Welcome to Refinery29’s Why I Code, a Changing Face series where we ask inspirational, tech-disrupting trailblazers in computer science 29 questions about what fuels them on and off the clock.

New York-based artist and designer Anya Karolyn never thought her longtime hobby of creating different types of art could turn into a full-time career. One dream art studio in Manhattan and successful print and apparel business later, it’s safe to say that she’s singing a different tune. As a mixed-media artist, Karolyn weaves together her passion for creating on a physical canvas with Photoshop-level computer editing and coding. You might call her a modern renaissance woman, constantly innovating via graphics and code.

Growing up, Karolyn considered herself an “art kid,” but always thought it would just be something she enjoyed quietly. “[Art] was the thing that first gave me confidence in my identity because I wasn’t really identifying with anything else in school,” says the 26-year-old Boulder, CO native. “In art class, I just felt this weird sense of confidence that I didn’t have in any other aspect of my life, but I never thought it could be a full-time career — I didn’t even go to college for art. It was very much a fun talent I had.”

Now, she’s fully immersed in KARO, her very own ever-evolving art project and business — but her journey to get there wasn’t always a straight line. “It’s [been] years and years of tiny baby steps, nuanced realizations, and breaking out of self-limiting beliefs,” she shares. “There have been so many sleepless nights, all-nighters on projects that I never got paid for, projects that never saw the light of day, or things that I felt were just a waste.”

She started growing KARO on the side in 2018, but at the time, she was working as an in-house creative in the music industry at a major label, doing anything from directing music videos to animating lyric videos and GIFs to shooting single covers to editing concert recaps. “I was constantly working to make other artists’ visions come to life, and I kept asking myself, Why can’t I bet on myself like that? Am I going to live my whole life feeling like I’m in the wrong role? I was working at this job close to 50 hours per week, and then staying up every night working on art for KARO,” she says. “I couldn’t take it anymore eventually and saved up enough to give myself a chance and quit. The momentum built really quickly and it hasn’t stopped, which I’m super thankful for.”

As Karolyn prepares for her first solo show in NYC, she’s incorporating coding into the experience in a unique and interactive way — another example of her layered approach to art. Although she doesn’t code in her daily life, she finds innovative ways to shape code to create anything her heart desires.

What’s the first thing you’ve ever coded? “The first thing I ever coded was a ‘choose your own adventure’ game in Python, which I think, is a pretty simple first project. It allowed a player to navigate different story paths, and it was really cute. It was my first experience structuring logic [in coding].”

What’s a project that was the most challenging for you? “The one that I’m doing right now in terms of coding integration because I’m learning how to do projection mapping for my next art show. I have so many ideas for it and I want it to be really special and custom. Projection mapping is so cool in the art world because you can enhance a piece of art by creating animations around it to supplement it.

“I’m first using [TouchDesigner] to create animations of motifs, poetry, and visuals of my work, then using [MadMapper] to do custom projection mapping onto the gallery space. I have some time — which is good — but it’s a multi-step process that I haven’t done before. It’s a great way to merge nontraditional coding and technology with art, and I love being very much in the weeds with everything that I do for KARO.”

What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? “I have to start my espresso machine. I also like to physically rise as soon as my alarm goes off. Because, once I’m up, I’m up. I used to have the bad habit of snoozing my alarm all the time. So now, I need to physically shake myself around, defrost my brain in the morning, turn on my espresso machine, and make myself a little latte.”

What’s the last thing you do before going to bed? “I have my little nighttime routine and the biggest anchor of that is journaling. I love journaling. I really believe in it — I think it’s so powerful. I’ve been journaling nearly every day for years and years. I’ll go periods without it, but even since high school, I’ve been keeping a journal ,and it just helps decompress my brain and get me calm for the night.”

When does inspiration strike for you? “100% at night — never once in the morning. I’m such a night owl. My brain takes a couple hours in the morning to defrost. I’ve always wanted to be a morning person that wakes up really early and is super productive, but I just had to accept that I’m more productive, creative, inspired, motivated, and energetic at night, and I can’t change it. That’s why I started talking about this on my YouTube channel. I made a video about it. I have a day shift and I have a night shift. My night shift is where the actual magic happens.”

What does your workspace look like? “My studio is honestly a perfect reflection of myself. It’s my inner self materialized as a physical space. It’s kind of artistically messy. It’s very playful and it’s fun. There are lots of colors, but there’s a lot of intention behind the little knick-knacks everywhere. It’s like a showroom of my brain.”

What do you do when you’re stuck in a rut? “I’ll journal or I’ll go for a walk. Going for a walk always resets my mental health — I love walking around in New York. Dancing in my studio [also helps]. I’ll put on a song that I love dancing to — it’s one of my greatest joys. That will really get me out of a rut [because it helps] to physically move myself. Also, sleeping. If I’m stuck in a rut, it’s likely because I’m getting burnt out. I tend to work myself to burn out pretty easily. Then, I’ll cancel plans and I’ll sleep because sometimes I just really need a mental reset. I need to sleep in without an alarm and I’ll feel so much better the next day.”

What’s one thing you wish to accomplish? “A solo show in New York City! That one’s easy for me, because I’m already planning it right now, but it’s something I’ve always wanted to do.

What’s your favorite piece of advice that you’ve gotten? “Leap and the net will appear. I just got LEAP tattooed on my hand [laughs].”

Who inspires you the most? “A mix of all of my New York City artist friends that I spend my time with. There’s this very beautiful, artistic, creative community that I feel so giddy to be a part of. I see their journeys and I see what they’re up to and how they keep going. As an artist in my 20s in New York, I just love being a part of that; they inspire me so much. I feel like I’m kind of a mosaic of these people that are around me.”

Who, if anyone, do you try to emulate? “I almost want to be a person that’s emulated — which I have seen when I start getting tagged in things and people would say, “This is so KARO.” It’s honestly the biggest form of flattery.”

What’s something people ask you for advice about often? “People always ask me how to quit their job that they’re not happy with when they have artistic passions. I hear that all the time and that’s my favorite conversation to have. You can put me in a room with someone for an hour who’s on the brink of quitting their job and I’ll make them quit [laughs].”

What’s a piece of advice you felt proud to give? “Definitely the above advice. It’s wild because a couple of years ago, I was on the other side of it, and wondering, How do I quit my job? It’s the most terrifying thing in the world. I had to ask myself: Are my passions legitimate? Or are they just this silly hobby? I had so many self-limiting beliefs and so many things that I was worried about. [It’s great] to be in a position where, I know for a fact, that I made the right decision. There’s no doubt or anxiety in my head, and I feel very thankful.”

What is your most-used app on your phone? “It was StreetEasy until I finally found my dream apartment recently. I was using StreetEasy like it was Instagram — I was refreshing it every day. But now, it’s probably CapCut because I edit nearly everything on it. I spend so much time on there — my screen time goes way up because of how much time I’m working on it.”

What do you do when you feel yourself burning out? “I will cancel all of my plans to give myself time to be alone, journal, exercise, and sleep. I need my alone time. I’m a very social introvert, but I need to recharge by myself.”

What’s something you consider a secret weapon? “I think I have a couple. First, it’s the fact that both of my parents are immigrants. I grew up multiculturally and my stepfamily is also from a completely different culture than my own. My mom is from Peru, my dad is from Germany, and my stepfamily is Lebanese. I was raised trilingual with Spanish and German. My German isn’t that great, though. Growing up with an immigrant family really influenced my worldview, work ethic, and appreciation of diverse experiences. It feels like a superpower. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had a much more open mind and a much bigger world view. I think that’s a huge privilege: to be able to see a bigger map of the way people live.

My other secret weapon is that I know how to do all the parts of KARO that I’m doing — the business stuff, the software, the Photoshop editing, and the animations. I don’t have to rely on other people all of the time and I can be independent in a lot of respects. People can be intimidated and think they need to hire people for everything — which isn’t always true especially when you’re just starting out.”

Where are you, compared to where you thought you’d be at 12 years old? “I’m light years beyond where I thought I’d be when I was 12 years old! My 12-year-old self could not even fathom where I could possibly be today. I just did not have any self-confidence at 12 years old, and I totally didn’t think that what I’m doing was even an option. I just kind of saw my life going in a very traditional, nuclear [direction] like everyone around me.”

What’s been your biggest piece of support, helping you get to where you are? “My friends and loved ones in my life just loving me and always being supportive of my ideas and not making me feel weird about them. I know a lot of people that try and put themselves out there, and their friends are just like, ‘Why are you doing that?’ The judgment can be a major block. My friends would always like my posts on Instagram when I had zero followers and they would share them. Also, the people who follow me and have been supporting and talking about my art in person to other people. And anyone wearing my work or putting it in their home. That is what makes it possible for me to have this as a full-time career — that kind of support. I’m extremely grateful that I have an audience now. I would be doing this regardless, and I have been doing this my whole life, but the only difference now and why I can make it a career is because I have an audience that listens now.”

If you could change one thing about your professional life, what would it be? “I wish I had more free time. It’s astounding how quickly a day goes by because my to-do list is never-ending, and it’s mostly filled with things that I’m really excited about and want to do. I love what I do. It’s just that there’s no time.”

What do you do to start your workday? “Timeboxing. I block out my day because I’m very scatter-brained and all over the place. I have a never-ending to-do list, and it forces myself to pick three top priorities for the day, and then I can brain-dump in another section [of my planner], and then I can time-lock another section. It helps my brain immensely. I cannot go through a day without a time box or else the day is going to be a mess and I’m going to feel terrible.”

What do you do to end your workday? “I’ll journal again. I like to exercise and take weird workout classes. By weird, I mean, I’ll just try new things. There’s a studio right next to my studio that does really fun pole classes, hoop classes, trapeze, and aerial art. It’s really cool.”

Why do you code? “[I code] when there’s a specific effect I want to achieve with my art like projection-mapping. It gets me where I want to go and is the tool to get me there.”

What’s one thing you’d change about your industry? “[I wish there was] more support and representation for women — women in higher positions and more female voices. I love the initiative that certain companies are taking now. Computer Science is Everything especially, with its efforts to empower women. I love that initiative, and that’s so much of what I want to have for my own brand, too. I’ve seen so much misogyny in the industries that I’ve worked in. So, continuing to put myself out there is hopefully a little tiny piece of that change. We need more female voices in these industries.”

What are you hoping the future of tech will look like? “Definitely to see more representation and more female-led businesses.”

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The words “Forever I Love Atlanta,” or FILA if you’re in the know, hit a little differently for me now. I may be from Virginia, but growing up, Atlanta’s influence stretched far beyond Georgia’s borders, it was everywhere. ATL’s music? Unmatched. The style? Iconic. The confidence? Contagious. Some of my favorite artists from childhood — Kelly Rowland, Ludacris, Usher — either came from or were heavily influenced by Atlanta’s creative energy. The city has long been the undisputed epicenter of Black culture in America. From the food to the fashion to the slang, Atlanta’s impact is generational. We’ve all borrowed a little ATL swag — knowingly or not. And to be honest, we should all probably have to pay the city royalties. When I found myself back in Atlanta with Adidas Originals to celebrate 404 Day, a hyper-local holiday named after Atlanta’s OG area code, this April, I was reminded why the city has held such a special place in my heart.

It wasn’t until I was around 16 that I took my first trip down south to Atlanta and finally saw what the hype was about. I remember stepping off the plane and instantly clocking two things: how green it was (like, the trees were showing off), and how unapologetically Black it was. Both felt like a deep exhale. This big, bold, vibrant city with such a rich past made me feel instantly at home. Atlanta doesn’t just welcome you, it embraces you. And 404 Day is proof of that spirit. Born from the city’s deep sense of pride and community, 404 Day has become an annual love letter to all things ATL. It’s a day to honor Atlanta’s legacy in music, fashion, sports, and more. Think of it as a homecoming—but for the culture.

This year, Adidas partnered with the 404 Collective and The Athlete’s Foot, two names that are deeply woven into the fabric of the city. The 404 Collective is the brainchild of four powerhouse Black-owned entities: Atlanta Influences Everything, Butter ATL, Finish First, and the Trap Music Museum—who decided to move from working in silos to building something bigger, together.

I sat down with Jahi “Jah” Rawlings, CEO of the Atlanta Entertainment Basketball League (AEBL), Finish First Marketing Agency and 1/4 of The 404 Collective to talk about what makes the city and the celebration so unique. “We were all creating moments for 404 Day, but we realized the city needed a unified front to really make an impact,” said Jah. “We didn’t just want a party. We wanted to open doors, give back, and make sure people who might be overlooked got their shot.” That mentality led to events like the inaugural 404 Day parade where thousands of people showed up to march and the upcoming launch of the 404 Festival, a multi-day cultural event set to rival Dreamville and One Music Fest. “The next five years, Atlanta’s going to be the focal point of the country,” Jah told me. “So we’re building something that reflects that.”

That “something” extends to streetwear and sneaker culture too. “Atlanta doesn’t always get the recognition, but our youth are trendsetters,” he said. “They’re not just following anymore, they’re creating the culture, and the brands are starting to listen.”

I also had the opportunity to talk to Darrius Billings, Director of Marketing at The Athlete’s Foot (and fellow Howard alum—HU, you know!). The Athlete’s Foot, which has been rooted in Atlanta since 1985, teamed up with the 404 Collective and Adidas to design a sneaker that pays tribute to the city’s soul.“Atlanta is Hollywood and it’s hood,” he told me. “So when we designed the Adidas x 404 sneaker collab, we wanted it to reflect both sides.” The final design is a masterclass in symbolism; from luxe red bottoms nodding to fashion culture, to a peach gold grill detail on the tongue, to a sock liner featuring Atlanta’s iconic zone map.

And it’s not just the shoes that speak volumes. “The Athlete’s Foot has been in Atlanta since 1985,” Darrius shared. “Our stores are built to be more than places to buy sneakers—we host tutoring, community talks, even open mic events. We want people to feel like they belong.” That local-first model is what sets them apart; franchisees aren’t just store owners, they’re community members. So when Adidas wanted to create a shoe rooted in Atlanta’s soul, it made perfect sense to tap Darrius and the 404 Collective to lead it.

Darrius also emphasized the importance of visibility and access in the sneaker industry. As the Atlanta lead for Black Footwear Forum, he’s helping pave the way for more Black creatives to enter every part of the footwear business, not just design. “If you don’t know, you just don’t know,” he said. “So we break it down. Marketing, legal, operations, there’s space for all of us.”

Between Jah and Darrius, it’s clear 404 Day isn’t just a date on the calendar—it’s a movement. A reclamation. A call to action for the culture, by the culture. And being a part of it reminded me why Atlanta has always been more than a city. It’s a vibe. A blueprint. A heartbeat. And while I may technically be a Virginia girl, every time I visit ATL, I feel like I’m coming home.

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Cosmic Beings, May is not a month we’ll forget. It opens with the skies singing a soft rebellion. On May 1st at 11:00 p.m. EST, Uranus, the planet of revolution, currently in Taurus, forms a sextile with the North Node in Pisces (which symbolizes our collective higher destiny). The message is clear: the world is weird, and you are too. But that’s the gift. This is a time to embrace your quirks, your contradictions, your inner indie film protagonist who paints under moonlight and dances like nobody’s watching — because chances are, someone is, and they’ve been waiting for someone just like you. Taurus energy teaches us to embody our values, while Pisces vibes urge us to dream without borders. When they harmonize, we start choosing the offbeat path because it feels like home. We begin trusting that doing what lights us up is the way to find our people, our peace, and our purpose.

This theme of polarity only intensifies as the month unfolds. On May 4th, a dramatic First Quarter Moon in Leo at 9:51 a.m. EST asks, “Who are you when no one’s clapping?” And just a couple hours later, Pluto stations retrograde in Aquarius at 11:27 a.m. EST, challenging us to confront what power really looks like in the collective age. Leo wants to shine. Aquarius wants to rebel. Together, these two transits tug on our egos and say, “Show up — but make it real.” You may feel torn between taking center stage and disappearing completely. But this is what May is about: extremes, contradictions, fixed sign tension. The kind that births art, movements, romance, and wild revelations.

That tension continues to build as Mercury enters Taurus on May 10th at 8:15 a.m. EST, grounding our thoughts in earthy logic… just in time for an emotional tsunami. Then the full moon in Scorpio arrives on May 12th at 12:56 p.m. EST, and it’s not here to play.

Think snake-shedding-its-skin energy (during the year of the snake at that!). Think tears in the bath followed by the best orgasm of your life. Think secrets rising to the surface, shadow work breakthroughs, and letting go of personas that no longer serve your truth. In a nine year, the year of karmic endings and completions, and with Scorpio ruling death and rebirth — this full moon is a portal. Let it undo you. You’re ready.

Mid-month, things get both healing and hazy. On May 18th at 9:44 a.m. EST, Jupiter in Gemini forms a harmonious aspect to Chiron in Aries, and for a moment, it feels like our wounds have a purpose. Like the mess is actually the medicine. But just a few hours later, Jupiter squares the North Node in Pisces at 2:46 p.m. EST, reminding us not to rush our way out of discomfort. Be wary of trying to “heal” everything in one go. Expansion is sacred, but not if it skips the integration. Be with the process. Let yourself be beautifully, unapologetically in between.

But wait, there’s more! On May 20th at 2:54 p.m. EST, the sun winks at us as it enters Gemini, and suddenly… there’s more air in the room. Laughter. Movement. Curiosity.

We trade some of that fixed sign intensity for a little Peter Pan chaos magic. Gemini says, “Try something new. Make a mess. Ask a hot stranger their favorite book.” It doesn’t have to make sense right now. Gemini Season gives us permission to be flexible, playful, even contradictory. And we need it, because honey — what comes next is legendary.

May 24th at 11:36 p.m. EST is a cosmic game-changer. Saturn enters Aries for the first time in 29 years. Let that sink in. The planet of discipline, structure, and reality-checks leaves foggy Pisces (where we all kind of felt like we were swimming through soup) and enters the sign of fire, action, and raw instinct. Saturn in Pisces was a dream we kept trying to wake up from, but now? Now we’re awake, and we’re on fire. Saturn in Aries says, “Okay, visionary, roll up your sleeves.” Paired with Mars in Leo, this shift is a cosmic Red Bull. Just don’t forget: Saturn’s here to keep you sober. You’re driving a race car. Stay alert. Don’t confuse speed for direction.

And just when we think we can’t take any more upgrades, Mercury enters Gemini on May 25th at 8:59 p.m. EST and says, “Let’s remix reality a little.” The planet of communication loves being here — it’s at home, buzzing with ideas, jokes, and spontaneous travel plans. And on May 26th at 11:02 p.m. EST, the new moon in Gemini joins the party. Picture Mercury turning to the moon and saying, “You ready to shake things up?” and the Moon replying, “I’ve been waiting for this cue.” Together, they offer us a portal of playful curiosity, the perfect closing note to a month full of rebirth, polarity, and purposeful chaos. This is a sneak peek of Uranus in Gemini coming later this summer — a reminder that the universe is wildly more creative than we are. Our job is to stay curious and open, even when it doesn’t all make sense yet.

Read your horoscopes for your Sun and Rising signs for the most in-depth forecast.

Aries Sun & Rising:

Buckle up, Aries — Pluto retrograde in Aquarius hits your sector of friendships and technology on May 4 at 11:27 a.m. EST, and it’s about to start peeling back the curtain on your group chats, DMs, and digital habits. If you’ve been tolerating performative alliances, ghosting the people who actually care, or playing nice with folks who don’t align with your deeper vision… Pluto’s about to drag you (lovingly). This retrograde is a six-month journey of asking: who are you when no one’s watching your Stories? Who do you really want to build a future with?

Then the Scorpio full moon drops on May 12 at 12:56 p.m. EST in your sector of intimacy and transformation, and yeah, it’s giving “emotional enema.” Whatever you’ve buried — old heartbreaks, revenge fantasies, unspoken grief — it’s rising. This full moon doesn’t want to ruin you, but it does want to rebuild you. Let the catharsis in. Don’t run. You’ll feel better once you stop pretending you’re over it. It’s okay to scream-cry into a pillow and then journal about your financial goals five minutes later. You’re complex. Let it be known.

Thankfully, Gemini Season kicks off on May 20 at 2:54 p.m. EST, activating your communication sector and giving you back your spark. Mercury enters Gemini on May 25th, followed by the new moon on May 26th, and suddenly you’re that friend sending voice notes from the rooftop with 10 tabs open and three new business ideas. Let it fly.

And now for the headline of this month: Saturn enters your sign on May 24th at 11:36 p.m. EST for the first time in 29 years. This is a major rebirth. You’re at the start of a 30-year cycle. Saturn is here to help you level up — but only if you’re willing to earn your glow. Show up for yourself like it’s your job. Because, in a way, it is.

Taurus Sun & Rising:

Taurus, what if reinvention could feel like coming home to yourself, not running away from who you’ve been? May begins with a sobering shift as Pluto stations retrograde in Aquarius on May 4 at 11:27 a.m. EST, activating your sector of career and public image. The truth is, you’re changing — visibly. And while you may look grounded and composed on the surface (Taurus aesthetic stays undefeated), Pluto’s retrograde is asking: what part of your public persona is actually performative? Are you chasing success on your terms or someone else’s? The pressure to be perceived as “together” may hit different this month, especially if you’ve been quietly craving a new direction.

As the month continues, the emotional temperature rises with the Scorpio full moon on May 12 at 12:56 p.m. EST, illuminating your sector of partnership. This lunation might crack open your walls, whether you’re coupled or single. If you’ve been the one pretending you’re “fine” while holding resentment or longing inside? That’s a wrap.

Scorpio energy wants raw truth, not curated peace. Let yourself be vulnerable. It’s better to face the discomfort than fake harmony. Love —whether romantic, platonic, or self — demands depth now. And yes, that might mean crying mid-text or finally saying the thing you’ve been swallowing for six months. Let it out. The healing is in the release.

But just when you thought May was all shadow and intensity, the winds shift. Gemini Season begins on May 20th, lighting up your sector of income, confidence, and personal values. Suddenly, there’s movement. Mercury enters Gemini on May 25th, and the new moon follows on May 26th, reminding you that you can make money in unexpected, even weird, ways— especially with Uranus still vibing in your sign.

Then — boom — Saturn enters Aries on May 24th at 11:36 p.m. EST, activating your sector of spirituality. This is massive. Saturn hasn’t been here in over two decades. You’re entering a phase of deeper soul accountability. Expect an urge to clean up your energetic hygiene, face your inner saboteur, and explore spiritual practices that are both ancestral and futuristic. The last week of the month sets the stage for a powerful inner reboot. You’re not lost, Taurus. You’re evolving on purpose.

Gemini Sun & Rising:

You’ve been in hermit mode, Gemini —plotting, reflecting, shedding. But now in May? You’re the butterfly stepping out of the cocoon… and you’re glowing. The month begins with Pluto retrograde in Aquarius on May 4 at 11:27 a.m. EST, shaking up your sector of expansion, education, and belief systems. It’s no longer enough to say what you “used to believe.” Your values are evolving in real time, and you’re not afraid to admit that you’ve outgrown some past versions of yourself. This retrograde invites you to question the narratives you’ve inherited — about success, truth, love, and power. You don’t have to subscribe to someone else’s map when your internal GPS is pointing to liberation.

Mid-month, the energy intensifies with the Scorpio full moon on May 12th at 12:56 p.m. EST, activating your sector of wellness, work, and routine. If you’ve been ignoring your body or spiritually bypassing your stress, the full moon might be your final warning to check yourself. Cry in the bath. Say no to overbooking yourself. Take the day off. You’ve been giving so much mental energy to the future, but your nervous system needs you now. Shed the toxic productivity mindset. Rest is not a weakness. It’s a reset.

Then — drumroll — Gemini Season begins on May 20th at 2:54 p.m. EST, and suddenly you’re back in your element. Mercury (your ruling planet) enters Gemini on May 25th, and the new moon in your sign lands on May 26th, offering a total identity refresh. This is your rebirth. You’re reinventing the way you express, flirt, create, and connect. And with Saturn entering Aries on May 24th, activating your sector of community and long-term dreams, the universe is officially taking your visions seriously. Structure meets spontaneity. Play meets purpose. Show us how multifaceted you are. We’re ready for it.

Cancer Sun & Rising:

What if hiding isn’t the safest choice anymore, Cancer? What if being seen is where your power lives now? Pluto retrograde in Aquarius hits your sector of transformation and shared energy on May 4th at 11:27 a.m. EST, and it’s asking you to sit with the uncomfortable. Whether it’s financial vulnerability, intimacy wounds, or deep emotional patterns that you’ve buried beneath your “I’m fine,” this retrograde’s about to unearth it. The invitation? Reclaim your power by honoring your fears, not suppressing them. The things you avoid may be the exact places where your strength is waiting.

By May 12th, the Scorpio full moon rises in your sector of joy, romance, and creativity at 12:56 p.m. EST, reminding you of what it feels like to truly feel. The passion, the longing, the ache, the beauty. Whether you’ve been romanticizing your past or numbing out from the present, this lunation is like a flash of lightning that reconnects you to your artistic and emotional depth. Yes, it may sting. But it’s also going to heal something wild in you. You’re allowed to want more. You’re allowed to want magic.

The last third of the month brings much-needed levity. Gemini Season begins on May 20th, activating your sector of spirituality and solitude. This is your cocoon phase — quiet, sacred, introspective. Mercury joins on May 25th, and the Gemini new moon on May 26th urges you to unplug and re-align. It’s not about disappearing; it’s about coming home to your intuition. Meanwhile, Saturn enters Aries on May 24th, launching a brand-new two-year cycle in your sector of career and public presence. Yep — your time is coming. Let this spiritual hibernation ground you for the moves you’re about to make. The world is waiting.

Leo Sun & Rising:

What happens when your spotlight turns inward, Leo? What happens when the applause fades, and you’re alone with your reflection? The month starts with Pluto retrograde in Aquarius on May 4th at 11:27 a.m. EST, shaking your sector of partnerships and long-term commitments. You might realize that something (or someone) isn’t aligned anymore — and that’s okay. Pluto retrograde is about reclaiming your power, especially if you’ve been compromising too much in the name of “keeping the peace.” This is your cosmic permission slip to stop settling. Be honest about the kind of love — and the kind of life — you’re willing to fight for.

Then comes the Scorpio full moon on May 12th at 12:56 p.m. EST, lighting up your sector of home, ancestry, and emotional roots. Leo, this lunation might crack your chest open in the best and worst ways. It’s okay to grieve the versions of yourself that no longer feel safe. You may feel called to release generational patterns or finally admit that you’re tired of holding it all together for everyone else. Vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s your portal to true power.

Thankfully, a wave of relief arrives as Gemini Season begins on May 20th, lighting up your sector of friendship and community. Suddenly, you want to be seen again — really seen, by people who get you. Mercury enters Gemini on May 25th, and the Gemini new moon on May 26th is your social reset button. Let yourself laugh again. Flirt again.

Reconnect with the joy of just being around your people. And when Saturn enters Aries on May 24th, your sector of expansion is lit. It’s time to take your beliefs seriously. You’re entering a cycle of spiritual maturity, wild travel, and big truth-telling. The universe is asking: are you ready to grow beyond your comfort zone? (Hint: yes, you are.)

Virgo Sun & Rising:

What if the plan isn’t falling apart, Virgo… what if you’re being called to change your relationship to control itself? Pluto begins its retrograde in Aquarius on May 4th at 11:27 a.m. EST, hitting your sector of routine, health, and service. Your systems, schedules, and perfectionism are being interrogated — and dragged. Are your habits truly supporting your evolution, or just keeping you “safe”? This retrograde wants to help you reclaim your time and energy, even if it means letting go of the rituals or jobs you’ve outgrown. You’re not a machine. Stop treating yourself like one.

On May 12th, the Scorpio full moon lands in your communication sector at 12:56 p.m. EST, and it’s coming for your inner monologue. The words you’ve left unsaid? The journal entries you ripped out and threw away? They’re rising now. This is your invitation to say the thing — out loud. With your chest. With love, but also with clarity. Whether it’s a tough conversation or a breakthrough idea, your voice has power this month. Don’t silence yourself for the comfort of others. Scorpio’s here to help you speak from your truth, not your fear.

Then, the energy lightens and expands. Gemini Season begins May 20th, activating your sector of career and legacy. You’re getting noticed — and your ideas are speaking for you. Mercury enters Gemini on May 25th, followed by a Gemini new moon on May 26th, offering a fresh start in how you present your work to the world. And with Saturn entering Aries on May 24th, your sector of intimacy and shared resources begins a two-year storyline of deeper emotional accountability. You’re learning to merge without losing yourself. It’s intense — but you’ve trained your whole life for this.

Libra Sun & Rising:

What if love is meant to be messy, sacred, and honest — not just cute and aesthetically pleasing, Libra? The month kicks off with Pluto stationing retrograde in Aquarius on May 4th at 11:27 a.m. EST, hitting your sector of romance, creativity, and personal joy.

Translation: your inner artist, lover, and muse are being summoned to take the mic. Have you been playing small in your joy, or dimming your weirdness for fear of judgment? That’s not going to fly anymore. Pluto retrograde says: reclaim your magic. Even if it’s chaotic. Especially if it’s chaotic.

Then on May 12th at 12:56 p.m. EST, the Scorpio full moon activates your sector of money and self-worth, and it’s time for some real talk. If you’ve been undercharging, overgiving, or relying on validation to feel worthy, this lunation is your wake-up call. You don’t need to prove anything. Let go of scarcity narratives, release your attachment to outdated versions of “success,” and redefine your value from the inside out. Shed the shame. Invest in yourself.

As Gemini season begins May 20th, you get a refreshing dose of air in your chart. Your sector of truth, travel, and higher learning is activated, and suddenly the world feels open again. Mercury joins Gemini on May 25th, followed by the new moon on May 26th, bringing new insights, new philosophies, and maybe even a literal ticket out of town. Expand. Try something uncharacteristically bold. And with Saturn entering Aries on May 24th, your relationship sector becomes the site of serious growth. You’re learning what long-term love really requires — from you and for you. No more situationships that lead nowhere. No more over-romanticizing red flags. You’re ready for real.

Scorpio Sun & Rising:

Scorpio… I know you’re always in a rebirth arc. But this month? This one hits different. Pluto, one of your planetary rulers, stations retrograde in Aquarius on May 4th at 11:27 a.m. EST, shaking your sector of home, roots, and inner emotional safety. If your foundations have been feeling fragile, this retrograde will show you where the cracks are — and how to rebuild better. You may feel a pull toward ancestral healing, reconnecting with family, or redefining what “home” actually means for you. Let yourself go deep. You’re not losing control. You’re finding a more authentic version of it.

Then comes your annual full moon. On May 12th at 12:56 p.m. EST, the Scorpio full moon lands in your sector of self, and you’re shedding layers like it’s your job. Old insecurities, projections, facades from the past six months — gone. This is you looking in the mirror and saying, “Wow. I’ve always been powerful. I just had to stop pretending I wasn’t.” This is a Phoenix moment, no exaggeration. You don’t need anyone’s permission to rise. Just your own presence. Spend time celebrating your growth with this potent lunation. You did that!

After all that intensity, Gemini Season arrives on May 20th, activating your sector of transformation, intimacy, and financial merging for the next four weeks. This is your research lab, your tantric study zone, your emotional depth territory. Mercury enters Gemini May 25th, and the Gemini new moon follows May 26th, inviting new beginnings in your energetic exchanges with others. Meanwhile, Saturn enters Aries on May 24th, kicking off a new cycle in your sector of daily rituals, health, and personal responsibility. Your healing is no longer optional — it’s foundational. You’re learning to structure your brilliance. And your glow up? It’s going to be long-lasting.

Sagittarius Sun & Rising:

How long can you outrun your own shadow, Sagittarius? What if stillness holds the answers your passport can’t? May begins with Pluto retrograde in Aquarius on May 4th at 11:27 a.m. EST, stirring your sector of communication and mindset. Your thoughts, words, and online voice are under review. You may find yourself questioning what’s behind your need to always “move on,” always say the right thing, always keep it light. Pluto’s asking: what’s the truth you’ve been scared to speak — especially to yourself?

That truth gets even louder on May 12th, when the Scorpio full moon lands in your sector of spirituality and subconscious at 12:56 p.m. EST. If you’ve been spiritually bypassing with distractions, this full moon isn’t having it. You’ve been running, scrolling, flirting, and booking flights left and right (or dreaming of it) — but some emotions need to be felt, not avoided. This lunation is a chance to break down in order to break through. You’re not weak for crying in solitude. You’re wise for finally listening to your inner voice.

Then as the month evolves, the light returns. Gemini Season begins on May 20th, lighting up your sector of partnership. You’re re-learning how to relate, how to be soft and strong, how to communicate what you actually want. Mercury enters Gemini on May 25th, and the Gemini new moon on May 26th offers fresh starts in love, collabs, and contracts. Meanwhile, Saturn enters Aries on May 24th, launching a whole new cycle in your sector of creativity and pleasure. Your joy is no longer a side quest — it’s the mission. But Saturn wants you to build a foundation for that joy. Make time for what makes you feel alive, and do it consistently.

Capricorn Sun & Rising:

Capricorn, what if your definition of “success” has been too narrow all along? May kicks off with a wake-up call. Pluto stations retrograde in Aquarius on May 4th at 11:27 a.m. EST, challenging your relationship with money, worth, and independence. You’ve been building empires… but at what cost? This retrograde isn’t here to take your power. It’s here to help you wield it better. You may realize it’s time to change how you relate to ownership, income, or even your digital footprint. There’s more power in your authenticity than your performance.

The Scorpio full moon arrives May 12th at 12:56 p.m. EST, lighting up your sector of community and vision. If you’ve been blending in with crowds that no longer reflect your dreams, this lunation will shake that loose. You’re not meant to be palatable. You’re meant to be purposeful. Let go of the social masks. Start speaking from your soul. Whether you’re going viral or going ghost, it’s time to let your future self lead.

As Gemini Season begins on May 20th, your sector of wellness and structure lights up. You’re refining your schedule and rituals — not from guilt, but from alignment. Mercury joins Gemini on May 25th, and the Gemini new moon on May 26th is your moment to set intentions around sustainable productivity. Then — boom — Saturn enters Aries on May 24th, activating your sector of home, ancestry, and emotional foundation for the first time since 1999. The next two years are asking: what kind of legacy do you want to root into? It’s not just about building a life. It’s about healing the ground it’s built on.

Aquarius Sun & Rising:

Are you ready to face yourself, Aquarius — not the version you curated, but the one that’s always been waiting underneath? The month begins with a massive internal shift. Pluto stations retrograde in your sign on May 4th at 11:27 a.m. EST, and you’re entering a deep period of identity excavation. This isn’t a surface-level rebrand. This is soul work. You’re releasing the projections, perfectionism, and personas that were meant to protect you — but now just keep you confined. Let the transformation happen. You’re not breaking down. You’re breaking open.

The Scorpio full moon on May 12th at 12:56 p.m. EST lands in your sector of career and public image, pushing you into the spotlight… or out of it, if that spotlight isn’t aligned. You may experience a reckoning with your role, your reputation, or the pressure to always be “ahead of the curve.” Let go of the need to perform. Ask yourself: am I building something true, or just doing it for the validation? It’s okay to shift directions, even dramatically.

Then in the final third of the month comes a major mood shift. Gemini Season starts on May 20th, bringing life to your sector of creativity, romance, and fun. Yes, you’re allowed to flirt with the universe again. Mercury also enters Gemini on May 25th, and the Gemini new moon on May 26th reminds you that joy can be sacred, too. And just when you’re finding your rhythm, Saturn enters Aries on May 24th, marking a huge new cycle in your communication and learning sector. It’s time to take your voice seriously. You don’t need a megaphone — you need conviction. Start writing the story of who you’re becoming.

Pisces Sun & Rising:

What if your softness is your superpower this month, Pisces, but boundaries are the armor that let it thrive? Pluto retrograde begins May 4th at 11:27 a.m. EST, activating your sector of spirituality and the subconscious. This is the underworld tour of your soul… and yes, it might get uncomfortable. Old wounds, past-life patterns, ancestral grief — Pluto’s digging it all up. But instead of drowning in it, you’re being shown how to release it. This is shadow work. This is transformation. Trust your dreams. Journal everything. Light a candle. Ask your spirit guides for clarity.

The Scorpio full moon arrives on May 12th at 12:56 p.m. EST, lighting up your sector of wisdom and higher learning, and suddenly, something clicks. Maybe you finally forgive someone. Maybe you forgive yourself. This is a spiritual graduation after six months of intense overwhelm. If you’ve been doubting your gifts, hiding your truth, or second- guessing your path — this lunation ends that. You know who you are. It’s time to act like it. Let yourself expand, even if it scares you.

Then comes the cosmic plot twist. Gemini Season begins May 20th, and your sector of home and emotional foundation is activated for the next four weeks. You may want to redecorate, reconnect with family, or just cocoon for a bit. Mercury enters Gemini on May 25th, and the Gemini new moon on May 26th offers a clean slate emotionally, helping you take life less seriously.

And then for the final hoorah: Saturn, the planet of challenge, leaves your sign for the first time in over two years and enters Aries on May 24th, activating your sector of finances, self-worth, and value. This is the start of your wealth-building arc. But it starts with you knowing — not hoping — that you deserve more. Let this be the month where your intention and your discipline finally align.

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If there’s anyone who deserves to be celebrated come May 11, it’s your mom. After all, she did give you life… and someone to vent to during your angsty teenage years (and beyond). While moms are famous for saying things like, “Don’t spend your money on me,” and “Being with you is more than enough,” we know better than to show up to brunch this Mother’s Day empty-handed. This year, we’re going a step further with a luxury gift that will cement our status as her favorite.

To ensure that your mom (or the mom in your life) gets the kind of gift she deserves this Mother’s Day, we rounded up 26 extra-special gifts she’s sure to love, with many that only look and feel expensive.

At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

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Unless you’ve been living under a particularly beauty-starved rock, The Ordinary is a brand you know well. It’s probably in your bathroom cabinet right now! But insiders know that The Ordinary’s parent company, Deciem, is a treasure trove of creative brands that are somewhat of a best-kept secret, despite The Ordinary’s fame.

Last year, Deciem unveiled LOoPHA, a modern fragrance brand to scent your life. Think sensorial hand and body washes, plus forthcoming body serums and scented hand and body mists with elevated fragrances like Oud + Amber (a smoky blend of sweet oud, warm amber, citrusy bergamot, and gourmand tonka bean), Broadleaf Forest (like the name suggests, a crisp combination of cedar, dry patchouli, and zingy vetiver), and Chalk, a nostalgic, specific scent concept brought to life via mint, fresh saffron, sugared anise, and powdered musk.

For our beauty director Jacqueline Kilikita, the body washes have quickly stolen the spotlight: “Not just because they’re stylish and affordable,” she says — everything is under $20, BTW — “but because the scents rival those of niche fragrance brands, in my opinion.” Oud + Amber is her fragrance of choice: “It smells like a sweet, smoky eau de parfum that lingers on the skin. One pump on a loofah is enough to cleanse my whole body, it’s that good, and it also doubles as a hand wash.”

Oud + Amber Hand + Body Wash, $18

Broadleaf Forest Hand + Body Wash, $18

What makes LOoPHA’s body washes really special is that they’re gentle enough for Kilikita’s dermatitis-prone skin, without exacerbating any dryness or irritation — and it’s all thanks to the ingredients.

Like The Ordinary, LOoPHA is all about innovative, effective ingredients (an emphasis on transparency is a well-known Deciem calling card) and clean — pun intended — minimal packaging. While the scents take center stage, the formula remains gentle and non-irritating, thanks to moisturizing jojoba esters (derived from the oil of the same name that is naturally bioavailable) and glycerin (a powerful humectant to help your skin retain moisture). Most notably, it uses apple- and babassu-derived surfactants for a rich, plant-based, sulfate-free lather.

As Refinery29’s senior writer (and lifelong lover of all things beauty), Broadleaf Forest is my go-to; I’ve gone through two bottles already — one by my bathroom sink, and another in the shower — and I’m nowhere near tired of it.

I work out a lot (hot yoga being my workout of choice), and so I demand a lot from my body wash: It has to whisk away buckets of sweat but not strip my skin. Other sulfate-free body cleansers don’t always create the rich lather that makes me feel clean, but this one delivers. In fact, I don’t think I’d have ever guessed it was sulfate-free in a ‘blind’ test — that’s how well it works. Plus, it creates a spa-like ambiance in my bathroom every time I use it.

Where Oud + Amber is warm and sensual, Broadleaf Forest is crisp and clean, but not too herbal that it takes a turn for the medicinal. While $18 is more than typical drugstore prices, the formulas are on par with what you’d expect from a luxury brand. Kilikita agrees: “I finished my last bottle a month ago, and honestly? I’m still thinking about it.”

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An old adage says that it takes some 10,000 hours to become a bona fide expert at something. While I can barely string a sentence together in French, have zero sporting ability, and never learned how to drive, at least there’s one pursuit where I have gone pro: sourcing fashion items my teenage self never got over.

In the mid-late aughts, the Windows desktop computer that sat in the kitchen of my family home became a portal to a world far glossier than my day-to-day reality in a seaside town in Ireland. When I made my way home from school, before the rest of my siblings would pile in and I’d be forced to study or do chores, there was a sacred sliver of time where all was still.

Free to go down any Google rabbit hole, I’d pop some Deadmau5 or MGMT on my iPod Mini and revel in an hour of designer discovery and fashion bliss. I’d indulge in a quick read of Perez Hilton to see what the It Girls of Soho and West Hollywood were up to — yearning for their Alexander McQueen skull scarves, Chloé Paddington bags, and Yves Saint Laurent Arty rings. I’d continue my whistlestop tour of the web with a scroll through Blogger, Tumblr, and Lookbook.NU, and, if time obliged, I’d pray the latest episode of Gossip Girl or Ugly Betty was available (on LimeWire, naturally) to momentarily beam me into Manhattan.

Probably due to this ongoing secret hour of style sleuthing, I even began dreaming about moving to New York City to work at a fashion magazine. Motivated, I made it my business to immerse myself in Style.com reviews, diligently saving runway images I was inspired by on various Pinterest boards.

Even though it’s been the better part of two decades, many of the outfits and items that initially caused my heart to sing during those days remain etched into my memory.

Sometime in 2018, several years into my career as, yes, a fashion writer living in the U.S., I was absentmindedly scrolling through The RealReal when I clapped eyes on the one — the one that, aged 15, I promised myself I would wear for my wedding. Modeled by Lily Donaldson in the Roberto Cavalli Spring/Summer 2008 show, this champagne silk baby doll maxi dress with watercolor-style flowers cascading down its side had imprinted itself onto my cerebral cortex one day as I sat in my school uniform in Dublin, and its appeal never faded for a second. A decade later, I clicked “purchase” on the unworn, still-tagged dress with the same sense of urgency that I felt as a teen with limited, fleeting moments to be transported somewhere else through fashion.

Over the last seven years, that hallowed runway find has not only moved across the country with me and dangled from rails in closets in five different apartments (not to mention, seen some questionable romantic relationships that, thankfully, didn’t end in a trip down the aisle), it served as a reminder that the pieces I once fawned over are all just a fateful keyword search away. As my friends get into things like pickleball or pottery, this has become my choice of adult hobby.

In March, when I blew out 33 candles on the cake, I did so in a black-and-gold embellished halterneck mini, this time from the Roberto Cavalli Spring/Summer 2007 collection. I’d copped it on The RealReal a few years ago after having flashbacks of Victoria Beckham wearing it at the height of her WAG heyday. On the night, without even meaning to lean into the Y2K of it all, I styled it with a vintage zebra print clutch from Jimmy Choo and vintage beaded gladiator stilettos by Giuseppe Zanotti. As I surveyed the final look in the mirror, I smiled to myself, thinking that 2007 me would lose her mind to know that these pieces came from her own closet. Oh, and my birthday gift to myself this year? A hard-to-find Yves Saint Laurent chunky Arty cuff from Stefano Pilati’s time at the helm circa 2009 that showed up on eBay. It took almost a month to arrive from a seller in Eastern Europe, but some things are worth the wait, as evidenced by the fact that it was on one of those Pinterest wishlist boards I had made 12 years earlier.

Last year, my birthday frock made its way to me in Manhattan from the South of France: an ombré waterfall dress with a Grecian-style breastplate from Peter Dundas’ bohemian dream of a Spring/Summer 2015 collection for Pucci. (I’m still thankful I was doing an insomnia-fueled deep dive one night, as pieces from his tenure are rare to come across on resale.) Other pat-on-the-back moments include finding an emerald green-and-silver Chanel mini dress that Sienna Miller wore to host a dinner for the label at the Chateau Marmont in 2004; a runway look from Frida Giannini’s Fall/Winter 2009 offering for Gucci; a version of a stunning Matthew Williamson halter-neck gown worn by Blair Waldorf on an episode of Gossip Girl in 2010; and a mint-condition camisole that was the opening look from Phoebe Philo’s Spring/Summer 2005 outing for Chloé.

Of course, knowing that you’re contributing to a circular economy is a nice virtuous addition to this enterprise. But I am more driven by the desire to prioritize quality pieces that will remain in my closet forever. Bonus: It feels like I’m cheating the system financially. That aforementioned Matthew Williamson dress cost an estimated $4,000 in 2010. My Vestiaire Collective bill came to $123.10, including shipping from England. The Chloé cami? $144.78, versus the $2k+ price tags hanging on the current season tops. God bless Poshmark for that one.

Beyond cost, in my pursuit of the clothes and accessories I once cared about so much, I feel like I’ve developed a layer of individuality to my personal style as an adult. By the looks of things, there’s a growing number of fashion-loving millennials shopping in the same nostalgia-fueled way. According to data provided by eBay, global searches for “2010s” are up by more than 30% year-over-year. What are they hunting for? Strap in for some whiplash-inducing time-traveling. A spokesperson for eBay says that Isabel Marant wedge sneakers have seen a staggering 430% increase in interest this year. Also re-emerging in a big way are Marc Jacobs-designed Louis Vuitton items (searches are up nearly 100%), Cavalli (up by 120%), Stella McCartney’s Falabella bag (up 135%), Hervé Léger bandage dresses (up 80%), Riccardo Tisci-era Givenchy (up 70%), Stuart Weitzman Highland boots (up 45%), Philo-era Céline Luggage tote (up 40%), and, gulp, American Apparel disco pants, which have seen a 30% rise in searches.

Ready to find the one that — you thought — got away? Don’t be afraid to set up multiple saved search terms on the pre-loved and consignment platforms you use. Get specific, but also use broad keywords, as some sellers may not know what they are offloading is niche or from a certain designer’s tenure. For those who like to cast a wide net, Gem, a marketplace that pools results from a wide array of sites in one convenient feed, should be on your radar. It often pays off to wait it out, too. On sites like Poshmark and eBay, if you “heart” an item, the vendor will typically send you a discount or incentive to purchase, such as free shipping or a percentage off. Meanwhile, on The RealReal, product starts to get marked down within a couple of weeks, if you’re willing to play the long game.

If you know when new drops take place, it’s smart to set up an alert or be vigilant with the “new in” section. On TheRealReal, product drops every day, at 10 A.M. EST and 7 P.M. EST. I check out their app more than Instagram or TikTok most mornings and evenings.

“There are thousands of pieces uploaded twice a day,” confirms Noelle Sciacca, The RealReal’s associate director of fashion and strategic partnerships. “The rate at which things sell depends on how covetable it is right now. We’ve been seeing all of these creative director changes, so anytime something like that happens, pieces become collector’s items.”

According to Sciacca, the platform also has a curated section personalized to shoppers. “It creates an edit based on learned behavior: what you’re ‘obsessing’ [editor note: favoriting] and what kind of brands and pieces you’re shopping for,” she says. The resale site also boasts a “Rare Finds” tab: “That could be everything from a special runway piece from a moment in time that is iconic or nostalgic, or something that a celebrity once wore. I was recently looking, and there’s a Moschino bag that Fran Drescher wore on The Nanny.”

For those on the pursuit of happiness in the form of a status symbol of yore, Sciacca says that beyond setting up your saved searches, always be sure to go on the waitlist for similar pieces that have sold in case they are reconsigned by the algorithm or purchaser. Take her unwavering commitment to finding Miu Miu’s glitter boots from 2011 or old Céline two-tone Madame boots, for example. “They have such a hold on me,” she admits.

Forget healing your inner child. These days, it seems as if we’re all getting our retail therapy in the form of dressing our inner teenager.

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If you count a clandestine religious ceremony done on a whim in the middle of lockdown, then I’ve been married for five years. Such was our story (which featured a Romeo and Juliet-adjacent plot of angry families, forbidden love, and different religions) that we never had time for traditions. We didn’t give each other rings, and there was certainly no proposal. But I’m just a girl, and I want one, which means my kind-of-husband, Jack, is under strict instructions to propose properly one day, which we will then follow with a more public legal ceremony. I also want him to get me the perfect ring (a salt and pepper diamond, set in gold and preferably made by We Are Arrow on London’s eclectic Columbia Road), and he needs to make sure I’ve had a manicure beforehand. I don’t care how he does it, but I won’t be happy if he proposes to me and my nails aren’t freshly done. I wouldn’t say no — I do love him, after all — but I’ll be damned if a crusty cuticle dares feature in my engagement announcement photos.

Why do we care so much about engagement nails?

I see both the ring and the nails as a duo. When it comes to the actual engagement day, in my opinion, you can’t have one without the other. I know it sounds a little shallow, but as it happens, I’m not alone in my thoughts. In today’s social media-driven world, engagement nails are just as significant as the ring — and for some, even the proposal itself. Search “engagement nails” on TikTok and you’ll find over 60 posts — ranging from inspo videos to clips of people attempting to trick their soon-to-be-engaged friends into getting a manicure — with millions of combined views. Here, engagement nails are immortalized, paraded online for all to see. With this in mind, they need to be perfect: fresh, understated, timeless — and immune to fleeting trend cycles.

I’ve slowly been drip-feeding the idea of a surprise, pre-engagement manicure to Jack for years. “But it’ll ruin the moment!” he insists. “You’ll know what’s happening!” He’s not wrong — I might. But I’m so sure of my plan and plight that I’m willing to run the risk. I’ve drawn up an entire scheme for him to follow, which involves contacting my favorite nail artist and paying her in advance, then asking her to invite me to a “complimentary appointment”. This magical appointment will then only feature specific, engagement-worthy shades. I suppose prescribing a process does somewhat take the romance out of the situation. But what can I say? It’s important to me, and I’m not leaving anything up to chance.

For some, this chance is exactly what made their own engagement manicure stories so special. It wasn’t about the nails, per se, but the thought that went into them: “Chris did a very good job of tricking me into getting a manicure,” says Ellen Scott, a journalist and digital editor at Stylist. “He was very sneaky and wise. He contacted Shoreditch Nails and asked them to pretend to invite me for a press appointment. I didn’t question it at all.” They even painted a heart on Ellen’s ring finger, she tells me, which still didn’t tip her off. “I was completely taken aback when he proposed and was genuinely so touched that he had thought to make sure my nails looked good.” If it wasn’t for Chris’s caring ingenuity, Ellen tells me she “probably wouldn’t have posted a pic” of the engagement ring right away.

Similarly, an informal Instagram poll among my friends and followers revealed that many wouldn’t post an in-the-moment picture of their engagement ring unless their nails were freshly done. For Hollie Kelly, head of PR at Kit Studios, receiving a proposal without a manicure would make her “hold off on telling anyone” about the engagement. Or, she says, she’d hide her nails in pictures. Hannah*, a marketing manager, says she would “have to have them done in a long, almond shape to lengthen the overall appearance of the fingers and nail bed.” Without this, she admits, she’d redo her nails before posting. “In an extreme situation, I’d [use] Photoshop,” she says.

I don’t Photoshop pictures often, but when I do, it’s almost always because I feel like I need to conform to a certain beauty standard. Having perfect nails is yet another ideal — or rather, expectation — imposed on women in recent years. It’s also worth considering the effects of “nail privilege” when it comes to posting your hands online. An extension of “pretty privilege”, which affords those who are conventionally pretty better social and economic advantages, nail privilege sees people judged and treated differently according to their nail choices.

Because of this, Ri* says she “always thinks about” her future engagement nails: “I feel like I should start getting my nails done regularly now, ready for when Josh pops the question. It’s genuinely been a thought in my mind.” Meanwhile, Savannah* says she feels “very self-conscious” about her hands and future engagement posts on social media. “My ADHD makes me always pick at my nails, so I’ve never had them done. Yet, even though I’m not a nail person, I still worry my hands won’t be up to the beauty standard, which is mad to think about.”

During my research, I heard from lots of other women who’d be “annoyed,” “fuming,” or “not pleased” if they encountered a proposal sans manicure, but one woman, Harriet*, confesses she’d find it “traumatic”. For her, it isn’t about the images on social media or even adhering to a standard. It’s about looking put-together as a whole. Harriet admits to always having freshly painted nails, but even so, she’s told her partner “not to propose” if her nails look unkempt. According to her, “it’s better to have no nail polish at all,” than to have chipped nails.

Are engagement nails more important than the ring?

It might sound extreme to ask someone not to propose without a pre-proposal manicure, but it’s not unheard of. Rebecca Crawforth, nail expert and founder of Navy Professional Tools, confirms that “engagement nails have become just as essential as the ring itself.” For me, it’s less binary than that; my nails are a part of my identity. I haven’t sported bare nails in years, and people have told me that they think of fun nails whenever my name is brought up in conversation. Personally, if Jack made sure I had nice nails in advance of proposing, it would show me that he really knows me. Still, I wonder whether placing that kind of expectation on a partner borders on unnecessary pressure, even if it comes from a place of wanting to feel understood. I certainly wouldn’t say no to a heartfelt proposal due to the state of my fingertips.

On the contrary, for Ella*, an influencer with over 22K followers on Instagram, it would be an instant “no” to any proposal if her nails weren’t done beforehand — no matter the ring or the person. “If he proposes to me without my nails being done, then he isn’t the one for me. Sorry, not sorry! Like, I’m a nail girl — know your audience, boo! Buh-bye!” It’s not even about the pictures, she says, but about feeling her best in the moment: “My nails are such a big part of my identity,” she adds. “I’ve had acrylics for over 10 years!”

Does planning your engagement nails ruin the moment?

It turns out not everyone buys into the idea of engagement nails. Adele*, an NHS worker in her 20s, says we are “an ungrateful generation” and “engagement nails are stupid as a concept”. She was the only one who shared a different perspective — everyone else agreed that perfect engagement nails were a must. “I do understand people wanting to look nice and not posting chewed nails, but half the [people] on TikTok know they’re getting engaged because of them,” she says.

But just as Scott remained oblivious in her story above, this doesn’t mean your engagement nails have to spoil the surprise of the actual engagement.

What are the biggest engagement nail trends?

Scroll through TikTok or Instagram, and it’s hard to miss how similar all the engagement nails look: unbearably clean and perfect. There are no cuticles, little to no colour, and only the smallest spatterings of nail art, like “delicate lines or micro pearls,” according to Crawforth. “We’re seeing a real return to understated elegance, and the ‘clean girl’ aesthetic is still going strong,” she explains. “Think sheer pinks, milky whites and classic nude tones that enhance the natural nail.”

As a diehard nail art fan who can only bear a plain set for approximately two days before getting bored, this feels like another subtle beauty expectation. It gives off a bit of a “trad wife” vibe — as if we’re meant to look effortlessly polished, but not like we’ve put in any effort.

Traditionally, writes Refinery29’s beauty director Jacqueline Kilikita, in the late 19th century, painted nails were a feminist and risqué style statement, with later cultural icons like Frida Kahlo and Josephine Baker adopting bold nails. Returning to understated, barely-there designs can feel like a step away from that spirit, though I do understand coveting a design that won’t go out of style. Rachael Gibson, known online as The Hair Historian, previously told me that people are caught up in the idea that “natural beauty is best” because it suggests a “pure” and “superior” idea of femininity — it’s untouched and as nature made you, as if you haven’t fallen prey to vanity.

Saying this, there’s no denying the allure of a clean, perfect-looking set of nails, as long as you’re choosing them because you love them, and not because you feel like you have to. While they remain the status quo among engagement posts online, some are remaining resolute in their nail preferences. Scott opted for nail art on her engagement nails, with mismatched pink drawings on each finger. Perhaps the tides are turning. I’ve spotted a tentative wave of more experimental engagement nails recently. Think bold chrome finishes, darker shades, or nail art that reflects the wearer’s personality. Just as the engagement ring market is evolving to include less traditional-looking designs, mixed metals, lab-grown diamonds, and the like, I think we’re about to see a shift in engagement nail designs, too.

As much as I sit here and criticize the clean nail aesthetic, when it comes to my future engagement nails, I’ll probably opt for a similar look via The Gel Bottle’s new, fairy-like, sheer BIAB gels. Will it be because I truly love them, or because I’m just human and influenced by beauty trends? This is TBD. But one thing’s for sure: a good engagement manicure, whatever the shade or shape, is the ultimate flex.

*Name has been changed.

This story was originally published on Refinery29 UK.

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