Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.
Today: a science administration/adjunct professor who has a $128,000 household income and who spends some of her money this week on gravel for a retaining wall she doesn’t even want.
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Occupation: Science administration/adjunct professor
Industry: Education
Age: 38
Location: Portland, Oregon
Salary: $88,000
Household Income/Finances Setup: $128,000. My husband L.’s income is around $40,000 a year (he is self-employed and his income fluctuates depending on how much he is working on our home and what kinds of jobs he does). I cover the mortgage and L. covers the daycare bill. We split utilities and some other expenses. We keep separate accounts for everything except one shared vacation/travel savings account, which we each put $50 into every month.
Assets: $11,500 in a HYSA for home renovations; $4700 in a HYSA we use as an “emergency fund”; $2,000 in a joint vacation HYSA; $1,000 in a HYSA for my son (the money was a gift); $144,000 in retirement accounts; $280 in an Acorns account; and I have between $1,200 and $4,000 in my checking account, depending on the month. I have owned my home since 2020 with a 30-year mortgage with 3% interest. We also have a 529 college savings account for our son with approximately $1,300.
Debt: $1350 for our car loan; $20,000 loan owed to my parents (original amount was $30,000). I generally have between $500 and $4,000 on my credit cards at any given time and pay this off once I get my paycheck. I always pay the full statement balance but generally do carry a balance, especially since my son A. started daycare.
Paycheck Amount (1x/month): $3,600-$4,331.60
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing Costs: $1,834 mortgage. I own my home and also paid my parents $250 a month for a loan I took out from them when purchasing the home, however payment on this loan has been on pause since January 2024 due to daycare costs. I live with my husband L. and son S.
Loan Payments: $125 car payment.
Daycare: $1,580 — usually L. writes the daycare check and I pay the mortgage.
Water: Approximately $75 ( $400-$450 every three months, split with my husband)
Gas & Electric: $150-$250 (depending on season; this is my share of bill split with L.)
Internet: $64
S.’s College Savings Account: $25
Garbage & Recycling: $25-$30
Apple TV: $9.99
Hulu: $2.99
Google: $1.99
Apple Storage: $10.00
ClassPass: $21
Spotify: on L.’s account.
Netflix: On my sister’s account.
Max: On a coworker’s account.
Car Insurance: L. pays as I cover the internet bill.
Donations: ACLU: I try to donate around $20 every two months. I used to have an auto-debited donation for ACLU Nature Conservancy but I paused this when A. started daycare, so now I just send a donation if I feel like I can.
Phone Bill: I technically “pay” my mom $100 for L. and my phone bill, but she hasn’t transferred the money to her account in quite a while. I do get a $30 credit from my employer towards my phone bill.
Health Insurance: I pay $514 for a family plan and $40 for dental, which comes out of my check pre tax. I also have $100 taken out of my paycheck pre tax for medical expenses which I can then reimburse for my health spending account. I also have $208 taken out of every paycheck pre tax for childcare, which I then reimburse myself for.
Savings: I attempt to put $200+ in my various savings accounts every month, but this varies.
Yearly Expenses
Fitness App: $100 (for Sweat or whatever workout app I am using).
Monarch Budgeting App: $50
Nugs.net: $100 (concert streaming subscription).
Amazon Prime: $60 (split full cost L.).
Southwest Credit Card Fee: $149
Alaska Airlines Annual Credit Card Fee: $95
Auto Registration: $120
Portland City Arts Tax: $35
PBS: $60
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, it was always just assumed I would go to college and I can’t say I considered any other options (except for maybe 12 hours when I thought about the Coast Guard because I like boats and the coast and then remembered I also don’t like guns or the military). My mother, father, and stepdad all went to college, my father had a PhD and my mom and stepdad each have a master’s. My mom and step-dad are both teachers and learning was always valued as very important. I really wanted to go out of state for college but luckily my parents convinced me not to saddle myself with that kind of debt. My four-year undergraduate degree was a combination of small scholarships, student loans, my parents paying for portions, and me paying for living expenses. I also took out a private $5,000 endowment loan for a scuba diving three-week study abroad program. My master’s degree was primarily paid for by my employer at the time (a large state university that offered tuition reimbursement for employees), aside from $5,000 which was taken out via an endowment loan. I paid off my student loans in full in 2019.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
I was primarily raised by my mom and step-dad, who did talk to me about the value of saving, and investing and the importance of that (although it fell on somewhat deaf ears). I do remember an eighth grade history teacher adding some financial knowledge to his curriculum. I have struggled with my finances in the past and had a period of $10,000+ credit card debt in my 20s. I worked hard to get out of that and won’t go back down that road.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
At age 12 I started helping my aunt out with her accounting business, and at 15 I started working as a T-ball coach for one summer and at Sonic Drive In as a carhop. I held a variety of service industry jobs in high school and college and almost always had at least two jobs. My jobs in high school were to have spending money and save for college, and my college jobs were to cover living expenses and have spending money. I have a lifelong bad habit of having too many jobs.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I wouldn’t say I “worried” about money but I did understand that things cost money. I knew we took road trips to visit family on the East Coast because it was much cheaper than flying. I knew I stopped horseback riding lessons because it was getting very expensive. I was never worried about having food to eat or clothes, and once I started working at a young age I started paying for things for fun. Before starting college I saved up approximately $7,000 from jobs. I did use some of that money to get SCUBA certified as I knew once I was in college I wouldn’t be able to afford it. I worried about money a lot after I graduated college and during my 20s and early 30s when I struggled to find employment as a biologist and spent a lot of time doing very low-paying or non-paying internships, and would alternate that with working for my aunt’s business to generate income. My first full-time position was at age 26 for $29,000 a year (because: science). Money was a constant source of stress. In addition, L. was convicted of a felony for weed possession (over a decade ago now) which resulted in the loss of his ability to practice law, significant debt, a 10-month stay in prison and then a career change, which caused a lot of financial upheaval and stress for both of us including moving, loss of a vehicle, loss of income, etc. My bank accounts were actually seized by the state government at the time and I lost what I did have and had to take out a loan from my parents to survive. While this was a horrible and traumatic experience this also gave L. the push that was needed to follow me to a more liberal state where his affinity for cannabis would never be an issue again.
Do you worry about money now?
In 2019 I was promoted to a different position at my university and my income raised significantly. I went from constantly worrying about money, having multiple roommates, and not anticipating being able to buy my own home in my new city to having significantly more flexibility with my money and being able to purchase a home in 2020. I moved to the West Coast in 2016 and hustled really hard for four years after I moved here, continuing my past job and doing freelance for a few other universities as I had developed specialized skills in museum collection database management. I did all of this in addition to my main full-time job in order to save up money for a down payment. I am really glad I did this as it paid off but I also was working so much it had a pretty serious impact on my mental health. I have done some real work on understanding my anxiety and my natural instinct to chronically overextend myself and have worked hard in recent years to change that. I do worry about money now, mainly because of the huge cost of childcare, the lack of raises/CLA at my employer, and just the general situation our country is currently in. I do worry significantly less now at age 39 than I worried at age 29 when I was making $29,000 a year and putting living expenses on credit cards and had a partner that was starting over career wise. I have received raises in the past few years in my current position by taking on additional work, and I think in large part because I showed my value and worth during the pandemic when my job essentially changed overnight and I was working 60+ hours a week as part of the crisis response team. I also teach courses on the side which accounts for $8,000 of my annual income, but if my courses don’t fill with students I don’t end up teaching so I do worry about whether that income will come to fruition, because in the summer when I do not have that income money is much more tight. I also worry about how I will continue to afford home repairs once my inheritance savings are gone (but I hope once my son is out of daycare I can save more). Portland is getting a lot hotter in the summer and we don’t have air conditioning, so that is the primary concern. I also still worry about L.’s significant debt from law school and how that will impact us in the future — especially depending on how the current administration decides to handle student loan debt. I have also struggled to change my spending habits now that S. is in daycare and we essentially have a second mortgage and my husband is self employed without retirement benefits.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
After college I became somewhat financially responsible for myself however I alternated between living at home with my parents and doing internships/field work in my field for several years. During this period I saved up approximately $12,000 to backpack Europe with my best friend, then moved back home and saved another $12,000 to move to Los Angeles. I was able to do this by not paying rent/utilities and living with my parents for “free” and being on my parents’ health insurance (I did contribute to food costs, etc). Once I moved to LA I became fully responsible for myself, however the financial situation in LA did not work for me and I moved back to my home state after one year and moved in with my partner and started a job at my undergraduate university (where I then simultaneously pursued my master’s). Since this time I have been responsible for all my expenses (besides my phone), however my parents have been there for some support if I needed help (like during time L. was convicted and when my dog had a major surgery), and I know they would help as much as they could if something else happened now. I do not plan to rely on that in any way as I know they are going to need their money for their care as they age, especially as my mom’s health continues to decline.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My father passed away in 2019 and I received inheritance of approximately $25,000 in 2021 when his estate was settled. This was very unexpected as he was not really involved in my life and his financial and living situation was a complete mess, however it turned out the property of his former business was worth a lot of money due to its zoning — even though it was in horrific shape — which resulted in some inheritance for me and my siblings. I bought a fixer-upper house as L. is a contractor and we decided to prioritize location (and there wasn’t anything near my university we could afford that was in great shape and I wanted to take advantage of a home buying grant available through my employer). The inheritance money has been extremely helpful as I have allocated this money towards home repairs/renovations, and already spent a significant portion as we have redone the bathroom, kitchen, built a fence and sauna, and painted our house. In addition, my parents did loan me $30,000 when I bought my house so that I could get to a 20% down payment and not pay mortgage insurance. I have paid off $10,000 of the loan and currently owe $20,000. The payments are currently paused due to daycare expense. In addition, my work provided me with a $15,000 down payment grant to buy in the area of my work which essentially gets forgiven over five years (and I just hit five years last month!). I also received a $20,000 Wells Fargo Neighborhood LIFT grant which was also forgiven after five years (I did nothing other than make under $75,000 a year and apply and get lucky enough to get an appointment. My realtor let me know about this program and I am forever grateful it all aligned. I essentially got $35,000 towards my house for free!).
Day One: Monday
7 a.m. — I wake up feeling really tired on this Monday. I spent the weekend on the coast with friends and relaxed, but feel spent. I go in to wake my son S. up and he asks for Daddy, and as Daddy walks in he says “Yay, there he is!” I try to hug him as my husband L. picks him up and he physically pushes me away from him. You would think after some time apart he would be excited to see mom but instead it’s always the opposite. L. makes some eggs and I get the coffee ready. I was gone all weekend and don’t have my usual lunch groceries so I grab a Healthy Choice alfredo chicken and broccoli frozen dinner recommended by a fitness influencer I bought for emergencies and a rice packet. I throw on a sweater, jeans, and my Blundstone boots and we get S. ready for daycare and then I drop him off and head to my office. My commute is really short so I either drive S. then drive 10 minutes to work or bike 10 minutes to work, depending on the day.
9 a.m. — It’s a slow morning, so I catch up on emails, have a quick meeting, then make a quick bowl of Kodiak protein oatmeal and throw in some freeze-dried strawberries. My new hack is to keep freeze-dried fruit in my office, so when I don’t have fresh fruit I can throw in some freeze dried and it rehydrates a bit and almost tastes fresh! After some computer work a vendor comes by and then I drive the supplies they brought up to our science labs. I chat with the bio lab manager for a minute then head back to my office. I see my friend venmo requested me $20 for gas from the weekend trip. I pay promptly. $20
12 p.m. — I don’t normally take a lunch break but lately I have been trying to either go on a quick walk or go to the on campus gym two times a week, so I eat my frozen meal (not good, won’t repurchase). After lunch I grab my jacket and phone and walk around the pretty area of campus and call my parents. They are in a great mood because they went to the Bonnie Raitt concert last night. My mom is at the beginning of Alzheimer’s and often conversations feel really hard, so it was nice to have a really positive nice conversation.
1 p.m. — I head back to my office, host a committee meeting on Zoom and work on some items for the course I teach. I also prep to be out of the office the rest of the week as I have a training, then I finally get around to buying tickets to a comedian’s show that I meant to buy a few weeks ago… But now the fourth-row price are cheaper than the back rows were in the past! I grab three tickets (one for me, my husband L. and a friend who has already venmoed). I spend a significant amount of my money on concert tickets and comedy shows and I just love it too much to give it up. I send L. a venmo request for his ticket. I used to cover the cost of both our tickets often but recently have been asking him to pay for his own tickets because we go to too many shows for me to cover alone, especially with the added cost of a babysitter. $38
4:30 p.m. — I pick S. up from daycare, and pull up at home. L. is out digging in the yard — in true L. fashion he told me two weeks ago he was going to use up some wood he had stored in his shop to build flower beds in our yard because he wanted the shop space back and because our trip had been canceled due to S. being sick and he had some open days in his schedule (he is a self-employed contractor). But once he had dug up the yard to level the beds he realized it just “made the most sense” to level out the whole yard and build a massive retaining wall. We have talked about eventually building this wall, but it was definitely down the road and after we replaced our single pane windows from 1948… We have a limited amount of savings for house projects and it was a source of tension last week but he got me a window quote and it seems like we can do both with the money I have saved, so I relented and am letting him build his wall. He seems to think I am going to really love a level yard. He tells me he put $104 on my card for supplies. $104
6 p.m. — We head to a friend’s (and our old rental house) for a get-together with their sister and brother in law who are in town visiting. It is St. Patty’s so L. smoked corned beef and my friend made a ton of amazing food. I drink one beer for the holiday. We hang out, have delicious food, and get caught up. It is so nice to see them; S. is on his best behavior and has a ton of fun with the dogs. We head home around 8 p.m., give S. a quick bath and then I attempt to read him stories but he only wants Daddy, orders me out of the room and slams the door behind me. Ouch. I take a quick shower, do my skin care routine (Bioderma moisturizer and eye cream), tidy the kitchen and read my book, Snowglobe. Once S. is down we turn on John Oliver, then I head to bed around 11 p.m., read, and doze off for 20 minutes before S. cries out and I go rub his back. I eventually fall back to sleep myself around 12:40 a.m.
Daily Total: $162
Day Two: Tuesday
6:50 a.m. — My whole body hurts — this usually happens when I skip working out. I head out into the garage and do a full-body strength workout with lighter weights than I normally would use. I am hypermobile and have learned that my body’s best medicine is a consistent strength training routine. I get it done, eat the eggs and toast L. makes, and kiss S. goodbye as L. will drive him to daycare for me today. I take a quick shower and get dressed in a wool sweater and turtleneck as I am attending an offsite training and was warned the room will be cold. I do my skincare and makeup (Bioderma moisturizer, Cetaphil mineral sunscreen, Bare Minerals face powder and mascara). L. gets back from the daycare run and I head out in my car across town while drinking coffee, listening to Up First, and hearing the horrific news about new Israeli strikes on Gaza.
9 a.m. — I arrive at the hotel for the training and I can tell immediately that there will be a lot of wasted time in this training, but oh well. I answer emails as I sit through the training. It takes two hours for the trainer to really even get started. Eeek.
11:30 a.m. — We break for lunch and I head to a local taco shop. It’s taco Tuesday and two for one tacos! I manage to get four tacos for $9 (with tip), charged to my work card. It is exciting to eat different food than my usual routine! As I eat I simultaneously call an online training vendor and argue for my money back. They put me into the wrong online course and I didn’t realize it until I had completed about 35 hours of the training. I couldn’t bear to start over on the online course so I found this (free!) training of the same material. They finally agreed to refund me (this is my third call). $9.00 (Expensed)
12 p.m. — I head into the Dollar Store next door to the taco shop to kill time. I don’t have a Dollar Store near me and figure there might be a few kid things I could grab. I grab Easter eggs, two sets of bunny ears (one for me and one for S.), a big ocean-themed coloring book, and some kid flashcards to help learn words. I’ve been trying to align my shopping with my politics but totally forgot today until I am on my way out and it’s too late to check… Oops. I get back to training just in time and try to pay attention while simultaneously responding to work emails while eating fruit snacks and chocolate ganache hearts I brought with me. $8.26
3:30 p.m. — I leave training 30 minutes early because I teach tonight. I drive back across town through the rural shortcut while listening to a new Vox Today Explained, and then need a break from news so I start up the Smartless Adam Scott episode. I make it to S.’ daycare by 4:07 p.m., drop him off to L., and drive to campus. I have to run by my office because I forgot my class notes, and then I head to the lab and get set up for my 4:40 p.m. teaching time. My amazing teaching assistant (who I love so much!) and I chat for a bit and then we start lab. It goes quickly without a lot of issues.
6:30 p.m. — I get home earlier than normal since I don’t need to bike, and quickly grab thank you cards I requested off Buy Nothing from my neighbor’s porch. My husband is tired from retaining wall work so I make S. a dinner of sweet potatoes, refried beans, pears, and olives (toddler diets are so weird) and make myself a leftover corned beef Swiss rye sandwich, potato salad, and regular salad. I do a quick one-mile walk around the block to hit my daily step goal and grab some 4T rain pants off a neighbor’s porch (my neighborhood is amazing for kids’ stuff on Buy Nothing!). L. gets in the sauna while I clean up the kitchen and read S. books. L. built a sauna in our house a year ago which helps him with his work fatigue and helps me deal with the gray rainy weather we have for half the year. Having a partner that can build pretty much anything has its perks.
9 p.m. — L. and I queue up an episode of The White Lotus and then can’t resist watching the second one. I fight the urge for snacks during the first episode but during the second I end up having two peanut butter Ritz crackers (we like to steal S.’ snacks), a Godiva ganache heart, and then a small bowl of raspberry chocolate ice cream. We finish watching at 11:30 p.m. and I get in bed and read Snowglobe for a bit before lights out at midnight.
Daily Total: $8.26
Day Three: Wednesday
7:15 a.m. — I do NOT want to get up. I have another day of training across town and because I get to leave home a half hour later than normal I drag myself out of bed and do a quick 30-minute Sweat app upper body workout. Lots of times I end up working out at 8 p.m., so I am taking advantage of being able to have a little more time in the morning this week. After my workout I eat the eggs and toast L. prepared, help get S. dressed — which is much more difficult than it sounds — spray off, and throw on leggings and a cozy sweatshirt since I am not on campus at all today. L. gets back from the daycare run with my car and I take off. I plan to listen to the news but the new Haim song is giving me such great vibes and so I end up back with the Smartless episode.
11:30 a.m. — After several hours of training we break for lunch and I have ambitious plans. I hate going to the Costco near my house: it is the second Costco ever built so it has a super old layout, plus everyone from Washington State comes over the river to not pay sales tax. Plus I just hate wasting my free time to drive 25 minutes to Costco. Lucky for me there is one six minutes from the training. I run through the gas line first then head inside and make two returns ($38.94). Then I power through a quick shopping trip. My original plan was just to grab non-perishables but there are some good sales and I do have my cooler bag with me, so I decide to go for it. I grab Finish Jet-dry, Finish dishwasher tabs, free and clear detergent, AAA batteries, size 5 diapers, new windshield wipers for my car, organic chicken and rice soup, shaved sirloin, grass-fed beef sausages, meatballs, strawberries, mushrooms, coffee, mandarins, pre-made burritos, lentil packets for lunch, a bag of croutons, Dot’s Pretzels, and an ROC eyecream three-pack ($298). As usual it totals way more than I wanted to spend but also it will last a while and I don’t feel like I am going against all my principles to shop there. $336.94
12 p.m. — The Costco food court options are not appealing so I run through a Subway drive-through. I recently rediscovered Subway after a 10-year hiatus. It’s not that bad. I get a turkey sandwich and chips, and ask for ice to dump into my cooler for my Costco stuff. The nice guy even fills it out twice for me. I eat my sandwich while driving back to training listening to Britany William’s Filter Free Friday podcast and am back in my seat just in time! $14.94 (Expensed)
1:45 p.m. — Sitting in training and L. texts me that he ordered 11 yards of gravel for the retaining wall project. I left a credit card with him for these expenses which he charged the purchase to. $721 for gravel — ouch. I have about $11,000 saved up (mostly some inheritance from when my dad died and money I have saved over time) for house projects. I know that this retaining wall is going to raise the value of my house by a lot more than it costs us, but man, a flat yard just doesn’t do it for me the way a hot tub would. In a week I will pull all of the recent wall costs out of my savings and transfer to checking to cover the costs. I listen to training while also looking at my budget on the Monarch platform and responding to work emails. $721
3:50 p.m. — I leave training 10 minutes early so I can get to daycare by the 4:30 p.m. closing time. I listen to a bit of Filter Free podcast, Up First, and more Today Explained about the atrocities happening to Venezuelans being deported from our country. I grab S. and decide to head to the library as I have a past due book. The two libraries near me are closed for renovations so we have to drive a bit further. We get stopped by a train which is annoying but at least S. gets to watch it. At the library we try to pick out a few more books but S. drops a massive smelly poop and I have no supplies so we head home pretty quick and I start unloading all my Costco goods.
5 p.m. — I suddenly remember I planned to make my birthday cake tonight! I don’t normally make myself a cake but I am trying to teach S. about birthdays. I quickly mix up a Bob’s Red Mill gluten-free chocolate cake mix and bake that while I make a Trader Joe’s salsa verde chicken (I basically heat it up) with mushrooms, rice, and steamed broccoli. I realize the romaine I bought a week ago is still good so I also make Caesar salads and use my new croutons. L. runs to the store to get cash and grabs me some cilantro but by the time he gets back I am hungry and just want to eat. My son has sweet potatoes, olives, refried beans, strawberries, and doesn’t touch his chicken and rice.
7 p.m. — I jump on my elliptical in the garage while L. bathes S. and then they frost my cake. I got my elliptical off Buy Nothing last summer after I sprained my ankle and I actually really like having it as I am trying to start adding cardio back into my life. I get 11 minutes in while watching the Love is Blind reunion before S. comes out crying because he really wants to eat the cake NOW. Well, 11 minutes is better than 0. We go inside and do the birthday song to try and teach him about birthdays but he just wants the cake! Wants the bowl! Give me the cake! Oh well we tried. I read S. a few books then jump in the shower and wash my hair while L. finishes story time.
9 p.m. — I pull up the new Liza Shlesinger special and watch it while folding laundry. Half of it I heard when I last saw her perform, but some of it has been reworked. I eat some chocolate cake and ice cream, and around 10:30 p.m. I head to my room to blow dry my hair. I read some weird news about a missing student and the student that was with her and before I know it I am in a Wikipedia wormhole and am somehow reading all about a student who was taken into custody by North Korea years ago and ended up dying. One of my biggest vices is late night Wikipedia wormholes.
11:50 p.m. — I read for a minute then turn off my light but can’t fall asleep and it’s either the blue light or the chocolate cake but either way it is definitely my fault.
Daily Total: $1072.88
Day Four: Thursday
6:40 a.m. — I wake up and immediately notice the lights are on in the living room which is abnormal as I am usually first up. Oh yeah… The gravel truck is coming this morning. Every woman’s dream is a massive truck shooting gravel into her front yard at 7 a.m. on her birthday. I lay in bed for a few minutes and don’t ask me why, but I start thinking about summer plans. I had at one point been thinking about a road trip, then got set on a Hawaii trip, then realized we don’t really have the money for those flights (even though I did manage to find shack-type accommodations for around $1,000 for nine days!). I start scrolling recreation.gov’s app and see there are still some cabins available in August. Then I get out of bed and get S. so he can watch this crazy truck shoot gravel from a giant lever via joystick. I answer some work emails that need to be out before a 10 a.m. committee meeting that I have to miss due to training while the boys watch the truck and then L. makes us breakfast and gives me a birthday card, yay!
8:30 a.m. — I have a 30-minute drive to the last day of training and music cues up when I start the car. I just can’t bear to switch to news, so I listen to a fun mix of Haim, Billy Strings, Greensky Bluegrass, and Doechii. Training starts and I do a mix of listening to the training, editing and submitting a recommendation letter, and responding to emails. I also start looking at the cabins available in August. I had a bear experience in 2020 and if I am not in Oregon or Washington I now want a cabin. No bears sniffing me through my tent again, thank you. It’s also just nice with a two-year-old because he can be contained if needed.
11:30 a.m. — It is lunch break from training and I head to the Columbia Employee Store and return a Mountain Hardwear jacket I got at the tent sale about a month ago. It was a really great deal but unfortunately once I got it home and looked at reviews it seemed like a bad idea. I get $104.99 back. Then I head to a local brewpub that’s part of a chain. I recently got convinced to buy their “Passport” so now I need to get a stamp. I order a half turkey sandwich and beer cheese potato soup and call my mom quickly. It’s a weird conversation: She asks what I am doing with my day as if she knows it’s my birthday and she already texted me, but then she launches into some strange topics. It often doesn’t make sense, can feel depressing, and I just don’t have the energy for it today so I tell her my food has come and we hang up. I eat quickly and head back to training. $14.95 (Expensed)
1 p.m. — Back in training and I work on a summer trip plan while listening. I have a visit to my home state planned and a work trip to Seattle and weekend camping trips, but would also like a few more days off before the fall semester starts which is always a super busy time for me. I mess around with what is available in Montana and Idaho but can’t find anything that works well due to my bear fear. I decide to look around Northern California and see cabins that I looked at a while back in Lassen National Park are still available! Before I know it I have a nice little road trip planned with a few cheap hotels and two nights at a cabin in the park for $167.20. The hotels are on booking.com and you pay when you arrive and cancel really late which is my new mom hack and needed with a kid who always gets sick. I’ve had many, many trips canceled or ruined in the last two years due to my kid getting sick and I am realizing road trips with flexibility are safer with a two-year-old. I spent $700 at the start of this month rebooking flights to Florida as we had to postpone the trip due to S. having a stomach bug, and in October I got hand, foot, and mouth disease in Hawaii — would not recommend! I plan the road trip to correlate with the Tedeschi Trucks Band show we are planning to go to in Bend as we will already be headed south. I don’t buy the concert tickets yet because Bend can be smoky at that time of year, so who knows if any of this will really happen. I also have to talk L. into it. $167.20
3:50 p.m. — Leave training to drive home and the traffic is bad. I listen to Up First and The Daily podcasts and arrive at daycare five minutes late but they are super nice and don’t charge me as we are never really late. Head home and do a literal five-minute workout (big believer in something over nothing) then quick shower, change, and kisses to S. The babysitter arrives and he is so excited he runs up and hugs her! We head to a local bar/restaurant to meet friends before the comedy show for my birthday. L. and I are first to arrive and we order fancy cocktails. I’ve been trying to drink less since my mother’s diagnosis, as Alzheimer’s is correlated to alcohol, and now I track my weekly intake on the Bottle Cap app. I am aiming for less than four drinks most weeks, but also just trying to get an accurate picture of my intake. But birthday = yolo.
6 p.m. — Friends arrive and we order nachos, bao buns, and spuds for the table plus one more cocktail each. This bar is tropical themed, and that is my vibe as a person, perfect for this rainy birthday. Friends arrive and two give me gifts — so unnecessary. I don’t generally do a friend thing for my birthday and this is part of why — I don’t need people to get me gifts! One couple gives me a lovely pair of earrings and my other friend gives me some mushroom string lights. When it is time to head out my husband pays and he walks back to the table realizing it was way too much (they didn’t even show him his total — Portland servers, ugh). We realize he got my two friends’ tab put on his as well, but it’s still too high. Ooooh well.
8 p.m. — Arrive at the comedy show and meet some other friends. L. gets me one White Claw and then we settle in for the show that is eight local comedians. It is reasonably funny — my expectations were low, so I wasn’t hard to impress. I had bought tickets for this weeks ago ($45 total for me and L. but a friend actually venmo’d me to cover my ticket as a gift).
10:30 p.m. — We arrive home and I pay the babysitter in cash. Get ready for bed and I read my book for a bit before lights out. $80
Daily Total: $262.15
Day Five: Friday
7:30 — It is Friday and I took the day off! Staff get one free day off during Spring Break and since my Florida trip got canceled, I saved the day off for today. I intended to get up and work out but the three drinks last night changed my mind. We don’t rush but pack up the car for our weekend getaway and L. makes eggs, toast, and coffee. We stop by O’Reilly’s on the way out of town for my husband to get oil for my car (he pays) and then of course we run home because we always forget something. It is pouring rain and I drive the two and a half hours to the coast so L. can stare at pictures of rock walls.
1:30 p.m. — We arrive at the Coast Aquarium! I have been so excited to bring S. here as I love the ocean and all sealife. I buy our tickets ($59.90) and a latte ($6.60). My step-mom had venmo’d me $60 for my birthday, so I send her a thank you text and a picture of us at the aquarium and tell her that is what I spent it on! It’s super cold and rainy and S. isn’t very interested. We wonder if he is cold and try the inside exhibits, but he is not feeling it. He is normally so happy and engaged that his behavior feels odd. I run to the car to grab a thicker jacket for him but around 4:30 p.m. we give up and leave. He is also all of a sudden coughing……Uh oh. $6.60
4:30 p.m. — We drive the 20 minutes to check into our yurt at the local campsite. Yurts are my hack for how to travel around the PNW for cheap while still being warm. We decide to drive to a favorite fish and chips restaurant about 25 minutes away so S. has more time to nap in the car. Once we get to the restaurant we each order a beer and the halibut and chips. L. fishes and makes an amazing F&C, so I am very picky, but this restaurant is actually really good and comparable. We end up eating really quickly because S. seems so unhappy and is coughing quite a bit. There is live music so people probably can’t hear, but it’s not great to be the ones with the sick kid in the restaurant. L. pays for dinner.
7 p.m. — We run by the grocery store and I grab two Chobani yogurts, more kids’ ibuprofen, a Pedialyte in case S. starts feeling worse, a lime for beer, baby food pouches since we forgot, and some cold brew and half and half. We get back to our yurt and get set up. S. gets a second wind and seems much happier with his ball and toys and songs and books. I eat some of the amazing gummy candies my sister mailed me for my birthday and open a Modelo but it tastes gross. We eventually get S. settled for bed and sleeping in his travel crib and we chill and snuggle and I read my book until I feel sleepy around 11 p.m. Lights out but S. is coughing so much and waking me up that I have a pretty rough night of sleep with a good amount of time awake. $27.53
Daily Total: $34.13
Day Six: Saturday
7 a.m. — S. wakes up and I get him up and put him in bed next to me watching Trash Truck on my phone. I try to really limit screen time but every once in a while it is very helpful. I rest for a few more minutes and then get him a little breakfast of a grain bar, apple sauce, and strawberries while I eat yogurt and berries. He seems more chipper this morning, yay! Once L. is up and has had some coffee we walk over to the beach off the campground. It’s not raining and relatively nice out. We have a nice little beach walk and then head back to my car to go find breakfast. S. is really coughing so we decide to go to a breakfast spot with outdoor seating. We order coffees and I can’t decide between the biscuits and gravy with poached egg or French toast, and then they blow my mind and let me do both! Chocolate chip pancakes for S. and B&G for L. The food and service are both really good — this might be my new fave spot in this town. I pay for the check. $39.85
12 p.m. — We head to a local lighthouse and I pay the $7 access fee. We check out the visitor center then walk the path to the lighthouse and head down to the beach to do some tidepooling. I see an anemone with a tiny bit of fishing line stuck in it so I pull it to remove it and another two feet and giant knot comes out of the anemone! What!!!! Omg. So trippy to see — sad the trash was there but dang, watching that was AWESOME! I just wish I had a video for my corals class I teach in the fall. S. seems like he’s not loving the tidepooling, so we walk the half mile back to the car. $7
1:30 p.m. — We decide it might be best to cancel our dinner reservation and for S. to have some rest so I drop L. and S. off at the yurt to see if S. will nap. I head to a nearby local point that has a winery I love and order a glass of rosé and read my book in the outdoor garden while inhaling more gummy candies. It’s nice and relaxing, but eventually L. lets me know that S. will not nap after all so I pay my tab and add a cute whale sticker because I can’t resist a good marine life sticker. $15.20
3:30 p.m. — We decide to drive into town and then S. falls asleep in his car seat so I have L. drive me to this building that I really want to check out because it’s been built so you can essentially run up to the roof if there is a tsunami. I walk around and check that out while L. hangs in the car with napping S. After a while we head to the harbor and walk around and show S. the sea lions. We had a fancy dinner planned at our favorite restaurant, but no one wants to sit next to a coughing child so we order the food to go and sit and eat it on the boardwalk and watch all the boats. I pay for the dinner ($81) since my parents just let me know they sent me some cash for my birthday. The sun is out and we have a gorgeous view. S. eats snacks and we drink our beers and eat our takeout. Not ideal, but we made it work — and we saved some money not getting drinks, which is good with my overspending as of late. After a while we pack up, and I grab a quick ice cream cone. $5
6 p.m. — We run back to the grocery store and buy some beer and a thing of honey because I have heard honey can help soothe a cough. It costs $9 and does absolutely nothing for S., but I tried. $22.58
6:15 p.m. — We run through the gas station on the way back to the yurt and then through McDonald’s to get chicken nuggets and fries for S (L. buys). He eats exactly one bite.
7 p.m. — We walk down to the beach and watch the sunset. We got lucky with a beautiful sunset!! We enjoy some time standing on the beach until S. makes it clear he is over it. We head back to our yurt and S. colors, reads books, and plays for a bit. Around 9 p.m. we dim the lights and he is out right away. L. and I drink a beer and chat and look at the beautiful boy we created.
11 p.m. — Just as I am putting my book down S. wakes up super fussy and coughing and feels very hot to the touch. We take his temp — 103.2! Ahh. I call our nurse hotline to make sure this isn’t something he needs to be immediately seen for, we give him Tylenol and we snuggle and try to soothe him, and we all have a somewhat rotten night of sleep as he coughs and coughs. My poor angel. Without fail he gets sick anytime we have a trip.
Daily Total: $89.63
Day Seven: Sunday
7:20 a.m. — S. wakes up and I try to read some stories to him but he won’t have it so we watch a little Trash Truck. I start packing up the car and then walk down to the beach really quick while L. and S. get ready. It’s drizzling and S. clearly doesn’t feel good so we head straight home. We stop at a coffee house and I grab a coffee and breakfast burrito. L. runs into a donut place for some donuts. We drive the two and a half hours home without another stop, and poor S. coughing and coughing and coughing. $12.75
12:30 p.m. — We get home and L. gives S. a steam shower while I unpack everything. We get S. settled on the couch for some TV time. All rules are off when he is sick. I call the nurse hotline to see if there is anything else I can do for his cough because he is coughing non-stop now. I work on laundry, unpacking, cleaning up, and then eventually drive our bags of beer cans and pop cans to the collection point (you get a deposit back), then head to pick up some groceries. I grab romaine lettuce, spring mix lettuce, two things of bananas, Zoi’s yogurt, wheat bread, broccoli, a cucumber, apple juice, and some bubble water that is on sale. I cash out some of our can money because I am way over budget in spending this month — I get a $21 credit and only pay $18.01. I generally use this towards groceries at the end of the month if I am going over my budget. $18.01
3:30 p.m. — I head home and see that our water bill cleared my account. $466.38 for three months of water. Ouch. I ask L to venmo me $238. He is snuggling with S. on the couch and S. wants nothing to do with me so I go out to the garage and do a 40-minute lower body strength Sweat app workout. After that I jump in the sauna we have in the garage and get reallllly sweaty while reading my book. I put batana oil in my hair during the sauna, because post partum, I got influenced to buy it and while I think it does nothing, I want to use it up. Next, time to finally shower and wash my hair.
5 p.m. — I log into my health account and debate filling the new prescription I now have. I met with a psychiatrist two weeks ago to discuss options for anxiety medication after I read there was a correlation between the script I use on an as-needed basis and Alzheimer’s, and I really want to decrease risk, as risk is higher if a parent is diagnosed. I got on Lexapro post partum but then got off of it last May as it had some side effects. Since, I have managed my anxiety (which mainly manifests as bladder spasms late at night) with this other script. After a weekend without a bathroom easily accessible I kind of realized my bladder spasms are pretty bad right now (you notice it more when you are peeing outside on the ground outside a yurt) and I know I probably should get back on a daily med but I also want to not need a med. I put the new med in my cart but then can’t quite get myself to commit and don’t actually fill the order.
6 p.m. — L. makes chicken salads and we eat that. S. wants nothing and looks so miserable and doesn’t seem to want comfort from anyone but his dad. Ouch. I go on a quick walk around the block to get my step count up and some fresh air. Eventually S. falls asleep on the couch and we transfer him to his crib. We cue up the season finale of Severance and then the new episode of The White Lotus and snack on ice cream, Dot’s Pretzels, and mandarins. I eat some of the leftover cake I drove around all weekend without consuming. I also have some mango flavored Kion Aminos because leg day tends to make me really sore and I think it helps? I get in bed around 11 p.m. and attempt to finish my book but can’t stay awake. Unfortunately the sleep is short lived and the night is rough with my poor sick baby waking up coughing continuously.
Daily Total: $30.76
The Breakdown
Conclusion
“This week involved some travel to celebrate my birthday so I ate out more than usual, but I do know I need to stop spending so much on going out with friends to concerts and comedy shows. It is a double-edged sword though — I do feel that I am a much happier parent because I haven’t given up my social life and these types of activities fill my cup. I do want to save for larger travel (and especially for an international trip with my bestie celebrating our 40th birthdays next year) so I have been trying to curb my spending on clothing and shopping and was glad to see that reflected. I have spent the last year looking more closely at my expenses but not necessarily taking action related to the problems, so one of my 2025 goals is to actually try to take action — however I haven’t felt like the year has started off on the right foot. In large part this is because I went ahead and bought our major flights for the year (to my home state this summer, to visit my sister on the East Coast, and to my home state for Christmas) as well as the unexpected expense of recently rebooking a spring trip to visit my uncle due to illness. There is now more pressure to travel to our home state so my son can spend time with grandparents and extended family. The retaining wall was also a large investment for the week (and only got more expensive) but it is really beautiful and I know it has added to the value of my home (however seeing my HYSA lose $6,000 for this project did hurt!). With summer coming up my income will be reduced so I will have to be even more cognizant.”
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