mutual aid. M. and A. offer food and support to RVs and I man the hot drinks. We also have food, water, Gatorade, medical supplies, and harm reduction. I venmo A. $20 for my part of the Gatorade (the coffee wasn’t enough). The rain and wind are picking up and I am getting puffs of cocoa powder on my hands as I make drinks. $20
4:45 p.m. — Head home. We listen to Amy Poehler’s podcast on the drive back. M. does dog duty and I put together a panzanella with three kinds of tomatoes, cucumbers, pickled red onions, and the croutons I made this morning.
5:30 p.m. — Pick up some friends and head to a third’s for dinner. We eat an Ecuadorian Easter soup, panzanella, pea vine salad, various meats and scallops (that I don’t eat), yucca, and the most beautiful pavlova I’ve seen. Wine, cocktails, espresso, and political discourse flow and before we know it it’s nearly midnight and we need to say our goodbyes, take dishes and borrowed books, and head home.
Daily Total: $40.76
The Breakdown
Conclusion
“This feels like a relatively representative week for me and matches well what I value, food, friends, and supporting others. I would say it’s actually low on food spending. We really value nice groceries and spend a lot at Costco. M. also covered more of my meals than is typical (we try to trade off more). I read the diary to him and he commented that he looked good for that. I got annoyed at my debt after writing this and paid off the rest of my loans with my next paycheck. My biggest reflection is more how poor my sleep hygiene is, especially as a therapist and it’s something I’m working on. While grad school was a huge burden and I feel behind, I’ve been really lucky to have a supportive partner and generally good health and make up for lost time. It was a fun exercise overall. I am excited to see how things change without the burden of loans.”
Money Diaries are meant to reflect an individual’s experience and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29’s point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.
The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more Money Diaries, click here.
Do you have a Money Diary you’d like to share? Submit it with us here.
Have questions about how to submit or our publishing process? Read our Money Diaries FAQ doc here or email us here.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
