Ever wondered what Euphoria’s Hunter Schafer smells like? Consider the mystery solved. As the new ambassador for Angel Stellar — the latest addition to Mugler’s growing fragrance dynasty — her aura is vibrant (thanks to bergamot), complex (that’ll be the pistachio), and bold (courtesy of heady patchouli). Not entirely unlike her iconic character, Jules Vaughn.
Of course, it’s Schafer herself who logs onto our Zoom call, and besides being the best-dressed celebrity I’ve ever interviewed (think hooded halter top and plenty of sparkle), she’s also probably the most enthusiastic about perfume. As a self-confessed fraghead, I loved diving deeper into what fragrance means to Schafer — and we also talked tired beauty standards, injectables, and Euphoria’s unmatched impact on makeup trends.
Read on for her thoughts on scent, self-expression, and shaking up norms.
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Huge congrats on your new role with Mugler! If you could make any smell into a perfume, what would it be and why?
A candy is always fun — the child part of me wants that! I would say like a gummy bear — I’m a big sucker for gummy bears. Also, my favorite nut is pistachio, which is a huge note in the new Mugler Angel Stellar. The fun thing about fragrance is that it’s all about feeling; orienting and elevating yourself in the way that you want to feel — it’s nostalgic. I do think there’s a lot of poetry that lies in using material resources to create a feeling. What I’m always going for is a radiant femininity or a soft power. This definitely lives in Mugler Angel Stellar.
What’s your magic number of sprays for that signature soft power?
I never want to overdo it, but a nice distribution is always what I go for. I love doing the wrists because I love the glamor of [pressing them together] and then under the neck. Sometimes, if I’m feeling extra fun, I’ll do a spray in my hair. I like to concentrate [on] those more powerful areas. Everyone has their way of applying it. I have this vision in my head sometimes of walking past someone I want to make an impression on, and my hair leaves a little waft of a fragrance.
Do you ever use perfume to spark joy or shift your energy?
Sometimes I equate it to what I aim to do with fashion or the clothes I’m wearing. A good analogy is how you feel when you put on a pair of high heels, and it changes the way you walk. I think fragrance has a lot of those same sort of superpowers. Whether you want to lean into something that’s more sultry and sexy or something more sophisticated and daytime [appropriate], the fun thing about fragrance is that it’s emotional and ultimately rooted in feeling, so that can really help boost [my] mood.
Is there a smell or a fragrance that’s forever tied to a memory?
I always think of my mom’s perfume and how sweet it was when I was younger. I get little flashbacks of childhood. The sweetness in Mugler Angel Stellar is grounded in more powdery and creamy pistachio, as well as punchy moments with the bergamot and wood. It’s fun because you can find those accents, like a sweet fragrance you remember from childhood, in something new and exciting.
Is perfume part of your process when stepping into an acting role?
You know, I’ve heard some actors use fragrance to help them get into character. It’s not something I’ve tried personally for work, but when it helps evoke a feeling or stepping into some kind of power, there’s something about fragrance that helps us play characters in our day-to-day lives. [It’s about] being able to jump between more powerful or soft versions of ourselves.
Now for some makeup.I noticed thatEuphoria season two marked a sharp shift in hair and makeup, from dreamy whimsy to graphic edges. What inspired the change, and how did it reflect your character’s evolution?
That’s the fun part of makeup, and the show’s approach elevates the more surreal factors. We always talk about playing with a level of emotional reality on the show, and in some ways, season two was a lot more dark and raw — although the show overall is relatively dark and raw! But at least for my character, it reflected her headspace. [We thought] about subtle ways to be able to tell that story without saying it in words or actions. Makeup is always an exciting opportunity for storytelling.
Which makeup tricks from the show’s MUAs, Donni Davy or Alexandra French, have made it into your routine?
I definitely learned a lot about glitter! That’s something that I have a lot of fun with. Everyone knows we love to do that on Euphoria. It’s interesting because it evolves every season, and I’m always learning new things about makeup in the makeup trailer. The first season was more playful and more illustrious. There was a certain sensibility. Season two was darker and more geometric. [Season three] is really interesting — we’re filming it right now and fleshing out this new space for Jules.
Do you ever do your own makeup for scenes?
In the first season, I was really hands-on. One of my favorite looks is the clouds that Jules has around her eyes. That was something me and Donni [Davy] came up with together, and I helped draw out the clouds. These days, I like to be a little more hands-off just because the character has [evolved]. She’s not quite the same parallel that I really felt in the first season. Jules was one step away from who I was. Now she’s a few more steps away from me, so I let [the makeup artists] take the reins more often.
Which outdated beauty rule do you think it’s time to retire for good?
Beauty is such a fun space because at its core, it’s about exploring and feeling good about yourself, but I do think maybe these days, there can be an overemphasis on perfection. Anyone who participates in beauty can recognize that to some degree. I hope that’s something we can keep an eye on as a culture. Obviously, we love to go for “perfect” looks sometimes, but I think perfection can also be sort of restraining as an idea, and potentially boring! There’s so much beauty in imperfection and awkwardness. Those are things to embrace, just as much as ideals or perfectionism.
For me, it’s the whole anti-aging narrative — it’s tired…
Some of my favorite style icons are people who are quite a few years older than me. I love looking to people who have been around much longer than me for inspiration. We should be excited about getting older. As far as I can tell, I’m liking life more as I grow older. We should embrace aging.
Do you think experience comes with age? I used to get Botox, but now I’m over it.
Yeah! It’s really interesting because it’s like okay, we start this anti-aging beauty journey — I am a fan of some things, I’m not saying [they’re bad] — but it is something to be mindful of because at what point do you stop and start to embrace signs of aging or whatnot?
Watching Aimee Lou Wood in The White Lotus, I found her real, unfiltered facial reactions so refreshing!
At least while I’m an actress, I want my face muscles to work, so that’s something I want to avoid at least for the time being. Everyone has their own approach to it, but it’s important to be able to emote. There’s so much beauty in that, and it’s something I don’t want to lose in the sort of beauty race for not aging.
This interview was originally published on Refinery29 UK.
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Breakouts can be common — and frustrating — during the summer. The combination of heat, sweat, and pollution can wreak havoc on our skin, especially on parts of our bodies that are more exposed to the elements. That’s why Paula’s Choice Weightless Body Treatment 2% BHA, $32, has become my go-to recently, helping to keep my skin smooth and clear for the warmer days ahead.
For those yet to discover Paula’s Choice, the brand has long been the gold standard for treating breakouts on the face using gentle but effective exfoliating acids. Its 2% BHA Exfoliating Toner, which enlists salicylic acid, has garnered acclaim from beauty editors and dermatologists alike. When I found out that the brand also offers an exfoliating body lotion with salicylic acid, I couldn’t resist giving it a go.
What is salicylic acid and what are the skin benefits?
Salicylic acid is a BHA or beta hydroxy acid that gently dissolves the compacted mix of dead skin and oil, which leads to clogged pores and eventually breakouts. Besides exfoliating salicylic acid, this lotion boasts a handful of soothing, moisturizing ingredients like vitamin E and chamomile flower extract, too. With festival season in full swing and summer adventures calling, I tested this lotion to see if it’d help keep body breakouts at bay — and I’m impressed.
Before diving into my review, I asked the experts to help me understand the science behind the key ingredients. According to aesthetic doctor Dr Mehri Pourkand, chemical exfoliants like salicylic acid are always preferable over a physical scrub for a few reasons: First, they tend to go much deeper into the pores, making them more effective. Second, unlike scrubs, they are less likely to cause micro-tears in the skin due to friction.
Salicylic acid is probably the most famous BHA out there, and for good reason: “BHAs are oil-soluble, which means they can dive right into your pores to clear out all the built-up sebum and dead skin,” Dr Pourkand explains. “Salicylic acid is especially great if you’re dealing with blackheads, breakouts, or congestion; it also helps smooth rough texture and refine the look of large pores over time.” If you deal with keratosis pilaris (also referred to as KP or “chicken skin” thanks to its bumpy texture), this lotion can help smooth these rough, red bumps with consistent use.
Salicylic acid does more than exfoliate and treat congested pores. “It also has calming, anti-inflammatory properties,” Dr Pourkand adds, “so it doesn’t just treat breakouts, it soothes them, too.”
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Unlike many of the exfoliating body products I’ve previously tried, which tend to be heavier in texture, Paula’s Choice’s version feels more similar to a lightweight lotion. But don’t underestimate it. While it absorbs in seconds, allowing you to pull on clothes quickly and easily, it’s substantially moisturizing thanks to nourishing vitamin E, as well as allantoin and the emollient dimethiconol. I will say that the formula carries a natural, slightly yeasty fragrance, but it disappears within a few seconds.
This lotion is excellent at evening out skin tone and smoothing bumpy skin texture. Before using this, I had hyperpigmentation on my legs as a result of mosquito bites, and it started to fade after two weeks of consistent use. My previously rough knees and elbows felt a lot softer, too. My skin gets easily irritated during periods of frequent travelling, and I often get back acne after taking a long-haul flight, but this lotion quickly calmed any spots that started appearing on my back, even after a 16-hour journey to Asia.
One glance at the product’s glowing review section proves that I’m not the only one who is impressed. One reviewer says that this product single-handedly cleared up the back acne they had had for four years: “I’ve tried many products, including prescription antibiotic cream, but this lotion was the only one that worked,” they wrote, adding, “I use it every morning after showering and now have completely clear skin on my back.”
Whenever I had tried body care products that contain active ingredients like exfoliating acids, my skin has suffered from purging — redness, itchiness and irritation. I’m very happy to report that this lotion, which contains an effective 2% salicylic acid, didn’t cause any reaction. I asked Dr Emma Cunningham, aesthetic doctor and founder of Dr Emma Clinics, to shine more light on why that might be the case: “Green tea and chamomile are both packed with antioxidants and have calming, skin-soothing properties,” she told me. “While the salicylic acid is doing the heavy lifting on the exfoliation side, these ingredients help reduce redness and keep everything balanced.”
For people new to acids or those with sensitive skin, Dr Cunningham recommends using the lotion two or three times a week and observing how your skin responds. The lotion can be used in the morning or the evening, but if you’re using it in the daytime, applying a high-factor, broad-spectrum sunscreen to exposed areas of your body before venturing into the sun is always a good idea, since exfoliating acids can make skin more sensitive to the sun.
Paula’s Choice Weightless Body Treatment 2% BHA has earned a permanent spot in my summer travel bag after doing a great job at keeping my back spots at bay. I also noticed improved overall smoothness on my arms and legs. Given its speed at clearing my body acne, I feel much more confident about wearing my tank tops and backless dresses this summer. The weightless consistency made it a joy to use when travelling around. Trust me: this is a must-have for anyone looking to target body breakouts, all without the irritation.
Shop our favorite Paula’s Choice products
This story was originally published on Refinery29 UK.
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On the evening of Saturday, May 17, Puerto Rican-owned Buddies Coffee in Williamsburg, Brooklyn closed its doors for good. The closure came three months after co-owner Rachel Nieves posted a TikTok revealing that her landlord planned to raise rent and open another cafe next door. The post generated an outpouring of support; soon, Buddies had lines out the door, an endorsement from Joe Jonas, and an appearance from Nieves on the Jennifer Hudson Show. Yet it wasn’t enough to save this small business from the perils of gentrification.
Buddies’ story echoes the struggles faced by Latine-owned businesses all over New York City. “We as Latines are facing serious challenges today, many of them created by those in power,” Giovanni Gonzalez, founder of the Latine empowerment nonprofit La Gesta, tells Refinery29 Somos. “They want to hurt our pride and downplay our presence because our light is inevitable and undeniable.”
Gonzalez works closely with Toñita’s, also known as the Caribbean Social Club, the last remaining social club in the historically Puerto Rican neighborhood of Los Sures, South Williamsburg. In 1974, María Antonia Cay — better known as Toñita — opened the space as a refuge for recently-arrived Puerto Ricans. Since then, it’s become an institution among Latines of all backgrounds and remains a homebase for mutual aid efforts, with Toñita cooking for the unhoused population in Los Sures once a week. But as the neighborhood’s demographics change, it’s become increasingly difficult to stay afloat — even as the club counts Bad Bunny among its regulars.
“They want to hurt our pride and downplay our presence because our light is inevitable and undeniable.”
Giovanni Gonzalez
“If our businesses were in a fully Latine community, we would not be struggling,” Kalima DeSuze, MSW, the owner and founder of Cafe Con Libros in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, tells Somos.“Because of the ways our communities are shifting and changing, you could be in a community and somebody could open up the same exact business, right next door. You could be doing the same thing that they’re doing, but their business, depending on their race and ethnicity, automatically gets more credibility.”
According to a May 2024 report from the New York City Economic Development Corporation, new businesses are opening in North Brooklyn faster than any other area of the five boroughs. Toñita has called North Brooklyn home for 51 years. She’s been offered $9 million to give up her Caribbean Social Club, and despite costs reaching an all-time high, Gonzalez says she’s standing her ground.
“It may look like her business is at risk, it being the last social club remaining in a gentrified Williamsburg,” he says. “[Toñita] brushes this off like lint on her shoulder, as if the weight of history she carries makes her immune to pressure. This isn’t just a bar — it’s a living altar of resilience, culture, and community. No amount of money or intimidation can compete with that kind of purpose.”
Gentrification has required Latine businesses to become more active on social media, the predominant business discovery platform for New York City transplants. Marketing-savvy Latines have found creative ways to service the businesses they see as vital to their communities. Paulina Montiel is the co-founder of Migo Events, a New York City-based organization that hosted the city’s first-ever Mexican Restaurant Week in 2024, which provided social media-driven promotion to Mexican restaurants across the boroughs. “When we partner with local businesses, we try to teach them [about] social media,” she tells Somos. “I’ll go to cafes like Xoco-latte Bushwick, and I always tag them and tell people about them. Even if it means one person comes, two people come, they usually come back.”
“Because of the ways our communities are shifting and changing, you could be in a community and somebody could open up the same exact business, right next door. You could be doing the same thing that they’re doing, but their business, depending on their race and ethnicity, automatically gets more credibility.”
Kalima DeSuze
DeSuze notes that when people of marginalized identities open a business, they’re expected to go above and beyond in ways their white, non-Latine counterparts are not. “I can’t just be a bookstore,” she says. “I have to be fighting to close the income gap, I need to try to close the reading gap, I need to make sure that people learn how to speak English and know their rights. … What then happens for businesses of color is that we take on the responsibility of the world, and then we end up getting burnt out.”
Toñita’s and Cafe Con Libros demonstrate the magic that can happen when a Latine business defies those expectations. Instead of attempting to solve every problem faced by Latines, Toñita and DeSuze focus on the professions they know and love. This allows them to create more genuine connections with regulars and new visitors alike. “Spaces like these are what true community growth is all about, especially in cities where money and selfishness rule,” says Gonzalez. “Businesses like Toñita’s are worth preserving and fighting for because they remind us what it means to be human.”
It can be easy for Latine businesses to fall into the trap of trendy, Instagram-friendly renovations, especially in the cutthroat New York City market. It might attract new customers in the short term, but Montiel sees value in maintaining a business’s original structure and design, whether it’s photos of la patria on the walls or those plastic tablecloths. “That’s what makes us feel like we’re back at home,” she says.
“Investing in us is going to have the same outcome as investing in other cultures.”
Paulina Montiel
Spending money at these businesses is great, but it’s not the only way to support. “Even if someone leaves us a Google review, do you know how big that is? That’s huge for us, huge for any business,” DeSuze says. She also recommends spreading the word about events hosted at your favorite spots, like the second annual Toñita Fest on Sunday, June 22. Gonzalez calls the block party-style event “an annual celebration meant to keep spreading the word, and help a small club in the heart of Williamsburg become bigger than life.” He’s currently raising money to cover its packed itinerary of cultural programming.
Montiel says Migo Events will continue to show up for New York City’s Latine businesses through its upcoming lineup of events. “That’s the goal, I think, of preserving these businesses: being yourself, pushing yourself into white spaces or spaces that other cultures have broken into, and showing that we have the same capabilities,” she explains. “Investing in us is going to have the same outcome as investing in other cultures.”
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Warning: The following article contains descriptions of sexual assault that some readers may find distressing.
“My full intuition was ringing,” says Jade*, 33, recounting a traumatic sexual assault she experienced while living in Dublin, Ireland, aged 21. “I was leaving work, and normally I’d never feel unsafe but for whatever reason, when I came out of the store, I was on edge.” Jade called her then-boyfriend, and they spoke as she walked home. Just a few minutes into her journey, a man assaulted her. “A man came behind me and grabbed me around the neck and, oh my god, grabbed me there. I screamed really loudly…Then the man ran. I didn’t see his face or anything.” Jade went to the police immediately. Despite CCTV evidence, he wasn’t caught. A year later, a news article outlined the same circumstances with a man attacking a woman in the area, leading Jade to believe this same man was still out there.
Since that incident, Jade has never ignored her gut instinct. “I’m probably overly cautious, but you never can be too careful,” she adds. “It’s a learned reaction.” Women all over the world will relate to Jade’s story and for many, intuition is part of the toolkit they rely on every day to stay safe. 1 in 4 women women have been raped or assaulted in England and Wales. In America, it’s estimated to be 1 in 5. A recent study published by Epowar, a women’s safety organisation, shows that 47% of women in the UK spend money on services and products to keep them safe. For example, that study also found that £420 ($568) is spent by the average woman on taxis (rather than taking public transport or walking), and other money and time go to therapy, self defence classes and rape alarms. Women invest in all of these things for good reason, but often when they recount occasions that they “had a bad feeling”, they are called into question. “Are you sure he wasn’t just walking by? How do you know you weren’t being paranoid?” people ask, making women doubt themselves.
Having spoken on BBC London radio numerous times about women’s safety in the city, I’m always asked about instinct. What does it feel like? How do I know when to listen to it? Why don’t some men understand? The first time I was asked this, it struck me as odd: Don’t we all have an innate sensor that kicks in when something feels off? But men typically don’t have the same thought processes or experiences that keep women hypervigilant, I realized. This might be why some of them don’t take the idea of a “bad feeling” seriously — and why I repeatedly need to explain instinct on the radio.
Karen Whybro, a women’s safety consultant, focuses her work on perceptions of safety and how women feel in their communities. Whybro, whose name feels like a clear example of nominative determinism, says, “Because men don’t have those experiences, they don’t have those same instincts that we do as women”. She adds: “I have to teach men that this is how women feel [because] they genuinely don’t know. They don’t live the same lives as us. They don’t get this constant safety advice.” This isn’t to pit men against women, but the fact is that of crimes against women, the majority are committed by men. One dataset found the figure to be 94.4%. “Women are in tune with their gut instincts because we are taught from a very young age that there is this looming danger outside,” Whybro explains. “We don’t get explicitly told it’s men that we need to be scared of or that it’s male violence, but we learn this.”
One of Whybro’s main concerns is the marginalisation women experience when they avoid things to make themselves feel safer, even though the responsibility should lie with perpetrators. She says, “The easy thing most of the time is just opting out of being in those spaces.”
While that doesn’t seem fair, we should listen to our gut instinct because it’s not just some out-of-the-blue feeling. Smriti Joshi, a psychologist for Wysa, says that gut instinct is your brain’s way of processing information quickly and subconsciously and it’s something early humans evolved for protection and survival. “Long before we had the ability to rationalize or weigh up pros and cons, our ancestors relied on fast, instinctive responses to threats,” Joshi says. “Today, we still benefit from that wiring. Gut instinct helps us respond quickly when something feels off, even if we can’t immediately explain why.”
While intuition is a universal, evolutionary trait, how and when it shows up is different for everybody. “It’s shaped by a combination of biological wiring and life experience,” Joshi explains. “We often think of it as a feeling that comes from nowhere, but in reality, it’s your nervous system picking up on subtle cues — changes in facial expression, tone of voice, body language — and matching them to patterns stored from past experiences. Over time, your brain creates shortcuts based on what has felt safe or unsafe in the past. That’s why gut instinct feels so personal: it’s not just general intuition, it’s your intuition, shaped by your own story.”
This personal nature of instincts is complex, and partly why they often aren’t trusted. It’s not possible to perfect the art of bad feelings. “They’re not always accurate because it’s based on previous experience,” Joshi says. “It can sometimes be distorted — especially if past trauma, anxiety, or unconscious bias is in the mix. It’s also possible for gut instinct to misfire when we’re overly stressed or tired.”
A lot of the time, women are also navigating and contending with a culture that has taught them to be compliant. Both Whybro and Joshi agree that because women are regularly undermined or told their safety concerns are exaggerated, they override their instinct in order to seem polite and agreeable. This can mean they never learn to acknowledge, trust and respond to their intuition. “Rebuilding trust in your own instinct is important — it’s an act of self-respect and safety,” Joshi says, “but it’s also helpful to understand where that instinct is coming from. Ask yourself: is this feeling rooted in fear, in pattern recognition, or something else?” Even if that reflection comes later, Joshi says it can help us finetune our gut feelings.
Yatna Ladwa, 38, who works in healthcare and lives in London, always takes note when her usual instinct of being friendly doesn’t kick in — it’s a sign something is unsettling her, even if she can’t put her finger on why. “I’m a friendly person who will say ‘hi’ if you say ‘hi’,” she says. But when she repeatedly spotted a man staring at her in the gym, her instinct told her to avoid him. “One day I was getting off the train and I spotted him standing at the exit. I kept my gaze down and walked faster. Then I heard someone shouting behind me and it was him. I walked faster to my car — my gut told me to keep walking.” She drove away on edge and fearful, but the interaction left her creeped out and wary of seeing him again at the gym.
Gut instinct isn’t hard evidence of a crime, but that doesn’t mean concerns shouldn’t be reported. Maggie Blyth, temporary chief constable and national policing lead for violence against women and girls in Britain, tells R29, “Gut instinct is a powerful thing and we often hear of women who felt a sense of danger or unease in situations when they were right to listen to their gut and get help.” She urges women to report something “that doesn’t feel quite right” so the police can check it out for themselves. “It’s never wasting police time,” Blyth says, though she acknowledges that trust and confidence need to be rebuilt between civilians and police. “We have been working hard to improve our response to sexual exposure and other non-contact sexual offences,” she says, which includes a new training module focused on non-contact sexual offences (such as sexual harassment, indecent exposure, and unsolicited sexual images). There has been an increase in arrests for these types of crimes, she adds.
So when somebody tells you that your instincts are unfounded or exaggerated, remember that while your gut feelings might not be spot on, they likely have been triggered by something — and that’s worth listening to.
*Name has been changed to protect identities.
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If a brand is lucky, it will launch a product that manages to go viral and make the company a household name. Tatcha, a rare exception, has had nearly too many to count. From The Water Cream to The Silk Canvas to The Kissu Lip Mask, the brand has established itself as a modern-day luxury brand with decadent, effective products to back up the hype. And while we don’t want to jinx anything, something tells us that Tatcha’s latest launch will be another notch in its belt of bestsellers.
Meet The Dewy Milk Moisturizer — Tatcha’s newest hydrator and our current summer beauty obsession. Joining Tatcha’s Dewy collection of products (which includes The Dewy Skin Cream, The Dewy Serum, and Luminous Dewy Skin Mist), Dewy Milk Moisturizer is a lightweight hydrator that turns up the glow, not grease, in your skin. (Call it the Skipper to Dewy Skin Cream’s Barbie.)
As the name suggests, Dewy Milk has a fluid-like texture that quenches skin but absorbs readily. “We heard from so many people in our community — including my clients — that while the original Dewy Skin Cream is a favorite, it can feel a bit rich for some skin types,” celebrity makeup artist and Tatcha’s Global Director of Artistry, Daniel Martin, tells Refinery29. “The brand created Dewy Milk Moisturizer as a lighter option, giving you that signature glow in a more breathable, milky texture.” Milk has become somewhat of a beauty buzzword as of late, with products ranging from toners to lip gloss to cleansers drawing inspiration from the dairy product.
But don’t just take my word for it; Dewy Milk has become the talk of R29’s beauty editor Slack channel, with rave reviews pouring in: “Tatcha’s The Dewy Skin Cream was the only product I bought on my first-ever trip to New York — you couldn’t get the brand in the UK at the time — and I instantly fell in love with its cushiony texture and radiant finish,” says our London-based Beauty Director Jacqueline Kilikita. “But as someone prone to breakouts, it didn’t always agree with my skin on oilier days. It seems the Tatcha gods were listening, though, because the brand’s new Dewy Milk Moisturizer takes everything I loved about the original and transforms it into a lighter lotion that my skin drinks up in seconds, and doesn’t break me out or leave behind a film.”
I’m convinced my skin looks noticeably better since I started using it.
jacqueline kilikita
And if that’s not enough, even fans of the OG have had their heads turned by Dewy Milk. “I genuinely didn’t think anything could top the original, but the new Dewy Milk Moisturizer might just be my new go-to, especially for daytime, specifically during these warmer months,” shares Global Beauty Director Sara Tan. “It feels like a serum-meets-moisturizer: it’s impossibly lightweight, glides on like silk, and delivers serious hydration without ever feeling heavy.”
Thanks to ingredients like Japanese purple rice (which lends a natural, lilac hue to the stuff), green tea extract, and zinc hyaluronate (the salt derivative of hyaluronic acid, which combines the hydrating prowess of HA with anti-inflammatory benefits of zinc) to promote soft, supple skin that’s balanced and radiant. “There’s no pilling and no stickiness — just bouncy skin that’s perfectly prepped for sunscreen and makeup,” says Tan. If all that isn’t enough, Tatcha also enlisted a friend of the brand, Olympic gymnast (and R29 Powerhouse) Suni Lee to front this extra-special launch. “I’ve been a fan of Tatcha for a long time,” she exclusively tells R29. “I started using the Dewy Skin Cream during my training days because my skin would get super dry from long hours in the gym. [Dewy Milk Moisturizer] is so lightweight but also so nourishing, and that’s what really stands out to me. It’s like a glass of water for my face.” Hydrated, happy summer skin in a bottle? Sign us up.
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Just as Charli XCX predicted at the end of her Coachella 2025 set, we’ve entered “Addison Rae summer” — a not-too-far departure from 2024’s brat summer. And like Charli, the TikTok star turned pop sensation — who wants to go by her mononym after the June 6 release of her self-titled album Addison — has a fashion sense that’s just as distinctive as her music projects.
From itty-bitty denim shorts and round-toe pump heels to cropped graphic T-shirts and lingerie-as-outerwear outfits, Addison’s retro style is Britney Spears-coded with apparent influences from Lady Gaga, Lana Del Rey, Madonna, and Marylin Monroe — all of whom she names in her song “Money Is Everything.” The 24-year-old has a knack for Y2K-meets-Old-Hollywood dressing. And it’s inspiring our own summer outfits.
If your hot weather style involves laidback, mismatched (and somewhat chaotic) looks, we promise that you can achieve a look that’s more Addison Rae and less Adam Sandler. So if you’d “rather get high fashion” and “get a taste of the glamorous life,” read on for the top summer must-haves to channel the “Aquamarine” singer. (Spoiler: pearls are involved.) Then, all that’s left to do is crack open a Diet Pepsi and “put your headphones on.”
In true Y2K fashion, Addison is known for wearing low-rise jeans and mini shorts as everyday outfits and music video costumes. She specifically called out a pair of low-rise Lucky shorts as a staple in a recent GQ interview. On sweltering days, consider a pair of denim cutoffs (preferably with frayed edges) and on cooler days or summer nights, consider low-rise jeans in a flared or bootcut silhouette. Pair them with a graphic tee or bralette depending on the occasion and how scandalous you’re feeling.
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Addison Rae Style: Lingerie Sets
The singer also told GQ that beautiful lingerie is non-negotiable, especially worn under casual outfits to spark a sexy energy and confidence throughout the day. In addition to her sultry 2024 VMAs custom lingerie look, it’s also a staple in her music videos like “Diet Pepsi” (a cone bra and matching bedazzled ensemble), “Aquamarine” (under a sheer outfit), “Fame Is A Gun” (in pink latex), and “Times Like These” (paired with fishnet tights). For your own Addison-inspired lingerie, opt for matching sets with balconette bras, sheer bralettes, and corsets to wear under see-through tops and dresses, or on their own paired with your favorite denim for summer festivals and pool parties.
“Walk in the room, my high heels on, I strike a pose / Young, dumb, and cute, nothing to lose,” Addison sings on “In The Rain.” When she’s not barefoot, she’s wearing stiletto pumps (quite different to trending kitten heels, but reminiscent of Y2K pop star style). From performing onstage to running errands, she typically opts for Louboutins and round-toe heels. Look out for designs with retro details like peep-toe cut-outs and slingback straps, which are favored by the singer, and wear them everywhere from summer weddings to rooftop parties.
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Addison Rae Style: Graphic T-Shirts
Some of the looks that put Addison on the fashion map were her Y2K Paris Hilton-inspired street style ‘fits, all of which included kitschy graphic tees. From pointed phrases to faux sport jerseys, her T-shirts always make a statement — so much so that Troye Sivan recreated one of Addison’s paparazzi photos for Halloween, wearing a pink “Libra” cropped tee and black pumps, while reading Britney Spears’ memoir. Opt for playful graphics and cheeky phrases when shopping and putting together your casual, throw-on-and-go summer outfits.
Elevate your everyday and eveningwear looks with a strand of pearls to have “the heart of the ocean around your neck,” like Addison suggests in “Aquamarine.” Her mermaid-chic style reigns during the summer, whether through red carpet dresses, shell-shaped purses, glimmering jewel tones, or lustrous pearls. Luckily, you don’t have to pay a fortune to get the look. We’ve curated a range of simple pearl chokers, layered strands, and pendant necklaces to channel Addison.
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Addison Rae Style: Sheer Dresses
Sheer fabrics are a bold-yet-wearable summer dress trend that Addison does well — from donning see-through sequined gowns in the “Aquamarine” video, to wearing a fluttery tulle frock at Coachella that revealed her album release date on underwear that peeked through. The singer obviously loves skin-baring looks, declaring: “I know you like when I wear this dress, I feel best when I’m wearin’ less” on “Times Like These.” For your own wardrobe, try sheer lace, mesh, and sequined dresses worn over swimsuits, boy shorts, slip dresses, or even over pants for a Y2K touch. Then float on as the ethereal pop princess that you are.
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Another Latina stepped in it — again. This time it was Yulissa Escobar who, checks notes, made it through just two days of filming Love Island USA before getting booted from the villa. The Cuban American saw her dreams of small-screen fame come to an end on June 4 after TMZ and Reddit users shared two clips of her casually using the N-word on podcasts. And if Escobar would say that while being recorded, what is she saying off camera?
Since it all went down, she apologized. “I want to apologize for using a word I had no right in using,” she said in an Instagram post on June 6. “I used it ignorantly, not fully understanding the weight, history, or pain behind it. I wasn’t trying to be offensive or harmful, but I recognize now that intention doesn’t excuse impact. And the impact of that word is real. It’s tied to generations of trauma, and it is not mine to use.”
As the videos of Escobar so casually saying the N-word resurfaced, so did a now-deleted TikTok video where she talked about losing social media followers because of her support for President Donald Trump.
As funny TikTok skits of Love Island USA producers pulling Escobar out of her bed in the middle of the night go viral and as online commentators point to her Miami Cuban roots to minimize her anti-Blackness, it’s tempting to just throw Escobar away, to vote her off the proverbial Latinidad island, but actually we need to reckon with her. After all, 39% of Latinas voted for Trump, in tacit support of his vision of a U.S. optimized for white Anglo men at the expense of everyone else. And no, they weren’t all Miami Cubans.
“If you’re not Black, you shouldn’t say the N-word. It’s that simple.”
cristina escobar
Escobar is hardly the only non-Black Latina to drop the N-word. Generally scandal-free Jennifer Lopez got in trouble for doing it on her 2001 track “I’m Real (Murder Remix)” with Ja Rule. In 2019, Jane the Virgin (and now Will Trent) star Gina Rodriguez caught heat for recording herself using it. And in Latine neighborhoods across the country, the slur slips out of non-Black Latine mouths as commonly as “mija” or “nena.”
So what’s going on here? There appears to be some confusion about our place in the U.S.’ racial hierarchy. While Latinidad is an ethnic identity, not a racial one, and Latines come in every race, it’s true that the U.S. has attempted to racialize Latinidad in an effort to mark us, even the white Latines among us, as different than the Anglo, gringo, or White-with-a-capital-W people who see themselves as the “real” Americans.
But if you’re not Black, you shouldn’t say the N-word. It’s that simple. And while some Latines are Black, many are not — including Escobar, Lopez, and Rodriguez.
Their Latinidad doesn’t give them (or anyone) honorary Black status. Living in neighborhoods that are majority Black doesn’t give non-Black Latines Black status. Dating someone who is Black doesn’t give non-Black Latines Black status. Having Black relatives doesn’t give non-Black Latines Black status. Feeling a shared struggle with Black folks does not give non-Black Latines Black status.
“Oftentimes, those non-Black Latines who throw the N-word around casually, like it’s theirs to hurl, want to have it both ways. When it suits them, they’re ‘women of color’ who want street cred and access to Black communities. But when they see it as more advantageous to align with non-Latine white people, they switch.”
cristina escobar
Oftentimes, those non-Black Latines who throw the N-word around casually, like it’s theirs to hurl, want to have it both ways. When it suits them, they’re “women of color” who want street cred and access to Black communities. But when they see it as more advantageous to align with non-Latine white people, they switch. Think of Lopez playing an Italian woman in 2001’s The Wedding Planner — yes, the same year she released that version of “I’m Real.”
And as the last election cycle has shown, large portions of Latines are aligning themselves with whiteness, including those who are themselves racially white but also many who are not but hope their proximity to whiteness, their allegiance to whiteness, will guard them from the country’s racial war against “the other” — even white “others” with Spanish surnames. And when that happens, we get Trump in the White House, Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officers terrorizing our communities, and an authoritarian regime that is making Latin American dictators jealous.
And as more Latine Trump supporters around the country are realizing amid massive ICE raids, this white loyalty won’t save them — it never has and it never will.
As a group and as individuals, we need to have a better understanding of what it means to be a non-Black Latine. We need to have the conversations — about ethnicity versus race, about privilege, and about organizing for social justice.
There are plenty of people who think the whole concept of Latinidad is a sham, that either it reinforces white supremacy by marking us as different from Black and Indigenous folks or it hurts us by marking us (even the European-descended people among us) as not-white.
But too often we fail to leverage that power to advance our needs. Instead, more than a third of Latines lie to themselves and their communities about what their identity means in the United States today. We need to call them out and call them in. Yes, maybe Chicanas have a different frame than Cuban Americans. Maybe experiences in the Northeast look different from those in the Southwest. Maybe someone who looks like Escobar believes her pretty privilege will carry her through whatever mess her surname and ethnicity might get her into — and maybe, where she’s from, it has.
“We need to have a better understanding of what it means to be a non-Black Latine. We need to have the conversations — about ethnicity versus race, about privilege, and about organizing for social justice.”
CRISTINA ESCOBAR
But regardless of our individual circumstances, we need to get to work if we’re ever going to stop being “sleeping giants” and just be giants.
First, we need accountability. I’m glad Escobar got booted from Love IslandUSA, but white-led corporations are going to be doing less and less of that stuff as we descend further into Trump’s second term. So what can we do? Escobar has nearly 70,000 followers on her Instagram — if you’re one of them, consider unfollowing her and telling her why: that using the N-word is unacceptable and so is voting against the rights of the racially and ethnically marginalized. When folks online or in your personal life do racist things, don’t let it slide. Tell them it’s unacceptable around you and mean it.
Additionally, follow Black people online and support their work. If you want more examples of why Escobar’s path is so foolish, I recommend Franchesca Ramsey’s feed. Her “I never thought the leopards would eat my fact” bit is a hilariously evergreen diddy about how quickly those who claim proximity to whiteness will see that their allegiance does not protect them.
“We need to get to work if we’re ever going to stop being “sleeping giants” and just be giants.”
CRISTINA ESCOBAR
That brings me to being in actual alliance with Black communities, whether they’re also Latine or not. Stop begrudging their success — Black communities didn’t take anything from non-Black Latines — and, instead, support their artists, marches, and ballot measures without trying to take over or make them about you. Encourage your non-Black Latine friends and family members to do the same.
Finally, let’s learn from them. Black folks in the U.S. have been organizing for a more just society — that benefits all of us — for a long time. They’ve built a community consensus and institutions that we could emulate.
Let’s learn and see where we get. I bet it’ll be a lot better than watching one of ours implode on Love IslandUSA while ICE disappears people — non-citizens and citizens alike — on U.S. streets.
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The last days of spring will bring a cosmic shift we haven’t felt in almost two years. When Mars moves into Virgo from June 17th to August 6th, we will want to care for ourselves and others, use our power wisely, and find peaceful resolutions to matters. We are picking up the pieces from the end of the 2023 summer season — when Mars was last in Virgo — so pay attention to similar themes from that period that might come back to life.
Mars in Virgo is what astrologers call “peregrine,” meaning it is in no essential dignity or detriment. This means we can take control of our narrative by harnessing the current energy of Mars, the warrior planet. If we leverage Mars being in Virgo constructively, resolving conflicts and dealing with challenges with a practical demeanor, we can use this current energy to our advantage. Conversely, we can use Mars in Virgo to dominate and be critical — leading to drama. In an ideal world, we all opt for the first choice, but when people around us use their authority as an excuse to be cruel, we need to counteract it with the rational responses Mars in Virgo provides.
If and when we get angry during this period, we need to express that feeling in a smooth, balanced way, otherwise our frustrations could bottle up inside until we pop off. To avoid that, it’s essential to speak up in the moment rather than letting a feeling fester. Journaling emotions is a wonderful way to release pent up stresses and annoyances. Connecting with nature can also help us embrace a relaxed mindset. Self-care routines are essential at this time to detox our auras and bodies of negativity. Make time in the day for R&R — you’re worth the investment.
IKYK that Mars in Virgo is methodical, but did you know that it is the investigator who susses out information before making a decision and taking action? This can be extremely helpful because while Mars likes to argue, when it’s in Virgo it takes time to discover facts and deal with situations. That means rather than being rash and impulsive, we can take our time to be discerning and carefully choose our defense after we gather all the pieces of the puzzle.
Mars in Virgo takes the fair approach. It allows the people to vocalize their thoughts and for us to comprehend their motives. During this transit, we’ll want to hash things out and diffuse intense moments instead of watching them blow up. Coming to an understanding is vital, no matter how complex the situation is. A middle ground is easy to find, thanks to Virgo being a compassionate sign that makes reasonable assessments, so we tend to be a little softer in our approach.
Because Virgo is a pure earth sign, the correlation to Mars (planet of sex) can make hooking up rejuvenating, experimental and kinky. Mars in Virgo likes to spice it up between the sheets. Never holding back on what we deem pleasurable gives us the opportunity to be our true selves. Say goodbye to shame and allow pleasure to reign.
This year, Mars in Virgo is going to bring a mixed bag of energy. In the first few weeks, we will be feeling exuberant and full of life. With Jupiter and the sun connecting to Mars on June 22nd and 26th, it will give us a chance to heighten our areas; however, on July 20th Maurice connects with the South Node of Destiny, leaving us with low energy and high tempers. Hard conversations about the direction of relationships are coming our way that might not end well on July 2nd, when Mars squares Venus. Be calm and carry on.
Important Dates:
June 17th: Mars enters Virgo, urging us to take steps toward improving our lives.
June 22nd: Mars in Virgo harmonizes with Jupiter in Cancer, expanding our horizons and options.
June 26th: Mars in Virgo aspects the Sun in Cancer, giving us strength and vitality.
July 20th: Mars in Virgo aligns with the South Node of Destiny, reducing our energy and vigor.
July 23rd: Mars in Virgo squares Venus in Gemini, heightening our romantic sentiments and desires.
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Welcome toMoney Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.
Today: a counsellor who makes $130,000 per year and who spends some of her money this week on a blanket from The Bay.
If you’d like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we’re not able to reply to every email.
Editor’s Note: All amounts are displayed in Canadian dollars.
Occupation: Counsellor Industry: Education Age: 36 Location: British Columbia border town Salary: $118,000 base salary, plus approximately $12,000 in private practice. Assets: RRSP: $68,000; TFSA: $57,000; emergency fund: $10,000; short-term savings (sinking funds for Christmas presents, car maintenance and insurance, travel): $3,000. Debt: $0 Paycheck Amount (biweekly): $2,865.17 (base salary); approximately $ 1,000/month for private practice work. Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses Housing Costs: $1,930 (rent). Loan Payments: $0 Renter’s Insurance: $34.59 BCAA: $10.94 Netflix: $8.95 Cell Phone: $81.54 Life Insurance: $127.58 Disability Insurance: $138.51 Internet: $99.40 Spotify: $20.04 for a couple’s membership that I share with my ex (this is working out surprisingly well — we are friends, but it feels like we’ll share this membership forever, which I’m okay with). Donation: $50 (to a reproductive health clinic). Savings: $500 to retirement savings; $500 to tax-free savings account; $300 to emergency fund; and $450 to sinking saving funds ($100 to travel; $100 to car maintenance; $100 to car insurance; $100 to new car fund; and $50 to Christmas presents). Hydro: ~$80 (bimonthly; varies a little bit)
Annual Expenses
Professional Dues: $436 Costco: $130 Car Insurance: $1724
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? Yes, from my parents and myself. I did an International Baccalaureate program in high school and every one of my classmates went on to university. As a kid, I wanted to be an actress or a hairstylist but my mum told me that my dad would not allow it and wanted me to go to university. (I still contemplate being a hairstylist).
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances? My dad was a chartered accountant but we didn’t talk about money. I was generally a saver and would lend money to my mum, which continued into adulthood at different points. Both of my parents struggled with managing money effectively.
What was your first job and why did you get it? I worked as a grocery store cashier when I was 15 and enjoyed it a lot! I still remember some of the PLU codes for fruits and veggies.
Did you worry about money growing up? Yes, constantly. I worried about what would happen if my dad lost his job and whether there would be enough money for school. This never happened, but I worried constantly.
Do you worry about money now? Yes, I still worry a lot. I live in a high cost of living area and although I make a good income and save as much as I can, I still feel behind. I identify as queer and have a female partner, so I think about the cost of fertility treatments if I have biological children (and I am currently on a waitlist to freeze my eggs).
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? 22 (when I graduated from university). Currently, I do not think my parents would be able to provide much financial support if I found myself in a situation where this was needed — and I would not want to ask. In a worst case scenario, I would cash out savings or draw from a line of credit. This was a big motivation behind purchasing disability insurance in addition to what I have available through my work.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. Yes, I received substantial support from my parents while attending university for my bachelor’s degree (about $12,000 per year for four and a half years). This paid for half of my undergraduate degree. I paid the other half with various part-time jobs.
Day One: Wednesday
6:50 a.m. — I wake up to the sound of my beloved cat, L., meowing for breakfast. We (cough, me) recently started portioning out her food because the vet says she is overweight. She does not like this and has been demanding breakfast earlier each day. After feeding my queen, I lay in bed on my phone for about an hour before dragging myself out of bed. I put on my “Hold on, let me overthink this” shirt and a pair of black Zara jeans. Brush teeth quickly, wash face, deodorant and out the door.
9:30 a.m. — Arrive at a work meeting to discuss a challenging team situation from yesterday. A lot of people are still feeling it, including myself. I started a new job in December and I’ve been struggling with it. I’ve never made this much money before, but the work itself is slow and the emotional cost of the situation is getting higher.
12:30 p.m. — Leave the meeting site, which is conveniently near Costco. I go in with the immediate task of securing a hot dog ($1.56, thank you Costco for the affordable lunch). I walk around browsing and snapping up samples (most yummy is chocolate mini-eggs). I buy Japanese BBQ sauce that I’ve been looking for and a bag of Sour Patch bunnies, which will be a gift for someone, most likely my sister ($21.88). $23.44
1:30 p.m. — Arrive home for WFH afternoon. I set myself up outside on the patio and my chatty L. meows all of her feelings to the neighbours. I consider whether we need to find an animal communicator. We go inside for quiet time.
3:30 p.m. — My dad calls for a chat. He lives in a retirement home in another province and had to go into a care facility at a younger age (63) for significant physical health and mobility concerns. Cognitively, he is sharp as a tack and wants to talk politics, sprinkled with jokes about his day-to-day life at the retirement home. L. meows to say hi while I talk to him. After the call, we are back to emails.
5 p.m. — I shower off the day, and commence a Netflix marathon viewing of Temptation Island. Hello, reminder from my childhood glory days of reality TV. I think about how different it is now — no waiting a week for the next episode — and I think about how this impedes delayed gratification.
10 p.m. — I make a late-night Girl Dinner of a fried egg, toast, and apple with peanut butter. Dessert is nacho chips and salsa.
Daily Total: $23.44
Day Two: Thursday
8:30 a.m. — Rise and shine from the couch (where I fell asleep watching Temptation Island). L. also slept in. Eat nacho chips and salsa for breakfast. Catch up on emails and messages. Work from home this morning and get distracted by cleaning the oven and microwave (for the first time since I cannot remember when). I try this cleaning product recipe (baking soda, dish soap, and hydrogen peroxide) and it is okay, but I don’t think I’ll make it again.
12:30 p.m. — Arrive at a coffee shop to meet my coworker for a meeting — except I arrive at the wrong location. Drive to the right coffee shop and arrive 15 minutes late with a huge line. No coffee, no cookie, but could this be a sign it’s a zero spend day? (Yes, is the answer.)
1:30 p.m. — We check out one of our new office spaces and it has been beautifully decorated by the staff onsite. I am blown away by the shift in energy!
3 p.m. — I arrive home and am ready for lunch. I make two fried eggs, two toasts, stir-fry veggies and fries, plus a spinach, raspberry and banana smoothie. I am a better person after eating.
3:30 p.m. — See a message from my realtor that we can go look at a listing I’m interested in tonight at 6:30 p.m. Exciting! I continue messaging my coworkers and planning things for the week.
4:30 p.m. — The work day is done and I watch Miracles From Heaven on Netflix. So many feels. My sister texts that she is struggling and needs help (she is in another province with my nearly three-year-old niece). We FaceTime and chat through my niece’s evening routine. We brush our teeth together and sing a song over the phone. I tell my niece to give my sis “squeezes” (hugs) and I think this helps her feel better.
6:30 p.m. — Walk to the listing (an apartment down the street). The cherry blossoms are in full bloom! I like the unit and it’s lovely in a lot of ways, but there is this feeling “not quite” as I walk home. I will spend my life savings another day.
7:30 p.m. — Barbecue flavour chips seems like a responsible dinner. Yum. Take a bath, catch up on texts, and book a rental car for my visit to see family later in the month.
9 p.m. — Time for a “proper” dinner: salami sandwich with mayo on sourdough bread. I start reading a new book (my goal is one book a month): Love At First Spite. Stave off urges to go get a McFlurry. Barely.
Daily Total: $0
Day Three: Friday
7 a.m. — Wake up early because I have my last session of training this morning (EMDR — amazing training but emotionally activating). Brush teeth and run out the door. My coworker picks me up and I revel in being a passenger princess. We finish the training around 11 a.m. and drive to work.
12:30 p.m. — Lunch for a colleague’s birthday. We eat sushi, takoyaki, and birthday cake. Big chat with my coworkers and then my coworker drives me home.
3 p.m. — I’m finished for the day and I take a nap to celebrate Friday. Wake up around 4:30 p.m. and go to the grocery store for lemonade, a pepperoni cheese stick, ice cream, and popcorn twists. I am a beacon of health for dinner. $19.33
7 p.m. — In Canada, our oldest department store, The Bay, is closing down. A friend’s girlfriend was able to get two of their logo wool blankets at cost since she works for a supplier. There are three of us and two blankets, so a random draw is suggested. I am not chosen but my friend offers for me to take her blanket to save money. Initially I am excited but then I start reading about the colonial history of The Bay. I went to an Indigenous training recently and I feel ignorant at my lack of ability to make connections. The fact that it is a blanket makes me feel extra sick. I message my friends my concern and offer to pay for the blanket but let them know that I don’t feel comfortable keeping it. We reach an agreement that I will buy it for now with the option of my friend to pay me back when her finances settle or I will resell it. I call my girlfriend J. for support and ask her if we can get bubble tea tomorrow if my friends now hate me. She says we can get it either way. $165.27
Daily Total: $184.60
Day Four: Saturday
7 a.m. — Wake up early (this happens to me a lot when I perceive conflict or feel like I’ve let people down). My friend chat is quiet and I’m convinced they hate me. I force myself to go for a walk to return my library books before heading into work at the private practice clinic. I run into one of my coworkers on my walk and she gives me a hug which is really sweet.
9:30 a.m. — I feel better temporarily after the walk. But on my drive to work, I continue overthinking, wishing I had stayed quiet about my feelings and then dealt with the blanket on my own. My last message to the chat was a bid for reassurance that hasn’t come yet and I know the person I really need reassurance from is myself. I get a gruyère sandwich from an Italian grocery store near my work ($9.40, but I have a gift card). I have several client appointments in a row so this will function as brunch for me and allow me to take my medication earlier in the day. Zoloft + therapy has been so helpful for my anxiety. $9.40 (Expensed)
1 p.m. — My friends are sweet and remind me I’m not hated. I feel better but also because I had three reasonably good sessions. My new job has been super slow and it has been dispiriting to not have enough work to do. Having private practice on the side has been a really big help. I have a break between my third and fourth sessions and look at mistint paints (I want to find one to paint wooden deck furniture). No luck at the store, but I do leave with ideas. Go back to work and lay on a beanbag chair until my last client comes.
4:30 p.m. — Get gas on my way home because it is 20 cents cheaper a litre (gas has been varying so much here). Usually I am a fill-it-up-when-it’s-almost-empty girl, which my friends justifiably tease me for, but this feels so adult. $45.46
6 p.m. — J. comes over. I make us a vegan dinner of sweet Korean lentils, okra, and rice. J. is vegan and it was easier than expected to learn how to cook for her. It’s my first-ever relationship that has felt healthy and secure. We both had hard weeks, so our evening is really simple. After dinner, we walk to get bubble tea. J. treats since I treated last weekend. She gets oat milk tea with pearls and I get a taro slush with pearls (it is phenomenal and J. seems really into mine, too). When we get home, J. traces my back with her fingers for a looong time (one of my fave things and I feel so taken care of when she does it) and then it’s her turn. This leads to sex and then we fall asleep snuggled up for a little bit. At midnight, J. goes home and I go back to bed.
Daily Total: $45.46
Day Five: Sunday
6:50 a.m. — Wake up to my cat’s demands for breakfast. Feed her and struggle to go back to bed. Look up cat auto-feeders, then read erotica for about an hour and before falling back to sleep.
11:25 a.m. — Wake up for good and realize the time — wild for me, but nice. Respond to messages and buy a ticket to my friend M.’s comedy open mic show which is later in the week. Start reading Let Them by Mel Robbins (aptly timed for me). Stay inside too long but eventually get out for a short walk. $17.31
4 p.m. — Order a super belated birthday gift for my friend M. It is a notebook with raccoons that says “Trashy Thoughts”, and a multicolour click pen with dogs. We do small gifts and I think she will like these. $17.90
6:30 p.m. — Meet friends for hotpot. There are five of us and it takes a while to get a table. This restaurant serves individual hotpot bowls. I order the veggie bowl and it is just okay for me. But I am glad to see everyone and catch up. My friend B. orders a very spicy hotpot and lets me try his broth. I immediately start coughing and this seems to cheer him up. $25
8:45 p.m. — Drop by J.’s place to chat (I asked her if I could come chat about my feelings and she is very gracious to make time for me). She had a hard day and I find out that she experienced a family loss. We talk and then hold each other. I love her a lot and she is a gem. But I worry that I will overthink things in a misperceiving way or self-sabotage (this is probably down to past bad relationships experiences and a tad too much relational anxiety).
Daily Total: $60.21
Day Six: Monday
6 a.m. — I wake up to my cat’s readiness for breakfast. Feed her and go back to sleep until 7:30 a.m. Wake up with a zest for cleaning (where did this come from?) and tackle the bathroom and the mountain of clean clothes on the floor.
10 a.m. — Meeting in person with colleagues until 1 p.m. I get McDonald’s afterwards (McDouble, small fries, small iced tea) and it is delicious ($6.22). I get Timbits for dessert ($3.19). $9.41
2 p.m. — I was supposed to meet up with my friend and her daughters, but she loses her phone and doesn’t reply back in time. I catch up on emails before seeing a private client at 4:30 p.m. I listen to a webinar on my way home from work called The Case for Taking Sides in Couples Therapy and I wonder if I am the problem in my relationship. I still feel unsettled, even though J. is amazing. I asked my best friend K. if we can do a call tomorrow and we confirm a time.
7 p.m. — On my drive home, I stock up on snacks from the dollar store (three flavours of chips). Today feels extra unhealthy. Then I find out that a friend of mine has moved five hours away without the chance to say goodbye. Her husband was in police training so I knew this was coming, but I didn’t know exactly when. I adore her baby boy and I feel sad I couldn’t say goodbye to them. I debate saying something to her, but decide not to and find peace in that. I know she had to move super quickly after her husband’s grad and think that maybe I can visit her in the summer. Mercury was supposed to come out of retrograde today, but the residual yuck still feels there. $6.04
8 p.m. — I force myself to make dinner, which is spaghetti and meatballs. I clean my kitchen and journal. I play ball with L. and she demonstrates her athletic prowess. I think she was a soccer player in a previous life.
10 p.m. — Phone call with J. for about an hour and then a night-time walk. I check my mail (I love mail!) and realize something for another person down the street was delivered to me. I walk down to the correct building to deliver it. Give L. extra food as a deterrent to a 6 a.m. wake up call — let’s hope!
Daily Total: $15.45
Day Seven: Tuesday
8 a.m. — Wake up and today will be a WFH day. L. wants to play ball again, so we do. My first meeting is at 9:15 a.m. for about an hour. Today is really quiet without anything else scheduled after. I have readings I can do and catching up on emails, etc., but I am struggling with the lack of work right now. I ask my colleague who lives nearby if she wants to take a walk.
11 a.m. — Meet with my colleague to check out a nearby fundraiser book sale. She brings me soup made by her husband. It’s the last day of the book sale and it’s $10 for a bag of books. We each get a bag and lunch (the yummiest egg and cheese sandwich ever; $8 including tip). On my way out, I buy three 50/50 tickets ($10). $28
1:15 — Phone call with my best friend K., who is validating and supportive. She listens to me and we do a quick catchup, but will connect later in the week for a Zoom book club (we meet with another friend and are working through a workbook called Be Kind to Yourself).
4 p.m. — Take a nap. Be lazy and spend a lot of time on the couch this evening. I definitely need to up my activity levels.
9 p.m. — Heat up the soup from my coworker’s husband — his food is magical, too — such a good food day! It’s a lentil veggie soup and I eat it with buttered sourdough toast. I am craving chocolate so I walk to the store to get mini eggs which is the perfect end to the day. $2.63
Daily Total: $30.63
The Breakdown
Conclusion
“It was really interesting to track my spending this week and made me more aware — not only of money, but also what I eat, my activity levels and mental wellbeing. I don’t feel great about the blanket but I see it as a good learning moment to become more aware of what I buy and how sneaky colonialism can be (in many different forms). I’ve decided that when I get it from my friend, I will re-sell it and donate the proceeds to a local Indigenous organization, and that feels right for me. Reviewing the week makes me feel so grateful for the people in my life, who are so special to me, and for all that I have.”
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